From the article: How Can I Get Him to Stop?
Friends and family members of alcoholics and addict try all kinds of tactics to try to get their love one to stop drinking. Please share what you have done to try to get the alcoholic in your life to stop and what the results were. Post Your Answer
Every single frikin weekend
- Hi, I've been dealing with my moms alcohol problems every since around 2008. And yes it's tiring you feel like you need to do something about it.... The problem is you can't. It's gotten worse and worse every weekend night. I luckily have a friend to help me get through it. But what I do is I threaten to go to my dads house which is in a different state... She says she doesn't care but I know she does. Once I even threatened to kill myself (I wouldn't have tho) and she didn't care. I am just tired of it and then when I leave the room after telling her to stop drink she talks crap about me.
- —Hated2death
Doesn't Seem Like A Problem
- im 22, an i drink occasionally i never got drunk, i drink with my uncle, my boss, and friends. My parents are not supportive of me drinking i respect that. But now im getting confused; i dont have a problem drinking, but the fact of me drinking is pulling us apart? Why can't the other person (being my mom and dad) realize that this can be a controlled thing? I guess reading the above posts, some people are not lucky and lose control. But what is it about drinking alcohol that sets there family and friends and gf's against them right away without analysing how the person drinks, even if they never had a problem with it? I think this shouldn't be dismissed as a problem right away, i know people suffer from it, families do but i think if taking alcohol to a different level and adding self discipline to it you should not have a problem.
- —Guest Jonthon
Dangerously ill
- I've been with my boyfriend for 7 long years. The only time he stays sober is when he gets thrown in prison for dui. He makes promises that he won't keep yet I keep hoping it'll change. he has liver disease and hep c so they won't even begin to give him treatment till he stops drinking. I've tried everything from detaching to enabling oh and rescuing him. I'm at my wits end and I'm fixin to throw in the towel. Not because I don't love him but because I'm going insane and its not fair for me to have to live in constant turmoil. He is anti aa meetings and he has been through a rehab where he does very good but when he gets out its business as usual. Oh and have I mentioned its always my fault he drinks. he is waking up this morning from a black eye he somehow got when his friends carried him home. He will wake up with excuses and apologies and he won't drink today. He will wait a few days and then my nightmare will begin all over again unless I do something different.
- —Guest fed up
Husband
- My husband and I have been together for about 7 years and have been married for 4 of them. He used to drink alot when we first met and I had gotten him to slow down on his drinking for a while. Then about 3 years ago I got hurt in a horse accident and everything went down hill from there. I went back to work 6 months after my accident. He started drinking more and stopped paying the bills. He has been making me pay all the bills the last two years and we are barely able to live on what I make. I have tried reasoning with him. I have tried yelling and crying. I have tried leaving him as much as it hurt. I just do not know what to do anymore. He drinks a case of beer a day and I have tried to show him how much he spends on alcohol every month and he just blows it off like it is nothing. I am hurt and confused because I just do not know what to do anymore. I absolutely hate watching him act so selfish and be so inconsiderate. It just tears me up because he does not want to grow up.
- —Guest sad and confused
Hurting
- I've known my husband for almost 12 years now, we have a 9 year old and a 2 year old. We divorced over his drinking before and 3 years ago I took him back because I thought things had changed, that's when my son was born. He was even drunk during both of my children's births. Now that I think about it, he is in love with the alcohol, not me. I want him to leave but I fear that I won't be able to handle the financial responsiblities on my own. I feel so trapped. I am not in love with him anymore. I need help.
- —Guest Pamela060376
Im slowing giving up
- Well I am 19 and been with my boyfriend for four years I know he has a drinking problem but wont admit it he comes home drunk every weekend and he is such a different person I tried leaving him but i never go through with i really dont know what to do. he gets very violent
- —Guest sad one
Pregnant
- My boyfriend and I are having a baby. Got pregnant when he was sober, though he smoked pot everyday and wouldn't commit to AA. I'm an alcoholic and I knew that this would lead to relapse, pleaded and pleaded to no avail. Now he's drinking again. I'm so scared. I want to tell someone, to ask for help, but I don't want to betray his trust. I want to move in with my parents but I'm afraid of what he'll do alone. I've been praying and trying to turn it over to a higher power but I think eventually I'll still have to act. I just don't know what to do or where to turn.
- —Guest Helpless
Family problem
- I am a recovering alcohol. I reunited with the still drinking alcoholics in my family at Thanksgiving. Their drinking was kind of hard for me but they really were on their best behavior. Now I get e-mails, phone calls where my mother is blaming everything on my brother. They both have been drinking for 30 years. They wanted me to come back to visit. So I had to be honest and tell them I can't be around people who are drinking. So my mother blamed my brother. Now it's been a couple days of drama (just like the old days). I finally told her it wasn't just my brother, it was her too. Broke a big taboo. I am tired of the secrets, so I just told the truth. Since I'm an alcoholic myself, I know she's not gonna quit or my brother because they don't want to. The other family members just sit there and watch them both get drunk and don't say anything. I feel strongly because I know how hard it is to quit. I also know either of them could die at any time. So I just told the truth.
