- Im on day 5 after a 12 day bender of vodka. almost a liter a day from morning to night and not much to eat. the worst part of my withdrawal is the complete exhaustion I feel over doing the simplest things like do the dishes or take a shower or clean. also heart palpitations. I also completely lost my appetite and was having problems chewing and swallowing solid food. f'n scarry. I went on a liquid diet for the first few days soft food like salad. all of a sudden out of nowhere I was able to eat solid food like nothing and was hungry yesterday. weird
- —Guest withdrawls suck
Today is my Birthday and a welcomed one
- Today I will be turning 62 and finally I am the mature woman I am suppose to be. My inter child is no longer in control of my life. I have been running away from me for 50 years having no clue of where I was running to. Abuse was all I have ever known. Lack of trust and self brought me almost unbearable pain. Fear controlled every movement of my life. No longer using drugs, alcohol and denial has opened up 100 doors some bad but mostly overwhelming good ones. The 2 years of my dedication to my self and the many tears that came with it has finally brought me the feeling of loving me and the permission to be happy. Giving me permission was what I was looking for all along. I have learned that love is a gift. When given it is a gift we willingly give everyday and with that comes with a lot of responsibility. When received it also comes with a lot of responsibility. I have had to set boundaries that I and others can not cross and in doing that I have found my SELF and peace.
- Ok so I have always been a "binge drinker" I don't drink daily. Usually twice a week to the point of blacking out. Then puking and misery all the following day. Usually it lasts till late evening. But I'm tired of it. It so much money and I speak out my ass and can't control my words. Just stupid foolish. Then the horrible feeling of what did I say? What did I do? OMG it's mortifying. So I'm doing it. My husband drinks daily but he drinks beet and I prefer hard liquor and wine, but there will be wicked temptation. I know I can cause I have been pregnant twice and didn't drink, so I can. Just hard cause it's such an escape from myself. Will be hard learning to live with my self cause this has been my escape since I was in my late teens, so going on 12 years or so. But I have so much good in my life and don't want to be alienated.
- —Guest facing the truth
- Thanks so much for your kind words. Ive been exercising the last 3 days and feel a whole lot better. It does work in calming down the stress from not drinking. Good luck.
- It is so awesome to see so many fighting Alcoholism. This was the greatest fight of my life. It made me think it was a friend, my only answer to life and it's stresses. The light at the end of the tunnel is heavenly, our purpose is to become who we are meant to be. I know it seems that life is long and we have plenty of time to make positive changes but it really isn't. No time to waist on an artificial life of man made substances. Life is was we make of it sober, true and honest, filled with dreams and hopes. May this year be your year of changes and growth and wonder memories. Lost time you will never get back. Hugs Clue
When will I be able to sleep again?
- Male, 38, healthy, professor. I'd always been a social drinker & I smoked herb at night to fall asleep. Then new job, new town, lots of stress, & no weed. About a year ago, I replaced herb with beer, & then wine. It put me to sleep. A bottle of wine or a six pack every evening. I shrugged it off as "normal." I rarely got drunk just "tipsy," but I recently began to crave that drink. On Sunday, my wife expressed concern. It wasn't my behavior, but my health. I drank myself to sleep every night, & couldn't sleep without it. I'd gained 30 lbs, grown more irritable, and suffered mild but noticeable cognitive impairment. I downed the last beer and set out on the road to recovery. The rebound insomnia is horrible--I have not slept since (even w/OTCs). But my mood has improved & I regained some clarity. Its day 2: minor auditory hallucinations, irritable, tired. Didn't realize it was withdrawal until around 4:00am, when I found you. Scared. But your words & stories provide strength. Thank you!
- —Guest hubris
This has to end
- Going through withdrawal again I feel horrid.the drinking must stop forever.
- —Guest drummer dude
To: Guest Runner Girl
- "and I hope I cross paths someday with other souls like myself wanting more out of life than a drunken binge and a hangover." You will :)
- —Guest Rock bottom
1 Week, feeling better
- After years of using alcohol as an activity and then a crutch, decided that I need a change, what a waste of time money and myself it has been. Concentrating on diet, work and exercise. Making a commitment that instead of picking up that drink, climb on the bike. Not saying that it is easy, but definitely need to change routines in a major way.
- —Guest Fed Up
Happy Birthday slimkin1!
- Great job on 3 weeks! I'm also 47 and at around 75-80 days now. It just recently started getting easier and the doomy fog is lifting. So hang in there and no matter what don't drink! Loneliness is better than poisoning yourself only to feel more lonely after it wears off anyway. It's kinda hard for me to hang out with my friends who drink because we are no longer on the same wavelength with them two sheets to the wind and me wanting to engage in real conversation. So I read, run, and watch lots of netflix...and I hope I cross paths someday with other souls like myself wanting more out of life than a drunken binge and a hangover.
- —Guest Runner girl
- I know exactly how you feel. Social anxiety is the bain of my life, and alcohol provides the relief. It's the same for most sufferers. The only relief I've had was when I was given Librium by my GP to get over withdrawal symptoms. That worked, but guess what? it's addictive. Talk about irony....
- —Guest Megabeer
- Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'm 2 days off three weeks now. Today is my birthday , the first one I have ever spent sober. I feel a bit depressed with no grog but are getting there by keeping myself busy and taking up reading novels again. I lost a lot through drinking - my children, years that I could have spent looking for a job that I wasted. I'm 47 today. I'm staying away from another drinking friend as well who doesn't think shes an alcoholic but cant live without it. Its a bit lonely without my drinking friends. This site has given me ideas on other things I can do with my life. Thank you
- —Guest slimkim1
- To Yvan Thank you so much for your input. It means a lot to me. Things are on track but i still find it tough. Xxooo
- —Guest Caroshannon350@gmail.cpn
- Thank you. Seeing people that understand makes me feel better. I don't attend AA, I attend a place called "Terros". Which is a facility that provides psychiatric help (including prescribed medicine) and therapy groups. You have to attend three, two hour sessions a week for a month in order to receive any type of medication. Problem is I'm in these groups with convicted felons, meth addicts, sex addicts, and schizophrenics. I'm not judging anyone, but I'm plainly an alcoholic, I've never been arrested and I don't do any drugs, so I feel a bit nervous in these groups at times. It's free though, covered by my Medicaid, so it's what I have to do. I've cut off members of my family because they are too much for me right now. I had a glass of ice tea on the counter, and I caught my mother-in-law smelling it. I flew off the handle. I threw it in her face and said, "CAN YOU SMELL IT NOW?!" Yeah, I'm a little on edge. So I prefer books and movies, rather then people.
- —Guest Josie
- After being forced to go to the hospital, Alcoholism and being alcohol dependent is now permenetly on my medical records. I now may not be accepted for the disability I applied for because of it. I'm running out of money, and fast. If I hadn't drank to excess this would not be so. I tried to treat my social anxiety with alcohol, but nobody seems to focus on the anxiety - just the alcohol. Take the alcohol away, like now, I have anger rages and panic attacks, like I did before I started drinking. But nobody sees this. They just see the alcoholism. This is one heck of a mess I'm in right now. It's like every time I feel like I'm climbing out of the hole, I fall into another one.
- —Guest Josie