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Readers Respond: What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

Responses: 323

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Updated September 22, 2012

Scared cont..

....till he gets help. I finally came out of denial and want to make my childrens life as happy as I can and if that means leaving him then I will have to. As sad as it makes me I have 2 very beautiful children to put before myself and learning from an alcoholic dad is not going to do them any good. It tears me up inside that we have the porential to be a happy family but alcohol is ruining it. I HATE it. We were planning our whole life together. And its up to him to change. And I dont know if he will :, (
—Guest daryan

Scared...

Im reading these stories crying... not only because they are sad but because im living the same life as all of you. I just realized I was in denial about my fiances alcoholism last night. He has been emotionally/ verbally/ mentally abusing me for 3 years. We have a 21 month old son and a 1 month old son and he has promised me so many times that he would quit it is unfathomable. He has pushed me into a tree because I was trying to leave and begged me on his hands and knees sobbing begging me to stay. He has tried physically cheating on me with one of my best friends, texted her for a week behind my back every night while he would get drunk and sit outside while I was sleeping, telling her that I was unfaithful and he doesnt feel like im his anymore and wanting to be with her even though they didnt even know each other.as I was writing this I got a call from my grandma and broke down to her and she told me to pack a few things of mine and the kids and we are staying with her.
—Guest daryan

Broken

I am 26 years old my husband is the same age, he has a bad drinking habit, which he don't think he seems to have! Him and I have a one year old daughter together and another baby on the way. Ive tried so many things to try to make him wanna change. He verbally abusive when he's drunk he is so mean when he drunk he tells me he hopes I die and he wouldn't give a crap or he wishes I was dead, that I'm a piece of crap and a bad mother which I know he is wrong!! Everytime he drinks he want to take off to the store driving or walking to go get more beer no matter the time 1am and expects me to take him along with my daughter..he broken my car window cuz I wouldn't give him the keys or wallet. Idk what to do anymore ive threatened him ive left so Many times and he always says he sorry and it will never happen again, and he doesn't mean what he says when he drunk ive been going threw this almost 4 years now I want him to change but I know deep down he won't. I left and not once he's came to look for me.
—Guest Sad Woman

All but leaving

I have tried everything I can think of to stop my husband drinking. The thing is he knows he drinks too much and is always apologetic about it but never does anything about it. He can be nasty when he drinks and he hates it but still doesn't stop. I know he isn't addicted to the alcohol itself but uses it as an anti depressant drug but even he knows it doesn't work. He has said he will quit and go to as on many times but actually getting him to go seems impossible as he has a problem bit isn't an alcoholic as he sees it. I want to help him but if I can't I don't know what to do. I can't stay like this but I don't want to leave him over something that can be beaten if he tried.
—Guest Sarah

At the end of my rope

What have i tried to get someone to stop drinking? I've tried everything short of leaving and/or making him leave. The only way i think i can get him to leave is by a court order. He is a stay at home dad/has his own summer time part time business. This would work very well if he wouldn't start drinking every day before 3pm, sometimes its 11am i'm sure. We've discussed the amount he drinks, and he admits to 10-15 beers a day. He goes through a 30pack in at least 2 days i'm sure. His mental capacities are going, he sits around talking to himself or blows up at me and my kids. I've had enough, he needs to go or hit bottom. Yesterday he found out that his part time business is in jeopardy because of new state regulations. He sat in the basement blaming me and saying things to my kids that were scary. He says i'm trying to hide it from him. He's lost his mind, and i can't live with a crazy person. What do i do?
—mkb1979

Sad disease

My husband almost died and was hospitalized from liver cirrhosis he is young and a great person when sober. He will stay sober for a while then go on a binge. I am worried he will die but I have tried everything....sympathy, threats, etc. He has tried AA and counseling but when he's drinking he doesn't listen. I love him but his choices are ruing his life and mine. I have been so loyal and tryin to help nothing works! Time to let him fall and hope he can pick himself up. What can I do? Nothing
—Guest Guest

