It used to drive me crazy, absolutely nuts, when I could not get someone to admit that their behavior was causing me a problem. That what they were doing was destroying themselves and damaging others as well.
Then in Al-Anon I found out that denial was part and parcel of the family disease of alcoholism. Denial was not part of the problem -- denial WAS the problem! That denial extended to other members of the family including me! I was in total denial that I was part of the problem and I was contributing to the family insanity.
Also I learned that maybe my expectations were a bit too high, if I expected someone else to be honest with me, when they were incapable of even being honest with themselves! I was incapable of even being honest with myself!
Today I know that it's not my job to convince someone else that they are in denial. I have some measure of serenity in turning that job over to a power greater than myself. But that still doesn't make it any less frustrating to see someone you care so much about destroy themselves.
All the while, denying that it is happening.
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