| Who is 'Ready' for Step 4? | |
There is an attitude among some 12 Step support group members that newcomers have 'to be ready' to work the Steps, particularly the Step 4, but author Anne Wayman says that is not what the founders had in mind.
|
Lifetime Sponsorship? Taking an Inventory The 12 Steps The 12 Traditions | ||
By Anne Wayman
Easy Does It is seen on walls of 12 Step meeting halls. Sponsors tell their Sponsees, "Easy does it," and 12 Steppers say it to each other often. Usually it's good advice.
Those of us recovering from addictions seem subject to more 'mind storms' than the rest of the world. We can get caught in such mental snarls! Easy Does It! is often a good solution to what some refer to as 'monkey mind,' particularly if we add a couple of deep breaths!
One of the best uses for Easy Does It! is to quiet the demand for instant perfection, whether that demand is for our Program or our family, our work and income or any other area in our lives.
When we come to Program we have lots of work to do, and trying to get everything done all at once, and perfectly, is a sure path toward failure. Our first job is our addiction, and for 12 Steppers that means our first job is working the Steps.
Working the Steps is where the addition to Easy Does It really makes sense… But Do It!
For reasons that I believe have more to do with unfounded fear than anything else, there is an attitude among some in 12 Step Recovery that we have 'to be ready' to work the Steps, particularly the 4th Step. It appears to be a fear that a newcomer will go into some sort of overwhelm and maybe slip because the 4th Step is to hard to handle in the beginning.
Taking Action
What's ignored is that there is no indication in the literature that we should take our time -- absolutely none. In fact, if you read Dr. Bob's story, in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, it becomes clear he worked the then Six Steps in an afternoon and evening! (The original six steps contain all of the now 12 they were broken up to provide more manageable chunks).The founders and old timers knew it was imperative that the addict had to take massive personal action to effect the needed changes. The Steps, including Step 4 are a solid plan for taking the action necessary to recover.
Now, I'm not saying everyone must work all the Steps in an afternoon and evening I didn't, but I was lucky when some member told me I wasn't 'ready' to do the 4th. My sponsor simply snorted and suggested I get on with it and I did, just before my 90th day.
In my opinion, there is no such thing as 'being ready.' Think about it. What would 'being ready' look like? How are you supposed to know if you're there or not? There's no criteria or evidence. Besides delaying now only makes it easier to delay tomorrow, and tomorrow until we've justified not doing it at all!
Getting down to the work, work on the Steps, is the real solution, and the way to become Powerfully Recovered!
This series on the Slogans is adapted from my book, Powerfully Recovered! which can be found at powerfullyrecovered.com.
Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday
Friday | Saturday | Sunday
|
Ask it on the Bulletin Board. Weekly Newsletter Free update via email |
|
Conventions & Roundups. Cybriety Medallions Pick up your chip. |
Previous Features
