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Buddy T

Nine Types of Binge Drinkers Identified

By September 24, 2008

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British researchers have studied the social and psychological characteristics of drinkers who regularly consume twice the recommended amount of alcohol and have identified nine types of heavy drinkers. The U.K. Department of Health hopes to use the information to target public health campaigns at those who are drinking at risky levels.

According to the British National Health Service, alcohol-related illnesses cost the government about $5 billion a year in healthcare expenses.

"This will be a tough one to crack," a spokesperson told Lucy Cockcroft in a report for The Telegraph. "Research found many positive associations with alcohol among the general public - even more so among those drinking at higher-risk levels. For these people alcohol is embedded in their identity and lifestyle: so much so that challenging this behavior results in high levels of defensiveness, rejection or even outright denial."

Nine Types of Binge Drinkers

According to The Telegraph, these are the nine personality types of heavy drinkers:

  • De-Stress Drinkers use alcohol to regain control of life and calm down. They include middle-class women and men.

  • Conformist Drinkers are driven by the need to belong and seek a structure to their lives. They are typically men aged 45 to 59 in clerical or manual jobs.

  • Boredom Drinkers consume alcohol to pass the time, seeking stimulation to relieve the monotony of life. Alcohol helps them to feel comforted and secure.

  • Depressed Drinkers may be of any age, gender or socioeconomic group. They crave comfort, safety and security.

  • Re-Bonding Drinkers are driven by a need to keep in touch with people who are close to them.

  • Community Drinkers are motivated by the need to belong. They are usually lower middle class men and women who drink in large friendship groups.

  • Hedonistic Drinkers crave stimulation and want to abandon control. They are often divorced people with grown-up children, who want to stand out from the crowd.

  • Macho Drinkers spend most of their spare time in pubs. They are mostly men of all ages who want to stand out from the crowd.

  • Border Dependents regard the pub as a home from home. They visit it during the day and the evening, on weekdays and at weekends, drinking fast and often.

What is your opinion? Do you know of any other types of heavy drinkers? Click on the comments link below and let us know.

December 9, 2008 at 12:56 pm
(1) Chris says:

Yikes. I know people that fit 3 or 4 of these categories, will they ever be able to stop?

January 10, 2009 at 2:48 pm
(2) Nan says:

Me, too, Chris. My best friend has a serious problem with binge drinking. He fits into several of those categories. I am hoping we can find the right way to help him.

March 2, 2009 at 2:37 am
(3) John says:

Some people may have a problem with binge drinking, but I know myself and a lot of others who can party responsibly. I have a 3.7 gpa in Electrical Engineering. Graduating this spring… as long as I dont die of alcohol poisoning first.

March 4, 2009 at 8:57 pm
(4) B says:

Yeah, I think I’m a binge drinker and for me it’s definitely Hedonistic along with De-stress. But it’s only 1 night a week. I think I’ll be okay but I think I need to give up soda for the sake of my waistline…

March 9, 2009 at 12:37 pm
(5) Meaghan says:

I don’t know really about what i would classify my Fiancee, but he does it for all the resons up there but macho and on other one, He does it at the worst of times, and i am really sick of cleaning up after him, it has come down to the fact i feel like i am his mother, and of coarse he drinks to prove he can… is this a binge drinker or a full blown alcholic…..keep in mind he only does it on occasion. what do i do?

March 20, 2009 at 2:59 pm
(6) izennr says:

I am a binge drinker for most of those reasons. I do because it helps me not think too much about what others think of me and to feel accepted. I will give up drinking and seek help.

March 21, 2009 at 7:37 pm
(7) elise says:

I definitely binge drink to let go and just have fun. It only happens when I go out which is only about once a month nowadays but it’s ruining my relationships. I become mean and I black out from events that happened that night. It need to stop.

March 22, 2009 at 4:31 am
(8) Steve says:

I think that this study misses one important tytpe, that is underage drinkers, who drink due to the fact that it is illegal or cool.

April 3, 2009 at 10:52 pm
(9) Lori says:

Hello all,
I would like to let the young people know that there are so many young AA groups around for college age people. These kids are amazing, and happy to be sober. Check it out if you think you need help. You won’t feel alone.

April 28, 2009 at 1:45 pm
(10) susi says:

I lived with a binge drinker (alcoholic)for 2 years. When he was sober he was the nicest guy in the world, but when he went out he would not come back home until he had no money left or the pub would no longer serve him, because it was closing or they refused to serve him. He would stagger home sometimes on all fours and looked a mess and embarrased me. I stopped going out with him because of his drunken states. I looked after him probably like a mother without any thanks. We are no longer together now but I miss him terribly. Dont know why, but I must have loved him some how. His father was the same as is his sister and brother. His mother is in total denial of all her family and is a manic depressive and I never got any support from any of them. Sometimes I ask myself why I let such a person into my life. I think I wanted to help him but was not able to. It has left me totally drained and disillustioned to say the least.

