From the article: How Can I Get Him to Stop?
Friends and family members of alcoholics and addict try all kinds of tactics to try to get their love one to stop drinking. Please share what you have done to try to get the alcoholic in your life to stop and what the results were. Post Your Answer
- For more than ten years now,my husband is still drinking. At first i thought he would change. After reading all these posts i have made up my mind to leave. Kids are suffering too much because i wasn't strong enough to leave and am scared of hurting my kids more because i am hurting too.
- —Guest Javiixzon
- My son has been a drunk for 7 years and is married 7 separated for 1 1/2 years, she wants nothing to do with him except make him pay for his son which I don't blame her! but he can't because he drinks to much, lost his job. Came out of rehab a month ago doing good without a job and looking online for something maybe school ing to get a better job. He went to visit a friend yesterday and drove home drunk! very disappointed, tired and want him out, don't know how to get him out with no place for him to go! no money for fancy rehabs and I can't deal with it anymore. I have my own problems almost loosing my husband, my dad died and my sister in law had cancer and died all in the same year. I can't help him! Sometimes I just want to check out of this place and see my dad.
- Right, I have recently turned 10 years old and I realised that my mum is drinking more and more everyday. i dont know what to do. It is hard for me to concentrate on my work while she is having a blast out with 4 other friends. On Wendesday 20th I am going to kingswood for 2 days. And When I come back I bet you my mum will be drunk agian. My dad is trying to help my mum, but my mum is getting worse. I tryed to help and talkt o her but she says shes fine and she will change from now on. Then the next week after school is see my mum drunk agian. I also have a little sis thats 4 years old and my mum really is nice to my sister when she is drunk, but when shes drunk shes horrible to me. Litrelly, please help me!
- —Guest Kamilla
Let Him drink
- 26 yr old son drinks alone in home hides alcohol. binge drinks. works part time ,getting his bachelors in Dec. Alcoholism on both sides of family .Should we allow him to drink in home.. devastated. Dealt with first son with similar problem, however different personality.
- —Guest christine
Dad doesn't want help
- My dad is going through a really hard part of his life and what he doesn't know it is really hard for me too. My parents are divorced and I don't get to see him as often as I want, but when I am there he is normal drunk and when I ask his gf when he started she says as soon as he woke up. It makes me mad, because he just isn't wrecking his own life he is affecting mine too. I love my dad and I couldn't stand to lose him! He just doesn't get it. He thinks he is going to be fine. I have talked to him about how I feel about his drinking and he says he is fine and not to worry about him, but he isn't fine. He just doesn't get it, and how am I not going to worry about him he is my dad!!
Trying to stop myself Drinking
- I feel the pain in all of the stories I am a horrible nasty abusive MONSTER when drunk iv hurt my children mother and lost a wonderful partner.I hate alcohol and what it does to me I want to stop drinking alcohol
- —Guest murrin
- My mum just picked up another drink after getting back from rehab a few weeks ago. She tells me she is fine but I dont know whether she really is. She says not to tell my dad who has been really horrible to her verbally and I don't know who else I could possibly tell. I am stuck and worries plus i have exams coming up for my High School Certificate in a week. Its not her fault though as it has been in her family for 7 generations. I cannot blame her.
- —Guest wj
My dad drinks
- I'm not sure if my dad is even an alcoholic or not, but he seems to always be drunk/under the influence of alcohol. He tries to hide his drinking habits from my mum childishly by hiding his drinks down the side of the house. Mum knows though, and they always fight. Mum has a disease that means she always needs to sleep, so she's often not around to stop my dad drinking and he always acts annoying and weird (not abusive at all, just plain weird) and he's been embarrassing on occasions when he's drunk around my friends. I've tried talking to him but he just says it's his choice and it doesn't matter if he drinks or not, that I'm not his mother and I cannot tell him what do to. I know my situation isn't half as bad as the stories that everyone else has published, but I've been really affected by my day's drinking habits because I feel so hopeless, angry, stressed and annoyed to the point of constant sadness. It's horrible.
- —Guest Stressed
Want to believe
- When we met we were both in recovery and in the aa program I fell off the wagon hard and picked up horrible drugs and did horrible things for about five weeks he stayed sober and by my side as a supportive loving friend. If it wasnt for his love and compassion I dont know if i would have made it through. I am five months sober and in the span of those months I have supported his attempts at recovery at least ten times. he gets horrible drunk it is a night mare he calls me horrible names, spits on my face, cops come, he shatters my windshield to car and chokes me, slaps me. i want to love him because he loved me when i was using we just found out were pregnant and last night he choked me so badly i passed out he went to hospital then to jail they took pictures of my neck and i am hoping court will order mandatory treatment how has it come to this?
