When I was lil
- My dad he gets drunk and hits me for no reason he broke my whole dresser tonight then threw the wooden pieces at me and i think it effected me the most by never wanting to try alcohol ever in my life.
- —Guest jr
- My dad has been an alcoholic my whole life, my mother never as bad, but still drinks a moderate amount every night. I never realized just how terrible booze can be, but in the last few years Ive come to realize just how much it screws everything up. Every time my parents get too wasted its either baby sitting, arguing or violence. Its getting really old. Ive never had to defend myself but ive had so many close calls its ridiculous. Just thinking about the way they treat me and speak to me when their drunk makes me very angry. I love my parents but Im sick of the verbal abuse and im sick of living here. Cant wait to keep my distance from here.
- —Guest Cunningham
- I feel like i have no sense of direction. Deep loss! A whole in my soul! I need to be fixed! And im 48 years old. I cant make decisions on my own.
- —Guest Dana j. Cross
- Don't know what's right or wrong as far as a normal life is concerned...just keep trying to get it right as I have been for a very long time. Home growing up was not normal...mother still drinking...although I'm an adult now it still effects me that it was like she was never there. Still hurts that I can't be normal in relationships because I didn't see her in a normal relationship...for along time have felt very alone. No one to relate to often I want to just give up. Torn because I do love her but at the same time hate her for not caring enough about how her drinking and lack of parenting effected me and my brother. I hate having to act like everything has been so normal when it has been everything but that...just sweep everything under the rug and be grateful I'm here. But, being here hurts when it seems that you can't get anything right...don't know if I will ever feel normal or if the pain and trauma of growing up in a broken home with an alcoholic parent will ever go away.
- —Guest LA
- My mother was an alcoholic. I barely knew her. She was hardly around which left my Irish dad to raise two Native girls almost by himself. We finally lost her when I was 4 yrs old. I myself became an alcoholic at a young age. Over the past 5 yrs I've tried to change that n not follow them footsteps. I've been sober 21 mths n counting. I plan to be there for my two children whom I cherish and love with all my heart. I wanna make my mother proud and my dad.
- —Guest Barb Lil' Elk
- My dad has been drinking since his teen years which continued even when he had his family, "us". When I was a child I worshipped my parents. I always put them at top of everything. I did what they told me to do and even become a healthcare worker so that I can take care of them when they got older. But all of those changed after my graduation. I've seen the worst side of my father which I've never seen before. He would verbally abuse my mom whenever his drunk sometimes he even physically hurts her. When he is sober he pretends like nothing has happened and acts like a saint. He even loves to go to church. Aside from those torments he doesnt have a job and let's my mother to do all the work while he spends his time with his friends. We tried talking to him but he denies his alcohol problems. I couldn't stand his doings and we always have a go. Sometimes I want to kill him. Inject him with a poison or stab him with a knife. God I really hate him! But when he is sober I feel bad for him.
- —Guest Angelic guest
I can't even tell
- I can check most of the items on the quiz. I have a hard time relaxing and having fun. A part of me believes, very deeply, that it is inevitable that the people I trust will betray me. I have a list of the ones who have, and how, and how deep the betrayal was. Being vulnerable is gross to me. I think it makes me gross to others. But I still can't believe that this isn't the way everybody else feels.
- —Guest workingonit
- My dad is a drinker he still works but drinks almost very night, but he likes to keep it a secret. So basically it gets so annoying i found out about this a couple of years ago and I'm only 12. I fell like killing myself. and he loves me and I do too. I have a 20 year old sister and I have lived with her my whole life. She has gone to college and now I'm even too scared to live in my own home. I just want him to go away from me and my mom. It gets to annoying i make an excuse about three times everyday to go do a bath just to cry. :( this really helps to see that im not alone.
- —Guest anonymous
Im sick of it.
- My mom is a non-drinker, hard working, beautiful, woman who loves me so much. all though she is all that, she can be very stress ridden. My father is a drunk and my mom and him split (never got married) when i was about 8 months old. sometimes i will come home from school and my father will call me. He will start cussing at me and say im a piece of work and how my mom is just like me, an idiot. And that hurts. Alot. Sometimes he is drunk when i see him and it scares me. He insults my mom like crazy when he's drunk. When he's sober he still is mean. But it has changed me alot because he smokes to and he is getting near to his death bed. I wish things would get better. i reccomend talking to someone who is a non-drinker and explain what has been going on.
