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Readers Respond: What Do You Do to Stop Friends or Love Ones From Driving Drunk?

Responses: 61


Updated October 09, 2014

The other side of the issue

First let me state right up front that truly drunk drivers do not belong anywhere near a steering wheel. Fortunately these are the ones who are the easiest to convince to let someone else take them home or wait around for a while. The rest are those are who are below or near the legal level. The stat I heard was that drunks were a factor in 12,000 deaths a year but 1.2 million were stopped and charged with DUI. Assuming EVERY drunk driver was arrested (and we no that's nowhere near true) we would have a ratio of 1%. So this tells us that you are 99% more likely to get arrested and loose your permit than you are to be involved in a fatal accident. This is why you get hated for calling the cops and supposedly doing a friend a favor. Statistically you (as a savior) are a bigger threat than accidents. Given the bias of this discussion I don't expect many will agree with this but progress starts with frank discussion and listening.
—Guest lmcroos

I hide the keys and/ or call the police

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. I wish there had been an adult to help. The consequences are in place to protect the drinker and other drivers. Sadly, I went on to repeat my parent's behavior, but have since come to my senses. Luckily, no one got hurt physically. But the emotional damage lives on in the whole family.
—Guest Drakesque

Another Grandson who Drinks and Drives

I read here another grandmothers telling of her grandson's DUIs and his life ruined. They have a saying in 12 step programs...Well actually a word. "Yet" Now that frightens me because my grandson hasn't got in accident yet or stopped by a cop "yet" I have thought to call the police and spoke to my son, do not give him keys to his car, well the one my son pays for. Now at age 22 he drinks all day and all night and I warned of alcoholic poisoning and the words dead or Kills someone. They say tough love. .Let go and let God. I feel for all here who feel responsible for others who don"t seem to care.


I do not drink myself, thus I don't go out - but I know for a fact that a close friend of mine has been driving under the influence of alcohol. How can I convince her to stop? I don't want to lose a friend or (especially since I will be living with her next year) and I certainly don't want her to be the cause of another's death. The biggest problem for me is that I have no idea how to approach the subject without seeming judgmental and harsh. Advice would be absolutely welcome.
—Guest Anonari


After posting my first help response I want people to understand in order to call the police and stop someone you need to know where they are and when they leave! I never know either! All I ever see is the stumbling out of the truck and trying to walk to the door! Please don't think I am afraid of losing a friendship I can't pinpoint anything and feel like again the sneaky alcoholic wins! Makes me sick!
—Guest lynne


I left my boyfriend of 6 years for this reason! I don't know how to stop him before it's too late. Any suggestions? He is also a retired town policeman and thinks he is above the law and his friends will help him out of any trouble.
—Guest lynne

Are you kidding me!

I don't care how much time, trouble or money it takes and I don't care if I lose the friendship -- if I can't stop a person from driving drunk I will call the police. That phone call could save a life. What's more important, saving a life or the bother of losing a friendship of someone who doesn't care about who his drunkeness hurts?
—Guest Lindas Immortal Alcoholic

Drunk friends

My best friend has a boyfriend that thinks it's cool to drink and drive with her babies in the car. We just got into a huge fight last night because he had two beers and wanted to take his five year old old daughter with him. I said, hell no! This caused a huge fight between me and my friend and him. So, I will never talk to those losers again. I hate them. they are going to kill their children and I won't be a part of that when it goes down.
—Guest robin

What to do?

I was at basketball and my mom picked me up and I think she was drunk. I don't know what to do. Help!
—Guest help123

What Constitution?

The problem here is the deterioration of rights. This is getting close to martial law. There are cases where people are injured when their blood is taken by force. This is a medical procedure, yet in some states the officers can take the blood themselves. There is more concern with collecting "evidence" than personal rights or safety. People shouldn't drink and drive, and the police can get convictions without shredding the Constitution. The police are lazy. If people think this is so good should we have house to house searches and inspections? We could find drugs, unsanitary conditions, fire hazards and all kinds of nasty stuff. It's a shame people don't understand living in a free country. We used to have the Soviet Union and other totalitarian states as examples of what not to be. Now nobody notices as our liberties are one by one taken away. Death by a thousand paper cuts.
—Guest Denny in Dayton

Getting a DUI sucks

Ive been drinking since 16. I am now a 42 year old alcoholic with two DUIs and my life is a total mess. So the best thing to do is not drink! At least have them leave the car keys at home and have a sober driver drive.
—Guest Jill

There is only one answer!

The only way to guarantee that you won't drink and drive again... is NOT to drink! I can not take the chance to ruin my life anymore... or anyone else's... by getting another DUI.
—Guest Julie

In response to "sad case"

Maybe the person should have worried about the consequences of the DUI before they do something so foolish. Punishment for our actions is what makes us think twice. While a DUI can tarnish someone, I wonder how damaging you feel a death could be as a result of drunk driving. Please do not be selfish.
—Guest angie gillespie

To guest meow 139

I'm sorry Baby that you are in this position at a young age. It is important that you think about yourself. There are things that you cannot control and it's good that you express your concern but I do not want you to feel responsible for your dad. He is the grown up and he deals with his problems. I wish you had more support from adults around you. Take care of your young life.

My experience

I can speak for myself as a recovering sober alcoholic. My job like so many other jobs requires a clean record. I wouldn't drive after two drinks and if If was on a roll I had a family member drive me to the liquor store. I'm not proud of it but it worked. Since being in AA I am frightened that so many blackout drinkers drive. I had a best friend who was partying with me and she fought with me when I tried to take her keys. She got half way home driving her little daughter with her and had to sleep it off at her parent's home because she didn't want her husband to know. This friend is long time dead now from blacking out and hitting her head.
—Guest live and learn
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