loss of contol
- I can relate to some of these stories. I have been binge drinking on weekends for probably about 2 if not 3 years now. I am 30 years old and I am in a good place in my life and I like to have celebratory drinks and sometimes have some brews when I am working around the house. I don't really make a fool out of myself when I go out and I can be responsible. However, recently I feel as though I have acquired a who cares attitude when drinking and feel a loss of self control. I am quitting drinking because I feel as though my health will rapidly deteriorate if I keep along this path. I am losing my self control and forgetting who I truly am. Also, I no longer enjoy the feeling of drinking and it can never be just one. I don't like the hangovers and the feelings of depression that come from alcohol withdrawal. Overall, I think I am over the late nights and ready for a new start that doesn't involve an altered state of mind, but positive, sober, healthier life experiences :)
- —Guest Fintan
slowing me down
- I decided to quit drinking after drinking since I was 13, I look at what I have now at 34, a house a new car,good ,job and in school for a na degree and u think about how much more I could have had if I never started drinking. I had it all happen to me while drunk ,beat up, robbed,sexually assaults on me, locked up and embarassed numerous of times. I have a great boyfriend..I'm gay by the way. He gives me what ever I ask for works very hard. I just wanna feel normal no hangovers,drinking 7days aweek,and getting up 545am for work looking 20years older.plus I don't wanna loose what I managed to work so hard to get in the last 5years including my boy who does not drink
- —Guest bigbm
I feel as though it was rape
- I stopped for 45 days this year, just thought I could have a glass and was back on the wagon, longest I had in 6 years when I heavily started after a long term relationship and after I got a DUI. I started drinking at the house after I got arrested. Didn't stop when I was pinned in a room uncontrollable and a girl head butted me and I bit into her hand to make her let go of me. My case was dismissed. Getting an STD (curable) didn't stop my drinking, because I was drunk when that happened. Didn't stop when I was accused of doing cocaine (it was my roommates baby mama drama) I was drunk that night and let her do cocaine in the house. Didn't stop me from picking up the booze. No, kept drinking. Got in trouble twice at the new apartment, second time woke me up, 4 days of sobriety, I find out my ex boyfriend took photos of me and posted them on an adult website without my knowledge or permission. I now have a note to remind me on my mirror why I stopped drinking.
- —Guest B
- i was given a choice. quit drinking or quit my marriage. 2 years later, here i am, married still with 2 awesome but annoying kids and a wife who im pretty sure still loves me. thing is, these days i feel more inclined to drive as fast as possible down the wrong way on the freeway and letting go of the wheel then i ever did 2 years ago. sobriety is pretty fucking lame guys, and unless it is something that you truly desire, you are going to be in for a surprise when you stop being yourself for another persons benefit and then shit gets worse, not better. this isnt a cry for help- im beyond help and out of tears. this is a call to anyone else considering sobriety. if you are not in it 110% for yourself and no one else, you arent going to be happy whether youre clean or not. i was quasi-happy when i was drunk, and despite the fact that it was totally artificial, it was better than what ive got now. your miliage may vary, but for the sake of your own happiness, please heed my words.
- —Guest clayton
Grieving was more important!
- I was drinking to mask the pain of losing my partner of 10 yrs. He passed away 5-24-11. I drank a liter of vodka daily immediately after his death. The last drunk that I had was terrible....I was running low on funds and decided to drink mouthwash because I heard ppl. in detox talking about getting drunk on it. In less than 1yr. I was in detox twice, in the psych. unit six times after six failed attempts at suicide, and woke up in the E.R. so many times that I have lost count. Now remember that this is in a years time..I am 32 now..the highest B.A.C. was at .74..I was "the walking dead". I heard this from the nursing staff..I was giving 21 "banana bags" in 7 days. The pain was always there, the grief was always there, and frankly, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. I have been through withdrawls that kept me drinking...shaking, hallucinations, retching blood, all extremely unpleasant! I put myself in treatment, and I am in an extention of treatment for the next 3mnt
- After years of going in and out of detox centers,and living on streets and having the dts, i made decision to make staying sober my #1 priority in life and now am in a.a and much healthier and happier. im lucky i survived the dts which hospitalized me and for alcoholics like me: the first! drink is most dangerous one
- —Guest daniel didonna
Took me one year to really get over it.
