Al-Anon Meeting Topic: Detachment

I have to admit it took me a long time to understand the concept of "detachment" even after I was in Al-Anon a good while. I think it was because the concept was entirely foreign to me. I was so "attached" to everybody and every situation -- every problem, every crisis -- it got to be that their lives became MY life.

When their disease progressed to the point of total insanity, I was totally insane too! I was trying to change something that I was powerless to change -- mainly, someone else. I was trying to "fix" someone else's problems, when only they could do that.

I was basically trying to argue with a disease! Trying to talk someone out of being sick. it was like saying, you should know better than to have diabetes!!! When I finally understood and accepted that the alcoholic was addicted to something they were also allergic to and they were just as powerless as I was over it; and they needed help, support and encouragement just like I did, I was able to separate the alcoholic from the alcoholism.

For my own serenity, I have made the choice not to live around the active disease. I am able to offer understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic, because I understand today, I truly do.

But I also understand that alcoholics will never get better unless I detach myself from trying to fix them and allow them find their own way into recovery. I can not continue to maintain anything near serenity, if I allow myself to be engulfed in THEIR problems.

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