May 1, 2009 at 3:19 pm
(11) Suzan says:

I am still living with a binge drinker. He and I have been together for almost 5 years. He is a wonderful, caring, loving and intelligent individual. BUT… he drinks when alone and of our social activities surround alcohol 85% of the time. He has caused me to lose touch with my family and consume my life. I have cleaned up after him in his work and family relationships. I am the “mender” of all thinks he “breaks”. It is a lot of pressure on me and he apologizes profusely and yet, still here he is drinking. He does go long brief stints w/out boozing it up, but … does he really? I am not around him 24/7 and hold his hand. So, when I clean the house I do see that he has hidden empty vodka and beer containers and it KILLS me to see that. I have zero trust and respect for him and yet… how do I or can I get that back? He needs help but I think he feels he will come across as weak, when in all actuality he is a weak one for not getting help. He obviously cannot do it alone, or with me “attempting” to assist. I feel sadness for those who have or are in my situation. Only wish he could see that he is a perfect person w/out alcohol, and a total idiot with!

May 6, 2009 at 5:47 pm
(12) Danny Snow says:

i am a 54 yera old white male that definetaly fit at least 7 of the 9 you’ve mentioned..I’ve had great success quitting drinking on my own, thru A.A., rational recovery, in-patient treatment, over the last 25 years but i seem to keep going back to the booze as soon as I’ve fixed everything I’ve screwed up..
Emails and advice are being asked for now as the beast has once again reared its ugly head..,
Danny Snow

May 16, 2009 at 11:59 am
(13) Sherry says:

If you are with a binge drinker GET OUT NOW. It won’t get better. I’ve been with one for over 30 years. It actually drove me crazy!! I am depressed, taking anti-depressants and getting counseling. We are in counseling together and he is in total denial. I think he always will be. He says he’ll cut down, but that only lasts a few week, every 4 or 5 years. Then it’s quickly back up to 5-12 drinks per night. GET OUT NOW before you’re married and have children!! He’s a good provider but at what other cost1?

June 12, 2009 at 11:47 pm
(14) juli says:

my 20 yr old son is going downhill fast with alcohol. HELP i cant seem to help him, i just need advice on how to do it. He is 1 of my 4 sons and he has a heart condition from birth. I love him so much that it hurts to think of this, but i believe i will lose my boy at a young age unless someone can help me. PLEASE, anything

June 15, 2009 at 5:05 pm
(15) ByronD says:

All I have is AA (the accumulated experience of millions of alcoholics since 1935). But -as far as I can tell, all nine ‘types’ are drinking for the same reason – they are looking for the ‘sense of ease and comfort’ described in the Big Book of AA. To classify them based on occupation suggests that occupation affects drinking motivation, which is in fact not the case. The big distinction to be made is between drinkers who get a sense of ease and comfort from drinking, and those who get it when not drinking. According to AA, these are the two basic types of alcoholics. So – IMHO this list is dangerously misleading.

June 17, 2009 at 1:35 pm
(16) Jenni says:

I’m a 25year old white female. I’ve been a binge drinker for the the past three years. I have been to treatment twice. I am active in Celebrate Recovery which is a Christ centered 12step group across the country. The longest I have been without drinking was almost 60days. I struggle everyday with the shame that I am an alcohlic, that I let myself get to this point because of past hurts and hangups. It is very hard for me to accept that I will NEVER be able to drink like a “normal” person. But I will never stop working the program because I know that as soon as I think I’m okay and doing well, I start sliding back into my old destructive behaviors.
I encourage those who have a problem to look into Celebrate Recovery and AA for support. It has helped me to not feel alone when I think no one understands why i “can’t just stop drinking”

June 21, 2009 at 9:51 am
(17) Claudette says:

Hi Jenni,
Dont ever be ashamed of being an alcoholic. At first I was a bit ashamed as well but now am ever so grateful to have realized this and through the program of AA and the fellowship of all of the other recovery alchoholics one day at a time I am more and more proud to know and have the tools to keep it in check! Good Luck to you with your recovery. You can do it!!! ONE DAY AT A TIME!

June 22, 2009 at 2:27 pm
(18) Ken K. says:

To all who suffer,
My biggest fear when I stopped drinking over 3 yrs. ago was what will I do with all my free time, that drinking took and how would I have fun, without out booze. It did not take long to find friends that were just like me, that we shared a common problem, that I could sooo relate to. You can find the same thing for yourself in A.A..

June 22, 2009 at 10:32 pm
(19) A better way says:

Being with a binger is frustrating, confusing, and often scary. It also tends to drag you into a lifestyle on some level, which is a real negative. Perhaps consider getting out when they have not admitted a problem and have not stopped or sought help. Sure enough the binge behaviour will not change, and will usually be re-triggered or may intensify depending on who the binger is associating with in any given season. Again if they FAIL TO ACKNOWLEDGE the problem and that there is obviously A BETTER WAY to live, then you could be wasting your time. Check out support groups and websites – there are ways to cope with people in your life like this.

June 26, 2009 at 5:33 am
(20) m D garan says:

Yes. I am a Re-Bonding Drinkers are driven by a need to keep in touch with people who are close to them.
How to avoid it?

