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This feature was written by Steve G. in which he outlines the many attempts that he made at trying to find sobriety.

Final Slip

I spent my 10 days in the psych ward. There they determined that I should attend treatment for my alcoholism. Ron and my wife encouraged the same but me being the smart sort of fellow I am determined that I could do this without treatment.

I guess I was incapable of grasping and developing a program that required vigorous honesty. I was constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself.

That judge then court ordered me to attend two meetings of alcoholics anonymous per week. I later found out the reason he was so patient with me was he was in the program as well and felt that I could overcome this. He too gave me a lot of second chances.

Ron volunteered to be my sponsor until he could help me find a permanent one. I said no as I wasn't ready for that yet. Ron ensured that I attended at least three meetings per week and sometimes a lot more. He would explain that he wasn't doing this for me but for himself and that he was taking advantage of me. He Then would just chuckle to himself. It took few one days at a time to understand what he was talking about.

I became involved with a great group, they were patient and hard on me at the same time. Ron and they showed the path that many had followed. I did this for about a year and a half but slipped eight times. I guess I was incapable of grasping and developing a program that required vigorous honesty. I was constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself. But THEY never gave up even when I did.

Each slip resulted in more pressure financially and legally. My business was failing but would not give up. Ron then told me the morning after one slip, "if there is anything in this whole world that could cause me to get drunk I would get rid of it." "No matter how important it seemed to me at the time I would get rid of it." That's how Ron did the sponsor thing, told me what he did or would do, never did he say this is what you need to do.

Call for Help

Then the final slip on May 16, 1991. I drank until I was in a blacked out. After two days the friends that I were drinking with got very sick of how I was acting and a fight broke out. It was raining outside and we ended up wrestling in the mud. I was taken home with a broken nose, full of blood, and mud.

I told him that I did not care, this needed to stop and I couldn't stop it.

My wife was not happy and then the fight started there. I had pushed my wife up against the wall and had her by the neck threatening to strike her with my free hand. My daughter who was now 18 months old crawled out of a crib, which she normally was incapable of doing, got hold of her mother's leg and started screaming at me to stop and not hurt her mommy. I will never forget the look of fear I had instilled on that precious child's face and in her eyes.

I then started to ask for help. I called my friend, the sheriff, who came over and explained that if he arrested me it would mean another court appearance and that may be the straw that breaks the camel's back. I told him that I did not care this needed to stop and I couldn't stop it. I Then called Ron and asked him to come over.

The sheriff arrested me but released me into Ron's custody with no contact with my family until the court date 4 days later. Ron Then took me to his ranch, got me cleaned up and sobered up. We spent the four days talking about AA and what I wanted. On the 2nd day Ron was called by a family as their husband and father was bedridden due to his drinking. He took me on my first 12 step call.

12th Step Call

We went to town to see this man. He laid in his bed which was he was unable to get up due to being so week after a 3 week or longer drinking binge. He had not go out of the bed for two days and all of his bodily functions were there with him in bed. His wife was afraid of him due to a pistol lying on the nightstand. She was bringing him his drinks out of fear. Ron asked while I listened. Ron's wanted to call and ambulance as the gentleman needed hospitalization. The man only picked up the pistol and threatened Ron. He refused Ron's help.

My business was helping me get drunk, or at least was an excuse, so I gave up the excuse.

After two hours of this Ron called the man's son and told him to come get his mother out of this house as she did not have to be a part of this. He then called the ambulance which the man refused to cooperate with.

Ron then placed the phone by him and told him to call him if he needed anything. He thanked him and explained that the two hours may have not done him any good but Ron was attempting to help me and most importantly himself to stay sober and this gentleman had accomplished that. He Then explained that we were taking advantage of him.

As we left Ron then said to me outside the house "Steve some of them have to die, and I hope some of them don't have to be us." Two days later the man asked his son to take him to the hospital and then was admitted to a treatment program. On the 3rd day I asked that he take me to see the banker. I gave the keys to my business to the banker and made the amend that needed to be made for threatening to shoot him over a year earlier. My business was helping me get drunk, or at least was an excuse, so I gave up the excuse.

Continue to Part IV

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