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New research findings indicate that methamphetamine abuse may result in functional changes in the brain that are similar to those seen in people with degenerative brain diseases.

Researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles, have found more evidence that methamphetamine abuse may cause alterations in the brain. The researchers used a highly sensitive technique called quantitative electroencephalography (QEEG) to assess electrical activity in the brain, or “brainwaves,” of recently abstinent methamphetamine abusers and nonusers. Excess amounts of slow brainwaves—delta and theta—have been associated with head injuries and memory problems.

For the study, Dr. Thomas Newton and colleagues recruited methamphetamine users who reported using at least one-half gram of the drug per week for the previous 6 months. After four days of methamphetamine abstinence, the researchers obtained QEEG recordings of the users’ brains. The scientists also obtained QEEG recordings from healthy nonusers. The researchers found that methamphetamine users had increased delta and theta brainwave activity compared to nonusers.

This study, funded by NIDA, was published in the March 2003 issue of the journal, Clinical Neurophysiology.

More: More About Meth | Methamphetamine FAQs

Source: NIDA NewsScan

August 31, 2008 at 6:59 pm
(1) Melissa says:

I am an ex user. I have been clean for almost 2 years. I used the drug on and off for about 6 years, and hardcore for 2 years before I quit. Everything I read on meth is wrong. They need to get someone who has done it, and lived that lifestyle to write these damn things.

November 22, 2008 at 1:28 pm
(2) MaKendra says:

THANK YOU, Melissa! I agree so much. Some of the crap they write is ridiculous. People with experience, could tell you how it REALLY is.

December 8, 2008 at 8:24 pm
(3) Real World says:

Brain damage for sure … the current and recovering tweekers I now are about half retarded … LOL

January 6, 2009 at 7:08 am
(4) Lara says:

Hi Melissa
I’ve quit meth for 5 months. I took it a gram weekly for several years. I’m struggling to concentrate on my work as a computer programmer. Will things get better or should I just go on Welfare now. I don’t want to lose my job, family or house. I’m doing it by will power now but takes all my effect to keep it together. Much appreciate your input

January 6, 2009 at 7:14 am
(5) Lara says:

P.S. I will never go back there. My friends have been fab and don’t seem to notice any brain damage. I notice my memory is a bit stuffed but it always was as I am so dizzy. I struggle with full on programming, the lighter stuff is ok. Will my concentration come back or is this permanent brain damage.

January 12, 2009 at 1:43 pm
(6) pebbles7904 says:

i am a previous meth addict who had gotten high pretty much every day for about 12 years. have been clean now for almost 5.. i have been suffering from involuntary movements in my hands and feet ever since i quit and had an mri done and found that i had permanent damage to my brain. people talk so lightly about meth and make smarty pant cracks about it, and it really worries me. it is nothing to joke about. i have lost about 70 percent of the function in my limbs and have extreme headaches everyday and my thinking is alwaya fuzzy. To lara, gratz to you keep it up. trust me its not worth the hell you can end up going through the rest of your life.. im going to have to be on sedating meds for the rest of mine just so that i can function and take care of my daughter as much as i can…

February 6, 2009 at 3:21 pm
(7) Tigger says:

I used meth every day for 1 year, a year full of paranoia, sorrow and loneliness.

I’ve been clean for over 4 years now.

I certainly have some damage done: Stretch Marks from gaining weight when I went off meth, brain abnormalities resulting in skull protrusions, the list goes on…

I’m glad I’m off, but I’m so sorry I was so bad to my body for so long.

May 12, 2009 at 12:26 pm
(8) Kel says:

Been clean for 3 yrs both Meth and drinking.
So I thought damaged brain cells would be healed by now. NOPE…. Can anyone relate to me saying my brain is like a seive ( have a bitch of a time retaining information)About 100 yrs ago at age 17 before I started using heavily I had a reading comprehension of a senior in college with a bachleors degree in lit now I feel as dumb as a box of rocks try to read a book and by the time I get to the next page I have forgotten everything I just read. YEAH METH IT MAKE YOU SMERT AN STUFF

June 6, 2009 at 2:13 pm
(9) Cindi says:

I used meth for 18 years and have been clean 4 3 years 3 months. I believe it sure effects your memory and your ability to retain things. I am wondering if long term use will contribute to Alzheimers ? i”m telling you I forget things all the time let alone be able to remember things that have gone on in my life for the past 20 years. I feel horrilble for my 4 grown children,but thank God I can be here for my 11 grandkids!!!

June 15, 2009 at 1:52 am
(10) Kelly P. says:

I ve been clean for 7 months now from using meth almost every day for about 2 yrs. When i was using i was very friendly out going full of life and fun to be around but now im always in a bad mood i hardly leave my house i dont want to be around people i have gain alot of weight so that has me real sad im just not the same person i used to so i dont know what to do.

July 12, 2009 at 11:37 pm
(11) Karen says:

I Get Brain freezes all the time. I Just got ninety days clean and my memory and motor functioning is not good.

July 15, 2009 at 2:04 am
(12) sunshine101 says:

I used meth intravenously every day for a few years. I currently have been clean for 3 years. the side effects from using meth for so long are still with me today, but not as strong. When putting such a dangerous chemical in your body you cant expect to ever be better. you will always have memory problems (sometimes gets better over time) as with tremors, irritability, tooth decay etc. we have damaged parts of our brain and depending on the length of use, also damaged central nervous system.
its just like if you cut yourself deep enough; your body heals most of it but you will always live with the scar and it wont ever look the same again.

September 1, 2009 at 4:48 pm
(13) rachelle says:

Well I think everything they said about meth is true! I used it for a year I have been clean for 2 years. I have loved ones who still use and they are seriously messed up now. this stuff is the devils tool and will destroy you.

September 8, 2009 at 4:40 am
(14) Nine says:

I agree with Melissa that these stupid people who’ve never used shouldn’t do studies. Unless the researchers are geniuses, they never see all the probable causes that can affect studies.
They tested users, and non users. But did they test people who had the same kind of physical problems the meth users had BEFORE they started using? I see a LOT of women who have chronic fatigue, FMS, etc who have started using meth just to be able to do normal everyday activities. I know many women who have used the same amount of meth for the past 5 to 10 years. They’ve never escalated, never changed intake methods, never had any personal or social problems, etc. The only problem they seem to have is that the doctors they went too BEFORE they started using meth either said there was nothing wrong with them, or that they had a psych problem that, for some reason, never seems to show up on any psychological testing.
I have felt for many years now that the continuous low levels of exposure to bug spray, work related chemicals, and plain old pollution is making most of America just sick enough to function moderately well. And what symptoms do these toxins have? Alteration in Theta and Delta waves. Go figure…

September 8, 2009 at 4:56 am
(15) Nine says:

P.S I had three complete tests of my cognitive abilities before I ever started using meth. I took them because I felt I was having trouble with my memory and concentration after a long term exposure to insecticides and oil fire smoke. They found that all my abilities were NORMAL. After I had been using meth for 5 years, I had two more complete tests of my cognitive abilities.They found that all my abilities were NORMAL.
You all would probably test normal now, as well. I think that the tests can only detect catastrophic changes in the brain (trauma), not the problems that arise from disease or drug use. People who have chronic fatigue also have changes in their delta and theta brain waves. Many people have changes in their delta and theta brain waves after they eat a carbohydrate loaded meal. Those brain changes don’t mean anything other than the researchers get a grant to keep doing useless research.

September 11, 2009 at 4:59 pm
(16) Angy says:

I used every day all day to escape the physical pain my ex had put me through and i did that for awhile till i seen the pain i caused to my 2 young kids who didnt have a full time mother in theyre life and from that day on ive been clean for 4 1/2yrs.Now days i cant function as i fully did ,before i could remember the exact place things were now im lucky to remember old friends names or even try to do things that i used to do.In the long run its not worth the pain u put people through or the hell it does to you.And everyone who has stayed clean all them years my hats off to you your an inspiration to the rest of us.

September 28, 2009 at 12:51 am
(17) Rose says:

I’m an ex-user of meth. Was used for a year, wet cold turkey to have a baby and used for another 2 1/2 years after. My first year was tough, I didn’t have the supply that my body and mind craved for…that was a good thing. For the other 2 1/2 years, it was like a buffet…the supply was endless. I had it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and inbetween. I smoked it and did lines. Though I went cold turkey to sober up, I was also depressed and suicidal.
I have been sober for 7 1/2 years and still waiting for some of the effects to fade away. I often catch myself clenching my jaws and sucking in my cheeks until my mouth is totally dry. My toes and my fingers often twitch, especially when I am focused on something like the computer, TV, writing, reading, etc..
I found that I now suffer from memory loss. There are a lot of things from my past that I don’t remember. At first, I thought maybe it is because it wasn’t important, but there are things that I’m often reminded of that I would never want to forget. Some childhood memories…gone. Some memories of my children…gone. Til this day, I still suffer from a bad memory. I forget things easily…my memory is like packed. My reading has slowed down and so has my comprehension and reaction time. I’m often in a daze and I suffer from extreme migraines…something I never experienced before using.
Oh, and my teeth. I thought that after the drug wore off, my teeth would stop decaying. My teeth are weak, sensitive and decaying continues.
I just praise God that I have been given a chance to go sober and though I have to live with the result and consequences…I am grateful for His grace and mercy.
For all of you who have chose to sober up…I wish you well. It is not easy but it is very possible. Don’t let anything get you down and don’t reminisce about your past…it will eat you away. Look forward and keep moving. It took me about 2 years before I was strong enough to handle being sober and run from temptation. Unfortunately, after 7 years, I still have occasional dreams about it and it seems so real. Stay busy and away from those you know use it, has it or can get it. And stay focused on why you quit in the first place.
Meth is the devil’s tool to bring us all down and I have been a victim. It is no joke.
May the LORD strengthen you and carry you through this challenging time of your life.

October 4, 2009 at 3:41 pm
(18) Amber says:

Im the wife of an ex-user. While I dont at all try to claim that “I know how you feel” or that I know how is, I would like to post somthing on the more possitive side. Insperational I hope. My husband used for almost ten years on and off, mostly on, and has been clean now for coming up on 7yrs. He has not had one relapse, and NOBODY ever thought he would go to rehab and get clean. But he did. Sure he suffer’s some after effects but after only making it through the 9th grade and all these years of drug abuse I am happy to report his success. He went to school and became a state certified Electrician graduating with High Honors. He has been able to hold down a job immediatly following recovery. He has built himself up in the work world and a great Husband and father of our two kids. All I can say is, “if he can do it, so can you!”

October 23, 2009 at 3:06 pm
(19) Kathy says:

I have been clean since july of 2000. It was for the 1st few years an uphill continuous battle. I just want to say for those who are only a few months to a couple of yrs clean…hang in there it is worth it to stay clean. The longer and harder you used the longer it will be for things to return to normal (or as near as they will get) like enrgy, feel good feelings (thought mine would never come back and that i would just be unhappy feeling for the rest of my life – but i have great happy feelings now…not all the time and i can still tell the difference a little but noone else can), you will eventually get out of your house and begin to socialize again (only it will take longer to have the courage to make friends or open up for fear of what? anything.), your mental alertness will get sharper, your ability to habdle emotions will improve, and focus and concentration will improve and go back close to normal – but that depends on how much and how often yo used and aslo how potently clean the stuff you used was as to how long this will take….I find that i have motor skill problems…like muscle twitches in head, neck, hands mainly sometimes legs espescially after i have been under extreme stress or fatigue…seems to be worse…there are days that i joke and say wow damn i am not just having a blonde moment my whole damn day has been blonde! lol brain farts here and there but I am functional, I am clean, I am happy (some of this you will have to seek out and actually CHANGE the way you act, react and feel about things in life..how should you feel and kinda let those new feelings develop…you are in reality redevoloping your cognitive skills, motor skills, brain functions like memory and focus may always AT TIMES be a challenge, being happy no one is born with you learn how to be by what makes you happy and how can you ever expect to “feel good or happy” about anything again if you dont open up your senses to the natural healthy things around you, watch more comedy stuff, find the irony in things, laugh instead of beibng angry….it could be worse and if you are a formwer addict you know this beyond a shadow of a doubt…find ways that are of interest to you; do soul searching on who you are and hey if you dont know thats fine even better now you can be whomever you want to be you just teach yourself how to live again and without the meth. I want to just say that I am the 2nd in command over a big department in an important job and have done very well although it took a lot of reaching out to my inner self confidence and reading and researching to be able to attain and keep the position i have and all its responsibilities…there is life after meth…i know i used every all day until passing blacking out for being up for toomany days in a row and would wake up and start over again for 2 years straight…I also was on coke, hash, pot, valium every day and denerol whenever i could get it. Before i used meth i was a frequent weekly user of all the others listed…i have OD’d on coke and had alcohol poisoning yeras before i was ever intoduced to the evil meth madness. I still have problems and some undiagnosed but i know something is wrong..no need to diagnose unless there is actually a cure for brain or nervous system damage as i dont want to be on other drugs until or unless i absolutely have to in order to function daily. I do often wonder how much damamge has been done that i couldnt reverse or repair or re learn…and what that may leave me looking forward to (NOT) in my later years…I am 39 now with 2 kids and a failed marriage which ended b4 the meth use

December 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm
(20) nicole says:

i have been a meth addicted for 6 in a half years for the past 2 years i have been doing meth every single day none stop i learned how to make it about 6 ina half yrs ago and ever since the day i was introduce to this drug my life has taken a complete turn for the worst i have lost 2 kids to children services i cant keep a steady job do to my mental conditions i go threw while on and off the drug i have gotten in so much trouble with the law and now am on probation for 2yrs and have to take drug drops every month which i have only past 1 out of 6 that have been giving to me i am constantly angry and depressed i always think everyone hates me and or out to get me i have so much guilt shame and regret that keeps giving me reason to keep on using i hate myself with my whole heart and soul i am loosing EVERYTHING that was ever good and right in my life i am totally lost and scared to the fullist i am very shocked that i even had the gull to admit this to anyone exspecially on the internet
to all those doing or thinking about doing this drug PLEASE stop now or your life will end up like mine i would give ANYTHING in this world to go back to the day i was introduced to this drug and i would stop myself from ever even considering trying it but i cant and now all i am left with is broken promises and empty dreams and a life not even worth living anymore
thank u all for listening to my story
N.L.R meth addict

December 23, 2009 at 11:00 pm
(21) steve says:

Nicole, whatever you do, please dont give up trying. I shot up every day for 3 years straight and know exactly where you are ( i mean what you’re going thru:-) ). After I hit rock bottom I kept digging. Everyone I know wrote me off. I was always on the verge of going out on a nightmare killing spree. I ended up with a staph infection on my spine that almost paralized me. Thats when I woke up and tried to stop. Sure I fell off the wagon several times, I still dream about it every night, still make the meth faces. In fact the other day at work a guy came up to me and said ” I bet you used to do good dope”. He was an ex-user too. You wouldn’t believe how many ex-users there are out there. Ive been completely clean for over a year now, I have patched things up with my family, friends, and rebuilt most of the bridges that I burned during my meth-fueled insanity days. I still have drastic mood swings and am on meds for bi-polar disorder, but believe me, my quality of life has improved more than any word can say. Everyone that knew me when I was high can’t believe where I am today compared to where I was. I have found peace in the Lord again, and He brings me peace. Nicole, please dont stop trying. You can beat this. I’m going to be praying hard for you

January 8, 2010 at 3:41 pm
(22) Jennifer says:

My recovery experience and what has worked for me…

I stopped using meth in March of 2003. During initial withdrawal and recovery I could not read one sentence. Before meth use, I was an honors graduate with a specialized interest in literature and science. I practiced reading small articles, and eventually could read more and more at a time. Reading the Psalms helped alot, because they were comforting (I did not have a religious background). Though my reading and comprehension has increased significantly over the years, I still have a lack of immediate interest in the subjects that used to hugely interest me, and when I do experience some excitement on any subject or issue it is very short lived (at first there was no interest in anything). I suspect, now, after some recent studies published about the effects of meth on dopamine production in the brain, that this may be a factor. For the first 4 years after I quit, I had extended periods of severe depression, however the duration and intensity of depressive states have decreased over the last few years. During the first 18 mos to two years, I could barely socialize, I was confused alot, I had episodes of extreme anxiety. I chose not to use drugs to treat any diagnosed “disorder” related to these symptoms because before prolonged use of meth, I did not have any of these problems to any unhealthy degree and I did not trust my doctors, who seemed to know next to nothing about the effects of crystal meth. Now I understand that there are addictionologists available, as well as more info on the effects of meth. I’m not really posting to give advise, but if I were going through this today, knowing what I know now, I’d find a doctor who knows more, if I could.