June 26, 2009 at 8:14 pm
(21) Anonymous says:

Hi all, I have been living with a binge drinker for 10 years, as others have said when he is not drinking he is the most wonderful person, but when he does, I am expected to go and pick him up (which I do gladly, that way I know he is safe), but when he gets home he become aggresive and starts on me and the children and starts throwing things around in the house, anything he can get his hands on, I have to hin all valuable before he gets in so they wont get smashed.

July 2, 2009 at 11:52 pm
(22) Jason says:


I know of a friend of mine. He drinks. But he is doing the most horrible thing: asking people for money and use it on his beers and all stuff. Is that serious? If yes, then I need to report it to the mental hospital. I know he’s 24 years old. but still, he needs help again, and it is not his first time drinking too much.

July 4, 2009 at 12:11 am
(23) Fiona says:

For many years I enabled my ex-husband to drink by covering up for him. Finally, when he nearly killed us both in a drunk driving accident, I realized I was going to die if I didn’t get out of the marriage. I urge everyone who loves an alcoholic to find an Alanon meeting today. That wonderful organization will help you learn how to save yourself and how to accept that you cannot “fix” the alcoholic.

July 13, 2009 at 12:56 pm
(24) Jon says:

Anyone who drinks alcohol is a major addict. Alcohol is a poison and should be banned.

July 18, 2009 at 10:07 pm
(25) KB says:

I’m married to a binger. I’ve only been married two years and have endured many sleepless nights. My husband attends an event like a golf outing drinks heavily – then stops at 3-4 bars on his way home. Does he think he is missing something? We are not young – he is 55 and I am 49. I’m devastated by his behavior. Yes – I do drink – but at home and do not drive after consuming alcohol.

September 11, 2009 at 8:52 pm
(26) Sileraldo says:

Well this seems to be about 90 % of the population lol what are erst doing ? I can’t think of one person I know who drinks 1 beer or wine without having more..besides Piccard on the Enterprise….

September 21, 2009 at 9:02 am
(27) Chesty says:

I love binge drinking. Its awesome I do it all the time and always have a great time

October 1, 2009 at 5:04 am
(28) denise says:

i have been seeing a guy for 7 months and i love him dearly but his binge drinking is soul destroying, it takes away all the trust and just when u think he wont do it again then comes the big bombshell hes away again, staying in hotels for days constant drinking then either hes ill or the money runs out and hes back. i say time and time again this is the last or its over but im still here as i know deep down this isnt the life he wants, he wants to be a normal guy but up until he realises he cant drink normal this will keep happening. i try to be very supportive and understanding and do realise he drinks mostly to run away and hide from problems in his personnel life, he has started to address things and is now on anti depressants for his depression and also taking campral for anti cravings, so as long as hes trying i’ll support him but like most people in my position you just never know when that day might come when hes off again then its back to square one. im as helpless as anyone in this situation and dont know if i’ll ever have peace of mind, its such a sad place for everyone involved including my partner. i just live in hope that one day i can trust my partner to say never again and mean it. if theres any success stories like my situation i would love to hear from anyone

October 1, 2009 at 8:25 am
(29) Miss M says:

Hi, I’m a female binge drinker, 45 married with 2 older teenage kids. You wouldnt believe the things I have done while drunk … I dont believe them … in fact I dont remember most of them … unfortunately my children do !!! I have cheated on my husband of 16 years many times this year. I go out … I get drunk … I get horny … I get laid. At the time it means nothing. I have a good respectable job & only drink once or twice a week, but up to a bottle of scotch when I do drink. I have lots of drinking buddies. I thought I was just having fun. I used illegal drugs half a dozen times while drunk this year … cocaine, speed, meth, dope … if someone offered I accepted … after all I was having fun !!! UNTIL I realised (thanks to the most wonderful supportive person I’ve ever met) that I am an alcoholic. I stopped drinking 15 days ago. My kids are very happy about this, & proud of me. I don’t want them to feel pride because their mother managed to stay sober this Friday & not flirt with one of their friends !!! … It has been difficult but I’m doing it “one day at a time”. I AM going to make it … I will always be an addict (I have multiple addictions) but with my sponsors support I will conquer this and have the life that I crave, instead of craving the alcohol.
Good luck to everyone else out their battling this addiction. Find a sponsor, go to AA, see your Doctor, just do something …… Miss M :-)

October 13, 2009 at 9:38 am
(30) Jocy says:

I am still living with my husband and have been for the last 41 years. I got married when I was 18 years. For early on, my husband has been a heavy drinker.
He is a very kind person, well mannared and considerate but unfortunately when the alcohol kicks in (every night before dinner) it is hell. The alcohol goes into his brain straight away. Socially at times, he is at his worse. I could write pages and pages of experience of my hard times. When we socialise I am always on a tight rope. Matters got worse since retirement, he still does not drink at all during the day, he has stuck to his routine to drinking in the evening which used to consist of beer, whisky and wine.

This has stopped now and he has two drinks each night but he still drinks plenty when we socialise.

He is trying now to stop drinking during the week and he is saying he is going to decrease his alcohol consumption when we socialise.
What do you think? Should I keep on hoping that this situation will get better. I love my husband.

