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Readers Respond: What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

Responses: 205

By

Updated October 09, 2014

From the article: How Can I Get Him to Stop?
Friends and family members of alcoholics and addict try all kinds of tactics to try to get their love one to stop drinking. Please share what you have done to try to get the alcoholic in your life to stop and what the results were. Note: This Reader Response topic has been closed, please use this form to share your experience, or join the discussion in the Alcoholism Forum.

Son who drinks and smokes

I have done everything under the sun to get him to quit I told him about how much damage he is doing to his liver and brain and he just laughs at me. He is 51yrs and he has been drinking and smoking since he was 16yrs. He says his liver is regenerating every day and if it kills the brain cells I guess I will be brain dead. He thinks it is a joke I can not get through to him what he is doing to himself. So I have turned this over to God to see if He can get him to quit but I do not think he even has a bible in his house.
—Guest evelynjackson

My son's drinking problem

What have I done to get my son to quit drinking I have told him about his liver and all the damage he is doing to it. He saw his wife die in the hospital for 3 weeks and then she died he told me in the church when we had a memorial service for her that he was never going to drink ever again and now he drinks more than when she was alive.
—Guest evelynjackson

My dad wont stop drinking

My dad has been drinking since he was a teenager he is 46 years old now. He drinks pretty much every single night. Sometime he gets into fights with my mom and says mean things to her and he always thinks that my sisters and I are ganging up on him. He gets very angry and says something like he has been paying the bills for 20 years and you guys don't even care. And he will yell very loud I am sure the neighbors can hear. I always wish that he will stop drinking one day
—Guest scared 14 year old

It just always goes on...

My husband of almost 6 years and father of 4 children can't stop drinking. I've tried yelling and threatening with divorce. He's never abusive and he always provides financially but not emotionally. I almost died from a complication in my forth pregnancy and I couldn't find a phone and couldn't get him to wake up and had to drive myself 40 miles while bleeding out to a hospital. I want to leave so bad, but how does a single woman with only a high school education support herself I this world with children. I feel so stuck and so depressed.
—Guest Jess

Every single frikin weekend

Hi, I've been dealing with my moms alcohol problems every since around 2008. And yes it's tiring you feel like you need to do something about it.... The problem is you can't. It's gotten worse and worse every weekend night. I luckily have a friend to help me get through it. But what I do is I threaten to go to my dads house which is in a different state... She says she doesn't care but I know she does. Once I even threatened to kill myself (I wouldn't have tho) and she didn't care. I am just tired of it and then when I leave the room after telling her to stop drink she talks crap about me.
—Hated2death

Doesn't Seem Like A Problem

im 22, an i drink occasionally i never got drunk, i drink with my uncle, my boss, and friends. My parents are not supportive of me drinking i respect that. But now im getting confused; i dont have a problem drinking, but the fact of me drinking is pulling us apart? Why can't the other person (being my mom and dad) realize that this can be a controlled thing? I guess reading the above posts, some people are not lucky and lose control. But what is it about drinking alcohol that sets there family and friends and gf's against them right away without analysing how the person drinks, even if they never had a problem with it? I think this shouldn't be dismissed as a problem right away, i know people suffer from it, families do but i think if taking alcohol to a different level and adding self discipline to it you should not have a problem.
—Guest Jonthon

Dangerously ill

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 long years. The only time he stays sober is when he gets thrown in prison for dui. He makes promises that he won't keep yet I keep hoping it'll change. he has liver disease and hep c so they won't even begin to give him treatment till he stops drinking. I've tried everything from detaching to enabling oh and rescuing him. I'm at my wits end and I'm fixin to throw in the towel. Not because I don't love him but because I'm going insane and its not fair for me to have to live in constant turmoil. He is anti aa meetings and he has been through a rehab where he does very good but when he gets out its business as usual. Oh and have I mentioned its always my fault he drinks. he is waking up this morning from a black eye he somehow got when his friends carried him home. He will wake up with excuses and apologies and he won't drink today. He will wait a few days and then my nightmare will begin all over again unless I do something different.
—Guest fed up

