That's seems to be the way God always does it, puts the ball in our court and waits for us to make the first move. That's why step two is before step three, I have to believe first, and only then can it happen.
The same seems to be true with forgiveness. God does not require me to "feel" like forgiving, only that I forgive! By doing so, by taking that first step -- faking it until I make it even --then God is able to give me a forgiving heart.
Freeing Myself From the BurdenAnd that to me is what forgiveness really is, not a feeling that I can will myself to have, but a gift from a power greater than myself. It's so typical of the Al-Anon program that by forgiving some wrong or hurt or abuse I am not enabling someone else to continue in the behavior, I am freeing myself up from the burden of unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment. I am doing what is best for me!
What the other person does with my forgiveness is not my problem, or any of my business. I just have to do my part right and Let Go and Let God handle the rest!
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