October 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm
(31) Natalie says:

I dated a binge drinker for a year and a half. I never drank very much until I met him and almost instantly he was leading me down his same path. At first it was fun. But a year later I was so tired of it. All the wasted Saturday and Sundays laying around with hangovers. What a waste of life. I just recently got out. It has been so hard because I loved him so much but I feel so much better not drinking like that anymore. I agree with everyone who says if you’re with a binge drinker…GET OUT!!! U will start to feel normal in about 3-4 weeks. As soon as u get up start a new routine. Something motivational…prayer, self help c d, something to get you going in a positive direction first thing and stay positive.

November 25, 2009 at 11:10 am
(32) Desiree says:

3 of my closes friends are in the feel like they need to belong and my ex is in the re-bonding one. i dont mine my friends at much but everytime my ex drinks he has to talk to me. I wonder how the future will be for him????

November 27, 2009 at 10:35 am
(33) Joanie D. says:

I’ve been in AA for the last 5 years and have relapsed twice. I am definitley a binge drinker, the De-Stress kind. I can surely relate to the woman who was talking about being drunk around her children. It was a nightmare for him. I am finally on the right path and have a sponsor who is a wonderful person. I am doing all the things I should have been doing in the beginning, but it is what it is, and I’m okay with my here and now. If you think you have a problem, or someone you know or a loved one tells you that you might, you probably do. Listen to them. Get help for yourself first, then for them. If you don’t do it for you, it won’t stick. Peace. Joanie D.

December 17, 2009 at 5:01 am
(34) ria says:

We should include ” Trigger Drinking” here. Every time one is comming clean, there goes off that trigger, usually emotional in nature[ like a fight with a boyfriend] that gets you back in again, even if its for the night. I think its the trigger that needs to be controlled, one has to be strong enough not to let emotions get the better of you, cause when you wake up in the morning yoy would be thankful that you managed to overcome the momentery trigger the previous night.

December 30, 2009 at 5:06 am
(35) SYLVIA says:

My husband is a binge drinker, he drinks one night a week at home, usually friday or saturday, and he drinks really fast, on 27th December, 2009, in three hours, he drank a box of white wine, bottle of shiraz, and four beers, he couldnt speak, he was shouting, swearing, causing trouble in the home, I have a 13 year old daughter, I called the Police, he was arrested and is now on a 12 month bind over to keep the peace, I want to kick him out, but I am scared, my daughter, has tried to speak to him on many occasions about his heavy drinking, he blames me and says I shouldnt ring the police, says I am wasting police time, this is domestic abuse, mental, I am at my wits ends, I dont know what to do, is anybody else going through what we are going through. This is not because of Christmas, this happens every week, its a nightmare.

January 10, 2010 at 3:35 pm
(36) bev says:

Hi my name is Bev I’ve been married 30 years in April and i know what your going threw and it will not get any better believe me. I have finally moved out on the 29Th DEC, but only next door. My husband last November fractured his skull falling down the steps drunk i wanted to leave him then but i believe all his promises that he would stop once again , one years on and he’s the same this xmas he just went on the piss the day after i moved out he got pulled in the morning 3 times over the limited driving. I’m 48 years old i’ve been with him since i was 14 and got married at 18 . the first year of my married we had trouble with his drinking , get out now before its too late he wont change

January 17, 2010 at 10:41 pm
(37) Jen says:

I do drink and I wanna stop it’s ruining my life! I hate it I drink for two to three days at a time.when I’m not drinking I am thinking about it. I gave hurt people that love me and I make it very differcult to love me.I feel gulity alot of times so I drink because I don’t want to feel guilty. About all the stupid things if done . Now I try to hide do one knows because if no ones then there’s no guilt. Then I feel like I accompished something. I need help before it happens my drinking !

January 28, 2010 at 5:30 pm
(38) JENNIFER says:


February 2, 2010 at 6:33 am
(39) Helen says:

I have been married to a binge drinker for 6 years now. Reading through the previous comments I realise I have to leave him as he is in denial. This is my second marriage, I left my first husband and child for him and I feel very let down and helpless. I realise he is not going to change, maybe he will if I leave him as I have been threatening for years now, and it makes me very sad.

February 4, 2010 at 9:17 am
(40) Maggie says:

I am 23 and I developed an alcohol problem two years ago. This past year has been the worst. After not smoking for four and a half years, I started smoking again while I was drunk at work. Yes. Drunk at work. I would buy bottles and bottles of vodka and bring them to work with me in my purse. I would swig back vodka in the morning or any time of day. I have lied to my b.f of 5 years over and over and OVER again and I am destroying my relationship with him. A few days ago I drank 3/4 of a 750ml bottle of vodka… That could have killed me.
I drink until I almost die. I have blacked out many times before and it’s just luck that I haven’t choked on my own vomit or stopped breathing in my sleep.
Alot of people leaving comments are asking for help….

March 8, 2010 at 2:41 pm
(41) maureen says:

I think I am a binge alcoholic?

