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Readers Respond: What Helped You Most When You Decided to Quit Drinking?

Responses: 121

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Updated March 23, 2013

It really felt almost impossible

My name is Heather, my father is an alcoholic. I know thats the reason I am one, not to mention I am only 21. I want, need, to stop. Though I look normal, act normal, the urge to drink is always there. I dont want the drink to have me, so why did I decided to quit drinking? I will not be like my father, such a wonderful man. He is. At only 21, I am not going to be him at 52. My children will not see me like that. I felt like it was almost impossible, but I know I'm ready. I have always wanted children, and that is the reason I decided to quit. I will not make them part of my cycle.
—Guest I am Heather

Offended

Guest Dolly73, It's hard. I have an impressible 11 year year old niece who is like my child yet stunned by my behavior, She is so smart & I am embarrassed. She looks or did look up to me. I love her & saddened by what I have become ... a drunk. Lost my husband, her loved uncle. Looking where to go from here.
—Guest Natasha

Totally ashamed

I have never felt so low in all my life, its not the drinks fault its mine, I drink every weekend and normally pass out, my Daughter is scared when I drink, I can not believe its getting to me like this now, I need to stop otherwise, I love waking up normal, last night was the final straw for me, I will eat and not even remember that I have eaten, I'm disgusted with myself, I need to do this for my beautiful Daughter who will be 10 this year, I promise you Hope mummy will be back again, not the devil when she drinking, like so many of you, I cant stop at 1 I have to carry on I want to love myself not hate myself anymore, you guys have helped me big time thank you and I wish you all the best xx
—Guest Dolly73

I have a problem

I am drinking again. Supposed to see doc at 10.10. Don't think I can make it. This alcohol thing snuck up on me. Im thinking of anto booze tablets. I lost my kids,my home and my independence due to car crash whilst drunk, was in a wheelchair 3 months and I cant quit. Ive lost so much weight and cannot eat.
—Guest shar

To young to be trapped.

I am 22 now and I am almost done with my undergraduate degree. I feel that I drink too much because of the environment that I am in. In college it is so easy to miss a class here and there. I have joked with people in the past that as long as you are able to function you are not an alcoholic. I know and I have known that statement was never true, it was something I told myself to make me feel better about my habit. I love my life now as it is, I stay in shape and I keep my grades up; however, I fear the worst. I feel myself falling into a trap. I don't want to become a slave to this thing that has gradually slipped its way into my life. Both sides of my family have had problems with alcohol, including my mother and father. Three of my family members in my grandfathers generation died from alcohol related problems. I am a philosophy and polysci major, being able to control myself is something I use to pride myself on. Now I am not so sure.
—Guest Tyler

Dead End

I'm currently in the grip of a bad relapse but start from today to get back on the wagon. Why? because I have no job. About to become homeless and while I drink I can never hope to resolve these issues. It's horrible to admit and write down but there it is. Addiction is all consuming, nothing else matters. You don't even have the relief of dying,(not guaranteed anyway!) so you just have to carry on living in a drink and drug induced haze which is no life at all. Easier said than done though. That is the choice though. 1 addicted messed up disastrous life. (going nowhere but insanity) 2 clear concise successful happy life (going anywhere you want to)
—Gibsonfirebird

Best times

I am 55 and have been a binge drinker since I was 13. I stopped drinking for 4 months last year. Those were the best days of my life. I can't seem to get back there again. There was an open AA meeting that i was going to once a week. That is what made it easy but I never committed to the program and that site closed. I am an alcoholic but I never said it there. I drink on weekends and wake up feeling ashamed. I promised myself I would go to AA if I drank again and now I am making up excuses again. For me alcohol is a very effective depressant and I know i need to stop. My whole family is focused on drinking when we get together so that makes it hard also. I also feel ashamed because our kids and nieces and nephews are now at the age they can drink and this is the example we have set for them. I know I need AA. I don't worry about the higher power thing. It doesn't get in the way of my spirituality. I would encourage anyone who is considering AA to not let that get in the way.
—Guest Anna