I have gradually gotten better. I concentrated where I could, self-discovery, faith, truth, and addiction recovery. I have had to learn how to focus on the positive, and it is still a challenge, but not as much as in the beginning. I am starting to appreciate and experience some of the goodness of life, like my kids, where in the beginning…I absolutely could not. I had to go through the motions, suffer the depression, and lean very heavily on God (as I learned about Him), family, friends, and support groups (not without disappointments and hurt from others). After almost 7 years clean (from all drugs and alcohol), I am beginning to remember things I didn’t know I’d forgotten; and I am finding out through others that there are more things I have forgotten. Things, like another posted, that I would not have wanted to forget (stories about my kids).

If you haven’t been clean long, give it time and seek help for yourself. I saw on a documentary a couple of years ago that studies are showing it can take up to 2 years to “detox” from meth, and a lack of socializing is one part of that (though isolation can become dangerous, so at least a couple of close friends or confidants may be good to reach out to). If you have no comfort, the psalms worked for me. If you have no family and friends who can be suportive, NA and AA are great programs with people who are very understanding (not everyone, mind you, but the programs aren’t the same as the all the people; just as the every church pereson isn’t the same as the message of the Bible or God; I say this because it can be confusing when people who are suppose to represent recovery and/or God are hurtful and judgemental. It can turn people away).

Some of the hardest things for me to deal with, especially in the beginning of my quit, have been the things I’ve done and/or neglected to do to get high. I lost custody of my son and my dignity. My family had to stop helping, and I became homeless; sleeping and using whomever to get by. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when I first detoxed. Later, it was changed to chronic depression. Now, it’s probably clinical depression. My hope is that later, there will not be depression of any length beyond what “normal” people go through during difficult times. Though I’m finding I’ve forgotten things, I’m finding I’m remembering things I’ve forgotten. So, don’t give up…as someone else said… there is life after meth. I have had my son back for the last several years and have been able to be more and more active in his life, and less self-involved. God, a supportive and imperfectly forgiving family, and the wisdom of a 12 step recovery program have all been a part of that. I’m still trying to figure out what I’ll DO with my life after I’m done raising my son (not long to go now), but there are a few things that have FINALLY caught my interest, though it still wanes, but I have hope.

I agree with the poster who said duration of use and what you used probably makes a difference in recovery experience, also our own idividual vulnerablities to the drug and other indgredients.. My recovery has mostly been cognitive, spiritual, emotional, and practical life cirmcustances (reconnection with others and daily living/functioning)…I know that recovery in these areas can help anyone, maybe especially those who suffer physically. There are many recovering addicts and alcholics who must deal with long term physical consequences of using. I’ve learned alot from those courageous people. If you are one of them, you aren’t alone. Good luck and God bless.

January 29, 2010 at 3:40 am
(23) John Strayer says:

I have been on and off it for 2yrs, Lara I am in a similar technical field and I can understand the dependency this drug creates. The reason being that, let’s say your current IQ is 120.. One huff and you’re probably hovering in the 140-150 Mensa range. I was able to ace technical exams for certification with this. But I found a solution that’s legal and just as effective, Adult add or adhd prescriptions. It’s also meth in a pill form, but is also purer and less toxic to the body and brain. You can try to successfully quit entirely by simply starting with a high dose and then gradually decreasing the mg intake. Eventually, like me you can just stop taking them entirely and just keep a few pills in the medicine cabinet for difficult days or sleepless nights, or long drives etc… Also anyone reading this that is taking this drug I have some tips, first rinse your mouth as often as you can using hydrogen peroxide and brush too. 2nd drink lots of orange juice or anything high in vitamin c “ascorbic acid” this decreases the neuro toxicity of the stuff. 2nd while you are off the stuff drink cranberry juice to reduce damage to your think box. Take Vitamins and supplements especially if you know you won’t be eating for a while. This avoids tooth, bone and muscle decay “but not the fat lol” also not to mention all of the b12,6,3 vitamins that your brain needs in high supply to produce the “high”.. Lastly, this may sound bad but if you find your tolerance really high and your taking a lot of this toxic stuff to get the same effect then I recommend that you get off it for at least a week and take the supplements like I listed before but with a little cannabis so that you become a little more sensitive to it.. And if you are reading but have never used this drug, DON’T DO IT it’s a pain in the ass to find a balance and even if you are a smartass like me and think that you can defeat the drug it’s not worth all of the effort. Not much was gained, I would have been better off not knowing about the stuff. You see I went through hell because of it including but not limited to: getting fired from a prestigious job, losing a woman I planned to mary, dropping out of college… See now I have to start all over and all this life damage nearly caused me to commit suicide from depression, so there you have it.

February 23, 2010 at 2:08 pm
(24) stormy wertz says:

i ve been using meth for 25 years,its damn hard to quit,though i know its devils drug and will destroy u mentally and physcially.meth kills,destroys love,take ur kids,ur home,ur money,ur life.what will it take to make me stop? JAIL OR DEATH??? whats matter with me? ADDICT!

February 28, 2010 at 1:03 am
(25) tnt says:

i used meth heavily for about 6 years, 4 of which i was injecting up to 6 or 7 times a day. after doing 3 years clean i have slowly started slipping back into it by smoking a small amount on the weekends before socialising. i find it really hard to be social and talk to women without it but i know that its leading me back down a very dangerous path that has already cost me nearly everything. before i used meth i never had any problems with social interaction. Nicole i hope your doing better

February 28, 2010 at 11:47 am
(26) annoymous says:

I have never used before but I need advice from someone who has long term. My boyfriend the love of my life used for many years when we met he had been clean for two years we have been together now for two years. He can be moody sometimes one minute he loves me the next he’s not ready for a relationship. He rarely opens up to me and when he does he says he’s not good enough for me which is not true. He says he’s not emotionally cabable of being with me and needs his space but after not talking for a day or so he tells me how much he misses me and that he’s sorry. I guess my question is is this due to long term meth use? If so will it ever change? Also is there anything I can do or say to help him realize how wonderful he really is? Would greatly appreciate some feedback thank you. Congradulations to everyone who has been able to fight the use of this drug don’t ever give up you are very loved.

March 1, 2010 at 5:10 am
(27) tnt says:

as far as my own experience goes this is normal for an ex meth adict. whether it will get better i cant tell you. i have trouble maintaining relationships, get those feelings of being trapped and needing space then feelings of intense lonlieness when im alone for to long. be patient and try not to take it personally when he asks for space. hope ive been some help to you

March 1, 2010 at 6:56 pm
(28) Anonymous says:

Thank you you have been alot of help. I try not to take it personal but sometimes it’s hard not to being that I really have no idea what he’s going through. Talking to people is defiantly helping me understand more and I really appreciate your response thank you again and take care.

March 9, 2010 at 9:45 pm
(29) annonymous says:

my ex husband is in rehab now for meth and this is the first time hes ever been serious about getting clean we divorced over this and we recently got back together after he had 2 very close near death experiences and i went and stayed with him and he stayed clean for 3 weeks before he went to rehab hes getting out in 5wks an dwe have 2 very young sons and im nervous going back into this i know his chances are slim for staying clean but i have never done drugs of any kind only smoked weed a few times when i was a teenager if any one who has used and recovered has any advice on what i can do aside from being proud of him and telling him how thankful i am everyday he is back for me and his children i have no idea what all he has been through i just know i want to keep him clean he is 22 years old and has used daily for the last 3 years we are going on 3 mon being sober and and he says he still craves it and has triggers such as baggies and seeing our child with a pocket ful of batteries …… just trying to learn ways how to help him without asking him directly and making him feel smothered and like i dont trust him because i do believe he can do this

March 19, 2010 at 5:32 pm
(30) shardicles says:

im hurting for real is what i hated the most about dope..just feeling like i need it so much more than anything, anything! Its so different being sober from being on one but its what we all should consider as a real goal to beat addiction. At least we can go for another hobby or something to fill in the activity of using the best of the worse bad habits all-time. I personally have to battle temptations like every other day it seems. I know environment is a key factor to how much contact you get. The less people you hang out with that do the drug will result in reduced usage. Ultimately I just dont enjoy living life with a constant fix all the time. It just isnt necessary for anybody to have to endure ever. If you do unfortunately get exposed to the lifestyle i believe that you now can admit to path to unhappiness unless you admit to yourself that you have a meth issue. An issue that I can honestly say is one that can be overcome with decisions that you make as your live life one day to one week to one month to my hope for everyone to just feel free to live how it should be. Wheww…thaNKS FOR LISTEning :)MrHandleBars@hotmail.com

March 22, 2010 at 2:49 pm
(31) summer says:

ive been clean from meth for 4 years.in the past year ive been having reoccuring episodes of lightheadedness,panic attacks(which im learning tgo manage)anxiety and i always get this weird feeling throughout my body,kinda like i gotta shake it out..i was wondering if this is happening to anyone else whos now sober.alot of people are telling me this my be from my past meth use.i used to smoke sometimes more than a 16th a day.i keep thinking its my heart and stuff but it seems to be all in my head.

March 23, 2010 at 10:22 pm
(32) nikki says:

Hello! My name is Nikki, I’m an addict that has now been clean for 5 years on the 28th of May 2010! I was just released from prison 5 months ago. I learned my lesson the horrible way with this evil drug. I was a “JUNKIE” the scum of the earth-believe me, I thought that was my actual name after a while of being called that. For years I was lookin for somethin to drown all the hurt and pain I experienced in life……The choices I had made for myself and the path my feet tread. I found the clearance in meth. I was a DEMON to say the least, I left my kids, my family, society! Even though I loved them all, it was better to “think” they were better off without me, and I go take another shot.
We seem to NOT miss the water until the well runs dry, when I finally faced the judge, with charges that stem from Aggravated assault, forgery, and dope charges. My life flashed before my eyes-the twinkle of blue lights flashin in my 6-month old daughters eyes as “mom” gets busted with a handful of needles.
Even though I was behind bars I still made a way to get my stuff in the jail. I cried out to whomever to help me, didn’t know who I was crying out to. One morning I woke with the monkey finally off of my back. The most important person to me, My Highest Power released me from the demons within.
I am now back in society, doing really well I must say. I prayed for the Lord to give me direction in life, and believe that my direction is to help people like I used to be. My soul was once lost too, like so many others that are out there today, kids, tryin to get high, teenagers thinking its cool. My heart aches for those that feel the way that I once felt.
I still fight the battle everyday, I cant spell as good as I used to, I still talk one word paragraphs;thinking that people understand what I am sayin! My arm goes numb in an instant, But I am a work in progress thatwill oneday make a difference. One generation at a time. Those of us that have been there and done that need to reach out to those that are stuck right in the middle of it.
I hope this will help someone~ thank u! NIkki <3

April 11, 2010 at 4:59 am
(33) rambo says:

I was with a meth addict for 10 years who had taken it for years prior to that. I didn’t notice him as being mentally slower or brain damaged. Of everything, I noticed him chasing some-thing else, itching of the skin and bad teeth. You had to antagonise him for him to be aggressive. Aggressiveness or being slower of the mind werent issues. Moodswings yes

April 21, 2010 at 2:09 am
(34) dannett says:

To anyone who can give me advise please do. I am a ex meth addict for 10yrs i used meth off an on i got clean for 3yrs an backslides once in jan 2010 know i am warse then ever. Now i have only been clean for 2months my blood pressure is always high my heart rate is always 110 to 126 i have forgetfulness memory loss extrem paranoid i wont drink anything unless i open the drink or make it myselp when i leave my home i set traps with tape because i think someone is coming in an moving things around i even put hidden pieces of tape on my door when i leave does anyone else go through this?

May 7, 2010 at 5:01 am
(35) Doris says:

Hi, I used for 7 years and have been clean for 3. I was admitted to a psych ward for extreme psychosis. 3 years later i still experience hallucinations and get paranoid. That being so, i hold down a job with responsibility and have studied further.

The way i cope is by being completely organised keeping everything exactly in its space so that i dont get confused which can happen quite easily. I do read books but it took some time to focus and absorb what i was reading.

Thank goodness there is spell check because i find that my spelling has deteriorated (and is not getting better). I spell phonetically and that leads to some interesting writing.

I practice a 12 step programme and that has helped me step out of isolation (being too scared to socialise).

I take a handfull of psych meds everyday that helps keep me calm and in reality or i literally fall apart.

As far as i have read the psych symptoms are supposed to leave after the 1st year and i have really been hoping that they would but it looks like my brain damage is here to stay.

Any news on psychosis symptoms going away for good?

June 17, 2010 at 1:08 pm
(36) Erin says:

Im 26 and have been doing hard drugs since 13 or 14. Never took a break except for 9 month pregnancy, and 50 days in rehab cause I wrecked into the 3rd cemetary and plowed 19 stones down. Ok so i flipped over 190 feet and flipped and should have been hurt. NOPE! God loves me. But my meth use began at 15. No big deal. Small school and a real Bad Girl!! injecting since 16 and now that Im 26 my life is pretty calm. Been arrested for all kinds of things but the worst was getting busted selling ALOT of pills. Hard life. Dad didnt care. mom remaries and then after 12 years of hell I finally tell her he has been sexually harrasing and scarring me for years. I know it happened though I think I blocked all the horror, thank god. I do a gram each time and still think I can handle much more. The day I found out I was preg. a older man over amped me and I passed out and almost died. I am not scared of it, I should be. od’d on x three times and it was alot more to it but this is about tweakers!!! So since my last BIG BANG. I cant even function. I mean I can do things but if Im out I cant get outa bed and will take meds to sleep till more is brought to me. Memory in general…non-existent. But I am a poet and words flow free with ease. I cant express my thoughts as of a few weeks ago. I always had adhd and was throwed off anyway but now its throwed away! I am running on fumes now but a ball is about to roll to me tonight…yeah. But I am aware that drugs mess you up!! I am young, sexy, cool as a fan, but i have gotten way smarter with the constant use of this stuff. Less convinced of my self, and dont even try anymore, my house is really bad, I dont care. I feel like I’m shut down and cant ever regain sanity. PARANOID! PICK at my body till I realize its really painful, when I do sleep and dream, I cant tell the difference from dream or reality. But I am not stopping till I want to.

Got WAAAY more to say so email me!!


July 16, 2010 at 10:04 pm
(37) Alexander says:

I used meth for 4 years almost every day, it took me lossing everything that i loved including my children to get off meth. I lost my freedom for another 3 years. Meth took my life away from me for 7 years but I have been clean for 7 years now and my fight is not ever going to be over. I have memory problems,and trust issues. I do or say things without realizing it and there is times when I fall into what I call my own little world were someone will be talking to me and I dont hear a word that they are saying. Will I ever be normal again? I was a very bright person, working at a hospital and going to college to be a RPN before meth.

