- Stress, plain and simple money problems, boyfriend's little white lies, bad memories. I am new to recovery, and am just looking at this tough road ahead seems insurmountable. But it must happen. I've done so many things I regret and hurt people that I love dearly. I have got to get past this slimy pit of self loathing in my belly, the shaking hands, the house of cards barely holding around me.
Get totally smashed every 6 weeks
- I don't know what the real answer is. I feel let down by my family and some friends. I like to hug and be hugged. Seems kind of needy right? I don;t think so. I work in the hospitality industry and it seems every meeting or client event has to do with alcohol. I probably focus too much on alcohol and not on the events. I like to let loose every couple of months and then when I get home my wife for ten years is so understanding, yet I feel she chastises me. I know she means well, but sometimes I just want to come home and be left alone. Which is a terrible way to treat someone that loves you. Although she understands, she also is clueless why I need to blow steam every couple of months. I love her so much and I am never selfish. She says I am the perfect husband except for those nights I blow steam off. I hope we all can get a hug daily to remind us that everyone has an issue that needs to be nurtured. Best wishes to all. Keep on living!
- —Guest father
- My biggest trigger, for years, was the inability to truly own the 1st Step. Taking accountability that I was powerless (doesn't matter why) over alcohol and my life had become unmanageable. Get that step in your hearts and minds and work the rest every day. Try to attend a "Step Meeting" at least once a week - hang on when you need to and pick up the phone! AA can work for anyone if the alcoholic is truly willing to work the program. Freedom from alcohol and drugs is what we can all have - not freedom from the ups and downs of life - just learning how to live life on life's terms not ours.
- —Guest john m
- I drank quite regularly for nearly 5-years and finally realized and admitted to myself that I had a problem. I've been completely sober for 110 days now, but now find myself alone while my wife is away for the weekend. I have had an ongoing dilemma in my mind from the moment she left - "should I use this opportunity to drink while she's gone or not?" Now, 24-hours later, I'm still sober, thank God. I am currently very proud of myself for avoiding alcohol thus far. I'm worried that if I were to buy an "innocent 6-pack" for the weekend, I'd quickly fall back into my old, terrible habits. It's the memories of my depression, lack of self-respect, distrust I created with my wife, and overall poor health that keeps me from drinking. Not to mention that I'd be terribly upset with myself if I had to begin my "sober count" at 0 again. I feel great knowing I've had 110 days sober!
- —Guest Mountain Guest
Relapse after 1 1/2 years
- I can't tell my story, because I don't think anyone will understand.. I was sober, worked hard as hell for it after drinking every day of my life from age 19 to 34. That's a lot of years to drink every day, and I'm not talking about a beer a day. I drank 4 to 5 bottles of wine and a 12 pack a day no problem. I hate that I have become a perfect sneak or someone who can hide all they feel, I am so sick of this disease and I wish I could control it. What the hell am i supposed to do? I am not an AA person. I've been to at least 100 different meetings and I just don't connect with anyone. After rehab I tried meetings, but I guess when it comes to my own problems I just don't like telling people my secrets. So I stayed sober and lonely for a while, but eventually it got easier until money problems came into effect and now i picked it up again - not every day, but I started sneaking a shot or two. I think because I don't have anybody to talk to. Help, I'm not AA material.
- —Guest cant tell U
My biggest relapse triggers
- My biggest relapse triggers are definitly stress. And unneeded stress cause by others. An example of this is my boyfriend. I have to step back and calm my self down and remember that it will only effect me in a negative way if I relapse. He doesn't get it.
- —Guest Kimberly
Don't need a trigger
- I have been sober 11 days. People say that you need to find your triggers. I have yet to find one. I want to drink whether I am happy sad, good day, bad day, whatever. I have recently found some weird mental stability. First,if I can quit, I am doing myself a favor, both physically and mentally. Physically I am sure you all know. Mentally it is because I can accomplish something that I started. And that is building self esteem, I can do it, In the early stages of recovery it is easy, where I am now, it is after 60 days, when you get comfortable is when it gets bad. You think that you have conquered this beast and you can indulge. This is where I will need help this time. Don't be afraid to ask for help. That is why I am here today. I will be calling tomorrow to set up an appointment.
