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Readers Respond: What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

Responses: 327

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Updated September 22, 2012

From the article: How Can I Get Him to Stop?
Friends and family members of alcoholics and addict try all kinds of tactics to try to get their love one to stop drinking. Please share what you have done to try to get the alcoholic in your life to stop and what the results were. Post Your Answer

My dad wont stop drinking

My dad has been drinking since he was a teenager he is 46 years old now. He drinks pretty much every single night. Sometime he gets into fights with my mom and says mean things to her and he always thinks that my sisters and I are ganging up on him. He gets very angry and says something like he has been paying the bills for 20 years and you guys don't even care. And he will yell very loud I am sure the neighbors can hear. I always wish that he will stop drinking one day
—Guest scared 14 year old

It just always goes on...

My husband of almost 6 years and father of 4 children can't stop drinking. I've tried yelling and threatening with divorce. He's never abusive and he always provides financially but not emotionally. I almost died from a complication in my forth pregnancy and I couldn't find a phone and couldn't get him to wake up and had to drive myself 40 miles while bleeding out to a hospital. I want to leave so bad, but how does a single woman with only a high school education support herself I this world with children. I feel so stuck and so depressed.
—Guest Jess

Watch my father slowly kill him self

I am 30 & have been carrying for my alcoholic father for 6yrs each year he gets worse, my husband was diagnosed with cancer last year & I am completely emotionally drained. I have to care for my love, but my father is such a burden and it becoming to much. If don't care for him he will die & I don't know if I will be able to live with myself knowing that was my fault. My husband needs me and I need him, I just don't know how or what to do. There is a part of me that wishes had would just leave us, maybe even die, & I feel like a monster for saying that. His behavior & lack of care for my dying husband makes a part of me hate him, even though I know I love him so much. I am just so sad and lost. He doesn't want help, he just wants to keep drinking until his life is over.
—Guest Lost daughter

Weekend drunk

My dad always comes back drunk on a saturday night. He says it's because we don't watch any decent television but we would if he was actually there. I only see him in the morning briefly before I go to badminton practice. He always comes home and just moans about anything small. I hate to see my mother cry and get upset, we end up just going upstairs to bed. He calls himself a social drinker but it is more than that and I fear he will have liver problems if he continues
—Guest dan

talk to your dad more or reach out

Talk to your dad more see what you come up with. Then try reaching out to family members and then if all else fails reach out to someone else.
—Guest Kamilla

You can't help them

My mum's been an alcoholic for 30 years and i've dealt with it on and off for my entire life. In 22 years of dealing with it the one conclusion i've come to is that you can't help them. In response to the person at the top (Every Single Weekend) i almost did kill myself. I stopped eating to gain control of my life and got dangerously thin to the point where i was ill all the time. She didn't care! I punched her in the face, she didn't care! well only about the black eye i gave her, told her she was selfish and i hated her, she cried but did nothing about it. She is the only one who can help her. All you can do is be there for her when she does
—Guest Sophie

Love133

I been dating a guy for about 6 months & its been the worse time of my life..I really don't know what to do anymore..when he drinks ,he picks with me & my kids..he say all negative things..from my head to my toes,he finds nothing rite ..until maybe he gets sober,& wants sex...& then back to drinking the next day...
—Guest Prettyblacklove133

Don't believe the promises

I been with my boyfriend almost one year, and for the first month on the weekends he drank. I told him whence met drinking is bad for him. He told me than he will stop but he did not stop until we became a couple. He stop 3 weeks after. Things were good for 3 months and he snuck out to the LQ-store when i went to the pharmacy thinking he was sleep. When i came back (which was 20 min) he was standing in the kitchen telling me how much he love me chewing gum and would not get close kept going to bathroom. I asked was he drinking and he said yes. He kept going from there i guess he knows i care for him. So i went just walk away. It's very ugly when he is drunk. I always wanted a man that's always on point not knocked out from alcohol. He looks very stupid and not manly at all. I believe a real man is never going to put him and his woman on a spot where they both can be takin advantage of. SO LAME BEING AROUND A DRUNK IN PUBLIC OR NOT. A MAN suppose to always show his manhood .
—Guest naya

AlAnon

Get yourselves to alanon it saved me when I was living with an alcoholic, look after yourself, only the alcoholic can stop, you can't stop them all you can do is change your attitude, we have a saying changed attitudes can aid recovery, in alanon you learn how to deal with the alcoholic if they are drinking or not
—Guest Diane

Struggling with my mom

I have tried my hardest with my mom and all she keeps doing is throwing it back in my face, im struggling with my GCSES at school.. Not speaking to her kills me! She gets abused and hurt all the time by people that are after her.. i just really want her to get help! Everythink is just affecting me atm, sisters been taking away, brother being adopted:/ hate it.
—Guest Lauren

Sick and Tired

Hi I've been dating a 45 year old for a while and I am 24, when I first met him he did spend a lot of time at the pub but never seemed to drink that much, as things got harder at his work, he was getting drunker, flirting with other women in front of me, sleeping with other women, insulting people, getting barred from pubs, things got better for a bit and he moved in to my house, he drinks about 3 bottles of wine a night, I hardly get a look in, he usually passes out very early evening and just snores, if i bring it up he says I am trying to control him, and then calls me names, etc etc, says he does not care if he dies. So i kicked him out tonight, finally just hope I can stay strong and keep away, I love him but I am sick. Feels so good to get that out!
—Guest sadgirl12

I have a bachelors degree but i'm dumb.

Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and he has always drank. He is amazing and loving when sober but he drinks anytime he can. He just got the Breathalyzer off his car and he is laying on the bathroom floor, passed out. I try asking him, what he feels when he has a craving, he tells me to shut up, and if i keep asking he said he will binge himself to death. His mom told him to slow down and he drank a fifth of vodka, to show her? Everyday i come home from work i wonder if he'll be normal or a drunk. Its usually drunk. i hate my life, nothing works and i can't tell anyone.
—Guest WhatAmIdoingwrong

Drinking Husband

When I met my husband,he drank. It got better from where we first met.Then it got worse.On top of that he is using marijuana. He always says he doesn't have a problem. He can stop whenever he want. Last year he was stopped by the police while drinking(9 in the morning). After that he went to rehab. He works for my parents and they gave him an ultimatum. Go for rehab(which they paid for + giving him his months pay as well)or stop working. While in rehab he was a wonderful man, but the day he left he started drinking again. Everyone thinks he stopped drinking and during the week he is great, but I dread weekends. In the week he would have 1or 2 beers a night, but Friday after work he starts the weekend with downing a bottle of sherry and then beer, beer, beer. He gets verbally abusive, aggressive and threatens me with a divorce. He doesn't believe me when I tell him what he's like. He blames us for sending him away and denies he has a problem. He always afterwords. And I still love him. Stupid!
—Guest Maryke

Solutions

Approach them and see if they think it is a problem: If they do admit it is a problem, help them solve the problem and talk to them (should work all the time) If they don't admit it: Immediately try to get out of that conversation somehow Then find external help that can help this problem without intruding too much into the privacy of the drinker, make the drinker realize it is a problem and that the drinker needs to put a stop to it (this solution varies a lot)
—Guest TrueBlue

I am so lost with my husband's drinking,

My husband drinks a lot and I just don't know what to do anymore, He went into rehab for 30 days and the day he got out he started drinking and drank for 2 years he goes to classes to he was sober for 78 days and then he was back to drinking, I just don't know what way to turn I love him but I don't know what to do to help him any more.. he tells me what I want to hear and then he does it all over again... please help me find a way to dill with this...
—Guest Sharon

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What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

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