April 3, 2010 at 12:11 am
(42) Annonymous says:

I’m a binge drinker. I have a LOT of CONSTANT financial problems and I’m in/out of work as they phase me in/out of jobs that don’t seem to last…alcohol is my answer; inhibitions go down and my ‘happy’ level goes up; seemingly the perfect solution. I’m big on mixed drinks so the T.G.I Friday’s drinks on the market are my solution…I’m ironically in a Drug Use & Abuse class and I fit the profile of a binge drinker…and I feel guilty for drinking SO MUCH (I do Long Islands which have Gin, Vodka, Tequlia (my fave) and Rum in them) and I get very tipsy/drunk on a regular (weekly) basis. My buds jokingly call me an alcoholic…I’m heading that way; it runs in my family…I’m afraid of what I’m doing to my body (my boyfriend is 26 years my superior so our chances of having children if we get married are slim) and my brain…and my psychological condition (I’m Bipolar) …alcohol is my answer to the stresses of life….I’m a de-stresser & depressed drinker…Ria: I identify with what you said- there’s ALWAYS that trigger…I’m only 24 but I have developed a horrible drinking habit; my parents drink on a regular basis but nothing to the amount I do…I feel guilty in the morning for drinking SO much the night before and swear it off, and then it all starts again cos the guilt fades…I need help.

April 11, 2010 at 2:56 pm
(43) Alexa says:

The sad thing is I was looking at this list because my brother has a problem with drinking. He drinks too much and tries to drive. He got his first dui a few months ago but still wants to drink. The sadest part of it all is I looked at this list and realized that I myself fall into about 3 of those catagories. Maybe just because I haven’t gotten caught doesn’t mean I don’t have a problem.

April 21, 2010 at 7:59 am
(44) Paul says:

I am coming 2 the conclusion that i am an acoholic, i woke up this morning after drinking 8 cans of beer, i never want a drink during the day its always about 8 oclock in the eve (almost every night), i dont often get drunk 2 the point when i cant remember parts of the evening (but that might be because i have forgoten). i hold down a good job and always struggle with money problems 2 wards the end of the month,all my social activites revolve around drink for example i play football then its in the pub, i climbed a mountin over the weekend the first thing i wanted 2 do is have a pint, play golf and want a drink, even after a run, any coments would be welcome because my friends and famliy havent expressed there concerns, in fact when i bring the subject up they tell me i dont have a problem, i think the fact i have 2 ask someone is the answer 2 my question!!

May 2, 2010 at 2:18 pm
(45) Bob says:

I was a binge drinker for many of the reasons others have given. I had the blackouts, 2-day hangovers, missed or messed up important events, had 3 failed marriages, yet I stayed in denial for many years.

It started when I was a teenager, and I bragged as an adult of how much I could drink, often driving myself and others home after-wards, including my own children. I was lucky I never killed or maimed anybody, but nevertheless, I hurt plenty of people’s feelings with my behaviors when I was drunk. I am thankful the lessons I have had to learn so far haven’t been that hard. Others have had it much worse.

Today is the 18th anniversary of my first day of sobriety. When I was 36 I came to see alcohol for the poison that it is, and that my idolization of the substance and lifestyle was harming me and others.

I have never been to an AA meeting, but I attended a 3-week drinking cessation program where I learned about the battle of the 3-headed dragon of addiction.

The first head is “using”; one must lop off the first head by stopping all use of alcohol. This is essential to being able to think rationally, which is required to effectively attack the second head.

The second head is “negative thinking”; one lops off the second head when they stop idolizing alcohol and the drinking lifestyle they have embraced. When you accept as fact that alcohol is the problem, you are well on your way to loping off the second head.

The third head, “emotions”, is more elusive as it draws its power from within each of us differently. It preys upon our subconscious weaknesses. It has given us each a reason to turn to alcohol for relieve from its scrutiny. When we shine the light on the third head we have to look in the mirror and accept whatever we see with unconditional love.

This morning I am worrying about my teenage daughter. I got a call from the police to come and pick her up last night because she had been binge drinking with friends to the point of blacking out. I am sad to see her doing this to herself. She resents my efforts to intervene. She is the only one that can go to battle with the 3-headed dragon in her life. But I’ll be cheering her on every step of the way.

To others out there reading this … maybe you came to this website because you thought, during a moment of rational thinking, that you might have a problem with alcohol. Keep a hold of that thought, and add to it your hopes for your future.

The battle against the 3-headed dragon is not easy, but it is a battle anybody can win when they set their mind to it. The people that truly love you will support you in the battle. There will be epiphanies along the way that will confirm you are on the right path.

Let today be the first day of the rest of your life as a recovering alcoholic. Quit while you are ahead and still alive. Lop off the dragon’s first head as soon as you can, and keep thinking of alcohol as the dragon you must slay, one moment and one day at a time.

Good luck on your journey.

May 11, 2010 at 11:04 pm
(46) sher says:

Thank you so much Bob. We all needed to hear that.

