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Readers Respond: What are your biggest relapse triggers and how do you deal with them?

Responses: 139

By , About.com Guide

Updated April 28, 2009

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People new to recovery can be triggered to pick up a drink or start using drugs again by certain situations, events or even other people. What were the biggest relapse triggers that you have to fight. How do you deal with them? Post Your Answer

The media

I am 2 weeks and 2 day sober (this is my 3rd weekend, YAY!). What kills me is how the media portrays alcohol. It's on almost every show. It is glorified and made to seem "the norm". No, you don't have to drink a glass (or in my case, bottle) of wine to be classy. I'm not sure what my triggers really are yet. I am thinking maybe vacation time, my son's upcoming wedding, particularly stressful workdays...I can only prepare myself mentally for these challenges and cross that bridge when I get there. This is a journey so far, and I must admit, I'm digging it!
—Finallyhit_rockbottom

Trigger

Anger will trigger me big time. I have three responses to anger run away, shut down or explode. I have been sober for one year. I used to drink away my anger..Now, I call my sponsor and/or go to a meeting.. I also journal. That helps a lot!
—qwriter

Wife's drinking..

My wife's alcoholism. The worst! It didn't, but only because I realized my wife Has finally drank more than me. It disturbs me my 20+ son is showing signs that predict a severe Problem. My youngest who attends a Christian college ( zero tolerance. )turns 21 in 1 month. She has asked why our family is so screwed up. After 8 years sober l am still in denial. My only hope is telling her she is an adult child of alcoholic parents and beseech her on my knees to never drink and let her know that by never drinking there's a 0 chance of becoming an alcoholic. We stop because it hurts us. We stay sober because we now know it will hurt others.
—Guest poachild

Triggers

You can do it. Nothing worthwhile ever happens quickly and easily.
—Guest Ron

Two Cycle engine oil...

After 8 months of sobriety, I went up north to go snowmobiling w some friends( Who are non drinkers .) When I used to drink I always was snowmobiling. So low and behold the smell of the exhaust from a snowmobile(the 2 cycle oil burning smell )triggered me to tell the guys while we were all around the bonfire and cooking burgers, that I had to gas up my sled cause it was almost empty. I went to the liquor store and bought a fifth and pounded it down and washed it back w a soda. Now to this day I am aware that that smell will trigger a craving in me and I am ready for it. This may sound nuts,but were all a little crazy anyhow. Thanks Terry
—Guest Terry

Help Me Jesus, Help me Jesus

I can only write that I pray for other addicts with the LOVE which I have been given for all people. When I don't do this every minute of every day & night I am thinking about myself instead, that's my relapse trigger- thinking about me instead of you. My alcoholism is so simple & so complicated. I began as soon as I responded to Dad's summons for another beer then I could get as much as I wanted- age @5 to 58. So now they know that "trauma" is my real problem. So I'll strip my soul bare again in these terms to try and help myself. But today I can only look at my drinking as one big relapse, because all of life I don't know of anything else but drinking something anything stops the hurt a little bit less than all the PAIN which is my life. Think only of somebody else.
—Guest Barbara

Relapsed after 1-1/2 years and 21 months

I totally understand what your saying Chrissy. It's hard to get back to feeling a part of the meetings. I know I need to go in order to stay sober but it's hard. Actually it gets harder the more times you relapse. I just keep praying for the willingness and for the obsession to be removed. Also, I pray that I have another spiritual awakening again. That I can get back on that pink cloud. That's the best feeling, That's when you crave meetings and feel a part of again. Just pray, and try to get more spiritual. That's what I'm doing.
—Guest Carmex

Learning to embrace change!