- —Guest depressed
Fed up and confused
- My dads been drinking for as long as I can remember. He's never physically hurt me, or my mom, but the emotional pain is prominent. He isn't really a daily drinker; he truly only drinks on weekends, but when he does, its bad. Once my mom and I had to drive to the hospital at 2 am because he'd passed out on a sidewalk downtown, and was unconscious for hours. He's thrown everything from tables to computers, and the sound of stumbling to the toilet and vomiting all night is all too familiar. I love my dad, but I'm fed up, and confused. The slight of a wine glass, or bottle of beer makes my stomach tighten and freaks my mind out. My mom is a very she gentle person who, to the best of my knowledge has only talked to him about it once.
- —Guest Ali Marie
- I was raised by alcoholics. I have always had difficulty keeping relationships girlfriends or wives.It would be great for a year or so and then I would just sabotage the relationship.I was a witness to incest and it made me sexually dysfunctional. I could only get into sex if it was dirty. If I fell in love I would lose interest. Recently had a relationship where I loved someone until it ended after six years. I still love her although I'm glad it ended because I hurt her. I finally was able to be intimate and we shared the same values. I had no idea that I had such a problem because my demons only came out when I was tired or stressed. I'm a workaholic. I work an average of 90 -100 hours a week. We even lived at my business. I really just thought i had an extreme version of the Midwestern work ethic. I was also a rescuer. It took this person leaving me to make me realize that I had a problem. I had repressed my memories for almost forty years. Now I'm searching for a way to heal.
- —Guest guest
- My mom drinks too much. She explodes on a dime. Growing up yelling was the norm. She is full of anger. Its made me a people pleaser while can be bad sometimes.
- —Guest mogirl
I inherited violence and childishness
- I'm 23 and I never felt quite normal. In fact, I sort of seek refuge in abnormal behavior and the attention it gets me. I feel just angry overall. My stepfather was a mean, violent, abusive drunk and now that I grew up and f-king got as mean as him (but stronger), he doesn't even dare raise his voice when I'm around. It makes me angry that the selfish ahole's such a kiddie now. I feel I should've confronted him earlier. Have a go at him when I was in my teens and still weak. I'd be able to feel proud of myself, maybe. I don't know. He frustrates me. Selfish punk.
- —Guest Guest...
66 and still having problems
- At age 66 you would think that the effects of being raised by alcoholic parents would become a moot point, but not so. My mother was a sloppy and mean drunk. This as opposed to the so called "happy drunk" or just plain mean drunk drunk. By sloppy, I mean the kind who sleeps all the time, falls down, pukes, pees everywhere etc. And who cleaned up the mess? You guessed it, me my twin and older brother when he was there. My dad escaped in his work and drank in secret, so he thought. We were left to deal with it. I have had three marriages and too numerous to count relationships. All three marriages dysfunctional without intimacy. In her last years she traded alcohol for psychotic type drugs like xanex etc. Anything to numb her from life. Reading the other responses from victims of alcoholics, I see other children who are suffering from the selfish actions of alcoholics, and I wish I could offer some kind of comfort to them. I can only say get out as soon as you can.
- —Guest ssuit
Pessimism is Contagious.
- My father has been an alcoholic for years, but I still love him. He has never beaten me or verbally abused me when drunk, but it has still affected me. I've found myself recently accepting the things he says about life not being worth it, and how it is unfair and cruel that we are forced to live. I've begun to agree with him, which scares me, because I don't want to be like him. I've blown off a lot of my friends and family for stupid fake reasons to cover that the real reason was that my dad was slovenly drunk and unable to walk, talk, or function at all. I've found myself plummeting deeper and deeper into this endless hole, and I feel myself giving up. My father has taught me that some things ARE impossible. I know he is not right, but I can't help the way I feel anymore. His thoughts have become mine, and I know that it is unhealthy.
- —Guest Anonymous