Have to stop
- I'm just starting. I have to stop - my life revolves around alcohol now - when I can drink and how. I've become a recluse - don't answer my phone or my door. I work full time, but can't wait to get home and start drinking. I feel helpless. I tell myself I'm going to stop, but the find myself in the car heading to the liquor store. I'm hoping that being on this site will help. My doctor's given my Xanax so I can sleep. I can't live this way. Why can't I be normal?
- —Guest Jessie-Ellen
Breaking free from alcohol
- Finally I'm starting the journey to sobriety for the third time in my 14 years of addiction to disappearing from the world through alcohol. I'm 28 and am suffering such powerful withdrawal that I can barely hold up my head. My neck is in constant spasm and any slight anxiety ensures so that I can not look directly at another person, let alone hold anything steady. Realizing I cannot meet my family for dinner made me sober up for tonight. I cannot go to work in this state; iI've wrecked too many jobs due to alcohol dependency. I'm in control not the booze. I like sleeping deeply, feeling great and healthy, having stable moods, self-confidence, being alert, and knowing I'm leading my life, not beer, vodka, wine, soju, whiskey, cider. Their effect and excitement are falso. I will win, however many binges over however many months. I will regain my happiness that alcohol stole unwittingly and mockingly from me when I first tasted it at the innocent age of 12. It's won for too long. Me 1, DTs 0.
- —Guest runningfree
My Day 5
- Its May 9 Mother's Day, my mother would be so ashamed of me if she knew what I've been. Well it's onward for me. The evening of Day 4 for was tough while prepping dinner, usually when I would start with a few pops of vodka. I stopped and ate an orange it helped. Right before we ate I took 1/2 Xanax, it was OK after dinner. I slept for about 11 hrs. with a couple naps in the day. We went to freind's for dinner, I resisted and it wasn't too hard. Slept another 10 last night with some bad dreams so I guess that has started. I thank God for this help and this blog's inspiration.
- —Guest 2009sam
- I lost my wife, my kid, my house. Have a court date and don't know how it will turn out. I want to stop, but what's the point now. I have the shakes, feeling like a lowlife. always reaching for the bottle. I will go into program before court tells me to. Hopefully in time will have my family back,
- —Guest future unknown
Good Luck Everyone
- It is not easy admitting you have a problem and that you are an alcholic. I am. I just turned 35 yesterday. I have been married for ten years now and have two beautiful daughters. They mean everything to me, but you know as I sit hear typing and reflect on the last ten years I have spent nearly every night coming home from work and drinking. I drink about 1.5 bottles of wine and 2 cans of bourbon nearly every night. My wife was in tears today because of my problem and I finally saw the desperation in her eyes. It is killing me and my family and that is why today I am going to stop. I thank you all for your honesty and your words of encouragement. Many have quit and we will too.
Something's gotta give
- I have drinking heavily for 5 years and the last few months I've gotten myself up to a 750 ml bottle of vodka almost daily. When I get up in the morning, that is if I slept, I would need a shot or two to get going. If I had finished the 5th the night before the shakes and muscle spasms not to mention a near migraine would drive me right to the store. You know what I am speaking in past tense, I am still drinking. Right now just to keep the hangover from creeping up,but I have made the first step into admitting that this has gone too far and told my friends and family so. Not that they didn't know. So Monday,only because there was no bed sooner, I will be admitting myself into a detox rehab facility. I have a great life out there and I am gonna get it back. It;s goning be intensely hard, this much I know, but after two DUIs and countless embarrassments,fights with my hubby and nightly bad dreams, I think it's time to turn the page. Wish me luck, alcoholic bloggers! May we all succeed.
- Today is the first day of the rest of my life alcohol free. No more headaches, shakes, blackouts, runs, sick stomachs, ulcers, rashes or spots. No more shaking, fogginess, forgetting or worse remembering, guilt, fear, remorse, depression, isolation, loneliness, lies, masks, living hells. All in the name of alcohol. I refuse to try pretend anymore. I refuse to let every day be a ground hog day. I am so glad that I have read the posts. Thanks, all you have opened my eyes to what I have been doing to myself. We can make it there is help in AA with good people who have lived the same way and found a way to recovery. For those who have lived in an alcohol enviroment Al-Anon can be a life line, it brings understanding to the insane way of living with the disease of alcoholism. Good luck and god bless.