- —Guest fish
Should I jump ship?
- I am in love with my ex even though we split up 8 years ago because he used to pass out drunk, no job, he would steal money from me and my kids. Now we are together and engaged he told me he didn't drink anymore and was saved. We served God together and fell in love . He has a great heart. He relapsed a few weeks ago and now he drinks everyday. Started becoming physical by throwing me down and he punched me in my face. He says over again he is going to quit, he has spent his whole pay check on beer and his family robbing him. He now gives me his check after he takes money out for his disease. He left last night after I caught him drinking and went to his drug addict alcoholic brothers house. He said he can't live sober but he hasn't tried actually doing AA we have went together but he won't do the steps and give his all. He said Alcohol has taken 20 yrs of his life. Hes on probation, if I turn my back on him he will end up in prison for 15. I have kids and I don't want to ruin our life
- —Guest hurt
My husband has aproblem
- My husband has a big problem of drinking after work and then on day off he has make sure there beer in the frig. He can get drunk or to the point he can't feel nothing. Like one time he fall down the front step into the flowerbed and my daughter come home from work and found him . And this is getting to the point that I'm already move out of the bedroom and he don't even care. I tried tell he need to get help. Tonight he told me he will talk to the doctor ,but I have to see that because of 10 years.I'm tried of this,of being married to him 32 years, he didn;t even care.
- —Guest nipper
I have been there - sad to say
- The love of my life was/is an alcoholic. We left each other 30 years ago this month. We were together for 10 years. I did not recognize him when he got drunk, and it only got worse. Good luck to all.
- —ellenwolfie
Denial
- My husband grew up in a small town in Mexico and it is the norm there for all men to drink beer or your not a man, therefore he has been drinking since he was 15 yrs. old. He is now 62 yrs. old and we have been married for 39 years. He is not abusive but on edge by 8 pm because he hasn't eaten. Well he'll eat a big breakfast and the beer is lunch then will stop drinking around 11pm by then he has had about 10 beers per night. He has stopped before but only for about two weeks then starts again or stop right before a blood test. He says he's not an Alcoholic because he is not drinking first thing in the morning and not out in the street falling down. What do I tell him? How do I get him to stop? I know he is hurting himself.
- —Guest Margaret
Disappointing mother
- My mother is not the worst drinker. Her friends are worse than her sometimes. But tonight I feel like crying so hard. It is 4:48 a.m. My mom"hooked up" with a dude she met at my grandmother's Christmas party. She "hooked up" with him that night too. I want to slap him so bad since he's just using her when she's drunk. I'm thinking about confronting him when he wakes up or whenever my mother isn't near. Even though I'm only 13 I'm mature for my age. I want him to know that it's sick to use a drunken woman twice and when her daughter is in the room next door. I know it may seem I'm ranting about him but if it want for mom's drinking this wouldn't be happening. Tomorrow, actually today since it's 5 am I'm going to confront my mother about this. Since I'm 13 I feel this might be one of the most awkward conversations for both of us.
- —Guest Sad & disappointed daughter
Still Have Faith
- I've been thru' every part of the cycle with my partner until I asked him to leave six months ago. I still see him on a regular basis and I still love him. He is spiraling out of control, recently banned from driving after being stopped by the police six times over the limit. He nearly went to prison for three months. I wish he had. He would have lost his house, his job and a lot else besides, but it would have dried him out. He accepts he is alcoholic but that's as far as we have got. It has taken us to hell and back and we haven't moved much further on. Why oh why can an alcoholic not be sectioned under the mental health act?? My fella says he doesn't want to wake up each time he goes to bed. This is a man who is mentally ill and I can't persuade him to go to the doctor, I've tried everything. He lives back home, his parents are enablers, covering up the embarrassment they feel by not talking about it. I am watching my man die slowly and painfully. He is such a lovely man, what to do.
- —Guest Beyond Sad
What Haven't I Tried?
- My husband is an alcoholic. He knows he has a problem and says that he wants to quit, but I wonder if he is just telling me what I want to hear. When we first got together I had a job paying me good money, I had a car, and I was very stable. Now I am desperately searching for a job because he never wanted me to work and he lost his. We had to sell my car because he would spend all of our money on alcohol instead of my car payment. I have tried yelling, crying, reasoning, I talked to his family, I talked to my family, and I tried leaving him for a short time. When I left him I went to my mother's house who is also an alcoholic so it wasn't much of an escape for my kids and me. At this point, I feel like I just need to get into a stable position in my life and decide from there what to do. My fear is that he will never quit and I will be forced to leave. The kids would be devastated. They love him so much and he really is the best person I know when he is not drunk.
- —Guest Lost
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