- My husband thinks its ok he has done it since he was sixteen i have drank since i was thirteen. HE IS SICK. HE WONT CHANGE but i know i have to change or my children wont have any parents with God all things are possible . I. pray for all addicts and there families to have hope faith and. sobriety in Jesus name
- —Guest sherri
Don't Know Where To Begin
- I was in a relationship with an alcoholic for four years and he recently died. He got fired from jobs and I paid his bills, his rent, his everything. He disregarded my feelings and sexually abused me. I hate to admit that at times I was physically abusive to him. The worse thing is that I brought him his booze! He would get so sick when he didn't have any that I thought that if I gave him a little I could control how much he drank. He would gulp it all down at once and not save it. He would be sick the next day when I was at work. He also panhandled to get more money for booze and also cigarettes. I felt sorry for him and didn't want him to be homeless. He eventually stopped eating and they still don't know what killed him. Was it his liver or a bleeding ulcer. The worse thing is I lied to his kids about buying him the booze. I didn't want them to be mad.
- —Guest Sera
Living with a alcoholic
- Yes i am living with a alcoholic and he stop drinking on new years day. Its only been 5 days and even though i'm hopeful i'm also scared that he'll go back. I tell him that i'll support him if he stops but if he continues drinking at the end of the day he's the only one that will be disappointed. When he talks about his drinking he sounds sad and i just don't know what to say. I just listen and when i put in my 2 cents in he tells me i sound like a counselor. I don't want to get hopeful that he'll stop. I just wish i knew what to say when he talks about his drinking he just sounds so sad.
- —Guest marie
- I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now, it will be our anniversary tomorrow, in which case I have decided that I've given this relationship my best and I am hopeless to his drinking. I loved enough to enable his habits to persist because I thought that asking him to drink less would fix it. And all this time my 12 year old daughter is exposed to agruements where he cannot take accountability for his own behaviours. I tried to reason with him and talk nicely about how I don't feel loved due to his lack of emotional attachment and he throws it back into my face to say I'm a nag. He's missed car payments and other financial obligations where I've bailed him out all because money has gone to booze, and physical violence has become a normal part of our conversations, and yet I know he is so capable of so many good things and I try to stick by him and give encouragement and all kinds of support. I thought he really loved me, but not enough put his addiction behind.
- —Guest jesse jess
Dont know what to say
- Yes, i see myself in theses stories i was the alcoholic. I feel ashamed for it and have been told by my wife of 23 years she is done and tired. She said she needed space and distance. So, as painful as it might be i did. I truly, love my wife. Therefore l, have reached out for help and have begun alcoholic :meetings and sought therapy for other issues. I have gained new skills on combating this illness. I know how i have tried on my own but to no avail. I need help. This is just the beginning so time will tell. She told me she was is tired of the empty promises and needs a break that i could even stay in the living room until we fix other arrangements. But would not be able to stand the sight of her and not be able to hold her. I want change but i cannot change me so i have support groups and my God to do this for me, yet at the end it is still my choice. With the new support and new skills i must do this. I'm so sorry and when my family see me again they will see that strong Marine.
- —Guest wow
I need help!
- I am concerned about my friend's drinking. In the last years we have gone from co-workers to best of friends. Her family and friends discovered she was an alcoholic when she no longer could hide it when she was hospitalized. After discharge she went through the motions and took the professional help that was given. She stopped drinking and got pregnant. Now that she has had the baby I noticed she has started drinking again, with a newborn at home... I am very concerned. I believe she is oblivious to the fact that I or anybody has even noticed (even denied it to another) because I think she believes she is doing a great job at concealing it. I need help in approaching the topic with her, she has no significant other or family close enough to notice there is a problem or support her. Everytime I speak to her other best friend about it she reacts surprised at the issue even after I showed her proof. I don't she is willing to confront the issue.. I am feeling very alone in this
- —Guest guest
- I pray that all of you will choose life. I know how hard it is to live a life with an alcoholic . I know how it is so tempting to let them drink and be ok with it because they love u more when u let them. In my life my husband has abused alcohol and verbally abused me. Ther have been good times and bad. But as I become more educated on the subject. I have realized u can't go along with their behavior and enable the sickness, u can't make them get help, you can't force them to choose to put the bottle down , to choose life. But u, u can choose life. U can make a difference like I have had to do. Even if that means u kick them out.! Do it! U deserve better and do do your kids! They need to learn its unacceptable behavior and don't be afraid to talk to the kids.let them know when dad has had a drink, that he is sick and needs help! Don't be afraid, there is a God and he loves u so much he has sent his son to live and die for u and your alcoholic .your alcoholic must not deceive u anymore!
- —Guest Wife of an alcoholic
- After 30 years of denial with two husbands I've opened my eyes ! I can only think of my bad choices that have made me who I am . My children are grown and flourishing . I left their father and ran into the arms of a man who was worse than their dad . I've spent the last 10 years trying to fix another addict . For 10 months I've been working on me . The anger in my husband has finally caught up with him and he is paying for his sins . He will probably go to prison for a long time . Sad part is I have no reason to be dysfunctional now . It was easy when I could blame him . But how do I face what I've become . Disappointment is inevitable but Discouragement is a choice ! I still hate me as much as I did in my 10 foster homes . I'm 46 and tell myself I shall live and not die ! Cant even trust me . Help me Jesus to come out of this pit . You are the only love I know .