- I started drinking when I was 18. I began because of a high school sweetheart breakup and other than a 2 year lapse have drank everyday since. I'm 44 now. Beer is/was my choice of drug. I'm on day 6 of beating my addiction. This day has been the worst. I haven't experienced any shakes, pains, bad dreams. I actually sleep better now than when I was drinking. My problem is the mood swings, I have an irrational rage and sometimes want to destroy everything around me. I have a constant feeling of restlessness in my surroundings. I feel like if "I could only run away, escape" everything would be ok. I know this is the alcohol calling to me, run back and drink myself into the bottom of that can and everything will be ok. One day at a time. Thanks for letting me vent.
- —Guest Norlite1966
My Day 3
- Well with the help of a Xanax I had pretty good nights sleep but still fatigued. I had dreams but not bad ones, at least I had dreams I usually don't remember dreaming. I still have a few involuntary jerks and constant dull headache. I am committed to getting off the roller coaster. After 35 years of boozing its time. God bless everyone and good luck.
- —Guest 2009sam
Losing the fight
- Long story short. @ 17 my parents split, became an alcoholic. Drink 20-30 beers a day sometimes liqour 10 years of hell! Been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning AND delirium tremens numerous times - my hangovers are wickedly sick so I self medicate with tranquilizers after years it doesn't even work anymore.. I tried to kill myself in my bathroom 3 months ago by putting a 9mm to the back of my ear and pulling the trigger - it didn't go off I looked in the mirror like WTF? And then it fired and blew a hole thru my wall. (hang fire - it happens like one in a thousand) I spent the next 3 weeks staying with my mom and once I moved back to my apartment my roommate was so happy to have her friend back - she was very supportive. Suffice to say I got back on the pills and alcohol and it is again destroying my life. I've tried drinking in moderation it does not work! Right now I'm hungover and I've been trying to sleep for hours took 2mg Klonopin and still can't sleep. My lungs hurt from cigarettes and I just know if I don't stop this will kill me... soon! Please pray for me.
- —Guest Guy Ashley
My Day 2
- It's been about 31 hours since a quick pop in the morning. Yesterday was the worst day I've ever had from a hangover. Today is better no more shakes or liver pain but anxiety. It sounds like day 3 may be the worst. I've been drinking since I was 18, now 55. I have been drinking a 1.75l bottle of vodka every 2-3 days for a good while. I want to get alcohol out of my life. I am shooting to get 7 days under my belt then another 7 and so forth. With my wife and God's help I can get through it.
- I have been going to meetings and have been wondering when this is going to hit. 3-6 avg beers per night for 3-5 years. I have been drinking 30 years and never made it this long without an excuse to go back... good to see this support..
- —Guest whatthe....
Just Getting Started
- I've been reading all of your stories here and it calms me to know that this is possible. It also scares me of what I'm about to go through. I've been drinking for a lot of years and have tried quitting a few times only to cave in when the shakes and sweats kicked in. Tomorrow is day one for me.
- —Guest tanos135
I've failed every time even though...
- I've attempted to slow/stop my drinking several times, never really making it past 11 days. I've failed three times on that 11th day, and I'm not sure why. This time I'm taking an antibiotic that has harsh side-effects when consumed with Alcohol as a deterrent. Otherwise, I always enable myself, or have someone enable me to go right back to it. I want to clean my act up for my new wife. I hope y'all don't hate me for posting here, as I can't claim the withdrawal symptoms many have to deal with. I simply have urges to drink, but I can go without it without many physical/emotional symptoms. I do get a bit irritable here and there, but nothing more. I've been drinking almost non-stop for about four and a half years, and those 11 days are probably the longest I've gone without booze. I want to stop it now, before it becomes a big problem. Finding this site here helped me out a bit, as it shows me what some have to deal with. I wish best of luck to myself and everyone on here.
- —Guest Anonymis Chris
Spelling and grammar
- Something that always amazes me about AA meetings and just about every self-confessed alcoholic I've known is the common trait of high literacy and intelligence. You all write brilliantly and while I'm struggling hard today, it's truly inspirational to be in the comments section of a website where every single person is capable of expressing themselves coherently. I work on the web and don't think I've ever seen this level of literacy elsewhere. Power to you all, we shall overcome.
- —Guest Disco