July 28, 2010 at 8:36 pm
(38) Wife who was about to give up....... says:

Hi everyone…I was reading some of your comments and I have to say I really look up to those of you who had the courage to get clean and stay clean!!! My husband has been Clean & Sober for about 4 years now and I thank God every day for this gift. My husband used for about 12 years off and on. Our family life started to fall apart in 2001 when he began to use more frequently, then in 2003 he started to smoke “ice” and I was left to care for my 3 daughters on my own most of the time because he would disappear a lot. In 2006 he decided that he didn’t want to hear me fight with him anymore about going to rehab so he walked out on his family and he quit his job. This led to the loss of our home and our two cars along with many other material possessions but the worst part of it all was the effect it had on our daughters. Who have always been very close to him and the oldest was such a daddy’s girl that it was heart breaking to hear her cry and beg me to see her daddy. Well I could have handled it a better way, because I waged a war on my husband, his drugs and using buddies.For some reason I was determined to help my husband even though I really hated him for what he had allowed happen to himself and his family. I worked a full time job and even though my kids were little (my youngest was only 1 yrs. old) I would put my kids in my car if my husband wouldn’t come home after work @ 10pm and I would drive around some pretty bad places at 2am to try and find him and many times I did. I remember I raised hell every time I found him and he would be so mad at me we would fight….but I was not going to let him kill himself so I was persistent until the day I was assaulted by him I knew that he was dangerous. It took everything in me to tell him I was done with him and he was not allowed near our kids anymore unless he was clean. I left his fate in Gods hands and I prayed for the strength to go on and raise my kids without him because he was using so heavily he looked very sick all the time. In October 2006 he entered his 3rd recovery program and it was then he decided that he had done enough. The road my husband has traveled is probably one much like any of yours and I remember him telling me he hated me and he wished I would die…then I remember him telling me he felt lie a worthless piece of sh** for what he had said and done. He did and said so many terrible things that I should have left a long time ago but there was something in his eyes and I was able to look past the anger and hate… I saw my husband a human being who needed help. I hear people make comments all the time about “tweakers” and they say they are scum and should be locked up. It’s awful to hear because they are talking about people who are a daughter, son, mother or father and I know some people on drugs commit crimes and they should be dealt with, but if any body reading this is trying to get clean this message is for you…You can do it and it will not be easy but you are worth it!! Your life is just as important and I will pray for you and your family… I will pray that your family has the strength and compassion to stand by you and the knowledge to know when you are being sincere, I will pray for you to seek recovery and find some happiness in this world.

August 3, 2010 at 10:51 am
(39) Blindly Aware says:

Three and a half years ago after completing treatment for Meth addiction I felt pretty good. I exercised, ate healthy, took vitamins even said my prayers. I’d had a fairly significant problem for several years and was on the recovery road. The best part of it all was how so few ever knew about it due to a methodically applied system of denial, deceit and a dual existence. Last year I inexplicably decided that I had enough of a handle on things and “what the hell” a little bit once in awhile isn’t gonna hurt anything. Truth is… any amount of something as eminently damaging as Dope is too much. Truth is… a “little bit” was more than enough to destroy everything I once felt so good about.. And I know better

August 22, 2010 at 6:10 pm
(40) Jeremy says:

@melissa and makendra; I agree one hundred percent. It gets annoying reading some of the things they write.

@Real world; while it definitely can have an effect on some people’s intelligence, some people just dont have any to begin with. You sound like you fit into the latter despite not ever using. I used heavily for 13 years; Roughly 11 years into using I took a legitimate IQ test with my stepfather narrowly beating his score of 128 with a 133.

On the other hand writing is my worst subject so dont judge me by that.
Also to be clear I have been clean about 2 years now, going to school for engineering. I quite on my own simply with the desire to do so. If you are ready to quit then just to it. The first and most important to one you decide you want to is take responsibility. Every failure I hear is about not having the control or will power. You have what you decide to have. All successful people are so because they believe they have the power to do what they need. We all have this power we just have to acknowledge it

September 16, 2010 at 4:42 pm
(41) Daidalos says:

My girlfriend is an ex meth user, she used for 2 1/2 to 3 years, and this page has been a real eye-opener, now I feel I understand why she has difficulty with honesty and trusting me, and I’d like to thank everyone here for helping me understand her better. Good luck to you all, and remember:

“Forfeit guarantees failure.”

September 19, 2010 at 6:42 am
(42) mrhandlebars says:

=°°= I think all you guys are right and only I’m left. @===

September 23, 2010 at 2:28 pm
(43) Tam says:

I was a meth addict for about 12 years, using about a gram a week, give or take. I have been clean now for over 2 years. The drug definitely had a huge effect on my brain. I am struggling right now to think of the words to translate the thoughts in my head. Sometimes it is hard for me to even have a normal converstion without feeling like a complete imbecile. I just can’t think of the words I want to say, my brain feels muddled. I was fairly intelligent when I was young and now I feel like my brain functions at about 50% the level it used to. My memory and ability to concentrate sucks. It is so frustrating. It wasn’t until the last few years of my use that I noticed a significant difference in my brain performance. I hope to God the damage isn’t permanent.

About a week ago I read that drinking green tea repairs damaged brain cells. Since then I have been drinking the crap out of it and will continue to do so for the next few years and hope to God I notice an improvement eventually.

Thanks for sharing your stories. Sometimes its nice to know you aren’t alone. The best of luck to you all.

September 23, 2010 at 3:32 pm
(44) Tam says:

Did I say a gram a week? It was 1/16 ounce a week. Not that it really matters, just wanted to get the facts straight.

September 30, 2010 at 3:23 pm
(45) jeni says:

I don’t know about anyone else but for me I had to have the obsession to use lifted before I even thought about wanting to quit. I get my 90 day chip this coming Monday and I am ecstatic! I can’t believe how long it took me to not want to use anymore. God is the only One who helped me with my addiction. Trust me I have been to the darkest parts of meth addiction and I am trasitioning into what I have always dreamed of. Just remember that there is Hope and it’s never too late to quit. I hope this helps.

October 1, 2010 at 2:44 pm
(46) silvia says:

too all that have done meth thanks for all your infor you havee tought me to never use meth because it truly bad for you im 18 a sinor in high school

October 2, 2010 at 12:25 pm
(47) former user says:

I am a former user or what they call a recovering meth and cocaine user. I have been clean for 8 years now, and I still find it very hard to concentrate on much. My long time boyfriend of these same 8 years is always complaining about how violent I get. I also hear these same comments from my child. I try so hard to not be this way but it is like there is a demon inside that just goes on a rampage when things aren’t going my way or I don’t have anything to help calm me down. I do admit that I was and probably am a violent person both on and off of the drug. I feel that no matter how long I have been clean, I need treatment of some kind especially counseling. I have been thinking about my unforgivable past and have realized that I did all of these drugs to escape a depression that I was already in, and all I did was create more depression. I will be going to seek some counseling soon because now all of this is taking a major toll on my relationship with the man that I love with all of my soul and heart. With his recommendation I started researching the long term effects of meth use. Once I found this I had to write something to get it all off of my chest.

October 6, 2010 at 5:27 pm
(48) Cindy says:

I have done meth for 6 years secretly. Absolutely no one has any idea that i would secretly snort in private. My drug use was extremely organized yet i let other things become disorganized. No one really talks about just how bad this drug affords life to slowly get disorganized. I kept a very clean well-organized house. Initially, meth gave me the energy i needed to work a full-time job, raise 3 kids, 20+ year marriage, well-kept house, great outward grooming/appearance etc. But about 2-3 years into it things started slowly declining. I became somewhat of a hoarder and am just now starting to get a grip on my messes. I have gained weight, i wasnt a hard core user but used every day. Why the weight gain? Everyones different i guess, food is my addiction also. Anyway, im in my second week of being clean. Withdrawal for me was so far alot of hot &cold flashes and sweating. Some anger and moodiness but so far not as bad as i thought.

October 15, 2010 at 3:34 am
(49) STELLA says:

My boyfriend has been clean for 3 1/2 years now. He started smoking marijuana and drinking at the age of 14. Then in his early 30′s started using meth and cocaine for about 3 years. He’s 42 years old now. All the above comments have opened my eyes and help me understand the reason behind his mood swings, and everything else that accompanies the psyche of an ex meth addict. Hoping that everyone stay strong and firm in your committment to a clean, healthy life. Prayer is a powerful tool….God bless you all…

October 16, 2010 at 7:46 pm
(50) Sue says:

I found out today that the man I lived with for nearly five years had previously been a meth user. His ex referred to him as an addict. Can you use it without being addicted anyway? I loved him, perhaps I still do, but our relationship was very difficult. He was moody, quiet, antisocial, disinterested in almost everything. He basically wanted to watch TV, eat, smoke cigs and drink beer. He slept alot. He would fly into violent rages over small things, blamed everything on everybody but himself. He was extremely difficult to please in bed. It took hard work to make him happy. He was extremely self-centered and self-absorbed. He was untrusting and unable to bond with my kids and kept me at an emotional distance. I was convinced he was a narcissist. Perhaps it was meth all along. His ex tells me he was pretty normal before the drugs. Does what I describe sound like he’s been damaged permanently? Thanks for helping

October 17, 2010 at 12:17 pm
(51) mary says:

I have only been clean alitle over 3 months now. i ust meth for 10 years and i have to stay clean or i am going to prison but i have no energy and dont want to do stuff now. do you have any advise how to get energy and want to do stuff again?

October 26, 2010 at 2:03 pm
(52) E says:

im 20 years old and ive been doing meth for 2 years now. my boyfriend has been doing it since he was 11 or 12. I used to do it every single day and last year i went from a healthy 130lbs to 89 lbs in just about 2 months.i still do it occasionally but in between the days i use i have the worst anxiety in the world. I have nightmares every night and dont sleep well at all. I already had bad eyesight to begin with but now its near impossible to see or read things sometimes. i can barely even see what im typing right now.lol.I even have to be careful how hot i set my shower or i’ll just faint. i got a concussion once from fainting and hitting my head on a marble counter once after staying awake for 5 days or so. at this point im pretty tired of doing it but if youve ever been addicted then you know how hard it is to give it up forever. And harder still when you are surrounded by it every single day all hours of the day. At times its hard for me to feel emotions or care.I know my body is going to give out soon if something doesnt change.i can just feel myself dying. sometimes i get so depressed i just lie in bed staring at nothing, i feel past the point of crying. and the loneliness is unbearable i really dont have any friends besides my sister. i feel utterly and completely useless.

November 2, 2010 at 11:50 am
(53) victor medina says:

well i believe that most of the stuff they write about meth abuse on here is fake also cause i use to to meth for about a year then i got locked up so some one whos done meth should be writting this stuff.

November 22, 2010 at 1:30 am
(54) Marilyn says:

Hi there everyone. im really curious.. is it possible for a meth user to work??

November 23, 2010 at 3:50 pm
(55) Kendra says:


November 23, 2010 at 3:58 pm
(56) Kim says:

For those people who are saying meth doesn’t do long term damage to someone, WAKE UP and smell the ANHYDROUS!! Oh, and lay off the foil, maybe then you might be able to think long enough to realize that it does do long term damage!

December 6, 2010 at 1:17 am
(57) nora says:

i’m 20 months clean and sober (yeah cross addicted) and i do worry about the long term effects my meth use is going to have on my health, and there is not much research out there. i was a heavy user and lets face it- the things used to make meth CAN NOT be good for ya. i suffer from short term memory loss and more recently blood pressure problems,i i can only wonder whats next. I find it sad and discouraging that some people think its a joke. to those of u who do u may want to consider educating urself somewhere besides the end of a pipe.

December 11, 2010 at 6:53 pm
(58) j says:

Devil. so much fun to start out with, but it takes over your life. I was on it did it every day, all day, every few hours for a year. Sometimes I would see how long I could inhale for- i could go forever- now i just imagine all the damage every hit I took caused, i can picture hundreds of brain cells dying every time and it makes me sick! After the first month of doing it constantly, instead of talking alot amd socializing, i couldnt really hold converations with people, it was like i was too high, or something. i would go off for hours on a high, tweaking, pretty much in a total crazy tweaked out zone. I starter to stop using after about 9 months when i noticed i was breaking out in huge huge acne, it was really the drugs detoxing from my body. it took about 2 years for my acne to clear up, it was Really bad at first. also after coming down and sleeping constantly, i would binge on candy, i was so addicted, like 6 candy bars a day. after a few months i moved away from the people i knew who did it, and back home, where i was so thankful to have left that situation, and be around good, clean people. the only way ive stayed sober is the fact that im not around ppl who use, and the fear of gettinf horrible acne all over again! i could go on for pages and pages of what my experience was like, but ill just say that it was life changing, i became someone im totally not, and now im sooo grateful i appreciate life so much more now. now that ive been lived in hell and back from it, i can say its the deveil and taking over peoples lives! good luck toeveryone, keep positive ppl and family around!

December 28, 2010 at 12:11 am
(59) jenn says:

I’m not sure why these people are getting mad at the doctors for giving their findings on the effects of meth use..it has nothing to do with whether they have done it or lived that life. Its facts what is found in addicts like us that it effects. I would much rather have a doctor tell me I’m physicly sick from my drug use then from some cracked out dope fen that think they know everything because they’ve lived it..go to a meeting and maybe then you will understand..sinceraly greatful recoverying addict

December 29, 2010 at 2:06 pm
(60) louise says:

I’m a mom of an ex addict, from pot, cocaine to meth. He’s off all but the joy in him is gone. Sure, he was alot of fun while using and when he was younger. I think he’s ADD and seems removed from closeness. You people out there – Is this typical? Drugs AREN’T harmless.

January 2, 2011 at 1:53 am
(61) Tyler says:

I was a “hardcore” meth user from the age of 17 to 20. I have had a few relapses in the last 5 years. It is a hard long road recovering from a heavy long term meth addiction. I have alot of long term effects to my brain, such as, schizophrania, manic behaviors, and memory loss. Oh yes, and of course the discusting METH MOUTH. That is nasty it literally eats your brain and body up. For all of you that are in recovery or trying to get off, GOOD LUCK. It is very hard, but you can get through it. I am now 25 years old, have a lovely wife and beautiful daughter. I have started a nursing career, and received my CNA and CMA certifications.

January 2, 2011 at 4:34 pm
(62) pamt1952 says:

my husband has been clean 20 years after a 25 year meth habit. I wonder if he suffers brain damage. he has had triple bypass heart surgery.mostly i wonder if this causes ADD or ADHD.

January 4, 2011 at 9:17 pm
(63) melody says:

i do believe that meth has severe damaging effects to the brain. i used meth for 3 yrs by shooting up and now and ever since i got clean i can’t function in my daily life. i make numerous stupid mistakes if i don’t think everything through. although it’s hard to do that. i make simple mistakes that no one of my age should make or that i have never made before my use. i used to be so smart and clever. not now. i really regret having used. if only science was advanced enough to find a way to repair the brain from this drugs damaging effects. if there is, sign me up. i hate being a dummy!

January 21, 2011 at 2:02 am
(64) liquid says:

If you were a hard core meth user, it takes around 5-7 years to regain, the body and mind, it takes eons to regain your soul. I was lucky and came back fairly whole, but I know people that only came halfway back. The long-term use effects the brain functions, there is a loss of physical connection, there is a loss in speech, there are noticeable gaps in thought formations.
I was a hard core, skin popping tweak for 8 years. What I read about Meth addiction is a joke, I would agree that a researcher should not write about addiction, people who went down the rabbit hole should be the writers.
Yes there is euphoria in the beginning, then comes the paranoia and bugs under the skin. the tales a user could tell, would peal the skin of any healthy being.
A special message to newbie tweaks;
“It wont be long before you find yourself on your knees, convincing yourself, that sex for a hit, is really just a thank-you to a friend. It wont be long before you justify a theft here and there as long term borrowing. It wont be long before the priority list changes, dealer, smokes, animals, friends, family, self. It wont be long until you sit up at night fretting over who or what you sacrificed for a hit. It wont be long before the shadow people are real. It really does take a long time before family and friends give up on you. it is a very short time before you become a walking skeleton with greasy oily skin and hair- which by the way is because you are to dehydrated and emaciated to retain the natural oils in your body.
Some of the paranoia and self obsession never leaves you.

February 14, 2011 at 2:13 pm
(65) John Smith says:

I used meth for 15years, both injecting and smoking the drug. Have been clean for about a year. I feel fine and I hold down a 150k a year job. Have managed to do so even through the habit. You have to go to work everyday and you have to eat right… Not to mention brushing your teeth.

February 16, 2011 at 11:26 pm
(66) LJ says:

This article has no real information on “abnormalities in the brain” I’m sorry I wasted my time reading the lack of information in the article.