May 24, 2010 at 5:35 pm
(47) Louise says:

I started binge drinking when i was about 24. I’m 27 now and would love to say it got better but it didn’t, it got worse. I’ve been in so many awful situations through drink, i am very lucky to still be here. Tomorrow i’m seeking help for this by seeing an addiction specialist. I can’t drink anything ever again simple as that. SCARY!! Its either all or nothing with me and i choose life!

May 29, 2010 at 10:37 pm
(48) mondrian says:

First of all, the definition of binge drinking currently in use is confusing. Binge drinking in reality refers to a long period of sustained drinking at one time, not 4-5 drinks a night. Binge drinking refers to “a weekend” of drinking or “a bottle of gin a day” drinking. Most of the comments on this page sound like the amount consumed is a lot more than 4-5 glasses of wine or beer. Unfortunately the term has been hi-jacked by the anti drinking lobby. On one side, people who are probably fine with their drinking are demonised, on the other side people who drink far too much are lumped in with the moderates. Drinking needs a few more categories than “moderate” or “binge”, otherwise there can be no rational judgment and comparison.

June 8, 2010 at 5:51 pm
(49) Angela says:

My husband of 11 years is a Binge Drinker. It is usually triggered by stress, but sometimes there is no trigger that I am aware of. He goes out to drink with his buddies, and usually doesn’t come home till the next day. Lately he has been coming home, but at 4 in the morning. Other times he would drive drunk, or just pass out in his car. I am vey frustrated with his actions. He has been a Binge Drinker from the beginning. I thought he would change. He usually goes out every 3-4 months on a Binge. It is always just long enough for me to forgive him, and then he does it again. Needless to say, our marriage is almost over. I no longer trust or respect him and am now reading into his illness of alcohol abuse, and my subsequent co-dependacy to him. There are many books out there on the issue of Alcohol abuse and the spouse/family dynamic that creates co-dependancy on the situation. I now know that I cannot try to control the situation any longer, or change him. I can only help myself.
When sober he is a wonderful and caring person, but when drunk he is very mean. I wish that I had never married him, and have now wasted 11 years on a marriage that is just 1 or two more binges away from divorce.
We don’t have kids yet, Thank God! I feel sympathy for any wife deaing with this issue, and reccomend that you check out some books about Alcohol Abuse and Co-Dependancy.

July 2, 2010 at 4:44 pm
(50) ro says:

am a 47 yrs old male been divorce x multiple reason 1 is my drinking. been to prison 5 times for (dui)i started drinking at the age of 16 am still drinking
but by reading ur comments. i know that am not along
this is a very legal strong adiction & at the same time we destroy our self and our love one’ am making some calls to put my self ina support grup or rehab center i can’t take this any longer it really hurt to live as a alcoholic.waste of life & waste of money.please pray x me and those who are in need of help. god bless u all.ths x letting me share

July 17, 2010 at 6:19 am
(51) Daniel Garnham says:

Most binge drinkers will fit several or even most of these categories to some extent whilst a particular category or categories will be most appropriate to describe their individual relationship with alcohol. As with any addictive behaviour, weather to drugs or alcohol the relationship the addict/dependent has on the substance/s they abuse will vary from day to day/ week to week etc. Consequently their behaviour will vary. The binge drinker will suffer extreme highs and lows and exaggerated emotions often innapropriate to the situation. Addicts/dependents to alcohol/drugs will also suffer paranoid and/or delusional thoughts and associated behaviours. Of particular concern is the effects of frequent excessive alcohol consumption by one or both parents on family life. Child developement, particularly learned behaviour are clearly areas of concern. Of paramount importance is the effect of the persons alcohol consumption on their ability to care for children and provide a safe secure environment for them. There needs to be immediate and thorough assessment of this. As addiction/dependence usually go hand in hand with denial or even aggressive defensive behaviour, providing help and support for the drinker can be very difficult. When the addicts/dependents whole life centers around drinking, being drunk associateing with other drinkers and copeing with the effects of excess alcohol, stopping or changeing this behaviour is extremely difficult. A multi faceted approach is necessary, which will mean providing advice, support and the individual completely altering most if not all aspects of their life. Some people will simply not be willing/able to do this. Even when the negatives of excess alcohol clearly outway the positives any addiction is hard to break. My personal concern and the reason why i write this rather lenghthy comment is that my ex partner and the mother of my child is a heavy binge drinker/alcoholic. She fits most of the categories above and suffers all of the expected extremes of behaviour. Clearly she has a serious problem which effects her life and those of her children, particularly my 15 month old daughter. As expected she defends excuses and trivialises her drinking to all that comment upon it. Even though the extent of her problem has been proven and documented by court ordered hair strand testing and social services are involved, she is still un-willing/unable to admit the extent of her problem and alter her behaviour, being more concerned with defending her drinking and related behaviour than with putting our child first. It is a good thing in terms of providing treatment to identify various types of binge drinker but their needs to also be more attention placed on the risks to children and how to assess that. Particularly when the times that many parents binge drink is when the agencies there to help are not at work. I hope that identifying these types of binge drinker is used to improve help for the binge drinkers and more importantly by the children effected by their parents selfish behaviour.