- —Guest bigbill.reed
- My relapse triggers can be anything. They can be music on the radio or billboards on the highway with alcohol on them. Another is people drinking in restaurants around me, especially wine. The smell of wine is very strong. I never drank wine but it still sets me off.
- —Guest Kimberly
My husband drinks
- My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He has relapsed two times now. He keeps telling me I am stressing him out and to talk to him normal. I guess all that I am doing is talking to him about all of the problems right now. Mainly money and how I feel like I'm doing this all by myself. Am I being selfish that I want him to help me get through this as well as me help him or does he only need to focus on himself right now. I feel so alone in this journey.
- —Guest Lindsey
- My biggest relapse trigger is coming up, Christmas! This will be my first one sober in many years. I used drinking and other things to cover up times like this and I've got to say that I'm scared to death. I'm going to my mom's for Christmas and going to be with 3 of my 4 kids and that is something I haven't done in years, because I was too busy doing something else. I'm blessed and fortunate to be able and allowed to go this year, but my addiction keeps telling me that I wont be able to handle everything without drinking or popping a pill. Anybody got any advice or words of wisdom? I sure could use it... thanks.
- —Guest buffie
Still trying to understand
- I'm not an alcoholic but my daughter was. I spent all my time and energy trying to understand why she wouldn't go to a rehab or get treatment or just plain stop. She died 2 years ago at the age of 37 from a varius bleed. She had lived with me for two years and had lost everything she had left to lose. Her home, husband, children, nursing license etc. I found her dead at the bottom of the stairs. She died all alone thinking she wasn't loved. She was loved very much but living with a person who refuses to stop drinking is not easy. I still live with the guilt that I wasn't able to save her or get her into some rehab[you can't have an adult entered into rehab with out their consent]. I still love her dearly and think of her every day. The guilt is over whelming. I don't think that drinkers realize the effect they have on loved ones. I just want her back. I would do things differently but unfortunately you sometimes don't get that second chance.
- —Guest julia
Must be hard
- My mother is the alcoholic. she has everything going for her 2 kids (my brother 23 and myself 21) both in the Air Force. Two wonderful grandchildren from my brother a loving boyfriend, family support and a beautiful home. I question why she drinks every time she relapses especially since she has pancreaitis and the doctors told her she's going to die if she keeps it up, even one beer a day, which is never the case. Anyone have any clue what is going through her head and causing her to act this way? She's been a non functioning alcoholic who has dry spells sometimes for months and it has been this way as long as I can remember. Why?
- —Guest daughter
Breathe and Remember
- What's going on in my head can be my trigger. I am 7 years clean and sober. I had a lot of help, professional (which I highly recommend) and fellow addicts and alcoholics. I must constantly work on my mental and spiritual health. The first thing I do when I think of drinking/using is to breathe and remember the bad times. I don't dwell on what I thought were good times, but remember the consequences of those 'good times'. Fear is my biggest enemy. I took baby steps, tackling one small fear at a time. My fears are mental not physical. I have to remember I have the same basic human rights as anyone else. Starting with the right to be myself. My family has the hardest time dealing with this. Even now they still seem surprised that I consider myself an individual with my own thoughts and feelings. They are use to me being weak and pathetic and doing whatever they want. They may or may not ever accept me as I am now completely, but that is not my problem. I am only responsible for my happiness.
- Fear of everything is my trigger and what's sad is I know, if I just hang on it will pass and I won't need to numb the pain. But sometimes I am not strong enough and the ease the beer gives me feels so good, but temporary I know. Then the self hatred and disappointment kick in. I don't know how I will kick this.
- —Guest LisaV
- I was sober for three weeks, until the day before yesterday. Now I am in the process of coming down from a two day binge, and have never felt so disgusting. I have been trying to fight my drug and alcohol addictions on my own for the past 10 years, and am just coming to the realization now, that professional help is truly needed. I feel so low because I was so messed up yesterday, I forgot to call my daughter and was still too high this morning to go to school. The part that makes me the sickest about this relapse, was that I was my own trigger. I was just hanging out with some friends that don't even drink, let alone do drugs, and I just had this insatiable urge to use. How do I even begin to explain that to a counselor, when I can't even understand it myself?
- —Guest lowbrow