- What is control? I thought I could "control" my drinking. I went from drinking every night, to drink NA Beer every night to 3.2 beer every other night. Last night I invited a few buddies over to hang out for a bit. Well it was a short bit, after them only being there for about an hour, I was puking and passed out. Oh fun. What the heck is wrong with me there is no "Control" when it comes to drinking. My mother was an alcoholic when I was growing up, I certainly don't blame her entirely. Its time I stand up for what I really want, and that is to be happy and sober, and to live a healthy life with my wife. She had to sleep on the couch last night. It's now or never, today is the first day of the rest of my life. I know with her support and my own will power I can't defeat this demon.
- —Guest M.Z.
- I am trying to quit but just keep failing, I know that this thing is going to ruin my life and my families if I dont do something about it, I just want someone to talk to. Is anyone listening if so please respond.
- —Guest Dave
Out of control
- I have been thinking and thinking for a long time now, but for me, it's time to start doing. I am a binge drinker. I am verbally abusive towards my husband. And I won't remember any of it in the morning. Convenient for me, not for our relationship. I am afraid if I don't stop I will lose him. It's not fair for me to curse at him, while he puts me to bed and I wake up all happy, like nothing happened. Because I don't remember. He deserves better, I am already out of hand but, I know it could get much worse. So, for him and my 2 year old, I am done. They deserve all the best of me. Saturday was the last for me. Hopefully, my husband can let go of his anger, which he is rightfully entitled to.
- —Guest Sandy
It really felt almost impossible
- My name is Heather, my father is an alcoholic. I know thats the reason I am one, not to mention I am only 21. I want, need, to stop. Though I look normal, act normal, the urge to drink is always there. I dont want the drink to have me, so why did I decided to quit drinking? I will not be like my father, such a wonderful man. He is. At only 21, I am not going to be him at 52. My children will not see me like that. I felt like it was almost impossible, but I know I'm ready. I have always wanted children, and that is the reason I decided to quit. I will not make them part of my cycle.
- —Guest I am Heather
- Guest Dolly73, It's hard. I have an impressible 11 year year old niece who is like my child yet stunned by my behavior, She is so smart & I am embarrassed. She looks or did look up to me. I love her & saddened by what I have become ... a drunk. Lost my husband, her loved uncle. Looking where to go from here.
- —Guest Natasha
- I have never felt so low in all my life, its not the drinks fault its mine, I drink every weekend and normally pass out, my Daughter is scared when I drink, I can not believe its getting to me like this now, I need to stop otherwise, I love waking up normal, last night was the final straw for me, I will eat and not even remember that I have eaten, I'm disgusted with myself, I need to do this for my beautiful Daughter who will be 10 this year, I promise you Hope mummy will be back again, not the devil when she drinking, like so many of you, I cant stop at 1 I have to carry on I want to love myself not hate myself anymore, you guys have helped me big time thank you and I wish you all the best xx
- —Guest Dolly73
I have a problem
- I am drinking again. Supposed to see doc at 10.10. Don't think I can make it. This alcohol thing snuck up on me. Im thinking of anto booze tablets. I lost my kids,my home and my independence due to car crash whilst drunk, was in a wheelchair 3 months and I cant quit. Ive lost so much weight and cannot eat.
- —Guest shar
To young to be trapped.
- I am 22 now and I am almost done with my undergraduate degree. I feel that I drink too much because of the environment that I am in. In college it is so easy to miss a class here and there. I have joked with people in the past that as long as you are able to function you are not an alcoholic. I know and I have known that statement was never true, it was something I told myself to make me feel better about my habit. I love my life now as it is, I stay in shape and I keep my grades up; however, I fear the worst. I feel myself falling into a trap. I don't want to become a slave to this thing that has gradually slipped its way into my life. Both sides of my family have had problems with alcohol, including my mother and father. Three of my family members in my grandfathers generation died from alcohol related problems. I am a philosophy and polysci major, being able to control myself is something I use to pride myself on. Now I am not so sure.