July 31, 2010 at 10:13 am
(52) CM73 says:

I am a 36 year old white male. I have had an alcohol problem for most of my adult life. I believed that it would get better, and it didn’t. I am on day one after a relapse. I don’t believe in the whole “starting back at zero. I heard someone recently say that in golfing, you don’t paint pictures, you keep numbers. I have had some luck with Smart Recovery and I take antabuse when I am not drinking. It seems to keep me in check as long as I take it. I feel for the people that we alcoholics/problem drinkers cause for those around us. My wife has put up with plenty from me. My first wife left because of my drinking. That was doomed to start with. Please remember that we don’t intentionally set out to harm people with our drinking. I like the three headed monster analogy listed above. We deal with negative emotions differently than others. So, think of the fact that those emotions and lies we tell ourselves are so powerful that we hurt ourselves and others just to get away from it.

August 9, 2010 at 7:12 pm
(53) Liz says:

i stayed home from work to day in order to take a good look inside myself. i have realzed i’m a binger.

wish my luck

August 9, 2010 at 11:10 pm
(54) Emma says:

My boyfriend starts drinking with the intention to stop but he can be gone for days with his friends. I dunno what to do his friends dont help. i dont understand how he can stop during the week and start so heavily on the weekend. It just doesnt make any sense to me. he is getting counselling but its such a slow process it is dragging me down

August 11, 2010 at 3:04 am
(55) D-Dog says:

Look im A drunk that will tell you what binge drinking is . it’s just an excuse…. I put my dog down … That hurt .I drank for 3weeks .good excuse? had to move cause ? What ever you know life is life not all drunks are bad people but most do cause havoc for those around them. (sorry to say). Binge Drinking & alcoholism can not really be considered the same thing. from what I have read on here most are dealing with alcoholism. I’m not going to give you any real info cuase( mainly I’m an idiot that out thinks all the programs) AA does work if you will be able to be completly HONEST with yourself (no one else really matters) if you think YOU have A PROBLEM you probably DO ! If you have someone in your life that has an Alcohol problem then you really should seek the help of A-Alanon if you should decide to stay with the person or not either way it would do anyone good to make better choices for the future. As I said in the beginging I am a Drunk I drink way to much But I do believe in what I said Because I had Over 9 years sobrity though A.A. & believe it is a good start for recovery for anyone .
Don’t give up it’s just a journey live life love it & kick ass cause what happened yesterday don’t matter (if it sucks you can fix it) what happens in the future ( can be a dream come true) but DON’T count on it be in today BE WHERE YOUR HANDS ARE

August 28, 2010 at 7:17 pm
(56) erica says:

I realized today that I have a problem with alcohol because I woke up again this morning and ONCE AGAIN couldnt remember most of last night because I binge drank a lot. I don’t know why it was this morning that I decided that I officially had a problem but in some odd way I actually feel better now that I have made it official. In some way I feel better because I don’t have to worry anymore if I have a problem. Looking back, I can tell that I have had a problem for a while.

I guess I am just afraid. Afraid to say that I have an alcohol problem because it means I have to fix it. What if I can’t? I know Im not a bad person but I just wish I wasnt like this.

The other day I was asking myself what my worst problems in life were. I realized that my worst problems all come from alcohol. Then I realized that the one horrible thing in my life is something I can control. I am the one choosing to drink the way i do. So does that mean I want to have an alcohol problem? Does that mean I have some kind of bizarre longing to “be an alcoholic”? I am not sure….

September 7, 2010 at 10:49 pm
(57) Chicago D says:

I’m 45 and started drinking when I was 15. It’s always been a social activity and I’ve never been one to drink alone. Married at 25, divorced at 30,.. the reason I left my wife was largely due to her binge drinking. I was typically one who could take it to the limit without having WAY too much and not remembering things I said, did, etc. I’d say that I was good 9/10 times which was the equivalent of about once every 2 – 2 1/2 years.

But over the last year or so, it seems like I go WAY over more than half the time when I drink. While I can’t say that I drink any more often than I have the last 15 years, I am noticing that I seem to be losing my ability to know when to slow down or stop.

It’s scary, because I know that during these episodes I have made some very poor choices. And while these choices have not had a major impact on my life thus far, I’m not comfortable with poor choices having even a minor impact. The way I see it, it’s a numbers game and it’s only a matter of time. I’ve been weighing the positive and negative impact that alcohol consumption has had on my life and considering whether or not it has a place in my life anymore,…

September 8, 2010 at 7:08 pm
(58) Horselover Fat says:

I binge drink because I hate my life.

September 9, 2010 at 10:22 pm
(59) John says:

What about the Party Binge Drinker? Love them!

October 2, 2010 at 8:37 pm
(60) Katie, says:

I have a boyfriend and he’s a bit older then me. I Have always known that he had struggled with a drinking problem. It’s a really hard thing to deal with. Most of the time I am there for him to fall back on but recently a few nights ago. He showed me a side of him while he was buligerantly drunk, that scared me and really realized that he needs SERIOUS Help. Can anyone direct me with the right thing to do. I love him and want to help him.