February 18, 2011 at 3:02 am
(67) sarah says:

I have been in love with a meth addict for ten years. I hate this drug. It still haunts my dreams. He acted so different when he was on meth it scared me. I was once the love of his life, and he started doing, and saying terrable things to me. He is sterile, and I know it was meth that done it, and he is only 22 years old. I am still in love with him, and hope he doesnt relasp. You are a fool to do this drug, and hope you never do it. It will cause you to lose everything that you love. It makes you not care how you treat people. I have an eye desease causing me to go blind, and all I want in this life is to be able to see my love happy, and drop this nasty drug. He was so sweet helped me walk, and eat, and he drives me around, and he even shaves my legs. On that meth he told me he hated me, and was glad he couldnt have my children. Some things in life are not meant for us, and that meth is one evil thing. God Bless.

February 22, 2011 at 6:32 pm
(68) Angie D says:

Sarah, I too have been in love with a 55 year old addict that started out with marijuana at the age of 12 then alchohol then cocaine for the next 30 years. He discovered meth and THAT became his “true love”. He even quit drinking because it ruined the high of meth. He is the kindest, most unselfish giving person I have ever met in my life.( WHEN he is NOT using.) He (My love) of more than ten years is a very intelligent man and was actually premed then decided he didn’t want to be a doctor but a biker and bike builder. We have not lived together for more than 2 years but I have never stopped loving and missing him.
He tried online school for addiction counselor last year but relapsed worse than ever. Now, he has been back in class since Jan.3rd. getting all A’s. I Was so proud of him for actually being able to concentrate for more than 5 minutes at a time. Ironically, after 6months clean last week he used. I knew the second I saw him. Hideous gaping wounds all over his face.
After all these years of having a knife shoved into my heart and a slap across the face after finding out he was using again!!! For the first time I dont have any feeling of anger and hurt. I’m finally free of the pain! I have let him go. Last night I dreamed I found him dead and I actually felt relief that it was over.
He is a heavy cigarette smoker and already has one completely blocked artery and a stent in another.His blood pressure is out of control. I have come to the conclusion that he will die using because he has been an addict for so long.
I know that he loves me with most of his heart but “the other woman wins” her name is METH!!!!!!

March 24, 2011 at 2:21 pm
(69) Stacie says:

I used it off and on for a couple years over a decade ago. It completely drained my happiness. It was easy to stop using for me because I never liked it, my boyfriend did. What was not easy to deal with was the anxiety and panic attacks and the complete loss of sprit. I never enjoyed the drug or the people that did it ( I thought the were scum, and they were) so have never once had a craving for it. But, even without the addiction it still robs you of your “spark”. You get it back though in time. You have to start small. Taking joy in buds on trees in the spring. Getting up early to feel the sun rise, long walks with the dog. That kind of thing little by little you gain life and then you look around one day you realize you have a life, that when you laugh you mean it, and things have meaning once again.
I remember clearly the day I quit. I walked into a gas station (which I never did as tweakers stick with tweakers and rarely make public appearances) and was shocked to see snickers bars on the shelf. In only two years time I had isolated my self so far from society that I was under the impression snickers ceased to exist. I looked at all the different things in that gas station, long forgotten in only two years time! I was horrified to be so out of touch with reality. Bits and pieces of the life I did have and SHOULD have SLAMMED in to focus. At that moment I decided it was bull (and it was bull) I was depriving my self of even the simplest things pertaining to a normal lifestyle! They had ceased to exist to me! I completely overlooked EVERYTHING around me. And it was just stupid to me….in that moment of clarity it was just the stupidest thing in the world and I was done. Over time I started to “notice” life again and with out even realizing it I was LIVING again. A different life, a better life. Thank God I saw that candy on that particular day! It seems so silly reading it but honestly THANK YOU GOD.

April 2, 2011 at 9:56 pm
(70) Sandra says:

I noticed many of the users or ex-users on here have denied the truth of what goes on. Many different forms of denial are expected from addicts and users. My husband started to act and react oddly. I didn’t know what was wrong; unaware of his Meth use. He started to spend hundreds of dollars a month on porn even tho we had sex all the time. He became so sure that he was “all that” and better than everyone else that he lost all friends that were not users. I saw my husband and my sons father (now X) go from being a happy, wonderful, caring, physically fit, attractive, intelligent, kind, loving man . . . to a sinister, depressed, manipulating, selfish, weak, ugly, foolish, stench mouthed criminal troll of a man who never speaks to his only child (our son). Both my son and I went through living hell while we were attempting to “save” the man we loved. I had to divorce him after I finally realized that this man was not the same man I had fallen in love with and married years previously. He alienated both sides of our families by thievery, lies, threats and his irrational behaviors towards anything or anyone that did not give him his way. He’s been continually using meth for more than 15 years now. He lives where-ever he can manipulate someone into letting him in. And he always ends up stealing from and taking severe advantage of anyone he is around. He has had nothing for years. It is soooooo sad. I hope that educating people can stop this from happening to other individuals and families!! Meth is a living nightmare!

April 8, 2011 at 3:39 am
(71) Jim says:

i used i cooked i slammed it all in vein….. no good, bad way to go… 15 years solid i just up and quit, tired of dying- free but will never be same again… broken soul , dead heart

April 11, 2011 at 2:23 am
(72) katy says:

I used meth intravenously from the age of 15 to 22. I have been clean and sober now for 30 years. So I’m kinda old. I have gone on to become a therapist and see validity in the article. The only lasting problem I have has is osteoporosis, which I developed way too young. No brain damage so I feel pretty lucky.

April 22, 2011 at 6:06 pm
(73) Jennifer says:

Wow I have done it for about 22 years and have been clean 58 days, snorted it, smoked, shot it up. Wow, I use to do a half gram an hour. Smokin 8 balls a days if not more and could sleep, eat and conduct my day for a long time, something they are not stating. There are “functional” users, but eventually anyone who continues using it, slips up and will become a disfunctional user and end up blowing it. I am now in Drug Court and thank God it took me going to jail and for Drug Court and for the N.A. program or I’d still be using. I can only take it “One day at a time” and I have yet, a long journey! Good luck to you all, Jennifer

April 27, 2011 at 10:34 pm
(74) virgil says:

My meth use started after my cocaine use ended. Meth was a more affordable and attainable drug. I used meth for about 8 months. My use ended when it destroyed my promising career in the military. I went cold-turkey and never looked back. I never entered a drug abuse program of any kind. For me total life transformation and relocation was my solution.

Before use I was a very bright and sociable young man. I have been clean 10+ years now. In this time I have earned a degree in engineering, and I will be finishing my master’s degree in medicine here shortly. The long-term effects are still with me today even though I only used for 8 months. Many childhood memories are gone. I feel alone and disconnected from family and friends. I am extremely paranoid and skeptical, making working with people very difficult. If it wasn’t for my acting classes in college I would never be able to socialize in public.
I have a habit of picking at my skin, and habits of pulling small hairs from my hands when I am bored. I am fairly certain I may have atrial-fib from time to time. I have involuntary vaso-spasms and muscle twitching sometimes. The physical long-term effects are bad. I am sure that the damage to my heart will catch up to me before I am 50. Even though I have been 10+ years sober and seem be on the right track, I may never be emotionally whole again. I may never be able to trust, open-up to, and love others again.
I am sure that if I asked my family today, they would say that my personality changed for the worse. All I can do is hope that the irreversible damage to my brain is not all irreversible, and that neuroplasticity theories can create treatments.
Thanks for listening.

May 21, 2011 at 12:10 pm
(75) b123 says:

I have never been addicted to drugs but have had a father, brother and sister who has been. I went through my stage when i was about 15 and using almost everyday and i seemed to have the easiest time getting my crap together. Didnt even take me a week to not want to do any kind of drug. It is really all in your head if you say you cant then you wont. I have family problems a lot of problems but you should use those to make you stronger. Meth literally not only kills brain cells…it kills families. I am not without my brother because he started off with pot and that got boring. You may think its hard to quit and no one cares but you will think different when you see your family crying over your death.

May 25, 2011 at 1:36 am
(76) kimbooie says:

I am a recovering meth addict. I have been clean for almost 2 years. When I first became clean it was horrible. I was so confused all of the time and I was so paranoid. I have short term memory problems and I still have problems with my speach. I hear some say that it is brain damage and it will never get any better, than others say that it will get better with time.

June 20, 2011 at 4:34 am
(77) JUDE says:

I know a person who lives with their mom who is at least 50 on meth and it is so sad to see an enabler like her run around treating him like a 10 year old boy …he is anorexic and so spun out all he does is work and race home to sit in his car and smoke meth and go have kinky sex with some wierd dude to smoke more meth and work and smoke more meth and spun right out……..I believe it is always what is behind the drug use….and with a parent like his out to lunch where she feels all she need do is ‘fatten him up’..(hasn’t worked in 50 years)…the madness just goes on and on and on…it is so bizarre that anyone would use it all knowing what is actually all in it???!!! Like drink draino same diff… you gotta reallllly hate yourself or be soooo f’d up to believe this will help you in some way??????? NO you still have whatever reason you started doing it in the first palce and then all the fun after effects to deal with too! Good luck to those who quit and are recovering….don’t ever do anything so stupid again!!!!!

June 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm
(78) Ramdj says:

first i’d just like to say that im glad i found this page and that i have found other people like me that suffer from negative mental effects from crystal meth use. I dont know about these people the scientist are studing but, i use to some a gram every couple of hours.
anyway my story is

i used meth off and on for 7 years, after that first couple of months of fun, my life went completly to hell. I was 20 years old, going to college, had a job and a car, an apartment in San Diego, a family who loved and spolied me, and friends that looked up to me. I was a fun loving and confident person, i had chrisma, i could get along with dang near anyone, i was a social butterfly, and i was super smart. Now im 27, ive been rehab 3 times, i’ve been to jail coutless times, ive been to prison,i’ve been homesless most of those 7 years, i’ve had to eat out of a trash cans ,i have a daughter i havent seen since she was 6 months old, and have lost my mind behind this drug ,i was literally retarded when i was using, i still have a hard time keeping a converstation with a person now, i think i last maybe about 5-10mins before things start getting weird, i cannot connect with people like i used to, i cant keep interest in anything for long anymore, i feel how sluggish my brain is, i have forgotten the whole first 4 years of my “use” i have times where my brain will turn off for a couple of hours, It is the devils drug!! Now i have to start over again. i have 6 months clean,i have a job, im still homeless but im going to make it. i dont have the desire to use anymore. (mainly out of fear of losing touch with reality for ever) Im so thankful to GOD for giving me back some of my congnitive resources. and thank you for reading my little story.

July 25, 2011 at 10:35 am
(79) Darian Cohen says:

The best racetam I could recommend would be Pramiracetam, one person has described off a forum post that I read that after 6 months use and gradually heightening the dosage, nearly-eidetic/photographic memory was becoming apparent. Note though that you’ll have to take choline precursors so that you won’t get headaches and nausea from Racetams.

Drinking coffee on a daily basis, and moderate alcohol consumption, as well as a positive perception, are additional factors that can help.

I would recommend combining several of these methods and modalities, and creating a stack of nootropics and nutritive supplements.

Also, start swimming, and improve your lung function and capacity. Better breathing as well as the improvement of vasculatory conditions from adaption to swimming underwater often will definitely help you feel much better. I’m sure you’re aware that exercise can greatly improve your stamina and balance your mood.

You can have your life back. The brain is very resilient as an organ, and is plastic throughout all years of life.

July 26, 2011 at 11:46 am
(80) youch says:

Thanks everyone I’m sitting here in my room after a binge and I realize Im an addict. I have many of the symptoms you all describe and right now my heart hurts and is tight. Lots of sweating and memory loss. Now I have to tell my partner and get help.

Like many of you I was popular, smart ( a masters degree) and successful. The weird thing is I never smoked, drank or tried drugs until I was in my 40′s and for the past four years I use 1-3 times per month. My career is on the edge as is are my relationships. I’m tired depressed and sad. Thanks for you encouragement and the hope that there is some future.

August 4, 2011 at 4:55 am
(81) reyna says:

I started using meth about 8 months ago. Got me away from a breakup and a loss of a good job. Recently went cold turkey almost a month ago. Never in my life would I think this drug could do what it has done to me, or I could see what I have seen in such little time. Being only 21 years old, what could happen? It is truly the devil in disguise. I finally looked at myself and realized how much it has taken a toll on my body, physically and mentally. My family, couldn’t look at me. Friends disappearing. My daughter being confused. I’m a 3 year Medical Assistant and a aspiring Registered Nurse.. My goals and my daughter keep me heading towards success, even though I am at the weakest point in my life. The first week I was experiencing heavy fatigue, irritability. After I could actually sleep normally, the cravings started. I am now experiencing insomnia, headaches, migraines almost everyday, memory loss, finding words to finish sentences is difficult (mind you I was once able to write doctors orders, reports, etc.) Plain & simple.. I feel dumb and weak.. I thank God for opening my eyes before it got any worse. It is definitely not worth the pain I put myself & others through.

August 17, 2011 at 9:01 pm
(82) talia says:

I am not a user but someone very close to me has been clean for 8 months. He does seem to be very spacey and forgetful still. To get his attention you have to say his name over and over sometimes and then half the time he isn’t really listening to what was just said or what just happened. After research, I’ve learned that it is the increased amount of delta and theta…if that is the post effects then how does something that increases dopemines also slow your brain afterwards?

September 3, 2011 at 8:20 pm
(83) sally says:

My bf is a Meth addict now im craving it. I actually had taken some from him. What to do? Do I tell him? Does he notice some is missing? Please help

September 9, 2011 at 12:27 am
(84) LuEleison says:

Is there such a thing as social snorting?

September 15, 2011 at 10:59 am
(85) linda says:

My mother was hemorrhaging when I was born from over use of beanies-whites-speed. So I was pretty much born addicted. It was my 12th birthday when my mom gave me crank for my B-day present because she had nothing else. by the time I was 16 I was dealing and a daily user with my mom and siblings. I am the baby of 5. I was married at 17 and continued to use daily and deal.Now I am 37 years old and still a daily user sleeping every night.
I cut my mom out of my life for the past 4 years because that is all she was concerned about was if i had any dope. and i couldn’t stand to see her all tweaked out My mother is now 75 and after about 35 to 40 years of using speed in all forms she is now in a nursing home she last used 3 months ago. She had congestive heart failure on July 14th and has had complications every since The very 1st day i went to c her she ended up in ICU she was in a rehab nursing home for a month and came home for 4 days and then she went lethargic i thought she was dying back to ICU. come to find out her sodium level was almost depleted and she was very dehydrated. she has had a stroke and now that i finally have my mom shes getting ready to die on me.
And daily i battle with using and killing myself a little more each day yet i still keep using. I’m afraid of what will happen when she passes I get extremely suicidal when I’m coming down and with out her what will i have to live for. to wake up each day being an addict doing to myself what my mom has done to herself. It seems like i cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel just the end. and I’m very scared. If you are using please stop now it effects every major organ in your body and your brain chemistry for ever. i feel like a hypocrite.

September 26, 2011 at 3:53 am
(86) Angel says:

I found this site while looking for the side effects of long term Meth use. My husband is an addict, has been for years, but is continually getting worse. I have never used, and never will, but I am trying to get him to read all of your stories, to help him realise how bad it is, and what it is doing to him. His paranoia and behavior are beyond out of control. I don’t know what to do or how to help him. One day he’ll agree that he needs to quit, and the next day it’s F U B***h there’s nothing wrong with me. He does not realize that he is paranoid, although I try to point this out, it just always makes him more agressive and in denial. He is constantly thinking someone is following us, or that something is wrong with the truck, when it’s just fine. His best friend is 9 months sober off of meth, and she will hardly ever even talk to him, because he’s still using. We have lost our truck, he’s lost his job, and we are about to lose our house also, because of his constant attitude screaming and raging over nothing. Our roommates want out, and there is no way we can afford to live alone with just me working 3 nights a week. I am at my wits end, and don’t know what to do. Any helpful advice? It would be much appreciated.