- The stories here really sound familiar to me. I think I've lived most of them. I started drinking as a self esteem crutch in my late teens. I had so many warnings that it was time to stop. Blackouts became the norm not the exception. Humiliated myself regularly. Lost friends and jobs. Had a DUI. Still, I kept going with drink because it was really all I had. Finally I moved to a Muslim country in the Middle East for work. You can get booze here but it's restricted and I really couldn't be bothered putting in the effort to get it. After one year sober I found I didn't miss booze at all, but that the memories of past humiliations came back to me all the time with full force. I can't remember anything pleasant about booze now. Many different things work for different people, but that's what worked for me. One year sober to break old habits and build new ones. If you're reading this and you're still drinking, just know that there there is a way out for you and a better life waiting.
- —Guest Iron Mike
- Slowly it got me,my 20sto30s had a wine sometimes lived with my x husband who was even back then drinking a liter or more of red a night .emotional abuse and sexual abuse ,got the courage to leave him when my daughter was 5amd my triplet boys 15 months.Was happy soon after met and married second husband .Started drinking with him and it was a couple of years until had a child .After 5th child and another year or two couldn't cope with depression one drink turned into two and slowly after another 5years a bottle .Another divorce teenage boys depression and drinking.Blackouts,migraines ,bad days .5days sober and looking forward to my future .
- —Guest Dj
Living without alcohol
- Because of my health and physical, emotional, mental and spiritual welfare. I have kept a normal stable level of these conditions, so AAs give wonderful results if someone in reality needs to quit alcoholics drinking.
- —Guest victor manuel ramirez
I Want to be Healthy Happy
- For years I've questioned whether i was an alcoholic, and when i asked my DR , she said i wasnt. My boyfriend says I'm not and he doesn't drink. But I feel like crap the next day because I can't seem to drink less than 3 glasses every time i go out. And sometimes, I go out more than once a week (usually when I'm stressed or having anxiety) and I always feel like crap for 3 days after. And then I eat crap and smoke cigarettes and flirt too much. And during the days following, I don't exercise, I eat more crap, and I mentally torture myself. "Recreation, entertainment or social time" for years it was darts, then dancing, now karaoke but the evening always ends with me drinking too much and worrying about driving, tempting myself, eating unhealthy snacks, sore lungs from smoking, and a foggy brain for 3 days afterwards. And lets not forget the lack of ambition and self-esteem that follows. I still want to go out -but I won't cause I feel better when I don't.
- —Guest Darla
I've started to slur really quickly.
- I have started to slur my speech after only one or 2 drinks and drink nearly every day. My family are worried about me. I'm trying to give up for one month and today is my second day.
Today not tomorrow
- I am done and I hope too never be reliant on alcohol ever again. My will power is at it's highest after going to my lowest for a while. I hope that I can manage my down time better and be a more positive person. I am tired of letting my family down ...I love them and the best way to show it is to make the change today not tomorrow!
- —Guest SA 1968
- Out of control! 24 years ago I went to treatment. Been sober ever since. It's been just great!
- —Guest lora
- When you drink, at some point you start to realize that you're falling behind the pack. You begin to realize that you're just another schmuck that didn't see it coming. You start to be able to spot an alcoholic in a crowd because you know the look from in the mirror. The older guy at the supermarket checkout looks a little sad at you when he rings you up for your beer and wine on Monday night. There comes a time that you realize you're not a unique and special case when it comes to drinking. You acknowledge the stuff you've known all along but thought didn't apply to you. You see how bad it's going to get. It all makes you sick enough to break free.
- —Guest Marcus
To much drama
- I had been having marriage problems as my husband had been cheating - I drank to make myself feel better but when I drank I got upset and there were numerous arguments and embarrassing scenes. It was humiliating and upsetting for my kids. I stopped 3 months ago and life is much happier.
- —Guest Jane