Step 12: Saved My Life
I went on my first 12 step call at two weeks sober, barely an infant in this program. When I got there I found that I was more interested in his wife's legs than I was in helping him. Gradually I discovered that 12 step work wasn't just going out to help the one who still suffers. It also included simply going to meetings and being seen there; making coffee; speaking up during comments; saying "yes" when asked to do service work or speak at a meeting; offering to give a ride to those who otherwise would not go to a meeting; in short, 12 step work is very much "setting the example".In 1992 I was on disability leave from work for 3 months. I notified the Chicago central office that I was available for 12 step work, and they all had my name taped to their desks. I was getting so many calls I couldn't keep up. In one eight day period, I had seven 12 step calls.
I did manage to help some, but I did a dis-service to many by spreading myself too thin. I could not possibly keep up with all of them, making sure they all went to meetings, and making those darn phone calls all day. Likewise, the phone rang so much, I didn't have time just for me. It was rewarding though, and today I have several under my belt who I still see regularly that stayed with the program and are happy, joyous and free.
Two Different Worlds?
But the real 12 step work that I know happened to me personally. When I was in my third month of sobriety, one day was particularly bad. I had a hard day at work. It was July and very hot outside. I walked my ten minutes to the club I was going to, and walked in, only to find the air conditioner was on the fritz. The room filled up (75) and the meeting started. I didn't like the lead. The comments began and out of 75 people, I was about number 70 to comment. I said "I'll pass".After the meeting was over, Wally approached me: Would I give him a ride home? So we walked ten minutes to my car in silence. We got in the car, and I placed the key in the ignition. Suddenly Wally's hand was on mine. "You got something on your mind" he said. So? I replied. "Listen kid, don't do it. You got too much going for you. You're young and you got your whole life ahead of you. Listen to me, I'm old enough to be your father."
Now Wally and I came from different planets. I was a college grad, he was a 7th grade dropout. I was a Chicagoan, he was a New Yorker. I was an executive, he was a machine shop setup man. He was in his 60's, I was in my 30's. We had zip in common. But here he was, telling me how to stay sober. It worked. What he said to me that evening saved my life. That was REAL 12 step work.
Thank you Wally. I owe you my life.
Sox
More about Step 12
Step 12: Service
"For those in recovery programs, practicing Step 12 is simply "how it works."Living It
"We have to live it before we can give it."Do No Harm
"In short don't rescue the alcoholic it harms him/her in the long run."It Works Online, Too
"I have found so many opportunities online to meet and greet newcomers, to do service work, and to listen and learn from others."
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