Husband

My husband and I have been together for about 7 years and have been married for 4 of them. He used to drink alot when we first met and I had gotten him to slow down on his drinking for a while. Then about 3 years ago I got hurt in a horse accident and everything went down hill from there. I went back to work 6 months after my accident. He started drinking more and stopped paying the bills. He has been making me pay all the bills the last two years and we are barely able to live on what I make. I have tried reasoning with him. I have tried yelling and crying. I have tried leaving him as much as it hurt. I just do not know what to do anymore. He drinks a case of beer a day and I have tried to show him how much he spends on alcohol every month and he just blows it off like it is nothing. I am hurt and confused because I just do not know what to do anymore. I absolutely hate watching him act so selfish and be so inconsiderate. It just tears me up because he does not want to grow up.
—Guest sad and confused

Hurting

I've known my husband for almost 12 years now, we have a 9 year old and a 2 year old. We divorced over his drinking before and 3 years ago I took him back because I thought things had changed, that's when my son was born. He was even drunk during both of my children's births. Now that I think about it, he is in love with the alcohol, not me. I want him to leave but I fear that I won't be able to handle the financial responsiblities on my own. I feel so trapped. I am not in love with him anymore. I need help.
—Guest Pamela060376

Im slowing giving up

Well I am 19 and been with my boyfriend for four years I know he has a drinking problem but wont admit it he comes home drunk every weekend and he is such a different person I tried leaving him but i never go through with i really dont know what to do. he gets very violent
—Guest sad one

Pregnant

My boyfriend and I are having a baby. Got pregnant when he was sober, though he smoked pot everyday and wouldn't commit to AA. I'm an alcoholic and I knew that this would lead to relapse, pleaded and pleaded to no avail. Now he's drinking again. I'm so scared. I want to tell someone, to ask for help, but I don't want to betray his trust. I want to move in with my parents but I'm afraid of what he'll do alone. I've been praying and trying to turn it over to a higher power but I think eventually I'll still have to act. I just don't know what to do or where to turn.
—Guest Helpless

Family problem

I am a recovering alcohol. I reunited with the still drinking alcoholics in my family at Thanksgiving. Their drinking was kind of hard for me but they really were on their best behavior. Now I get e-mails, phone calls where my mother is blaming everything on my brother. They both have been drinking for 30 years. They wanted me to come back to visit. So I had to be honest and tell them I can't be around people who are drinking. So my mother blamed my brother. Now it's been a couple days of drama (just like the old days). I finally told her it wasn't just my brother, it was her too. Broke a big taboo. I am tired of the secrets, so I just told the truth. Since I'm an alcoholic myself, I know she's not gonna quit or my brother because they don't want to. The other family members just sit there and watch them both get drunk and don't say anything. I feel strongly because I know how hard it is to quit. I also know either of them could die at any time. So I just told the truth.
—Guest fish

Should I jump ship?

I am in love with my ex even though we split up 8 years ago because he used to pass out drunk, no job, he would steal money from me and my kids. Now we are together and engaged he told me he didn't drink anymore and was saved. We served God together and fell in love . He has a great heart. He relapsed a few weeks ago and now he drinks everyday. Started becoming physical by throwing me down and he punched me in my face. He says over again he is going to quit, he has spent his whole pay check on beer and his family robbing him. He now gives me his check after he takes money out for his disease. He left last night after I caught him drinking and went to his drug addict alcoholic brothers house. He said he can't live sober but he hasn't tried actually doing AA we have went together but he won't do the steps and give his all. He said Alcohol has taken 20 yrs of his life. Hes on probation, if I turn my back on him he will end up in prison for 15. I have kids and I don't want to ruin our life
—Guest hurt

My husband has aproblem

My husband has a big problem of drinking after work and then on day off he has make sure there beer in the frig. He can get drunk or to the point he can't feel nothing. Like one time he fall down the front step into the flowerbed and my daughter come home from work and found him . And this is getting to the point that I'm already move out of the bedroom and he don't even care. I tried tell he need to get help. Tonight he told me he will talk to the doctor ,but I have to see that because of 10 years.I'm tried of this,of being married to him 32 years, he didn;t even care.
—Guest nipper

I have been there - sad to say

The love of my life was/is an alcoholic. We left each other 30 years ago this month. We were together for 10 years. I did not recognize him when he got drunk, and it only got worse. Good luck to all.
—ellenwolfie
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