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Readers Respond: What Do You Do to Stop Friends or Love Ones From Driving Drunk?

Responses: 73

By , About.com Guide

Updated September 22, 2012

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Know both worlds

Started drinking at 13yrs. Old. My dad & grandfather drank heavy. It was a way to forget pain over a horrible accident I was in at 12yrs. Old. A bus accident that killed 6 kids & bus driver. I drank for 17yrs. & never thought I could stop. I was suicidal whole time. Finally at 31yrs. My older sister started going to aa. She invited me, didnt want to go. Hopeless misery. Took me 2 years to get 30 days sober. That was long ago. 37yrs. Sober! What helped me was aa & al anon/ for families of alcholics
—Guest theresa

Sadness

It's hard to see your best friend too drunk to stand. When you're a girl and he overpowers you in the parking lot outside the club trying to wrestle the keys away from you. When you're sober and he's very, VERY far from it. I love that dude like a brother, and I'm watching him lose control of himself and his life. Watching him put his life in danger on a near-nightly basis is beyond painful for me.
—Guest L

My boyfriend needs help

My boyfriend is 26 yrs old and is a chef without a degree. He only needs a few more classes to get it. He works 50 hours a week, comes home, drinks until he cant stand up straight, and often drives to go get food. I think he needs to hit rock bottom before he can realize what he's doing is hurting him. I have thought about calling the police in our town when he leaves to get food. I need some advice. Thanks.
—Guest pippiebeau

HELP THEM

First off, I am looking this up because I wanted to know what other people think of drunk driving. I'm glad to know that some people understand that even if your best friend hates you, it is still better to help then it is to let them driving with any alcohol in their system because FACTS AND STATISTICS HAVE PROVED that one drink can impair driving ability. Some of you think that according to statistics most are pulled over, STUPID. Have you seen recent stats!? The number of deaths has gone up and its because of people like some of you who thinks its okay to drive with alcohol in your system! Second of all, My mother lost her leg because of a drunk driving incident. She has to live the rest of her life like that because of foolish ignorant people who care only about having a good time! Am I biased? NO! I have seen the other side. i watched my friends and other kids my age and older lose people and get injured themselves! Can you tell me that's RIGHT?! OKay done ranting. :)
—Guest Smart Person

Drinking is bad

You can kill somebody's family and do serious damage.
—Guest relly

Riches to Rags

I've known my friend since middle school and that was at almost 20 years ago. He was severely injured in a car accident by a drunk driver back in college, recovered miraculously, and then received a huge settlement. Now he's the drunk behind the wheel. Already being a party guy on campus, it got worse post-college. He quit his good paying job and went on party spree. The first DUI meant nothing to him as did the second. Now he is on his third DUI, which could have been fatal for him, dirt poor from partying and lawyer fees, no job, chain smokes, looks and smells like crap, and still insists that he doesn't have a drinking problem. A little bit of jail time and he's back at it. Since his family doesn't think much of it, I try to do my best to give him words of advice, but just goes in one ear and out the other. At times I feel that I should stop trying to help him since he never listens, but I also don't want to turn my back on him since we've been friends for the longest time. Now what?
—Guest D

Holding on

I have been in detox facilities 3 times in my life I always go back thinking I can just have a few, it never stays that way. Just recently I fell off the wagon hard, 4 bottles of wine a day for over two weeks. It is day 4 of no alcohol. I feel awful the sweats are the worst I ever have experienced, it happens all day, & I have to change my clothes 2 to 3 times a night & not sleeping good. I am trying to eat well & I can't get enough water in me, so thirsty all the time. I am to ashamed now to see Doctor so I am trying to do this by myself. I know if I drink again I will loose my family. I am so scared & feel I just want to get drunk & die. I won't commit suicide cause God won't except me. This is my first post. I thought I would post, because I read so many inspirational posts on this site. I am trying so hard. Not easy though. wish me luck.
—TOMA1088

Whatever it Takes

If you want to see them again, you do whatever it takes.
—pcannon2

victim of drunk driver

1st, responding on this article. My husband was killed by a drunk driver, he did not drink, nor I. He is gone, I am left with a scar through my lip to my chin, plus more, I call all bars in my area on new years eve, my little shit-zu and I will drive them home, if needed! thank you for reading this!
—Guest sandy dunson/morse

Drunk Friends

My daughter's best friend's mom drinks all day, then drives the kids around to their activities. Her daughter is afraid to drive with her. My daughter is afraid to drive with her. My daughter is now forbidden to drive with her. When I told the mom, she said I was being "hurtful" and causing drama. Alcoholics have a funny way of thinking.
—Guest Guest Mary

Not just about you

When one is attempted to take just one more drink remember life is not just about you. Think about the people that you may harm or kill on your drive home and the loved ones that will be left behind. Tough love is necessary to keep drunk individuals to get behind the wheel of a vehicle. If you are unable to deter them, offer them a ride home or redirect them before they over consume, YOU are part of the problem. Perhaps you need to walk away from the situation and let them know that it is their obligation to society to be a responsible drinker or not drink at all.
—Guest Diane P. Stremlau

Can't stop them

You can't stop the person if you aren't around unfortunately. My son 21 yrs old drinks and drives from what I've heard. I've talked to him many times and he assures me he's not. My husband is a state trooper! My son is in nursing school and will be kicked out and ruin his life if he is arrested. He could also be injured,dead or kill or injure someone else! I can only pray to God that he comes to his senses.
—Guest kalamazoo

The other side of the issue

First let me state right up front that truly drunk drivers do not belong anywhere near a steering wheel. Fortunately these are the ones who are the easiest to convince to let someone else take them home or wait around for a while. The rest are those are who are below or near the legal level. The stat I heard was that drunks were a factor in 12,000 deaths a year but 1.2 million were stopped and charged with DUI. Assuming EVERY drunk driver was arrested (and we no that's nowhere near true) we would have a ratio of 1%. So this tells us that you are 99% more likely to get arrested and loose your permit than you are to be involved in a fatal accident. This is why you get hated for calling the cops and supposedly doing a friend a favor. Statistically you (as a savior) are a bigger threat than accidents. Given the bias of this discussion I don't expect many will agree with this but progress starts with frank discussion and listening.
—Guest lmcroos

I hide the keys and/ or call the police

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. I wish there had been an adult to help. The consequences are in place to protect the drinker and other drivers. Sadly, I went on to repeat my parent's behavior, but have since come to my senses. Luckily, no one got hurt physically. But the emotional damage lives on in the whole family.
—Guest Drakesque

Another Grandson who Drinks and Drives

I read here another grandmothers telling of her grandson's DUIs and his life ruined. They have a saying in 12 step programs...Well actually a word. "Yet" Now that frightens me because my grandson hasn't got in accident yet or stopped by a cop "yet" I have thought to call the police and spoke to my son, do not give him keys to his car, well the one my son pays for. Now at age 22 he drinks all day and all night and I warned of alcoholic poisoning and the words dead or Kills someone. They say tough love. .Let go and let God. I feel for all here who feel responsible for others who don"t seem to care.
—kate_8

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What Do You Do to Stop Friends or Love Ones From Driving Drunk?

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