To: danlooking if you still are

I recommend staying on this same site but under the section of real people something rather (I cant remember the rest after real people) there is a section about withdrawals there are a lot more people talking on there that give good advice and listen and respond. I found it because like you I am not a very religious person (I may say god or o lord but for me its more of a figure of speech) anyhow I've only been sober for 4 days and it has helped me a lot getting thru. you might find what you're looking for there. good luck to you! god bless (just kidding) no offense to anyone please.
—Lrlongest

What helped me

What helped me most in deciding to quit being a "bender" is I didn't want to live the way I was living anymore. Nothing good ever came out of me drinking. then my husband of 11 years told me that if I didn't stop he and my 3 kids would be gone. Woah, he's put up with me for so long I knew he was serious. and I don't blame him. Recently my drinking had become much more heavy I ended up putting my kids in danger because I would pass out and they would do things they knew they couldn't do if mommy was awake. Thankfully nothing bad ever happened but it could've easily and I probably would of slept right thru it. I am dealing with that guilt and shame right now (which is almost unbearable by the way) because I am only 4 days out on being sober. but I know that I have to continue to be sober in order to keep the ones I love. plus if I cant take care of me I certainly cant take care my family. if that isn't motivation enough to not drink I don't know what else is.
—Lrlongest

Trying to quit

I have been drinking since I was 15 I am trying to quit drinking I have stopped drinking for 1 week. My husband drinks to and seems to try and tell me That we can control our drinking ourselves. I want to believe him but I know that deep down that will not work for me. I have had many blackouts and drink over 2 bottles of wine . I have 3 kids the oldest is 15 years old and is having a lot of trouble in school there is a tone of anger in my house all the time. I feel like I'm not really there for my kids emotionally . I feel frightened all the time and ashamed inside my husband keeps denying that We have a problem with drinking but I know I do. My Dad is a recovering alcoholic and my husbands father died young from alcohol abuse. I am a co dependent with my husband and feel if I get help he will not and this will not work in the long run. I have looked up new member meetings for AA and I have not come up with the courage to go yet.
—Guest breda

not such a merry xmas afterall

Went out over xmas with friends and workmates now i have neither quite simply because i was verbally abusive and rude now im suicidal all because i cant control my alcolhol
—Guest davy 1234

I know that it is time. Please help me.

I have had enough. I know that I have. My family tells me about all of my anger. Yes, I am angry, I just don't know why. I cannot let go of crap,that bothers me. I am not a very religious person. If that precludes me from AA then I am not sure where to go next. Although I have all of the trappings of success, my life pretty much sucks. I need help and I do not know where to turn. Please do not bother to respond if any part of your soulution involves accepting Jesus, Buddha, or any other "higher being". Just not in me up to accept something that does not agree with my fundamental make up. No offense intended.
—danlooking

i dont want to die

my brother found me on the street at 4am screaming, i had been pepper sprayed. i was out of my mind blacked out. i came home and screamed for hours i woke the neighbors up, i attacked my brother. 3 months ago i was arrested for public intoxication. it starts off slowly and then increases. you start forgetting how you got home, losing items. it gets worse and worse and it always wins. i have no idea how to have only a few drinks. i black out every single time now. i am an amazing wonderful outgoing sucessful woman sober. i am a psycho crazy terrible woman drunk. i am determined to be alive and happy and quitting alcohol is the only answer for that to happen. i have said before that i need to quit drinking but ive never felt the way i feel today. i contemplated suicide multiple times. i dont know how it got to this point but i can never drink alcohol every again for the rest of my life. i am an alcoholic.
—Guest clare

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you & not harm you, plans to give you hope & a future. (JEREMIAH 29:11) Dear Help, you CAN do it! I know you can, God can deliver you from this strong hold. You ask, how do you know? I know, because...He delivered me.
—Guest Help

Relapse

I've been drinking since I was 15. I'm now 34 have an amazing wife and two kids. I claimed to quit drinking over a year ago but it has slowly been leaking its way back into my life. Last Friday I actually got a hotel room so I could continue to drink by myself. I fell off the cliff and now realize I need support and I cannot do it alone! I've been reading all day. Thank you all for sharing. I won't live past 40 if I continue drinking. AA here I come!
—Guest Derek

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What Helped You Most When You Decided to Quit Drinking?

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