- You are so right about being my own worst enemy. The voice that was telling me two weeks ago how well I was doing is now telling me I should treat myself to a drink and that I will handle it just fine! After several relapses this is completely not the truth. This site really helps me be objective about my problem and that I need support. I understand as well that my desire to be well has taken on a force of its own and I am so greatful. It is not so much cravings but definitely more psychological.
- —Guest Am I there?
- Fighting123, you need to realize that you are fighting a disease the same as you would fight cancer. Would you tell someone with cancer that they can fight it on their own? Alcoholism attacks your wisdom,self esteem, well being, what you believe in and then tells you that you are garbage. What are you left with? How can you fight something that has taken even your ability to fight? Would you tell someone with cancer that they were losers and weak? This is what you are up against. Please see it for what it is. You cannot do this on your own. From a song we all know: Until he appeared and the soul felt its worth!
- —Guest Am I there?
- I am really having trouble sleeping and i am on day 3 of being sober, i must have had 6 hours of sleep in 3 days, im 28 years old and have been drinking for 4 years, will normal sleep pattern come back and if so how long roughly any help appreciated?
- —Guest guest66
My boyfriend is trying todo whats right
- My boyfriend is thirty four, when I met him he drank constantly and I was already pregnant. even though this was the case he loved me for me and I loved him and his off the wall jokes. he slowed down on drinking over the course of my pregnancy, that was a hard task for him in itself. Now my little girl is two months old he has decided to quit cold turkey. Im proud of him but scared for him as well. this morning I woke up with him over me panicking saying babe I know who u r but I cant remember your name, or my little girls or his own for that matter. I had to tell him and he calmed down but was acting confused and disoriented all day. he snapped at me several times and was what I call acting an ass for no reason and just so sudden. we have had over five fights in just today. His mood has bn a complete roller coaster I even raised my voice at him out of frustration which is also not normal of me. he complained of a headache and says he feels he is in a dream but he refuses help. what do I do?
- Reading your last post Igotaclue, I really have started aswell to understand (slowly) what sobriety is about. I find myself too thinking about the "great" time of drinking in the past, and yes it is hard to do it alone, fighting the voice, facing the emotional part of new sobriety, hard to deal with PAWS. It is hard, but doable, and yes we all are going through difficult and painful times. But it is so so so worth it. This site is my daily strengh, my daily reminder, and my daily light when sometimes lights go out. I am so so aware of relapse, about a fall, a failure, that would made me feel awful, withdrawals that get worse everytime, and my family and friends who would suffer again, because I would be the one I used to be, useless, miserable and dying, if not dead. If the word recovery is part of our life now, I pray with all my heart that relapse will never be the one we will have to post one day about ourselves. Dark is behind, light is ahead to all of us on this site. Hugs.
- —Guest Yvan
This is my first post
- I'm at lunch right now and had a couple shots. It took me a while to decide if I wanted a second one because the bad shakes went away finally. Yesterday I woke up trembling so bad and thinking so hard about who would notice if I DID drink. But I had to. I took a quiz, I need medical help before I should quit. I'm trying to taper down. My bf and bff are trying to tell. Got anti-anxiety stuff but not working so good. Makes me sleepy. I have to work tonight :( but tomorrow I'm doing a 2 day detox. I hope it works.
- —Guest LostGirl
severe alcohol withdrawal at 30yrs old
- I quickly became accustomed to the process of alcohol withdrawal. After starting on vodka and samagon (hm made vodka % 60.) Probably in first 18 months 1 bottle (1125ml) every 12hrs for 10 then to two and up to 3 weeks drinking at the most. After which of course I would start coming down. Day 1. Start sweating and shaking. That night I would need to prepare sofa. Plastic bags to spew in and towels on the floor. Lots of water bottles. Early hours start spewing so strong and so much. Become afraid and feel like everyone knows. Start to hear neighbors talking about me. And am sure they have cameras poking through the curtains. The tv I watch to try to distract myself. I think the same program or film keeps repeating over and over.By morning in my mind, my cup has black squiggles in it. I've spewed so much I've pissed the blankets the sofa and maybe diarrhoea. Cant move. Laying down like a stiff plank. Shuddering and so cold. My muscles hurt from rigidity. My neck hurts, stiff. Get
- —Guest Andrea
- im in day 2 of no alcohol i drink every day and have been on a really big bender the last three weeks i feel sick have hot and cold flushes and my palms are sooo sweaty is this normal any response should i go to hospital
- —Guest tahlia
to jerrychef et all
- congratulations my friend! what a powerful lesson for all of us, on the same journay and in such different stadia each, but we are each other strengh! thanks and God bless From this side of the globe to you all. courage and perseverance will win. pace e bene ( san Francesco d'Assisi)
- —Guest IamMe
Giving it a try.