People, Places, Things ! The first two are kind of easy to fix when you ask yourself is this relationship or place beneficial or damaging to me and the other. Paying attention to your feelings, thoughts and realizing what they are and how to deal with them. Also working the 12 steps or learn ways to maintain Sobriety. The main thing is learning how you work on all levels and finding ways to prevent what leads to relapse. When I said things it was a big thing! Smells, seasons, time schedules, stress, even music. It took me to learn what thoughts relate to what experience, memory or current feeling at the time, and what it was TIME to understand them. This is much growth but can become interesting and healing. Recovery isn't always comfortable but learning skills to deal with the uncomfortable in a healthy way is good. Just abstaining can ease some of the damage but dealing with what got you where you started to see what isn't working can lead to understanding the world of you.
—Guest Dawn E. Bedell

Can't get any sleep

After a night or two of very little sleep, I think that a few drinks will help. They do knock me out, but a few hours later I am in the same situation again. I remind myself that it is better to be tired in the morning than hungover, and there are natural remedies for insomnia. Like Brand-new@this, music can be a trigger too; especially music that reminds me of a lost loved one. I don't listen to those songs anymore. Stay strong.
—Guest Guest Anne

Stress and stress

Some people eat, other's smoke... I get stressed alcohol is all I can think about. We sold out business, made some money but had HUGE debts to begin with (stress), my husband is semi retired at 64 and is discouraged he can't find even a part time job (stress) I had a three year contract and lost it, I was also relapsing with the stress ( I didn't really understand the job with technology) so I lost the job after my 3 month review ( stress). stopped eating. ended up in detox, good care nice people, but who really wants to be there than your own bed. So, keeping busy, exercising, eating right even if you have to drive it in. Going to meetings. reading the steps. signing up for re-hab. Knowing I also have blood tests and high blood pressure tests coming soon. ( like 10 days.) Having better will power that I can do this. reminding myself of the destruction and shame and not wanting that anymo
—Guest itsgottatakesoon!

dealing with triggers

remember its all about what you connect with while you drank. When I am angry with a loved one or I hear a blender, I flash to drinking. I remind myself that a thought is just a thought. It doesn't mean I'mm still that sick. It only means that alcoholics will think like that and its normal.
—Guest hacha

Almost

My boss very politely expressed that I have problems, and the one she means this time is - serious memory issue. It was IT, hit me hard, I am proud of my memory, can recite tens of poems for hours... at that moment I, if a drink would be available I would have it, no hesitation. Fortunately way home taks approx. 2 hours , so it subsided a bit. Then home "sweet home" dear honey with 2 drinking buddies drunk to oblivion, to hear their insane gibberish, screamed obscenities was like a pale of icy water on my head. Need for drink was dismissed in a flash. Perhaps I should be grateful for their contribution to my sobriety . So why I am not? Was I drinking with them not long ago? YES, I did ,and now I am disgusted and "not fun to be with anymore". Disgust for alcohol is stronger and stronger..
—Guest Grace

triggers

well I use to think I didnt have ant tiggers, I was wrong! When I frist got sobor I found them and had to deal with them. One was music, I love music, all kinds. I didnt know what to do then a friend suggested that I eat some candy, it helped. Ive sice have learnned why that trigger hit me and when I started to accept it for what it was I can say now I enjoy all kinds music again.
—zman60

Relapse

I have stopped drinking August 2011. I have been drinking all my life. I relapsed and I just have to get up. I worked to hard to get where I am and no one can judge. I also have a husband who still drinks. I will not give up.
—Guest andaline

Tuf T9s never last, but Tuf People Do

Whew! Very tough one. Trigger 'n trigger has seen me pick up again 'n again before, only to "luckily", with the help of my HP, stop very quickly before you know what! 3 main reasons for my T's (and a few too many to mention here). The PAWS: Post-Acute-Withdrawal-Syndrome; HALT: Hungry, horny?! Angry, Lonely, Tired; and the RIDs: Restless, Irritable, and Discontent--- which I suppose could go for most people, but alcoholics seem to be particularly innately sensitive "by nature". And a real difficult one is getting that paycheck from work. By years and years of habit, it's been off to beers with the paycheck. Most definitely, however, also bear in mind, the very dangerous way that all the little bothersome nuances of daily life can add up; especially when they happen all in one day and I just want to yell, "Ahhgg!!" Man, do I want a drink then. Can't do it. What do I do? A few to mention: Yes, go to a meeting, pray, sweaty exercise, wait it out, this too shall pass, stay busy, 12-Step!!
—Guest 1hourataT9

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