Don't know what to do

My mom has been an alcoholic for majority of my life. Things got worse when my auntie (her sister) died and then my stepdad left. She began drinking heavily, not paying much attention to me, getting into arguments with other family members. Over time she's become more verbally abusive when drunk. She's 52 years old and still thinks that drinking is okay to do. I've asked her why she has to drink so much and she calls me a dead beat and that I must be so much better than her and called her self a low-life. My children are becoming older and I don't want them exposed to her when she's drunk. I want to tell her that she's not to see them or call when she's drunk anymore, but I'm afraid that will cause her drinking to get worse. She's been lying to me about things (some major like having another sister) for majority of my life. I don't know what to do.
—Guest Michelle

Always mean

My boyfriend is a wonderful man with a caring heart. Ever since he started his job as a bartender he has changed so drastically to the point where he is drinking himself to sleep every night. He has a million reasons to "why" he needs to drink and won't accept any healthier alternatives that I offer. When he begins his binge every night I never know what I get. Sometimes he is so mean and cruel with his words... It's like he finds your inner most insecurities and attacks those at full force for no good reason. He's broken our things and peed in strange places (i.e. in the bed/closet/corner of the room) in his drunken stupor. I am so fed up yet I feel so weak and powerless. He breaks up with me if I mention that he has a problem and turns it around on me with his made up logic instead of admitting to the problem. I have no clue where to start as he is always feeling attacked no matter how I voice my concerns or how carefully I step when starting the conversation. Help!
—Guest Anon

Drunk husband

For more than ten years now,my husband is still drinking. At first i thought he would change. After reading all these posts i have made up my mind to leave. Kids are suffering too much because i wasn't strong enough to leave and am scared of hurting my kids more because i am hurting too.
—Guest Javiixzon

Drunk son

My son has been a drunk for 7 years and is married 7 separated for 1 1/2 years, she wants nothing to do with him except make him pay for his son which I don't blame her! but he can't because he drinks to much, lost his job. Came out of rehab a month ago doing good without a job and looking online for something maybe school ing to get a better job. He went to visit a friend yesterday and drove home drunk! very disappointed, tired and want him out, don't know how to get him out with no place for him to go! no money for fancy rehabs and I can't deal with it anymore. I have my own problems almost loosing my husband, my dad died and my sister in law had cancer and died all in the same year. I can't help him! Sometimes I just want to check out of this place and see my dad.
—icanttakeitany

Please Stop

Right, I have recently turned 10 years old and I realised that my mum is drinking more and more everyday. i dont know what to do. It is hard for me to concentrate on my work while she is having a blast out with 4 other friends. On Wendesday 20th I am going to kingswood for 2 days. And When I come back I bet you my mum will be drunk agian. My dad is trying to help my mum, but my mum is getting worse. I tryed to help and talkt o her but she says shes fine and she will change from now on. Then the next week after school is see my mum drunk agian. I also have a little sis thats 4 years old and my mum really is nice to my sister when she is drunk, but when shes drunk shes horrible to me. Litrelly, please help me!
—Guest Kamilla

Let Him drink

26 yr old son drinks alone in home hides alcohol. binge drinks. works part time ,getting his bachelors in Dec. Alcoholism on both sides of family .Should we allow him to drink in home.. devastated. Dealt with first son with similar problem, however different personality.
—Guest christine

Dad doesn't want help

My dad is going through a really hard part of his life and what he doesn't know it is really hard for me too. My parents are divorced and I don't get to see him as often as I want, but when I am there he is normal drunk and when I ask his gf when he started she says as soon as he woke up. It makes me mad, because he just isn't wrecking his own life he is affecting mine too. I love my dad and I couldn't stand to lose him! He just doesn't get it. He thinks he is going to be fine. I have talked to him about how I feel about his drinking and he says he is fine and not to worry about him, but he isn't fine. He just doesn't get it, and how am I not going to worry about him he is my dad!!
—Guest 

Trying to stop myself Drinking

I feel the pain in all of the stories I am a horrible nasty abusive MONSTER when drunk iv hurt my children mother and lost a wonderful partner.I hate alcohol and what it does to me I want to stop drinking alcohol
—Guest murrin

My mum

My mum just picked up another drink after getting back from rehab a few weeks ago. She tells me she is fine but I dont know whether she really is. She says not to tell my dad who has been really horrible to her verbally and I don't know who else I could possibly tell. I am stuck and worries plus i have exams coming up for my High School Certificate in a week. Its not her fault though as it has been in her family for 7 generations. I cannot blame her.
—Guest wj

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What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

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