- I am a young girl and my father has been an alchaholc for a young age. He gets drunk very often making my family and I very unhappy. When my fathers drunk he sickens me, I get a pain in my stomach, I feel angry and depressed. he shouts swears and he drinks more. im too young to leave home and ive been tempted to call the police several times but s this the right thing to do. when you go round to your friends house their families are so polite friendly. I feel jealous! why cat my fmily be like this! my mum has left the house several times during the night! while my dad swears and abuses us! I don't know what to do! when I go from room to room I get followed and this is the same with my mum too. I feel like God has turned against me almost like he thinks this is fun to torture me! in text it doesn't sound AS bad in reality its torture.he claims he hardly gets drunk! if only he knew! im just really scared!!
- —Guest Sammy
- Growing up with an alcoholic parent is the worst thing that can ever happen to a child. My father has always been an alcoholic. I am 22 years old and to this day I struggle with life. Recently I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder and I don't know if it comes from my father being an alcoholic but my therapist says its usually from something that happened to me as achild that interfered with my normal development growing up. And since it wasn't corrected as a child it interferes with my daily adult life. I never really had any friends I had an issue keeping close relationships. I really love my father with all my heart but I have suffered so much because he chose a bottle over his family.
- —Guest Ana
59 and still in pain
- Yes I grew up in an alcoholic home with 6 other siblings. They all seemed to grow up without any problems but not I. I was always in trouble as a kid (a scapegoat )and I was whipped severely for constantly running away from my life . Then I was sent to a training school .I was 14 . I was a virgin. I didn't know anything about drugs. But it didn't take long for me to find out about everything in there. I was there for 1 yr. and 3 mths. When I got out I could hardly wait to try out all of the stuff Id learned??? And so I did as nothing had changed at home... I was shooting speed at 16 and having sex.. My entire life after that has been consumed with anything I could get. I have 2 children whom I love more than anything that have gone through this too. I am now in recovery for 6 yrs. And Ive just found out about ACOA and reading anything I can. Thank-you to God and you people helping others
- I read and was moved by your post. You've seen a lot too. Believe me, I can understand how you feel too. It does get better too. I'm living, breathing proof of it. If you feel that you shouldn't drink then don't. There's very few things in this life that we can call our own and our heart felt convictions is one of them. Good luck. Now a general post folks. I've read that alcohism is a disease, no it's not. Cancer is a disease, ALS is a disease. Alcohol is a choice. Yes, it has the same symphoms of a disease. But, it is still a choice. Both of my parents were alcohics. My father drank till his dieing day and my mother was sober for many, many years. Both was a choice. Are you still pissed off you might ask? No thankfully I'm not. I, with God's help have forgiven my parents for thier human weaknesses and moved on.
- —Guest Rick
It does get easier.
- To all the people who have recently posted on here I'd like you all to know that it does get easier.Maybe not right now but in the future you will all learn to live with what you have gone through.as ACOA we haven't had the best start in life but we can have great futures.Learn from our parents mistakes,we all have choices.I don't want to be like my mum..I don't drink and I'm a much better mother to my children than she is to hers.For a long time in my teens I didn't want to live because my life was so painful but I'm so glad I'm still here.stay strong.
- —Guest Vicky
It changed me
- Watching my dad struggle with alcohol my entire life has made me deathly scared to even touch a drink. Just the smell of beer or wine makes me incredibly nuaseaus. I am 14 and seeing my dad drunk and hearing him yell and scream or just watching him depressed kills me inside. He doesn't even talk to me anymore and when he does it's in a spiteful manner and I'm just scared he's going to kill himself or leave my family. He lost his job. My house is just falling apart. I never want to have this drinking problem because I know the minute I drink, I'd get addicted like him. I don't want that. My life is just in shambles right now I don't know what to do. I tell my boyfriend when things get bad and stuff but I mean no one but someone also going through this situation really understands what it's like to live in a constant fear and to be walking on eggshells for 14 years.
- —Guest Idek
at my wits end
- ive been reading some of the letters and so many of them sound like me my partner of 18 years is an alcoholic who as turned down all the help offered they have stolen from me on numerous occasions for drink and the abuse i recieve as now got to much i am disabled and they are my so called carer we have no physical relationship and the lies and excuses mean nothing she drinks and drives but seems to stupid to care no matter what i say she is also on her final warning at work but nothing matters to her only drink her family have tried to help but nothing matters i really dont think she loves me no matter what i say but i do still love her i feel so worthless and depressed and feel i cant go on anymore i have thought about leaving her but am afraid to be on my own so i stay.
Alcoholic father, where is he now?
- I am 16 year old girl in England and for most of my childhood I grew up with an alcoholic father, I haven't seen him since I turned 12 as my mum finally divorced him. I am very emotionally repressed and have only started in the past 2 years to processes what has happened. I now despise him with every fibre of my being as when he would drink he would accuse me of being overweight and would constantly fight with my mum. This has meant that I felt like I had no one to talk to as I did not want to bother her with my feelings, this was until I met my English teacher in year and he was the one who helped my to deal with my feelings and I know regard him as more of a father figure than my real dad. All I know is that if my father died I would not go to his funeral.