October 9, 2011 at 2:43 am
(87) Lena says:

There is never a day when I don’t think about meth. I was not into it that long. I started using a little bit when I was sixteen. But it didn’t last. So I only used about five times that year. Then the year after that, I didn’t use. But last year I reunited with it again. I only did it once a weekend. It was too much for me to handle. I would cry during the week days. When I breathed I still felt there was smoke in my mouth. My body was sore. I was afraid to let go of the drug. But I had to stop. So I did. It was fear that stopped me from using and also my art. I couldn’t end my senior year without having a new destination to go to. Now, I am somewhere and I feel as if it isn’t real. Kansas City Art Institute is where I am going to college right now. It’s nice and I am always busy with Foundations, so I do not have time to go to any late parties or do anything. Which I do not mind.(Rather be working out then socializing). But anyways, right it is tough for me to let my mind wonder off because I am at that stage where I thinking about meth more and more. I knew would happen some time in my life again. But when I do think about it, I tell myself about the after effects; come downs, crying, a sore body. Then that makes me not want to use. But knowing about the ones that I love who are using again, makes me wish that I could use again. I do not know. I held my own hand through it and got past it. Right now, I am curious to know if I might have any of the mood swings from it. My moods have been weird. I could be fine one moment, but if one little thing bothers me could completely turn the tables around. But maybe that’s what happens when you’re going to college, have assignments to do, feel the pressure pressing against you. I really suck at explaining things,so that’s why some things may be off. Anyways, I feel this rage inside of me and I am questioning if it is because my moods have been screwed up by using.

November 13, 2011 at 12:00 am
(88) Daisy says:

I am engaged to a gentleman who was a long term meth user. He has been clean for about 7 years. He came into my life about the same time he quit using, I believe. I am not a drug user. The first year was nothing short of bizzare. Seven years later, we are still dealing, or perhaps realing a better term form the mental health issues as a result of over 20 years of meth use. In short it is a miracle he is even alive. Long term, only God’s grace can get us through what seems to inevitably point to increasing mental instability, unless a miracle is in store for my dear. My guy suffers from multiple anti-social symptoms. I never really know what to expect, not only from day to day, but from phone call to phone call. Agitated, raging, angry to mild, gentle and loving, and anythign in between. I now observe cognitive issues. He has bouts with extreme anxiety and depression. He is in his mid 50s and may be unable to work much longer. At this time he is only able to work for about 2-3 months a year. This year was the worst I have seen him. Perhaps the hardest thing is not the possible inevitable – what can you do? More, it is feeling like I have no one to talk with who understands ‘the life’ of the one who loves them. My guy is okay as long as he know we are ok. Other than tht he is kind of in his own world.

January 8, 2012 at 12:19 am
(89) candice says:

After reading all of this I now under stand why after 10 years off and on clean now 2 years and I am 55 . My mind is not the same and I have no idea if I will ever be so sad how I have just mad a miss out of my life now . Now I am on the road to who knows it hard very hard every day just to think but I will never go back to this drug it is the devil yes it is its like that song by Tracy Chapman Change you just wake up and go man can not do this can not live like this I thank god every day now and cut the people from my life who you think are your friend but we who have been there know there are no friends in the dope game and I thank the people who were my true friends who said ok she back and off the stuff and who are my friends and sad the ones who were my friends who will not talk with me anymore good I do understand

January 18, 2012 at 3:17 pm
(90) Lori says:

I was a hard core meth addict for 31 years; I now have almost seven years clean. The first couple years after getting clean, were my best years in recovery, I started using when I was 11, I was a homeless teen living on the streets at 14, pregnant at 16. I survived violent rapes, an assault that almost killed me, I survived only after having lifesaving emergence brain surgery. I survived 3 years of brutal domestic violence. I lost my only child when she was five yrs old. I was also in and out of jail most of my life. I got clean while I was locked up and going to drug rehab. After I got out I got a good job went to a lot of meetings, worked the 12-steps. At 4 months clean I bought my first brand new vehicle. A 2005 Chevy Trail Blazer. At 8 months clean I was able to rent my own apartment. It was the first time I had my own place. I had a writing assignment in drug rehab to write my life story, which I spent the next three years after I got out of rehab turning into a book. I am now a published author. My book is titled TRAPpED Memoirs of an EX-METH addict and her RECOVERY out of the insanity of it all. The last few years I have had a lot of trouble with my memory and concentration, I also have heart disease and lung disease depression and PTSD all as a direct result of my drug addiction. I like any site that educates people about drug addiction and the long and short term affects it has on the addict.

January 22, 2012 at 3:10 pm
(91) concerned mom says:

My daughter became a Heroin addict at age 23. Since her new friend had recently inherited a large sum of money, they both used Heroin until the money ran out.

After rehab, I brought her to live with my husband and I. She weighed about 95 LBs and was very sick. Soon, her personality changed. She began acting paranoid and I finnally realized she was injecting Meth. I sent her back to live in Santa Rosa where she had spent her childhood. I supported her for eight years. She had a couple of jobs but for some reason could not keep a normal life going. She probably has a bipolar disorder. Recently, I purchased a motor home for her to live in at a park in CA. At that time she was a diabetic, weighed, 280lbs, was addicted to methadone, and alcohol. I did not suspect that she would go back to crystal meth. Last november, she was arrested after trying to break into a hospital, while dulsional. She has been in jail, in the psych ward ever since. She is exhibiting paranoia, and delusions. While in jail, she has withdrawn from Crystal meth, alcohol, and Methadone. She refuses medication and has missed several hearings as she has been declared incompetent by the Doctor at the jail. I can’t imagine what hell she has gone through during withdrawal in jail. I lost touch with her about a year ago when her phone was stolen. Her father, my ex husband has taken on her case and is trying to keep her in jail long enough for her to get the drugs out of her system.
I have read that Meth causes the dopamine receptors to shut down and don’t come back for two years. It takes six months or so for the delusions to subside. Green tea is supposed to help restore the receptors. I believe that there are nutrients, nootropics like piracetum and ginko bilopa. Her dad may do that for her. It seems so hopeless. Maybe she will eventually get help.

January 23, 2012 at 11:16 pm
(92) derek says:

i used a gram a day or more for almost 7 years andi have been clean for almost 7 yrs, and i still find concetrating on certain things difficult and my coping skills arent really what i feel they should be but i will make it …. you will to ifyou really want to

January 25, 2012 at 11:22 pm
(93) Rockslider says:

Im 51 and started meth at 28. Im six months clean and things couldn’t be better.
I wont lie I had some outragous times with friends but theres a price to pay as any long time user will tell you in health, personal, monetary, and freedom. No one gets off free no matter who you are you pay!
In the 80s when I started you knew what it was made of and could count on the high you would get. Now days ita game of chance with the skull and crossbones.
Of all the things I tried meth was my favorite and still is. Thats why I wont use it.
You kids out there who think you know METH forget it your wasting money and chancing you life everytime.
There are no real meth cooks because theres no real METH the dont care what they use to make it and thats scary.

February 6, 2012 at 1:36 pm
(94) william says:

i smoked G for 8 years and been clean for 2 , its like nothing really matters anymore, cant reamber what it was like to be sober , cant get a job because of my criminal background ,i sometime think it would be better to go back to smoking and lurping , cause that is just what i know how to do.

February 13, 2012 at 3:56 pm
(95) Megan says:

After almost nearly 5 years of constant meth use (3 yrs intravenous), this year I will be 6 years completely free of meth. I now struggle with failing memory, food intolerance and worst of all chronic fatigue syndrome. I can’t even jog a mile without being bedridden for days or weeks following.
It definitely messes you up and as a 25 year old, young female it has ruined my body, messed up my health and stolen and the active future I want!

March 11, 2012 at 1:55 am
(96) DP says:

I never used drugs, thank God for that, i lived thru hell every day, i am on the other side, i lost my sons to drug abuse my husband as well. I am watching my husband die from Meth usage, brain loss, forgetfullness, violence, blame games, twitches, seizures, leg anxiety, paranoid all the time, he uses every day, i think he is shooting up as well. i dont want to give up on him< i manage to get help for my sons and they are doing well. My husband has destroyed so much of my life, stoled for drugs, traffic tickets and jail time for those traffic tickets, he never stays home and is chasing the bag all the time. He has choked me and this time he broke my hand by slamming a door on me. He is so out of controlling he never has anything to do with his family. this is not the man i met and married, i have lost him. u Dont know what drug abuse is until u r living thru it< all i do is pray for change.

May 20, 2012 at 12:47 am
(97) linda says:

I have used since i was 12 years old i am 38 now. last week i had an MRI done on my brain but i had used that morning. it seems that the findings are not that bad. kinda hard for me to understand of course but i tried to read the imaging results. I do not know any other way of life my childhood was taken by meth i got it for my 12th birthday present and have used ever since. i take it with my morning medications. it is the only way i function and my functioning has gone down hill even using. i have breast cancer and it was the only way i was able to go to my radiation treatments 5 days a week for 6 1/2 weeks. so Monday i have to tell my cancer doctor i use meth. I’m so very worried and really would rather die than go thru quitting. it would be much easier and I’m just a complete waste of air. I’ve tried to kill myself numerous times driving off cliff and rolling my car 5 times overdosing hanging cutting wrists. i guess the guy upstairs has more misery and punishment for me to endure and wont let me rest. All i need is for my social security to come thru then ill have income and can stop selling and stop using if that don’t happen i don’t know what to do. i just wish it would all come to an end already. sorry for the wahh wahhh signed to die would be bliss

May 23, 2012 at 6:57 am
(98) Me. says:

Just sat here reading all the comments posted on this site, what an amazingly complex way to die…I feel sad that all of you still using make the choice again and again to use…

I think the point most are missing here is that simply – this drug will ruin your life and kill you early…The question you have to ask yourself is – Do you want to die? If the answer is no then take the first step – choose not to die – then do the research on what it takes to get off the stuff…

For anyone – anyone to say that they have a handle on it – your reality is already blurred….yes you might still have a braincell left but go get your blood pressure checked – get a blood enzyme test – have your liver checked – let alone neuron damage….Heart, Lungs, liver, kidneys, cancer etc.etc… your superman/supergirl personality just might get a kick in the butt and might just give you a quick taste of reality….Its up to you to decide what to do with that glimpse of reality – you really wont have many chances……

If you really do choose death over life – fair enough but please – please try not to take people with you – your life is yours to do with what you choose but making others addicts to keep you company in your slow suicide is just sinister…..

You know I never met a junkie who ever admitted they were one – “I’m just a regular user”! They have every excuse under the sun to warrant the addiction – and some of them are genius! end of the day you’re a junkie – so make the choice – life (or what you call life after addiction) or simply – death……There isnt a middle ground here….Your life will be different…You will be a recovering junkie with all the crap that goes with it….but youll still be alive and there are people out there that will be happy about that…I dont think theres one mother out there that likes talking to their sons or daughters gravestone……

May 29, 2012 at 1:03 pm
(99) Laurie says:

I was addicted to meth for about 3-4 years… I smoked it, snorted it and shot it…. I got sober for about 4 years and was doing great! I got my families respect back! I got my true friends back, and my fiancée has been sobet off meth the entire time as well! It took changing my number and loosing communication with all the people that do meth for me to get sober! I replaced my addiction with school! I am not addicted to getting A’s!!! I got my AAS in radiology…. I am an xray tech, but have not gotten a job, because I have decided I have a passion for being a nurse! I got accepted into an RN nursing program and am still finishing up classes for my bachelors degree! I never stopped drinking, as I like to think I can be a social drinker since my family and friends all are… Lately I got in contact with this girl that still uses, thinking I could help her stop! Now, when I get drunk I tell myself it is a good idea to call her! The last month I have been smoking meth occasionally, but I can see it is becoming to routine… I have worked so hard in school and life, and I can’t let meth ruin my life again! I am 25 and have to much to live for… My problem is I have trouble saying no! I am really mad at myself. Most of all I hate lying to my fiancée and family and friends…. It makes me feel aweful!!! This ends now! I am better than this! I am smart, to smart to keep this habit alive!!!!!

May 31, 2012 at 6:42 pm
(100) kristin says:

i was a meth user for 1 yr with a ex boyfriend of mine and now im paying the price! i had meth mouth! when i first did meth i had no clue what it was at the time..it was all my x wanted to get a quick fix getting high. now a yr later i feel good, been sober for a 1 yr, and getting my dentures bc i feel emberressed with no teeth! slowly watched my teeth disapear the enamul on them rot away nerves exposed nasty smelling breath 24-7 it was bad. i tried everything to make my rotton teeth go away, but here now i did the research i didnt know i had meth mouth. now its 2012 i go to my pcd kinda emberresing when they say oh i see you were on meth omfg i lost it! how emberressing. now im doing whats right for me and my family i have a lil three yr old nephew who loves me!

July 2, 2012 at 7:35 pm
(101) get help now says:

Best advice I have! Don’t do it and don’t fool yourself you can control meth. It will kill every part of your body and soul. Save yourself

July 11, 2012 at 9:11 pm
(102) Hailey says:

Well my boyfriend i kno has done it off and on since he was young and sometimes he will think people are writing with chapstick or laundry soap because u can see it in the black light and he thinks im screwing everyone while people are writing secret messages about it
and im with him all day and have been literaly havent spent a day away from eachother in 2years he says hes not crazy but theres somthin wrong any one wanna help me out ive got him to stop but he still gets all weird every now and againm

July 12, 2012 at 3:14 pm
(103) Redbomb says:

Hello been reading all of the post from way back till now. The only one I want to adress is the woman that has a degree coming and messing with her scank friends again, I know how hard it is to say no and to not feel sorry for them but you can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help thereselves.
Now I will tell you why I know. I lost my kids, been in jail, lost my friends and family. Everything was gone and I was on the streets.
So 7 years later I am getting my Associates in Science, and my Pathology Degree, I have a house paid for and a new truck and me and my daughter are trying to fix our relationship. My son has two kids but he won’t talk to me or let me see them,
I am thankful for everything that I have accomplished.
I still socially drink and if youv’e read this you know my mind still jumps but I am taking natural drugs to striaghten that out.
Don’t fool yourself you’ll never be normal, you made that choice long ago. But you, me , all of us we can be happy and we can try…….. thats all we have. But if you try you will be amazed at what you can accomplish!!! Good luck to all of you!!!

July 13, 2012 at 7:12 pm
(104) Kris says:

I used for roughly 20 years and I used heavily. The way you use, the amount of time you used and the quantity you used should all be factors. They really need to do some long term residual effect study’s. I have been clean from meth for 9years and everything for four so Im just now discovering the damage that 20 years of meth use has done. They get some of the stuff they say right but some isn’t.

July 13, 2012 at 7:16 pm
(105) Kris says:

I think we have issues to begin with and thats why we self medicate in the first freakin place.

July 19, 2012 at 8:45 am
(106) Jenn says:

I have been on dope for 8 years. Im 23 being shootting it since i was 17. The shit has really tooken over my life all these years. Just consantly running from all the bull ive been through. I think everyone that has ever done meth has had a tramatic experience in there life. I regret doing it i grew up way to fast and last self respect for myself and hadno self esteem even though everyone went on about how beautiful i was. Im now 6 months pregnant and think this babygirl is nothing short of miracle GOD has given me. I think him everyday for her and am going to stay
sober wth his help. This is the longest ive been sober. And everything does happen for a reason. Just pray to him.?

July 27, 2012 at 9:42 am
(107) skylar says:

hi everybody i came across this site trying to fiqure out if i should give up on y boyfriend who is a meth user. i love him but he never spends time with me or the kids he never talks to me anymore and he got to where he wont even sleep in bed with me i miss the perohe was before he got really bad.he is a really good person but i dont kow how to take the pain anymore should i give up or keep trying

August 1, 2012 at 4:40 pm
(108) LondonA1 says:

Hi there

I used for a year (not sure if I was an addict – total use was 17 times) smoked and injected 3 times. I had one bad experience and said no more. Im not sure if this has happened to anyone but I read so much about meth that I had a kinda breakdown for a week. Felt detached from the world – bad thoughts would stick and I would run to hospital saying I had psychosis and was a rapist. They calmed me down and said when one is psychotic you wouldnt know – but that was one hell of a week.

One things I wish people would stop doing is placing a judgement on people who have taken meth a different way to themselves.

