I started drinking when I was 12. I started with beer. I drank all through high school. I hated hangovers, almost enough to want to stop drinking because of them. I started drinking hard alcohol when I went to college.
I made a deadly discovery that changed my life. I realized that you could remove your next-morning hangover by drinking. It wasn't long that I was drinking all day every day. Eventually I became dependent, mentally and physically.
I drank almost a handle (the BIG bottle) a day. I would keep a bottle in my car so that I could drink at whatever job I had at the time.
Shakes, Hallucinations, Seizures
I used to try to quit, but my body would shake so bad that I couldn't move. I even experienced hallucinations a few times. I went to the hospital several times after severe withdrawals and minor seizures.
The doctor told me I would die very soon. I didn't listen. I ended up homeless; living in my car which was broken down on a street that I don't know the name of to this day. I would wake up every morning and make my way to the store to steal a bottle of vodka. I did this every morning for three months, and never got caught.
I Needed Help
My sister came and rescued me from San Diego. I stayed with her for a few months and eventually went back to drinking. I was able to make enough money with my job to have a roof and drink. I was fully dependent upon alcohol.
I eventually lost that job (I lost 8 jobs because of drinking). One day after a serious night of drinking, I laid in my bed numb. I felt something reach out to me. I called my sister. I needed help.
Filling a Hole Designed for God
My sister took me to the Bakersfield Rescue Mission. It was there that I accepted Christ. I studied the word of God every day for a year, and became a disciple of Christ. It was there that I realized that drinking was just a symptom of my problem. I was trying to medicate with a substance; filling a hole designed for God.
I realized I was not an accident. I have a purpose. I now understand what it means when people say that you need a higher power. I didn't have a drinking problem..I had a "thinking" problem. I hope I have reached someone. Give it to Christ.