- —Guest guest emily
it still affetcs me
- I didnt even know that my family had alcoholism until I began searching for answers. My question was why even though I dont drink dont smoke, dont do drugs, why I cant leave this guy he hurt me emotionally physically psychologically and everyway possible, why why. Then I finally understood I was addicted to him. I was addicted to problematic people. I didnt even realized it until I found Al anon. But I am still struggling because after that bad relationship I finally had to face the family I grow up with. My father s wife was a mean b.. and my father rarely defended me. actually he was rarely there. Always working or having affairs never had time to play or to spend time with me and my sister. Only after doing a lot of 4 th step I was able to see the alcoholic people but my bigger problem now is that I still didnt stop hoping that my father will come around and fix everything. Apologize for it all and be the father I always needed. And that wait is killing me. God help me now
- —Guest jen
Working on it
- I'm 17 and my father was an alcoholic. He was never abusive, but I remember he was thought of by my brother and I as "The mean one". I feel like I'm not really going to quite know the father-daughter bond as well as friends who have been building these relationships all these years. Just recently got an "I love you too" out of him.
- —Guest Angela
Parenting my parents
- My dad is an alcoholic. There are better days and worse days, but last night he was so drunk at dinner time that he wasn't making any sense and was staggering around the kitchen. He has been drinking since before my parents have been married (over 25 years). I am a 16 year old girl. My mom hid dad's alcoholism from me until this year, when it got so bad that she couldn't hide it anymore. Even before I knew what the problem was, I knew that something was wrong in my family. Since the beginning of this year, I have been the one who comforts mom when she and dad get into fights, the one who talks to my dad about his drinking and the one who insists on family counseling. I feel like I have become the adult in the family. Whenever I see alcohol, smell it, or even hear people talk about it, I have to leave the room before I start crying or say something in anger that I will regret. In school, we are reading about a broken family, and I couldn't get past chapter 1. It was just too familiar.
- —Guest Guest Julia
Angry Drinking mom
- Since I can remember my mom would stop at the local liquor store and pick up the typical JUG/BOX of white wine and proceed to finish it by herself...in days...Bad weeks it was 3 days...good weeks 4 or 5 days. I found myself as a child fearing that sound of a wine glass hitting the counter. Because she would get irrationally angry at me and my step dad. Sometimes it would lead to arguments about divorce or yelling at me about the way I dusted. I specially remember one arguement where i was crying because she was yelling at my and my step dad...she told me "go live with your father if you dont like it here". I will never forget that. I remember as i got older wishing and hoping and praying that i could leave. i couldnt wait to get out of high school and go to college so I could stop having to listen to the screaming. My step dad is a saint and has some how managed to calm down her drinking since and made the rule that there is to be no boxes of wine in the house anymore.
- —Guest keri
- Growing up with an alcoholic father drove me to self-harm, and gave me paranoia, and panic attacks when I felt threatened by someone, even when no real threat existed. If someone even mentions the word alcohol I break down crying while the flashbacks and memories fill my head. I've become violent towards people who have indirectly joked about alcoholism, which i'm not proud of. It got me suspended from school and I fell behind my classmates. Even now, I find it hard to trust people. I examine their body language and the way they're talking to see if they're lying to me. I always seem to think that people have hidden motives. All my social and psychological problems are results of my father alcoholism and my sisters bi-polar disorder. Fortunately, I am recovering and finally moving on with my life thanks to psychologists and counsellors. The rest of my family and my friends have also been understanding and supportive. Overall, it has deeply affected me in good ways and bad
- —Guest Kat
- I was growing up with an alcoholic dad and i hated it.My dad drank so much that he would black out and wouldent remember things that happened the day before. I.would worry about him and couldn't enjoy my childhood. My mom was always the encouriging one that took care of my sister and I. Sincei.was the older sister,i understood more and i was always the one that took everything hard. I tried.to block all my past experiences, but for some reason i couldn't. To all of you kids whi struggle with the same situation i did just don't give up. Call someone you can trust and talk with them.....let it all out,express your self . It really helps.
- —Guest larissa
- I'm 18, my mom has been an alcoholic since I was six, but my dad pulled us out of her house five years ago, in order to escape the abuse. I have unintentionally repressed so many memories from my childhood in order to forget how horrible I felt, and I can see the lasting effects of her abuse on me, but I think only children of alcoholics can understand when I say no matter how much I hate her, I will always love her too. Due to the daily verbal and occasionally physical abuse, I have seen what having an alcoholic mom has done. Though I escaped the situation many years ago, I am only starting to come out of my shell, I am very weary of any conflict, and always want to please everyone. I sadly have no memory of my mom before she started drinking, but am deeply depressed with thoughts of how I could have turned out had I not have had to gone through this in my life. Am I not myself because of it? I believe that alcoholism is a disease, but it starts with a choice, and my mom chose it.
- —Guest Leigh