I injected 3 times and smoked. However, why is it more acceptable for someone who has snorted it. Lets say they snorted it for 5 years – surely they have done more damage than if someone injected it just once. To me meth is meth whatever way you take it you have taken it!

I hate the rubbish which says you stop experiencing pleasure – I know when I smell freshly mowed grass in early summer thats a wonderful feeling.

August 5, 2012 at 11:42 pm
(109) Sam says:

I used for 2 yrs IV for 1 of those 2. A minimum of a gram a day. Quitting was a process that took stages. I was a cook. I was as addicted to making my dope as I was to getting high. Told on many occasions that the devil had cursed me twice over. I see that easily now.
Arrested for manufacturing and placed into an alternative to prison program I still had to make the choice.
I went to rehab twice, jail 3 times and what? I had to break the habbit of cooking then the habbit of using. I moved to a recovery house. Adapted NA principlals into my life. Changed people, places and playgrounds. Replaced the dope with m&m’s. Talk about the crap that gets my thinking twisted. Realized God really has a plan for me and I don’t have to know what it is.
I have 1 year & 2 months clean now. I don’t have to have m&m’s when I get the cravings because I realize now its a choice and i’m better than anything the dope can lie to me about.
I do have some twitches and sinus problems now. Short term memory was already shot so can’t blame the dope. Can’t blame anyone but myself the choices I made bad can’t describe them. But I won’t wallow in shame or selfpitty thats what got me in so much misery.
When your ready you can recover its all up to you

August 20, 2012 at 11:10 am
(110) whit says:

I am 19 years old, I started using meth when I was 16, I took it every way I could (mostly needles), just over a gram a day, I went to rehab last november and relapsed right after getting out. I finally hit rock bottom 6 months and 3 days ago when I overdosed and was in the local ICU for 6 days, the doctors told me that I was the worst case of a living meth overdose they have ever seen in the hospital. I havent used since the day i went into the emergency room in feb. Everyday I deal with memory loss, I have bi-polar disorder ( but was diagnosed before I started using), I twitch, and lose focus very easily, I also itch really bad in the areas that I used to shoot up in. any insight on that? I’m afraid that it might be staph.
I lost cars, my house, family, friends, jobs, and my college grant.
Now I am back in college (paying for it myself), I am paying off a car, have a steady job, new friends (good friends), am attending AA, NA, and MA meetings regularly, and have gained some trust back from my family.
Although I still deal with everyday struggles, LIFE is so good! I was tired of dying, and chose to start living.

To the user who still suffers:: urges are still there, but it gets easier, take it one day at a time, change (people, places, and things), you never have to suffer again
always remember where you come from, because if you don’t, you’re very likely to go back.
God Bless

August 21, 2012 at 1:13 am
(111) Ex gf of ex user says:

I just broke up with my bf of 8 yrs. when i met him he had been clean for 2 yrs. i was a good 17 yr old who thought his past made him interesting and a fighter/ bad boy lol. But over the yrs he def had his crazy moments! I started calling him drjeckle and mr hyde. I dunno if it was the side effects of the drugs but he was def paranoid and had crazy violent tantrums… Never hit me but would punch holes in the wall and pick fights at bars. Anyways i finally grew out of dealing with the immaturity. Reading all this i think a part if it was def his past drug abuse. And ya it does effect memory… He followed me to med school.. But failed out… But then again could be the weed he smoked everyday. Also i think research studies are hard to do cuz so many users are on diff drugs. Like after quitting he became obssessed with gaining muscle and getting weight back on.. For all i know he was on steroids and had roid rage. Watever… Crazy to think something in his past affected 8 yrs of my life. I was engaged to him and loved him but im glad im not dealing with a crazy person anymore.

August 25, 2012 at 3:50 pm
(112) tyler says:

i love meth i use every day and always wil

August 31, 2012 at 9:12 am
(113) Sarah says:

Im Sarah im 19 and id say in the past four months ive snorted meth at least 3 times.Not a consistent user very new.My first time using was with my boyfriend now of 6 months.He used to snort heroin before he met me but has been clean for a good 2 or 3 years..He wanted to get high one day n we didnt hav nothing but the meth he was selling.So we both decided to try a line… Didnt work for me that time and was very painful…until 2 months later I did it with some friends it was awsome.but im scared im already or will be hooked! Advice please!

September 2, 2012 at 12:47 pm
(114) Csndy says:

Sarah Stay away from meth. It will take your soul and destroy your life. I am telling by personal experience. METH is the devil drug

September 5, 2012 at 11:18 pm
(115) Andrew says:

Sarah as a Csndy says do not ever use it again, love life and your family before it’s too late and in vain. was only novelty. should not spend your youth for useless things

September 9, 2012 at 11:26 pm
(116) kristin says:

My name is Kristin i am 25 years old and 6 months clean from meth. I starting using meth when i was 15 and shooting it at 17. This drug has taken so much from me, actually it never gave me the chance to experience my childhood. My mind is still so jobbled from using i cant find the words to type this comment.. i wonder if i will ever be right again. My thoughts never come together, my words never find matches, and it seems like as the days go on i loose hope. Maybe this is only a bad week for me.. i know with positive thinking and prayer i can get through this. I have to make it.. I dont want to go back to that horrible lifestyle. Please pray for me, I am very scared.

September 9, 2012 at 11:26 pm
(117) kristin says:

My name is Kristin i am 25 years old and 6 months clean from meth. I starting using meth when i was 15 and shooting it at 17. This drug has taken so much from me, actually it never gave me the chance to experience my childhood. My mind is still so jobbled from using i cant find the words to type this comment.. i wonder if i will ever be right again. My thoughts never come together, my words never find matches, and it seems like as the days go on i loose hope. Maybe this is only a bad week for me.. i know with positive thinking and prayer i can get through this. I have to make it.. I dont want to go back to that horrible lifestyle. Please pray for me, I am very scared.

September 10, 2012 at 6:20 pm
(118) Candy says:

Kristin stay away from meth. As time goes by your mental and physical capacity will get better. Take it one day @ a time.

September 13, 2012 at 11:24 pm
(119) Kristelline says:

Hi Kristen,

I have always thought, “boy am I glad I was in my thirties when I started my 10-year daily meth usage.” I can see how a young person like yourself must be struggling with sobriety and the damages caused by meth.

I was in treatment 18 mos. in-house. There I learned the importance of withdrawal under a doctors care. It has been 6 years now since I was released. I am still under a doctors care.

My suggestion to you is to look into the possibility of prescription psyche medications. I have been on the antidepressant “Zoloft” since before I left treatment and later started combining it with “Abilify”. I have not and do not suffer from the things you described you are dealing with. Find a medication that works for YOU. Good Luck!

Oh, one more thing…it is not a bad thing to take this type of medication under a doctors care if it helps you in your daily life. I have yet to pay a cent for this. Go to your local mental health center and they will help you.

September 30, 2012 at 8:08 am
(120) Steven says:

Hi I am 41, and I have been smoking dope and shooting up speed and ice, for about 18 years. I am a Athiest so I cant pray to a higher being, that I’m quite sure isnt there. My wife recently walked out with our 2 young kids, i have always been self employed and worked hard, and I have nothing. My kids love me, and thats about it. I am so anti social now that the thought of talking to anyone about anything makes me sick. On the gear ,I to am the best Dad, the best at quoting on jobs and getting them, a great thinker and beaming with spirit and energy. The last six months I ve stopped working and depleted my last financial reserves, (on gear that is). I ve pushed everyone out of my life, cause Ive always thought that Im better, and what the heck do they no. I cant bear to be just a man that kisses his wife and kids every morning to go to work straight, than come home straight and do it again. Not that I have a wife anymore anyway. I always thought I didnt have a problem. I cant open up to people, Its a genetic problem I think. Recently Ive contemplated departing from the Earth. What should a anti social messed up Junkie like me do?

October 2, 2012 at 11:02 pm
(121) Candy says:

Steven. Try to win your wife and kids back.

October 10, 2012 at 11:27 pm
(122) Kristelline says:

Hi Steven,

It sounds like you are in a real predicament. I appreciate your honesty and you know yourself pretty well. In reading what you wrote, it sounds like most of your problems are directly due to your addiction. Your descriptions are classic addict characteristics including the things that are happening in your life right now. It seems to me that every addiction comes to a point when it just doesn’t work any more, although 18 years is a very long time to live the way you have, I can’t help but think that you have reached the point when it just doesn’t work anymore. Do you think that you could live possibly without dope or speed? I am 49 and have always done them too, but I went five years without and I still think it was better in a lot of ways. You could get those people back into your life and it may be easier to open up to people then. idk maybe…

October 11, 2012 at 9:56 pm
(123) shelli says:


October 16, 2012 at 11:33 pm
(124) tanyA says:

I’m an ex user I’ve been clean for7 years and when i started i was just Snorting it then i started smoking it and i suffer from as you’ll call it brain farts and forgetallot sometimes it’s hard to spell and stuff like that and my best friend is still using going on9 yrs now and is one mean and hateful person we used to be so close he won’t even talk to menow neither will my ex that got me on the stuff in the first place and has been using must as long I’m just afraid it’s to late for them i can’t even reach out to them to show them i love and miss them it makes me sad one is on. the lamb from the police and my ex is with someone who is on the stuff to so there no hope there but the one on the run has the chance because he’ll be locked up and have to get clean anyone can get clean they just gotta want to and congrats too the ones who have and prayers to the ones that are still sick on this drug the only thing it’s taken from me is my best friend and the love of my life so I’ve be lucky i have trust issues as well and trouble with my brain not wanting to shutdown which i got meds for that i don’t have anger problems thank god and still have high blood pressure that i didn’t have before and yes this drug is the devil and all Thursday wants to try it please don’t it not worth all the problems that comes with it there should be more info on this drug and what it really does and what you have to gain by doing it and that’s nothing good luck to all

October 25, 2012 at 4:42 pm
(125) Cat says:

I agree with the above people I wished there was more information on on the devil drug meth., and why you have to have it. I have a dear friend that I love and care about that’s on it. and say’s to me that he is not ready to quit, that was so hard for me to take, and want to know more about it. He is a good person and a wonderful dad but this is more improtant now to him then anything else in his life, and I just don’t get it…. I would like to know why and what is eating inside of him for wanting this drug. I wish I could make it go away but I can not and it’s hard for me to stand by and she his life pass by him… If you out there have any pointers for me I would be appreicatived to any information… A friend in need,

October 30, 2012 at 3:30 am
(126) Victoria says:

I used meth about 2 years started when I was 18 I stopped when I was 20 and I’m 22 now , I’m so thankful I got scared out of my mind when I couldn’t fall asleep after about the 7th day of being up! I don’t remember more than half the things that happened the 2 years I was using .. I feel like I’m bi polar now , I feel like I’m not the same person I used to be , I do know that I was definitely not me while I was on it. Sometimes I still think bout meth … I will never go back to it idk of its just part of being a ex user . Does anyone else still have mood swings after being clean longer that 2 yrs?

November 12, 2012 at 1:51 pm
(127) Still crazy after all these years! says:

I was a meth addict for 25 years of my 41 years on this planet. I used iv for the last two years of my addiction. Sadly (but not at the time a drug dealers GF) Now sober for a year and 1/2 starting with hospitals, institutions, rehabs, 1/2 way houses, Meds for severe mental health issues… ETC. Everyone with this kind of addiction knows what I’m talking about!

My mental health is better, my teeth suffered, I have health problems that went undiagnosed for the “super man” effects from meth Ie my thyroid is shot, things like that. Ive gained 45 lbs. From 100 to 145 on a 4’5” frame of what I thought was some sexy stuff! lol You know what I’m talking about!

Thankfully my children still support me with love and hope, and pride, (they never let me go) I was a functional addict up until the last 2 years after they were grown children and I started shooting up with an abundant supply. I am truly blessed they never let me go!

NOW All the help through I AM sober but cant move on. I sit here in a room at my mom and dads house unable to reintroduce myself to “real life” I cant move on. I thought the rewards from becoming sober would find me with a happy ever after, yet here I sit and rot. Truth be told I was better off on meth! Love, art, life, etc.

Now NOTHING except what the only thing that keeps me sober. “Mom were so proud of you!” The word’s I sometimes wish I never heard! I’m unable to work, I’m anti social, and I hide from romantic relationships for the fear. I know myself. saboteur #1 I have an addictive personality! I really dont know the point or what I’m really reaching for but any insight to whats going on in my dark, lonely, island mind would be appreciated!

Is it just to soon to expect total wellness? How do I move on! Excuse the expression but I’m STILL stuck on stupid! (in a different way) Anyone? Someone to save me?

November 15, 2012 at 4:27 am
(128) Brittany says:

I started at twenty three, my boyfriend introduced it to me. Didn’t know he was an addict. Three yrs of using the devil went by my boyfriend and I have been clean for three months now. When I met him I had a job car was in school to b a nurse plenty of friends. My life was great that drug is horrible. I lost everything to it and I’m not the same either. My looks also have changed. Please if u read this stay away from it. It will destroy u and everything around u.

November 17, 2012 at 4:42 am
(129) Kristelline says:

I agree with you Brittany. If you’ve never tried it…run! I once had a girl friend who had never tried it. I was heavy into it. She was my neighbor and her son was the same age as mine. That’s how we got to know each other. Well, one day she decided she wanted to try it. I told her, “I’m sorry, but if you’ve never tried it, you won’t get it from me.”

I started using it at age 31 (1993). I was a partier, but my new boy friend really got me hooked on it. The first year was great. However, at the end of that first year I wanted him gone. We’ve been together 19 years. Turns out he is a sociopath (please check out this site: lovefraud.com). Every time he tried to walk out on me because he spent all of my money, I went after him – stupid. What I’m trying to say is that sometimes the people around you play a big part and we can’t see it. Anyway, I was in inpatient rehab for 18 months from 2006-2007. Four women to a room with two bunkbeds. I got kicked out because of an angry outburst and, thankfully, they let me back in 30 days later. I moved ten (10) times the first year when I got out. Then, I was clean for three years on psych medication. Now I am in a studio apartment (still taking the same medication) and I was bored and called you know who. He hooked me up no problem. I just don’t ever feel like doing anything, being around anyone. It makes it tolerable. Now, I just can’t be around the people I called my friends anymore.
(to be cont’d)

November 17, 2012 at 4:44 am
(130) kristelline says:

I am trying to quit. I have googled information about the brain. I think that is where the answer lies. I go through periods where I feel like s*!#t and sleep all the time. I do remember never feeling like s*!#t when I was clean. I read the reason I still do it after that is because the brain associates the bad with the good and so we continue to use. It is a mystery and there isn’t much information about it (meth). I don’t even think there is any in the stuff these days, but then what is it?

P.S. I don’t exhibit any signs of medical problems from it yet other than my teeth.

December 1, 2012 at 7:41 pm
(131) Robbie says:

I’ve been smoking meth for 3 years, probably almost 300$ worth everyday?
I did alot with my brain when i was using, i mean i learned so much when i was on meth. when i stopped using I have forgotten almost everything i learned,

stay away from drugs its a terrible way to live and if you cant get away from it at least do something badass like build a dirtbike
:D cheerio

you can break the depression you just have to get off your butt and go make some new friends and try not to be alone

December 10, 2012 at 10:21 pm
(132) Rehlein says:

I did.meth. Straight.for.a year. And ive been clean for almost.two. And for.these two.years I have.had bizzare dreams everynight. Im pretty sure its because.of the.drug but im.curious on if anyone else.has experienced.it.

December 14, 2012 at 8:37 pm
(133) jim says:

i injected meth heavily for at least 8 years dont care to remember exactly. quit around 5 years ago. went back to uni to do degree in IT as couldnt finish my old engineering degree. My brain is better than the past but i still feel like a baby, its hard to pick things up fast and things sometimes are just beyond me. i still have paranoia, mostly about people. IT is really difficult to keep a job because i think they think i think …. but i push through it. The way it has affected me the most is my communication skills, i cant hold conversations, its hard for everyday life, i am a dullard but i am very happy when at home with my wife and kid.

