Because of the grace of a higher power, a Loving God as he/her/it may express it seft, the 12 steps and 12 traditions, I have been given a way to live that is so infinately better than I ever lived.
I sometimes thought that this is how some people do live, but by myself, and of myself I could have never found or learned to live as I do today, pretty much happy, joyous and free. That is what I used to find in boose and drugs, some of the time. then at the end -- and I must tell you that I did not know it was then end -- it was any thing but happy, joyous and free.
After having come to AA by mistake,I had been dry, no alcohol, for the better part of 18 months or so, when my Mom died as a direct result of alcohol abuse. My family dealt with it like most of my family deals with most things, they drank. I was furous, couldn't they see that she (our mom) had just died from alcoholism?
Then I turned most of my anger toward God: "so is this what you are going to do to me, and here I am staying dry! Thank Goodness my temporary sponsor at the time happened to me there with me, seeing my anger and fear, and asked me if I thought that God had done this? I thought about it, and didn't know which answer I truly believed.
He asked if I had been workimg the steps and as I started to lie and say I had, I was given the grace to tell him the truth. I sad no, to which he suggested that we do, and I nodded in the affirmative. I have came to understand that the loving God that I borrowed from my temporary sponsor that day has continue to love you and I, no matter what.
What I have come to believe is that it doesn't matter how old you are, how much you drank or used, the color of your skin, what you believe or don't believe, you can practice these principles of life. I found in the working of the steps and traditions, it makes it ok for me to be who I am what I am, today, one day at a time. Because of the power and love I have found, I know that it is there for you, too.
