I Became Sicker and SickerI was raped when I was 12, and was too afraid to go to my parents. One night my best friend asked me if I wanted to raid the liquor cabinet with her. I did it, and found heaven. Being drunk made me forget about all the pain and deception. I was thrilled.
I drank for 10 more years. I became sicker and sicker. Physically and strangely enough mentally too. When I was 18 I ran away from home two weeks before graduation. I finished school while living at a friend's house. But the day of graduation I had a psychotic episode and was sent to the state hospital for two months.
I Realized I Had a ProblemI was never honest with the doctors about my drinking so they thought nothing of it. They prescribed me the medicines for my mental illness and sent me on my way. So then I was taking medicine AND drinking. All the time I wondered why my medicine wasn't working. The doctors would raise the dose and I would go in and out of the hospital, but never did I link my drinking and my illness being worse.
Finally one day my cousin took me to an AA meeting. I had no idea she was in the program. It was there that I realized I had a problem. But I wouldn't enter the program until 2001.
I Returned a Lot WiserWhen I first came into AA, I was told "The only sickness is your drinking. Stop taking your medicines." So I did. Then I got sick again and ended up back in the hospital. There I was blessed to have a doctor in psychiatry AND addiction. He told me just because I was sober did not mean I didn't need my medicine. He told me if anyone had anything to say about it to refer them to him. I returned to AA a lot wiser.
My sobriety date is May 20, 2001. I have been blessed with a wonderful marriage to a great man who encourages my recovery both from alcohol and mental illness. I am so grateful to my Higher Power for my cousin taking me to AA. There I found Him, and there I found peace.