@Rehlein yeah those dreams are normal but go away eventually and come back randomly. A few people i know get the same thing as i use to.

lying down in bed you think you wake up feeling scared you try to scream you try to move but you cant until finally you manage to wake up out of the dream but really youre still asleep, you eventually wake up and realize nothing was real you didnt try to move or scream. etc

December 18, 2012 at 8:13 pm
(134) Kristelline says:

I like being alone and I like being with people, too, just no drama. I wanted to share about my bizarre dreams…they only last about 3-4 weeks when I’m down. They seem so real. Recently, twice I woke myself up. Once in my dream I got mad at someone (idk who) and grabbed her/his collar and I was really grabbing my blankets and messed up my bed. The other time I was trying to get a girl’s attention because I had her cat for some reason (no idea who she was). She was way across this huge room and I tried to get her attention. I woke up when I decided her name was “Kim”. Anyway, I yelled it really loud. My neighbors could have heard me. That’s all.

January 5, 2013 at 7:17 pm
(135) Lori says:

I have used meth for 20 years and am NOT a drooling, brainless idjit. I have no problems with brain function. have just completed school, and Im 57 years old. You are right, if you aint lived it dont spout it. Cause you dont know about it.

January 15, 2013 at 11:48 am
(136) RenèA. says:

Hi, I only been using meth for probably a good 2 months stretched in a period of 2 years. I recently had a ct scan of my brain because I am leaving to the Military. I was wondering if the meth would show up in the X-ray. And if the meth would effect my capabilities in the Military? I know it was stupid of me to ever try it… I hung out with the wrong crowd in high school…. I do notice at times I have a short temper, I sleep a lot about 12 hours a day, I am lazy and don’t want to do anything. I sometimes have trouble talking. Meth is a hella crazy drug. You may think its cool but no it can destroy your life… After this line it will be my last time.

January 25, 2013 at 5:45 pm
(137) debra says:

I am a ex wife of a drug user. Started out just weekend fun,then turned into a everyday thing. staying out all nite, cheating ,lying.I have left this man because I cannot take anymore lies are do not ever believe anything he says. the last straw was physical abuse. I am now afraid to be alone with him.He says he is not doing it anymore, but we non users all know the signs.He is always mad, depressed,or sleeping.I feel sorry for him , he has lost family, jobs and home is next. He is the only one who can make his self better.We cannot make them quit. If losing your wife,and family is not enough ,what is? I hate this drug, any drug that can cause this pain. All any of us can do is hope and pray for them.But we cannot stay and be abused by them either. So please leave before something bad happens.

January 25, 2013 at 9:49 pm
(138) Candy says:

Debra. You are so correct, my husband is in the same situation. He has lost everything, but his job because he belongs to an union. Crystal meth is a soul killer. It will change that person you love. What is so sad is that you could not change it until they decide that they want to stop using It is the hardest most painful thing that I have experienced, because the person that you love is no longer there, they have become someone else.

January 26, 2013 at 3:15 am
(139) Jesse says:

Hi users, non-users, spouses to users and everyone else effected by meth.
This is my first time openly writing about my experience with meth in the end I hope I have helped atleast one of you.
I started using meth at the early age of 15, I had to grow up fast in my home. Surviving Is essential thus I had a bunch of freedom and started dating a guy who changes my life forever. He had a problem with meth, I being just plain inexperienced with helping an addict, thought I could help him stop if I did it with him. in theory to show how one could stop by decreasing usage to ease the anxiety of “this is the last time”. After two years, I was horrid; depleted my resources (little that I had being “on my own” at the age of 14) and had no one to aid in my recovery. The things I did, people I hurt and the shame I begat on myself and family was the lowest of the low. My past is simply that, the past. My recovery was an on going battle, I have been clean for 9 years. I won’t go back, can’t go back. I am fearful to go back, I won’t lie. I know that if I use just once that snowball will begin and I will lose everything. Obviously I still think about it, some smells will trigger a memory of those dark times but every day that I get up, I don’t have that need to use. I am disgusted by the effects of meth, I don’t want the company of drug users near me. So yes, it is possible to quit. I jumped drugs while trying to quit, and for me that did not work. The only thing that worked was cold turkey. I don’t remember the withdrawl and I thank god for that. I am not with the guy that changed my life forever, I have forgave myself for my actions in the past, made peace with the people that matters most to me. Live for today, yesterday is in the past, your future is tomorrow. Peace to all

February 13, 2013 at 12:22 am
(140) ica says:

Is it possible to physically withdraw from Meth after not using for 3 years? I’m in a substance abuse course and we watched a video on Meth. Since then, I have been tingly through my face, neck, and scalp like I’m coming down.
If that’s the reason, why would it affect me this way? Wtf. Help?

February 15, 2013 at 3:15 am
(141) Jimmy says:

I’m 26 and roughly 6 months clean. I wasted 3 years of my life snorting an average of 1.75 grams of meth every month. It might not seem like a lot but it wasn’t your average coke bottle meth. Very potent would be an understatement.

Ironic isn’t it? The same depression I so desperately tried to drown out with synthetic euphoria is now one of the things I miss the most. So far, the closest I’ve been able to get to melancholy is more of a static indifference at best.

I was never really gifted when it came to conversing with others, but at least they were able to understand me. After my torrid affair with meth, I find it really difficult to convey my thoughts into words without sounding like some sort of prattling infant. If it’s short and sweet, I’m fine; however, anything longer then 10 mins requires a lot of concentration on my part.

I did quite well in school and math came easy to me. At 18 I received an IQ score of 134 in a test that used the Stanford-Binet scale. I realize that IQ tests aren’t exactly reliable.

Will I ever feel emotions with the same intensity as I did before using meth? It’s hard for me to deal with the regret on a daily basis without wanting to off myself.

I want the life that I already destroyed back.
Stupid meth paradox.

February 21, 2013 at 2:17 am
(142) Lee says:

I was a meth addict for 7 years. I’ve been clean for over 3 years now. I was a daily user, I smoked atleast 3 times a day. I can honestly say that I dont suffer from any side affects. I am as normal as can be and my life has been totaly restored. All I wanna say to all the addicts out there is that God safed and more than restored my life. What he did for me, I know he can do for you. All you need to do is surrender yourself to God and he will change your life forever. I thank God for saving my soul. Dont give up guys. May God Bless you all

March 18, 2013 at 3:37 pm
(143) Shell says:

Hi everyone, firstly I want to say congrats to all of you that have kicked this devil drug meth and all the best to you that are trying to quit.. Don’t ever give up trying! I my self am not a drug user and never have been but my older sister is a meth addict.. She started using about 2 years ago at the age of 32 and in this short time she has lost her husband, her house, her Job, her car and her 2 beautiful kids.. She went from 120 kilos to 35 kilos at her lightest.. Towards the end of her drug using she really looked like a junkie, this devil drug had changed her completely, she was a different person in every way.. The last 6 months she has been in and out of rehab but has finally done it on her own and with the help of our family. She is in regular contact with her kids which is wonderful but she has no friends and it is still a long road ahead, I applaud her for getting clean but it has fried her brain, she is still not the same sister I knew but hopefully that changes as time goes on.. And she now gets sever abdominal pain where she has been hospitalized?? They never give a real answer as to why but most probably because the meth has affected her organs.. Mostly the liver.. It’s just awful and it’s a nightmare for loved ones.. Sometimes I find it hard to support her because she has dissapointed and lied to me so much in the past.. If there are any siblings out there going through a similar experience, I would love to get some advice or feedback and if there are any users who would like to comment, I would appreciate that also :)

March 23, 2013 at 9:17 am
(144) monsta says:

im monique im 19. i first started using when i was 14. Meth is addictive and has caused me so much grief over the years . i thought i was over my addiction but when its put in front of me i cant resist it. i definetly dont do it as much as i used to but i would say im still meth addictive. i get paranoid and get suicidal thoughts not just when im coming down when im in a bad mood too. meth is such a bad drug i wish it didnt exist i have lost the connection i used to have with my family and some of my friends see me as a different person. just thinking about the drug depresses me . i used to be a completly different person. i wish there was a cure

April 6, 2013 at 1:49 am
(145) bear says:

I have been using IV since I was.17. I’m 21 this month and right now my hands look dead, my memory is horrible, when last year I could list every internal disease ever. Now I’m always pissed, then I’m happy. I can’t cry or pee. I have lost almost all my friends for it, plus a routine shower two says ago almost killed me , I turned white as a ghost, my heart went crazy, my whole body went numb and I begged God to as s me. I still sat awake almost all night thinking I was seriously dead.and didn’t know it. This drug, will make you the happiest, most outgoing funny, caring guy/girl ever, then one day, you realize you aren’t ABLE to care, or laugh, or cry, or be a human being period. I love the high, but now…. I just want to feel again, and to fix the damage I have done, and let get done. anyone wanting this drug, I say if you like pain, destroying your body,mind,soul,emotional state and family/friends go ahead. cause I hate this life and I hate that baggie of hell. God help those who are where I’m at, I know I sure need it.

April 7, 2013 at 5:42 pm
(146) Nate says:

I’m 17, I started using at 16, I did drugs prior to using meth. I used lightly to moderately the first few months. When summer came I was doing it all day everyday. I experienced intense psychosis, psychiatrist claimed I was permanently psychotic. I was put in a psychiatric hospital on my last run. Also, I was hospitalized 2 more times with intervals of me being out of the hospital sober. The psychosis came back when I had no drug use. I gotten drug tested each time I was admitted. Every doctor found it very interesting that I experienced the type of psychosis without using. I was literally depressed and laying in my bed 24/7 for a month. Walking stiff, slurred speech, weak, feeling really brainless, and etc. I was put on medication, I voluntarily stopped it a couple weeks ago. I’ve been sober for about a year and I’d say I’m 87% normal. I have great grades. I hvnt touched drugs. My doctor explained to me that I have young age as an advantage. Many adults, he has told me, are stuck in a depressed state. Since I’m young I healed up pretty quick. I have gained a lot of weight along with stretch marks. I read books and can retain the information pretty well. This drug is really intense I was delusional in m psychosis and I wa in a completely different state of mind. I thank god everyday. For those of you quitting. After about 6-8 months you will be able to comprehend information. That’s what I’ve experience. I’ve been sober since July 14.

May 26, 2013 at 1:41 am
(147) Emily says:

I was a meth addict for 21 years. I have been clean for a year and a half now. I can tell you from doing it every single day for that long, to going back to living a “normal life” is not easy, but it is possible. Everything you have had taken away, you can get back. It takes work. But, I did it. I’m starting a new life and I couldn’t ask for more.

May 31, 2013 at 11:03 pm
(148) Michelle says:

I used daily for two “runs” – each of them 2 years each. The 1st time I was fine after, but the second time within 7 months of starting daily using again I had a brain aneurysm that luckily was discovered before it burst. I almost died. So when they say it causes “functional abnormalities in the brain” Imma gonna believe it. Sober 2 years, 2 months, and 6 days now. Whoo hoo!

June 2, 2013 at 1:58 am
(149) jennysayscheese says:

Bear- I did not start using meth thru the needle, but that’s how I ended it. I came to truely love- became addicted, even, to using that needle. A year’s time on the IV high really made it difficult to get clean and stay clean. What you describe sounds terrible, and you know your addiction as a hold on you. But you sound like you have desire, and you have hope- and those are two very powerful feelings! You can get better! It is not an easy road but it is a great one- the rediscovery of your own self is amazing. You are worth saving!
I recommend that you find someone that doesn’t take any b.s and will help you. Sometimes it can be an almost perfect stranger, but all it takes is your own desire and often the help of someone else who can organize everything and help you get into rehab. I did not go to rehab, but I wanted to. I believe that if I had, my subsequent months and year would have been much easier. Still, you can do it without rehab. Go to meetings, reach out to others. Know that it will be a really crappy time, but compared to what has already happened, you can handle it. I have faith in you! I am 2.5 years clean now and back in college (at 34!) studying to become a drug and alcohol therapist. I still think about getting high, but my future and my life now is more important than ever going back to getting high. The thought of it makes me uncomfortable and scared.

June 2, 2013 at 1:33 pm
(150) WTF says:

This is to Mr. I’ve done meth a total of 17 times (post 108) and the comment about never being able to feel pleasure again….you never lost any pleasure sensors in your entire 17 times using to understand that someone who has used for 20 years has lost nearly all the pleasure sensors in their brain and the only way for them to feel pleasure at all even during sex is to get high. You only have so many “feel good” sensors in your brain and when you do meth you kill them, you dont produce more or thats what research tells us, recently there have been some talk of drugs or vitamins that help to promote growth of said sensors. Be thankful you dont have to experience what its like to not even feel like having sex if you cant get high.

June 11, 2013 at 12:20 pm
(151) Andrea says:

Never forget the first time I used meth, it was the first time I felt really happy. First time I felt comfortable in my own skin, free to speak whatever was on my mind. Uninhibited. It was a lie, I thought life was supposed to be happy and comfortable and fun, it’s not. Meth allowed me to escape any and every uncomfortable feeling that life brought. That is not living, pain is part of life, and to really live you must be willing to feel. I basically missed 13 years of my life, some of it I don’t remember, some of it seems to have happened to someone else because I wasn’t really there. I guess my definition of happy has changed, and I would rather feel the pain than nothing at all. 4 years clean, 4 years really alive.

June 12, 2013 at 5:37 am
(152) Kimberly says:

I am 40 yrs old…have been doing meth since I was 17…stopped for my 4 pregnancies…last 3 years almost pretty mich on a daily basis…i am going to psych for bipolar/depression but ive had that issue since i was in middle school and there is a history of it and suicde attempts that happened way bedore i started using…I have been told by most people that I look like a woman in my late 20′s….never been in trouble with the law…I have had my job now for well over 3 years…raised/raising my kids…I have attended college…I eat and sleep regularly…my concern is what will be there aftermath when I quit…which August 17th is my target date…I’m going to a conference for our union for 5 days beginning August 17rh…to prepare for this I have started to go to the gym regularly and started eating healthier…why will happen when I stop? There has to be some kind of aftermath to prepare for…won’t be cold sweats for I never had…

June 17, 2013 at 9:41 pm
(153) jfar36 says:

been there done it all. i used heavy for about 9 years, lost my teeth severe weight loss the whole 9 yards. laned in and out of jail so much they practicaly held me a cell. well the last time in i lost my father, my wife split and i decided it was time to make a change. one month to the day of my release i enrolled into college landed a associates degree and amist all my pain im living quite well, and if your wondering nver once in 3 years have i relapsed. its been hard i basicaly have no friends from my past and get hated more on for being clean than if i was on a murder trial. but trust me if you set gaols you can acheive them. i wish you all luck, and if your looking for a miriacle phrase there isnit one you just have to do it, and work harder forget your past and strive for the future. good luck and god bless

June 21, 2013 at 9:09 pm
(154) Depressed state says:

I have read so many of the comments on this topic. I have been clean now for a little more than 5 years. I was a on and off user of meth for about 15years. I worked and kept my marriage together but just barely. It took me getting a cancer diagnosis and losing my little brother also to cancer all within a 3 month period to quit. I did not quit right away it was about 2 years after losing my brother that I came out of the shock and thought I better live my life the best I can because I have a life and my brother does not. When I quit I was tired beyond anything known to me for over a year. The tiredness was not the cancer as I had it under control. I hid my drug use from my family, friends and everyone. Quitting was tough but I did it cold turkey and never fell off the wagon. That I am proud of. I have thought for a long time and I believe that the kind of cancer I have was triggered from my use of meth. The tiredness I felt when I quit is much less now but never completely gone and depression has been a constant for years now. Even on medication I have a problem feeling joy. I have so much I am thankful for, a son, home and loving family but excitement, joy etc… are never very strong in feeling. I think back to before my being a meth addict , prior to age 29. I had energy, I had joy and fun in most all I did. I was disciplined and a doer, starting things and finishing them. I have trouble with all of that now. I believe I have permenently done damage to my brain and am deficient in dopamine as it somehow shut down because it was meth dependent. I believe more serious studies need to be done. I think the long term damage is far greater than we know.