- —Guest T for tired
Love yourself first!
- If you have children you are lying to yourself if you think it's what is best for them if you stay! We teach them what is acceptable behavior and alcoholism is never acceptable. Each time you look in their eyes remind yourself of what you want for them..how do you want others to treat them?....if you truly want the best for them you need to show them by allowing yourself the same. Loving someone who is an alcoholic isn't wrong but letting them take away happy moments is wrong. The key to happiness is self worthiness! You are worthy of a smile and laughter! Draw the line pick up your socks and find friends in similar situations it is easier to cope when you know you are not alone. Every day is a new day what you do today is important because you will never get this day back let it be great! Much love to anyone reading this and I hope you find your way!
- —Guest U r stronger then u think
Look after yourself
- I have lived with an alcoholic for 7 years, helped him through cancer recovery, loved him and hoped he would appreciate life. But nope, he still drinks. The result of his alcoholic to me is continues mental suffering, recent lost job because I was consistently in angry mood. Take care please. What happens now? I decided to quit this relationship, and move on. Do not bother to help an alcoholic, let him be so, but stay away, and move on, let it go. Life is short, don't let anyone destroy your life.
- —Guest Self Helper
Loving an alcoholic
- I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic for almost two years and I love him with all my heart but I don't think I can take much more. He totally disregards me and my feelings. He lies and he has even cheated. I feel like I am in a pit and cannot see light anymore. I know he keeps saying he loves me but he doesn't even love himself. He is an ego-maniac with no self-esteem. I don't want to leave him but I know I deserve better than this. I am a good person and would stay forever if I honestly thought he wanted to be helped but it really does not seem that he does. I know that I play into this because I keep accepting his excuses and I want so badly to believe the lies that I know he is telling me. It is starting to affect my mental health and my spiritual well-being... I am so hurt and I just don't want to give up on him. I know that I am supposed to love everyone, according to Biblical teachings but he is pushing me towards hate. Please God? Help me?
- —Guest Mischelle
Enabling easier than letting go...
- I saw myself in this article. This morning my adult alcoholic son, who once again came home to stay for awhile after losing yet another job. I finally got him to go to AA, the rule being no drinking or smoking in the house. This was to be a house of healing, a safe place. The story is probably familiar. He drank, there were burns on the carpet and the chair and vomit on the floor. We got into it and he left. Somehow it was my fault. I made him go to meetings that were pointless. I feel totally betrayed as he violated the trust we gave him - yet again! Now I read that I totally played into the disease. I am going to al alon tonight. I can't do this anymore. His parting words to me? "This will end one of 2 ways. It (the liquor) will kill me or I will find a way to beat it. I only wish I had the courage to die."
- —Guest JustAMom
I am still a mess
- I got involved with an alcoholic when he was 28 & I was 37. I had been married twice before to troubled men - I always think I can fix everybody & everything, I am a strong and good person. Well after living with my now ex alcoholic husband I am so tired, emotionally drained and feel like life is over, I am now 62 & he is 53. I beat myself up emotionally because of my age, which, I know I can't help. I was with him 20 years, and filed for a divorce on a fit of anger, to this day he makes me feel like something non-human, but calls me when he feels lonely, and then won't answer the phone if he knows it's me. People tell me I am out of my mind to have anything to do with him, it is just so hard to know all my time with him was all in vain. I don't want to live with him, I just want to be on friendly terms with him & I think he is mad that I divorced him. He tells me when I do see him that he is dying from some kind of cancer or he is going to put a bullet to his head. Any advice
- —Guest Diane
- my husband used to drink heavily. but occasionally. gradually now he drinks twice a week. he goes to the beer bar . Before he used to drink at home but from last 20 months he goes to the beer bar and comes at dawn time. whole night i wait for him and call him like a crazy and thinking this is the last time but it never ends. i don't know what to do. because of this we usually have a fight we hurt each other. i tried to suicide many times infront of him but nothing stops him.Everyday i pray to God to change him but god doesn't listen my problem.
- —Guest aaaaaaaaaaa
Husband blames me for his drinking
- I left a 32 year old marriage because of my husband's drinking. Most of those years we good but the drinking accelerated after then kids were born until he became addicted. He now has end stage liver disease and is in and out of hospital, emergency admittance because of pnuemonia, infections, fevers etc. He is in denial all the time and just 2 days ago said that I was the root cause of his drinking because I "organised all those parties with the wine flowing freely". What a load of rubbish - I'm incredulous at his ability to completely fool himself that he had anything to do with his alcoholism. He even spreads that message to his siblings; it's easier to blame the wife who left him (I moved 250 miles away) than look at himself. It has been so difficult for me, even though we are separated I have tried to maintain a friendship for the sake of our children but to be the scapegoat is just too much when I see how the drinking has destroyed my marriage, his health and my kids father.
- —Guest Marie