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Al-Anon Meeting Topic: Verbal Abuse

It's Hard to Detach From Hurtful Words

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Updated February 12, 2014

It difficult it is to detach when the "disease" is in your face screaming!

When the alcoholic is accusing, cursing, raging, dominating, manipulating, or controlling, it makes "detachment with love" seem almost impossible.

But I have discovered this little trick to help me detach in times like those.

I remind myself that if the screaming alcoholic was a wino on the street who walked up to me and said all those things, I wouldn't give it a second thought. If it was a bum on the street, I would give their words no credibility whatsoever!

I Do Not Have to Accept the Words

So, if I can just mentally picture the alcoholic in my face as a street bum, it helps me to remember that there really is no difference! A drunk is a drunk! The disease is no respecter of persons. It helps me to realize that I do not have to accept those words as the truth.

I can just smile and say, "Thanks for sharing, but that doesn't make it true!"

-- BuddyT

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