- Been looking at this site for a while. Been in denial of my problem for a while. Most of my friends are alcoholics and have a family history. Find myself easily downing an 18 of tall boys I drink till I pass out or blackout. The only time I have tried to quit was a year or so ago when I didn't even know I would get withdrawal symptoms. Heart issues and auditory hallucinations....basically thought I was going crazy...anxiety and mood swings were so horrible. After waking up yesterday super hungover and drinking 4 beers for no good reason I decided I need to stop. Went to the doctor this morning, had a bit of the shakes and high blood pressure and got no sleep last night whatsoever. The doctor gave me Valium and I slept there a while so they could monitor my vitals. Just got home with 2 doses for tonight and tomorrow. Still scared, I can go a day or two without drinking; I'm afraid the real symptoms will start in a day or two. Your posts make me feel a little better though...thanks.
- —Guest Pessimistic but hoping
- Congrats to you on your 30 days! You must be feeling so much better now. Now is the really challenging part. I am now over 6 months sober and have found that I have had to change my thinking a great deal. I find myself at time thinking about the great times of drinking in my past. Old stories from friends really make me want to have thoses time again. I was glorifying my drinking. My fighting the emotional part was telling myslelf over and over that I know what is right for me to do. I had to understand why I drank and believe in why I shouldn't. Quitting drinking is a process. It took time to think like a drinker as well as it takes time to unlearn that thinking. I can be sober yes but happy about it is a different thing. To know I am having a 10 minute bout with craving is my mind not dealing with something. I need to understand my needs because I drank them away. Yes it is hard but very doable. If help is needed go for it. It is hard to do it alone. You can be your worse enemy.
DRUGGED - warning movie (to be cont.)
- again, thank you mary for this link. For all those who didn't see "drugged - high on alcohol" I recomend this utube video, so powerful that hurts. Yvan, congrats for yours "youth cure" that you feel 15 yrs younger! In my journal I include several of your sentences that sound like a quote. It helps. today, from better_now: "picture yourself the day after a drink: hangover, regrets. . ." true! in my case I can add empty promises too, when vomiting in the bathroom. . "never, never again". . . repeating like a mantra. I try every help I can find and to keep my mind alive while I write my journal. And, as said guest GSR
- —Guest IamMe
common sense - ? (amIthere)
- thank you dear Am I there for an analisis of our condition. When you write that - "alkohol has the power to override our common sense" I started to reflect on my own condition and the history of my drinking. I am grateful to you, am I there, for helping me - us - in this journey. unfortunately the common sense is not common. . . . . God bless
- —Guest IamMe
15 days and sobering!
- today it will be an optimisting note: I believe in the willpower and in the prayers. And on the good heart, experience, and compassion or rather - empathy of true friends here! Thank you, thank you specially liftmeup, clue and mary. And of course all, all of you who give me strengh to avoid this "one"drink witnessing the terrible moments of another fall, another withdrawal time, and to learn that every next one is worse then the precedent one. I pray for you all, for us, to resist in this wonderful world of sobriety. Lets go dry! God bless
- —Guest IamMe
To:Mary and all
- Mary, you brought me to tears. I don't know why I am fighting this damn bottle so hard. I quit, then I pick up, been the same roller coaster for awhile now. I know the wonderful feeling of being sober, but just can't accept that "never drink again". I don't know why I'm fighting this, I keep blaming my depression/anxiety, but that all gets so much better when I don't drink. My eldest makes comments when she sees me pour my wine, it saddens me and should be enough to wake me up. Why is this so damn hard. Wine has been my best friend and worst enemy for years. I need to WANT this, I know my life will be so much better. The kids are on summer break in less than 3 weeks and I NEED to put this shit down for them before they are home all day with me. Maybe that will help, but I have to do maintain sobriety, the roller coaster is mentally killing me.
- —Guest Fighting123