AA Step 6 of the 12-Step Program

AA's Step 6 of the 12-step program states, "We are entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character." Step 6 is focused on acceptance, which involves accepting character defects exactly as they are and then being willing to let them go.

After identifying shortcomings and admitting to them by working through Steps 4 and 5, the next step forces members of 12-step recovery groups to ask themselves if they are really willing to give up some of those faults. These faults or ways of behaving and coping have been with the individual for a long time. While they may be comfortable, it is important to recognize how these old ways have contributed to the individual's problems.

If the previous steps have been done thoroughly and honestly, facing the truth can often bring a measure of guilt, which is a great motivation to become "entirely ready" to remove those shortcomings. As with all the steps, the ability to become ready comes from a higher power—a power greater than ourselves.

How Step 6 Works

The idea behind this phase of 12-step recovery—Steps 4 through 7—is to address some of the personal issues, shortcomings, and character defects that may have been a factor in our decision to begin drinking in the first place.

If we simply stop drinking and do not address some of these other issues, they could lead us into situations that may cause us to relapse. For example, if the way we express anger or the way we handle rejection is a problem for others around us, we could end up ruining a relationship, and that could cause us to pick up a drink again.

Furthermore, if we "only" quit drinking and don't address our other issues, we could end up what some call a "dry drunk," meaning we may become bitter and resentful. In which case, we may be sober but very unhappy.

Why Step 6 Is Important for Recovery

Step 6 is so important in the process because it focuses on the willingness to change the old behaviors that contributed to the alcohol problem. Stopping drinking without addressing those behaviors makes slipping back into our old habits easier.

That is why Steps 4 through 7 are in the middle of the 12 steps. If we don't admit we have shortcomings and take steps to address those issues, then a spiritual awakening may never come. It's all about being honest with ourselves and those around us.

What You Can Do

Practical things that we can do to work toward understanding and overcoming problematic behaviors include:

• List our faults, weaknesses, or challenges.
• For each one, note the ways that the problem affects our behavior.
• Write down the effect this fault has both on us and on others.
• Ask ourselves what feelings are associated with this weakness. Are such behaviors intended to minimize or hide distressing emotions?
• Consider what life would be like if we did not engage in these behaviors. What strategies could we use instead that would be more productive?

Thinking of these issues this way can help us better recognize how they influence our moods and behaviors. It can also allow us to see the benefits of changing, which will ultimately improve our willingness and motivation to change.

History of Step 6

Step 6 introduces the phrase "defects of character." It is important to understand that the origin of this phrase stems from how alcohol and substance use were conceptualized in earlier editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). When Alcoholics Anonymous first emerged, the DSM listed alcoholism and addiction as personality disorders. It was a psychological approach to addiction that viewed substance and alcohol abuse as a result of addictive personality traits. 

Today, researchers and clinicians understand that alcohol and substance misuse are brain-based conditions. However, many behaviors resulting from alcohol and substance misuse—such as denial—are obstacles on the road to recovery. Learning to recognize these behaviors as problematic and being willing to change them are essential for long-term recovery.

Helpful Strategies

There are some things that may help us approach Step 6. These include:

Humility

Working Step 6 is simply working the first five steps, and then getting humble. This is not easy for many alcoholics. Working the first five steps seems grueling at first, but they manage to do it. Then, the "humble" part steps in. How do we make ourselves humble? If the messages of the first five steps sink in, we find humility. If the message somehow escaped us, we can go back and work on it, find out what we did wrong, and then try this step again.

People also often reflect on the times they had hurt friends, family, and employers but rationalized their behavior and blamed the one who was injured. In working the steps and accepting responsibility for the consequences of their actions and omissions, people may experience shame and remorse.

Specificity

During Stage 6, it is important to be specific about some of the character faults that may have contributed to the onset and maintenance of an alcohol use disorder. Rather than simply stating that we have anger issues, we can look at the underlying triggers and consequences of that anger. In order to truly accept and then let go of these defects, we need to identify and recognize them for what they are.

Acceptance

The goal of Stage 6 is not to engage in self-condemnation or shaming. Instead, it is about looking at ourselves with honesty and accepting the things that have played a part in our drinking problem. By showing ourselves acceptance and then submitting to a higher power, we can work toward letting go of the behaviors that are holding us back from truly achieving our goals.