- —Guest Tyler
- I'm currently in the grip of a bad relapse but start from today to get back on the wagon. Why? because I have no job. About to become homeless and while I drink I can never hope to resolve these issues. It's horrible to admit and write down but there it is. Addiction is all consuming, nothing else matters. You don't even have the relief of dying,(not guaranteed anyway!) so you just have to carry on living in a drink and drug induced haze which is no life at all. Easier said than done though. That is the choice though. 1 addicted messed up disastrous life. (going nowhere but insanity) 2 clear concise successful happy life (going anywhere you want to)
- I am 55 and have been a binge drinker since I was 13. I stopped drinking for 4 months last year. Those were the best days of my life. I can't seem to get back there again. There was an open AA meeting that i was going to once a week. That is what made it easy but I never committed to the program and that site closed. I am an alcoholic but I never said it there. I drink on weekends and wake up feeling ashamed. I promised myself I would go to AA if I drank again and now I am making up excuses again. For me alcohol is a very effective depressant and I know i need to stop. My whole family is focused on drinking when we get together so that makes it hard also. I also feel ashamed because our kids and nieces and nephews are now at the age they can drink and this is the example we have set for them. I know I need AA. I don't worry about the higher power thing. It doesn't get in the way of my spirituality. I would encourage anyone who is considering AA to not let that get in the way.
- —Guest Anna
To: danlooking if you still are
- I recommend staying on this same site but under the section of real people something rather (I cant remember the rest after real people) there is a section about withdrawals there are a lot more people talking on there that give good advice and listen and respond. I found it because like you I am not a very religious person (I may say god or o lord but for me its more of a figure of speech) anyhow I've only been sober for 4 days and it has helped me a lot getting thru. you might find what you're looking for there. good luck to you! god bless (just kidding) no offense to anyone please.
What helped me
- What helped me most in deciding to quit being a "bender" is I didn't want to live the way I was living anymore. Nothing good ever came out of me drinking. then my husband of 11 years told me that if I didn't stop he and my 3 kids would be gone. Woah, he's put up with me for so long I knew he was serious. and I don't blame him. Recently my drinking had become much more heavy I ended up putting my kids in danger because I would pass out and they would do things they knew they couldn't do if mommy was awake. Thankfully nothing bad ever happened but it could've easily and I probably would of slept right thru it. I am dealing with that guilt and shame right now (which is almost unbearable by the way) because I am only 4 days out on being sober. but I know that I have to continue to be sober in order to keep the ones I love. plus if I cant take care of me I certainly cant take care my family. if that isn't motivation enough to not drink I don't know what else is.
Trying to quit
- I have been drinking since I was 15 I am trying to quit drinking I have stopped drinking for 1 week. My husband drinks to and seems to try and tell me That we can control our drinking ourselves. I want to believe him but I know that deep down that will not work for me. I have had many blackouts and drink over 2 bottles of wine . I have 3 kids the oldest is 15 years old and is having a lot of trouble in school there is a tone of anger in my house all the time. I feel like I'm not really there for my kids emotionally . I feel frightened all the time and ashamed inside my husband keeps denying that We have a problem with drinking but I know I do. My Dad is a recovering alcoholic and my husbands father died young from alcohol abuse. I am a co dependent with my husband and feel if I get help he will not and this will not work in the long run. I have looked up new member meetings for AA and I have not come up with the courage to go yet.
- —Guest breda
not such a merry xmas afterall
- Went out over xmas with friends and workmates now i have neither quite simply because i was verbally abusive and rude now im suicidal all because i cant control my alcolhol
- —Guest davy 1234
I know that it is time. Please help me.
- I have had enough. I know that I have. My family tells me about all of my anger. Yes, I am angry, I just don't know why. I cannot let go of crap,that bothers me. I am not a very religious person. If that precludes me from AA then I am not sure where to go next. Although I have all of the trappings of success, my life pretty much sucks. I need help and I do not know where to turn. Please do not bother to respond if any part of your soulution involves accepting Jesus, Buddha, or any other "higher being". Just not in me up to accept something that does not agree with my fundamental make up. No offense intended.