| Teen Drinking - Don't Over-React! | |
Parents who discover that their teen-ager is drinking or using drugs are being encouraged not to over-react, but to carefully assess the entire situation before taking action that could have long-term damaging effects.
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Several of them offered a word of caution for parents concerned about their children's drinking or drug use, and suggested that many times parents tend to over-react if they discover their teens are using. Many teens who do drink, do not abuse alcohol, they said, and many others "experiment" with drugs, but do not become regular drug users.
Many times these casual or occassional users are forced into unneeded detox and treatment by their well-meaning parents, with the encouragement of treatment professionals who have a vested interest in providing those services, some readers said.
Parents might ask the question, "What is wrong with that?" Isn't it best to be on the safe side?" That might be true in some cases, but others argue that the experience of going to detox and treatment can be damaging for young people, if they are not really abusers or addicts in the first place.
In support of that theory Stanton Peele, a long-time opponent of the "disease concept" of alcoholism, forwarded to us the following letter he received and asked that we publish it on the About Alcoholism site. It is reprinted here with the permission of the author.
Molly's Story
I was put in several different treatment centers during 1985-1986 at the age of 14. Although I drank alcohol only three times and used marijuana twice. My denial of further usage was a Catch-22 for me. It ensured my place in treatment, because the "professionals" were operating under the belief that if I denied using I must be an alcoholic.After being discharged unsuccessfully from one center because I would not admit that I was an alcoholic, I was admitted to an in-patient facility to help break through my denial. An interesting sidebar to this is that my parents were in a twelve step based treatment center at the time, so they had complete support for forcing me to find recovery.
At the last treatment center I was told that I could not go home until I admitted that I was an alcoholic and agreed to go to AA meetings.
At the age of 14, unsure of my identity and place in the world, I began to believe that I was wrong, maybe I was an alcoholic. I began to think that maybe the reason I couldn't remember using was because of "blackouts." So I agreed to attend AA. This began a 12 year membership in AA, from the age of 14 to age 26.
Diagnostic Criteria
My identity as an adolescent developed with the belief that I had the disease of alcoholism and was different from everyone else. I dared not question this because my parents were in recovery and I was encouraged to spend time only with recovering people. All through those years was a nagging doubt that I was not an alcoholic, but I had grown up believing that I was.It was not until my mid twenties that I began to have the courage to question what had happened to me and probably countless other adolescents during the 80's. In AA asking questions is not tolerated so I began to "sneak" and do some research of my own about diagnostic criteria for alcohol abuse and dependence.
At this time I was working in a treatment center. I also received my degree in psychology. Upon researching the diagnostic criteria, I found that I met none of it. I began to do more research and left AA in the fall of '98.
Molly Mulcahy
The best thing for parents to do is talk with their children about drugs and alcohol -- the earlier the better. Studies have shown that kids whose parents talk to them about drinking and using drugs, are much less likely to begin using in their teens.
Taking a few minutes to have a serious, informed discussion about the dangers of alcohol and drug abuse, could be all it takes to avoid a great deal of heartache and confusion for the family.
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