We have made these pages available to members of the recovery community who wish to share their experience, strength, and hope with others.

Ginna's Story

It all started when I was 11 years old...we were at a family party and my dad slipped a little bourbon into my coke... and it tasted good... and better yet... it felt good.

"...all of these things worked for me in many areas, however, I was still using and drinking the whole time."

This went on for a few years and by the time I was 15 it wasn't enough; and the Alateen meetings my best friend's mom had been sneaking me to weren't enough...and my therapist wasn't enough. I started smoking, drinking, eating, inhaling anything that made the pain of my parent's divorce and the pain from the relationships I had with both of my parents disappear.

At the time, I didn't realize that it wasn't working. I would come down and sober up and the pain would still be there -- generally it would hurt even more. Over the next nine years I stayed in various 12 step programs.

I outgrew Alateen and moved to Alanon. My dad was a drunk. We all know the family history. I joined ACA and all of these things worked for me in many areas, however, I was still using and drinking the whole time.

I was convinced that because I had "control" over the bad seeds in my life that I wasn't a drunk. Well, needless to say, I was wrong... dead wrong. By the time I was finally finished pointing my finger at everyone else in my life, I looked down and discovered the other three fingers were pointing right back at me.

I had been in the rooms for 10 years and it was finally time to start working on JUST me. This was not an easy thing to admit or an easy task to accomplish. By the time I realized this I was drowning in my addictions. I had been hiding my alcohol in my bedroom closet for three years at this point -- drinking in the middle of the night when the drugs wore off or when I needed to get some sleep, etc. The excuses go on and on.

Mother's Day Message

It was Mother's Day 1995 and a historically bad day in my life. I had had a miscarriage years before. I couldn't afford to go home to be with my mother, which was a HUGE deal because my grandmother (her mom) who was the backbone of our family had died on Mother's Day in 1988. She was missed so much. I had always felt if she were around just a little longer then maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have ended up where I was (ha!).

"I knew in the midst of my sheer insanity that I had just had a spiritual experience and that I would be okay."

So I was really on my pity pot and having a nervous breakdown. I had decided that I had to stop but was paralyzed by fear of so many forms. I had voices in my head and I was screaming at the top of my lungs in my room for help. .I went into my closet, eyes blurred, brain on fire, to smash every bit of paraphenalia that I had... bottles, bongs, etc.

I was screaming for someone to please just help me...and all of a sudden I took a huge inhale of air and smelled my grandmother's perfume. I heard her voice as clear as a bell say to me, "Everything is going to be all right..." Then I felt her patting my back the way she did when I was very young and she would rock me to sleep.

I knew in the midst of my sheer insanity that I had just had a spiritual experience and that I would be okay, because I really did have a guardian angel. God revealed her to me when I needed her the most. That was May 15, 1995. I picked up a desire chip on May 17, 1995. God willing, I'll never have to pick one up again... but it's only One Day At A Time.

Thanks for letting me share...
Ginna G.

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