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Al-Anon Meeting Topic: Anger

A Natural Emotion

From BuddyT, for About.com

Created: April 14, 2004

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by Steven Gans, MD

I grew up getting mixed messages about dealing with anger. On one hand I was told to control my own anger -- and severly punished if I didn't --on the other hand the people I lived with never controlled their anger which would explode violently... toward each other and sometimes toward me.

So, naturally I never had a clue how I was supposed to handle anger. I never saw anyone do it in a healthy manner -- how was I supposed to know? Then I wandered into Al-Anon and was told that it was okay to be angry! Huh? Who told you that? Where does it say that?

Yep, they said, anger is a natural and normal emotion. Being angry is okay, it's what you DO with the anger that makes a difference. Today I have a program that gives me the tools to deal with my anger. It teaches me to detach so that others actions don't make me so angry in the first place.

Even when I blow it, and don't handle it right, the program tells me to promptly admit it and to make amends whenever possible. It is amazing how well that works, when you work it! That would have never occurred to me before!

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