June 23, 2013 at 7:09 am
(155) kmp says:

lol its funny everyone says they “USED” to do meth instead of admitting they currently use

June 24, 2013 at 9:41 am
(156) elizabethd says:

Ive been using since i was 15 im 26 now i was off for two years when i had my daughter im not an everyday user but im a functioning addict noone knows i am i want to stop i cry sometimes bcuz i dont want to be like this im starting to feel sideeffects my teeth my breathing and throat my memory isnt as good as before i dont want to do this anymore

June 29, 2013 at 10:18 pm
(157) Treasha Sours says:

My name is Treasha Nicole Sours. I have been addicted to meth since the early age, of 13. I dropped out of school about that age and; I have seen and been through a lot. I lived in dope houses and I can honestly say, that in the past 5 years I have been sitting at rock bottom, as a full blown doper. Heroin, meth, and alcohol were my disease. I put my self through college. I was still using while i was attending my courses. My degree I’m working towards is Criminal Justice/ law enforcement. It’s been a struggle and I’m still struggling. I have about 1. 1/2 years of college under my belt and I’m currently 7 monthes clean, since my last relapse…. Some days are harder than others. But, you gotta go through something ta get some where. I will keep pressing forward and I will also continue to pray, for my fellow tweekers, who are still suffering in their addiction. ” I’m no better than the next doper, just floating in recovery”.

July 6, 2013 at 8:16 pm
(158) jose says:

I never wanted to try the drug but it with sprayed on my weed and it drove me crazy i was running around thinking i was a prophet ended up in the crazy house when i came out lil by lil i became more antisocial now im to the point i cant talk with noone my mind is always on blanl i cry almost everyday if you doing this drug please stop and let me know someone if i could get cured i feel dume slow no memory whats so ever someone help

July 6, 2013 at 9:04 pm
(159) Nikki says:

I used meth everyday for 7 years- I quit cold turkey the day I found I was pregnant with my daughter so I have been meth free for 8 years. I actually am 100% sober for 8 years.
I’m 30 years old, I have no health issues, I have had the same job for 6 years and I have never and will never relapse. It’s a CHOICE people. You either make it or you don’t. I’m so sick of hearing how HARD it is to quit! QUIT FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF AND AND BLAMING YOUR LIFE AND YOUR CHOICES ON OTHER PEOPLE/THINGS AND JUST QUIT. It really is that easy. MIND OVER MATTER. We as humans have much more power than we think.
and in case you are wondering yes, I used A LOT of meth. I snorted it, smoked it, slammed it, and dated a guy who cooked it. So yeah, I was in deep. My love for my child and my sense of responsibility for the life I was bringing into the world was all it took. I knew what I needed to do and I did it. YOU CAN TOO, if YOU really WANT to.

July 26, 2013 at 7:27 am
(160) Damion says:

Wow this list of comments goes on for miles. Meth is an epidemic, its destroying families nation wide in mass numbers. I have been using for 15 years and now only have 10 days clean but even 10 days of sobriety I can tell a world of difference in my thought process. My best advice is that its never to late to break away, as long as you have a brain you still have a chance to save what’s left of it.

July 31, 2013 at 3:49 am
(161) j says:

Okay lets forget about what it does to you brain or the addict part about. it what us it that make guys and apparently some women so obsessed with sex

August 2, 2013 at 1:00 pm
(162) our_brains_are_drained says:

used from 19-26 on and off but usually on, had 3 months break once because couldn’t get it, then i stopped on my own for 5 months, but couldn’t resist hitting it again. I’m turning 27 in a month and i have been off meth for 7 months this time with help from a 12 step program and i can say its a lot easier with the help of the people in this program. Don’t see my old friends anymore that use or drink. have totally changed my life this time quitting i decided i had to stay away from all drugs. so for now its easier to not see my old mates. I sometimes feel down. I sometimes feel good when I am doing things and organized things.The last week I have just been in my bed watching movies, no motivation, no zest. I want to get back on my feet again. But even though I’m feeling bad the last week at least I’m not on that stuff. The high is awesome but every time I have it now it just isn’t the same and it hasn’t been worth the come down for a long time too. Not mentioning the relationships I have stuffed up, and especially the one with myself my soul. Slowly slowly everything is getting back into place the longer I stay off I know my brain is healing, so is my soul and all that too. I know if I went to score now it would ruin everything and leave me like it always does, in a bottomless pit that’s so dark that u cant even see the light anymore, and even when it is shining right in front of you from loved ones trying to help u all u can see is darkness, devil meth u drained our brains and our souls, and what about all the psychosis times too. Just isn’t worth it. Thanks everyone for your stories.

August 5, 2013 at 8:39 pm
(163) our_brains_are_drained says:

(161) j says:

Okay lets forget about what it does to you brain or the addict part about. it what us it that make guys and apparently some women so obsessed with sex

yeh it made me pretty obsessed with sex but i was already a little bit anyway :P

August 27, 2013 at 11:45 pm
(164) Sarah says:

My husband is a former meth addict. He got started in high school- 1995ish- and finally landed in jail around 2004 after his mom finally called the police when he almost murdered his father in their home while tweaking on meth. While in jail, he was clean for almost a year when he finally realized what he had done to his life and family, repented and had a truly life-altering change of heart. He became a different person and this normal, well-adjusted person was who I met and fell in love with in 2009. He told me about his past and drug use, jail etc on our third date but it has taken me years to really understand that some of his endearing flaws are really the direct result of what this drug did to him. He has terrible memory loss and cognitive functioning problems that I suspect will never go away. God wants to give hope to any of you who are struggling with addiction to know that there is a way out! Someone very close to him was a lawyer and he was able to strike a deal to clear the drug conviction from his permanent record with an agreement to go to a state run rehab program. He went on to graduate from college with a degree as an Engineer, has a great job and we have a beautiful home. One of the worst part of the meth addiction was the intense sexual and pornography addiction that went with it, and I think this is really where God did the biggest miracle. I was a virgin when we married in 2011 and have to say that he has been healed in so many way and we have a very pure marriage with an amazing, monogamous sex life. We are part of a loving church and despite my being diagnosed with a brain tumor this year and having surgery to have it removed we are now trying to have a baby. There IS life after meth and God can heal and redeem ANYONE!

September 21, 2013 at 5:55 pm
(165) adamlunz says:

There’s a poem out there called I am meth. That is what made me realize the pain it caused me. I lost my music career. My wife family jobs house vehicles etc. Its the devils takeover. Try it once it may let you go do it twice it owns the soul. After 3 1/2 years clean my bones hurt so bad. I became a v e g a n and feel lots better. A raw food diet of fruits and veggies does wonders. Na and Aa and people like u guys helped me because you understand. Never have a closed mind. Quick to listen and slow to speak. The days of the Cia and the Fbi crashing my door in are past me now just for today. Now lets all give back were alive and free. I love you all. The dopeless hope dealer.

September 22, 2013 at 1:04 pm
(166) Karen says:

Please I need help !!! I have a 25 yr old daughter,who has been shooting meth since she was 17 ,she has been in jail and rehab and nothing makes her stop??? the state put her in rehab for 6 months 1 yr ago.. she lives with me and stays in her room all the time.he has no friends or guy friends. one minute she can be nice and the next minute I here her talking and them screaming at someone in her room but no one is in there with her. when I try and tell her its all in her head,she looks at me and says sure mom you know thereis and i must be on there side, she thinks people come in her room at night and cut her hair!!!! but she’s not useing… is she messed up for the rest of her life !!! please someone help me… thank you

September 26, 2013 at 9:41 pm
(167) Ex Meth User says:

Reading these comments makes me so sad and tearful…Firstly because I’m experiencing nervous system symptoms like the twitching, memory loss. Sometimes I can’t remember 5 minutes ago. I wish I would have never been introduced to Meth. I did Meth every Friday and Saturday for 10 yrs. Sunday was my recooperating day so I could force myself to go to work on Monday. Every weekend for 10 yrs…And I would still feel bad throughout the week, a lot of times I would call in, I shut myself up in my when I would do it and leave my kids in the house as if they didn’t have a mom. I feel so guilty because I wasn’t there for them and didn’t spend time with them like I should have because I was so worried about getting high for the weekend. God forgive me…I cry just thinking about the sorry mom that I was. Then 1 day, I decided I wanted to go back to school to be a nurse and I had to make a choice. Do I want to become a nurse and climb the ladder of success? Or, do I want to con’t being a Meth addict? I chose success and have been clean for 5 years. I don’t miss it, I don’t crave it. I’ve even had aquaintances (who are still Meth users) ask me if I want to get high..My answer…NO! I don’t do that anymore and they’ve even showed me the Meth and I am strong enough that I still say NO! And I’m proud of myself and the strength I have. I no longer see those friends just for the fact that they don’t respect that I have decided not to use. By the grace of God I’ve been clean and don’t EVER want to see meth again! I look at my babies and thank God everyday for them because they don’t hold it against me. They’re all over 21 and they know what I did and are proud of me too! So, hang in there….You’ll get stronger and you’ll start to feel so much better as time goes on.

October 2, 2013 at 1:58 am
(168) Cody says:

I shot up meth hardcore everyday of my life(except when I was locked up)from 1997 until 2009, I couldn’t live or function without it, now I am trying to remember the way I thought before I had ever touched it, trying to evaluate any damage that has been done to me mentally, like things I cant help, or control, from what I can figure out, the main damage is to my ability to care, I often find it difficult to stay in situations I dont want to be in, I have to really battle with myself to keep from just leaving, were as before I just thought I really dont want to be here, but there was really no question or option if I would stay or leave, does that make sense to anyone?

October 7, 2013 at 12:13 am
(169) meg says:

It gets better am now a recovering attic go to aa to rember were I do not want to be how to live life in a healthy way takes time and work drugs attics havibg livving in thinking problems before we even turn to drugs and alcohol. One day at atime sometimes minute by minute

October 19, 2013 at 2:09 am
(170) MissM says:

hello i just wanted to let everyone know that i have had years in the meth scene., and still know people in and out of the scene. i have been clean for 8 years off of meth and sober from everything else for 7 months. and it is possible to live a life full of serenity peace and joy…. it is possible. i have completed school, and i have some university. i also have a family and a home, and loving and caring friends. i have know people who have used meth for over 10 years who have gotten clean and sober and now live a life that some meth users once never imagined having. you have to stay positive and seek help. go to AA and talk to people and other addicts who are living the promises of sobriety…, if you really want a better life you have to be open minded and willing to do whatever it takes. think about how much you went through to get that point or whatever and to get high and do the things youve done in the problem use half that energy to get to a meeting and connect with AA and the steps to put in the work to be sober and you will be amazed! no one has failed who has thoroughly followed the path of suggestions though AA! good luck to you all and be positive!!!

October 30, 2013 at 4:22 am
(171) G/H says:

i started getting high at age 12,went form weed,hashish,angel dust pcp in every form,dippers-super cools, coke. did this stuff daily for a great number of years.at 22 i stared using meth every single day.i got high every day. and dra\nk during the time of my using.Herion was just a fade for me so it didnt last long during my drug journey.after28 years of using and abusing my body,brain and organs,the last12 years i was sprung out on meth. i used large quantities,supplied my own habbit by supplying others habbit. it took a whole year before i could even say that i could think somewhat clearly with a mature perspective.im 13 years clean now and function well,ive had sever drug treatment,education,nutrition and excersice. but mainly its been the grace of GOD that im even alive and able to spell, read, wrtie.Today i wok as a registered recovery worker, helping other drug addicts see the light. anyone can get clean, its staying clean that is difficult. But with GOD ALL things are Possible…

December 2, 2013 at 2:00 am
(172) jfar36 says:

@POST 155 KMP ,,,,,, yeah used as in past tense. Dont hate because your stuck in your own tracks.

December 11, 2013 at 7:48 pm
(173) bb says:

I used meth on a daily basis for two years and have now been meth free for eight months on the 15th of December. I was so moved by so many of the comments on here. it blows my mind everyday that I put myself through that for so long. its not who I was..and sometimes its hard to convince myself that’s its not who I am. for two years I lived in hell. And the worst part about it is that I packed up my soul and went there all by myself. the house that I grew up in and considered my safe haven quickly became the dope house of hell after me, my brother and sister all became addicted to it at the same time. our parents didn’t know what to do so they settled with denial. I felt like there was no way out and that I would have to die to ever be free of it. I didn’t know why at the time but I started praying. I prayed for a way out. and I kept praying as this was my last resort..I kept using, and using, and trying to quit, and using and using, and trying to quit and I just kept praying and even though I didn’t know what the love of God was yet I found myself thanking him for what I did have. a few months later I found myself five hours away from home (hell) and starting over. I told myself I would be here for two weeks and ive now been here for eight months. i still struggle with my ability to focus and im in constant worry about my health. im twenty years old and i feel like i have the health of someone who is fifty. i can still remember lying in bed feeling worthless. like this one mistake had changed who i was forever and i would never be clean of it. it certainly changed me. but i learned about a loving God who sent his son to die for our sins and that believing in this and accepting Christ’s love into our hearts we are wiped clean as snow. sounds hard to believe? believe it. i will always be scarred by my mistake of using meth…but my wounds are forever healed in christ

January 14, 2014 at 12:04 am
(174) no name says:

Tried meth for the first time when I was 13 years old. I’m 33 years old now. I starting off with little bumps (that’s when the dope was good – you remember glass, lemon drops, peanut butter?). Then I was racking lines with the big girls. Took awhile before I started hitting the pipe, but once I did that’s all I craved. I’d drive 50 miles for a sack of dope and brand new glass pipe. I knew exactly where all the outside restrooms were throughout the city so I could stop a get a fix on my back from seeing the dope man. Nowadays I shoot the stuff right up my veins. Who would of thought I’d be an IV drug user? Not me. Well, tonight I’m waiting on my girl to bring me a 20 she owes me but I think the broad is all messed up on heroine at the moment. Maybe she’ll forget about me. That’d be good considering I drove nearly 3000 miles just over a year ago to get away from this stuff. Pray for me. I’ve got to be strong. Don’t want the next 6 years to fly by…don’t want to miss my son’s life. Don’t want to die…please Lord let me live. Let me free from this wretched drug. Help me be strong.

March 7, 2014 at 10:30 pm
(175) Jeremy says:

Hey all I ama current heavy user for 4 years now I currently for The past year intravenously (inject) no less than 1.5 grams a day. I have not gotten meth mouth I sleep everyday and am a functioning member of society no kids or gf but have a great life I’m not paranoid and do just fine. The only thing I’ve noticed wrong since I started tweeking was all the bugs swarming in my teeth. I cannot get them out I’ve swished bugspray and everythinhg lol just kidding but ya I’m fine I’ve had a seizure or 2 but other than that I’m pretty OK I just injected .7 of a gram before writing thia so…..

March 11, 2014 at 10:08 am
(176) Jerryburtt says:

Hi Ice been a user of meth for over 17 Years first started with ecstasy then hit the picks /needles. I am a fair bit retarred but do not have the guts to admit that yet`. I have violent outbursts and want to kill people.

Occasionally I have the want to kill my older brother as I gave him his first snort and he used for a little while then just stopped. said it was a waste of life and money because of this I feel he is Judging me and thinks he is better then me would you agree?.

I am going to kill him one day soon. makes me really pissed of.
I hide it from my family by going fishing and taking downers that I steal from the medical cabinet to get some normal sleep . I know I sound realty bad but I am not.

April 10, 2014 at 9:31 am
(177) Janice says:

The people on this thread who deny any “brain damage” or “dysfunction” after years of using meth are in denial. Maybe if you hang out with the blue coller non-college crowd, you don’t feel that much of a difference cuz you don’t learn sh*t in high school. But I have a bunch of college people in the family and when they start talking academics, government, etc, it feels like my brain just putters out. I never know what to say. I can’t focus or follow their conversations even when their talking to me. It makes me feel so dumb for wasting that part of my brain. I didn’t even use heavily, off and on for about 10 years (as little as 2-4 times a year, at most a few times a month when friends had it.) So maybe your day-to-day life is fine but it’s so much harder to learn new stuff. Sorry this has just been bothering me a lot lately, I feel like I lost something I can’t get back. Maybe if I go to college now i’ll learn new stuff and get smarter but the idea of it sounds exhausting. :(

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