- —Guest recovering alcoholic myself
Change for the better
- Its frustrating i know, the thing u gotta know is if the person doesnt want help then the person doesnt want help. u can't change à person if he doesnt wanna change, ive been in this situation before n this situation before, the best thing i did for myself is walked out that door and never looked back. My boyfriend was an alcoholic, one day i just said "f*** it, that's it I'm done" and left. after 5months he showed up on my door step and said he was attending aa meetings and has green sober for 4 1/2 months, I was amazed, I wanted to cry. He was the same guy I fell in love with before he became a heavy drinker. The things he did when he was drunk, went on binges and wouldnt come home a week later. He completely changed. My advice would be to keep ur ground, if this person doesnt wanna change don't let him/her bring u down with them. Stand ur ground and make a change for the better
- —Guest lissa
There is a Better Day Ahead : )
- After reading all posted on this site, all I can say is, " You've been given a life separate from anyone else's, your accountable for yourself, actions and what you've done to others. SO IS THE ALCOHOLIC!". Build yourself up by attending AA or Al-Anon. Get informed and educated, then make a Decision. My Guess is your pretty smart, plus have value and a lot to offer! You only live one life! "Please don't let the past determine your future, only what this moment says you'll do".! Make your future, goals and dreams come true! : ) YOU CAN DO IT!
- —Guest Happy
My girlfriend needs help
- I've been with my girlfriend for six years and we have a daughter together.Being sober with her is so great,I'm really happy with her and we all are but when liquor is involved with her she's a completely different person.I have discuss this with her about even drinking around me because anything I say with her well she's under the influence becomes a huge argument.Whether it would be something I did like two months ago or when were sober and I'm trying to talk to her about the problem and she would block me out and bring it up when she's drunk or has any alcohol in her system .I love her a lot and I'm doing my best to even take whatever she's saying to me and able to try to resolve it even if it is my fault I do my best to comfort her and I still get the third degree.The next day she says she sorry and she'll stop drinking for us but then next week she's back on it and ends up getting so messed up that I have to baby sit her like a little kid
- —Guest Guest number1
Wish he would get sober already
- Hi. I'm 25 years old and recently got out of the Army (active duty) from 7 years of service. I remember my mom calling me sometimes crying because my dad verbally and every now and then physically abuses her. I moved back in with my parents to get myself together. The stories my mom tells me, I now witness first hand. My dad use to drink beer growin up at night every single night when he got home from work. Now, it's strictly vodka and with cranberry. Every single night my dad starts an argument from thin air. I could be talking about the Pirate game and he'll turn it into how my mother doesn't make enough money because she works at target, etc.! He'll even go into how she cheated on him 20+ years ago. Meanwhile, he did the same exact thing to my mom growing up. I get they both have issues, but there's No reason to yell at the top of ur lungs about random topics & stuff he pulls out of his butt that isn't even real! I'm sick of it. He's so mentally abusive & now he's doing it to to me :(
- —Guest Daughter frustrated and upset
- I don't know what else to do but withdraw from all family gatherings where my alcoholic and drug addicted nephew might be. He's destroying his home. He's destroying his life, he's destroying my brother's life, he's terrorized my great-nephew and no one will stand up to him. I took a stand against my daughter's alcoholism a few years ago, refused to help her financially, and refused to see or talk to her when she was drinking. Slowly but surely she is turning her life around. I'm taking the same stand with my nephew. This is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I do not have my family's support in my stand against my nephew's drinking. My heart is aching. How do I get him to get help? How do I get my brother to stand up for himself and quit enabling his son? Now, because I can't get any of my family members to stand with me, I have to withdraw, because to watch this insanity happen year after year after year is just too damned painful.
Be prepared to leave
- The key is to remember that you can't change someone, they have to want to change. I just told her that if she ever drinks again then I'm done with the relationship. Easy. You just need to actually follow through if your partner keeps drinking. Get out of there. My life is great without a drunk in it, I don't know why I would give that up just for companionship. Either she's in or she's out, there's no middle ground with an addict.
- —Guest Anon
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