It's another common characteristic of children who grow up in an alcoholic home, not being able to laugh at themselves or give themselves a break when they make mistakes.
Visitors to the About.com Alcoholism site who answered the question, "How Do You Feel Growing Up With an Alcoholic Parent Has Changed You?" describe their outlook:
Atmosphere With Little Respite
My mother's frustration, anger, rage, and contempt were our "home" atmosphere. It was an atmosphere with little respite, which birthed unshakable depression, confusion, hatred, self and life loathing, and an unrelenting fear of exposure. -- Steven
Blame Myself When Things Go Wrong
I am cautious, hard-working, anxious about what could go wrong in all situations, driven to succeed, criticize myself when things do not go right and go through periods of sadness. I couldn't say how it has 'changed' me because I do not know the person I would have been had my mother been well. -- Sandra
Suicidal Tendencies
After suffering suicidal tendencies in my early 20's I managed to get some counseling and am now married with a little boy. To be honest, life is still very hard and I still suffer sleep problems involving awful nightmares. -- John
Panic Attacks, Anger Outbursts
I am much better now than I was for my first 25 years of adulthood. I found medication to help with the panic attacks and anger outbursts that sometimes sent me to the ER. The sad thing about those years is that I was raising my two sons. I know they are scared now just like I was and there was no alcohol involved in their lives with me. -- Sandy
Unable to See the Positive
I realize I am very similar to other children of alcoholics: low self-esteem, lots of emotional ups and downs in life, looking for approval often, low-paying employment, never as happy alone as when I am with others, critical of self and others, fatigued by routine in life and unable to see the positive when there is lots of good around me. A worrier and always trying to figure out how others take life in stride! -- S.P.
Drained of Energy
I was completely broken, mentally. I was so drained of energy, and had no idea of what the real world had to offer. I became zombified. I had no dreams, no ambitions, no nothing. -- Firefly
Children Are Profoundly Affected
If you are a heavy drinker and have children, it's hard to read these descriptions and still hold on to the belief that your drinking is not affecting any else. You may want to try to find help to quit or cut back on the amount of alcohol that you consume.If you grew up in a home with an alcoholic, you may want to take this quiz to find out just how much you may have been affected by the experience. Those who have been affected by parental alcoholism have found help through professional counseling or find support in either Al-Anon Family Groups or the support group Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Sources: Janet G. Woititz, "The 13 Characteristics of Adult Children," The Awareness Center. Accessed November 2010. Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization, "The Laundry List – 14 Traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic," (Attributed to Tony A., 1978). Accessed November 2010.