October 6, 2010 at 12:44 pm
(61) Sarah says:

Hi Katie,

Reading your email sounds just like me 4 years ago. Just because your boyfriend needs help with his drinking, it does not mean you need to be the person to provide that help. My BF binges regularly and does not see the purpose of just having one drink, i.e. he drinks to get drunk. He has made a show of me on so many occasions, has a DUI, has taken cocaine and has spent so much of our money on binging.

Thing is, like you, I knew he had a problem, and when I initially broached the subject (first of many times), he said he too needed help. But a drinker will always be remorseful ‘after the event’ when they are feeling ashamed, or hungover or annoyed at themselves. That is when they want help, but remorse is transient. Within days it is a distant memory and the excitement starts to build for the next drink. And hence the cycle starts again.

As a partner it is so frustrating. Another poster said about the 3 headed dragon, they need to shift their perspective to view alcohol as not something to be looked forward to, but something that causes harm and unhappiness to their (and their families) lives. Only then will there be a permanent change. We own a place together, have joint debt and for so long, I have used this as an excuse to not leave. But on Sunday, I just said no more. I have broken up with him citing the alcohol abuse as they reason and he now tells me I’m boring and need to lighten up and I’m not the person he met. Truth is, he is choosing alcohol over me. And I am choosing life, a happy one, over trying to help someone who wont help themselves. Ask yourself Katie, if he really wanted to change, he would have done it by now. Run, be happy and hopefully for him, he will eventually change for himself.

October 11, 2010 at 1:58 pm
(62) EvilNevyn says:

i match at least 7 of the catorigres listed i belive i have a problem where can i go to for help

October 11, 2010 at 2:18 pm
(63) BuddyT says:

You can click on the “Getting Help” link at the top of this page for many different types of help and support.

October 11, 2010 at 2:33 pm
(64) EvilNevyn says:

thanks BuddyT

October 17, 2010 at 11:04 am
(65) Inked says:

I have recently confronted my girlfriend about her excessive drinking,she drinks fast and doesn’t stop til there is no more beer in the house.Since I confronted her she,to my knowledge,hasn’t had a drink but constantly says” a cold beer would be good,but I’m not allowed” I feel like a warden not a boyfriend,I deeply care for her but am I setting myself up for disappointment?

October 22, 2010 at 6:55 am
(66) Allison says:

I have been with my drinker for 8 yrs. We are engaged. I recently kicked him out. We are now seperated on the condition that he will stop drinking. I told him i will give him a year to get better. I feel like I have tried everything I could to help and nothing works…..he is still in denial. I feel so helpless. I love him and sometimes I feel that living without him is harder than living with the drinking. I know that I am doing the right thing but its so hard.

October 25, 2010 at 4:28 am
(67) LP says:

Hi Allison, sounds like you have done the right think – don’t doubt your decision, you made it for a very good reason. It is perfectly normal for you to miss your partner, 8 years is a long time, but it is easy to forget the tough times when you’re on your own and just think of the good times you had together. If you’re anything like me though good times were overshadowed by drink and a constant obsession with ‘one more’. I am going through the same thing & I know in my heart I’v made the right decision, doesnt make it any easier though. Good luck.

November 7, 2010 at 7:57 pm
(68) liz says:

it begins with one beer, then two shots and before i realize it im past tipsy and straight into pissy drunk. it is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend . i have decided to stop drinking all together.

November 11, 2010 at 2:55 am
(69) Briton says:

so i’m only 17 but i’ve been binging since i was 14 =/
the first time i ever drank it was everclear and i was
just hooked.
when i turned 16 i was drinking almost every day, doing loads of drugs, skipping
school, even going drunk.
by the time i turned 17 i was holding a solid job, on the honor roll, great girlfriend, and still drinking almost everyday. i didnt even realize i had a problem because for so long there was no sign at all.
then i got completely hammered before my senior night at a football game and fell on the field (i’m in band) and nearly got arrested. that’s when i knew.
i’ve been sober only 5 days and i think i’m withdrawing and crave allllll day.
i wanna be able to just have just one drink on the weekend but i’m afraid i’ll fall back in
any suggestions?

November 17, 2010 at 9:12 pm
(70) Hana says:

I think this is a great converation, especially because it includes those who have stopped denying their problems with alcohol and those who love the alcoholics. I have had both addictions, and they will both destroy your soul. I became suicidal after being married to an alcoholic for four years and ended up in a rehab faciity for codependency. It totally saved my life. Codependency is the addiction to the addict, thinking you can save someone from his or her addiction, and all along you are also addicted! It’s a substitute for love, and the best treatment is AA if you’re the alcoholic or Al-Anon if you’re the co-dependent. These programs are time-tested and really do work.

November 24, 2010 at 5:40 pm
(71) John Mcentee says:

I guess I am a binge drinker because i,ve been drinking at least 6 or 7 beers every day for 40 plus years. I guess it hasn,t bothered me because I,m a self made millionaire was an All american swimmer and a two time national open age group rower in my 50′s and I raise hell every now and again and again. Do you think I still need help? Maybe it’s because I workout every night then I drink beer.

November 30, 2010 at 11:20 pm
(72) jeannie says:

been married to an alcoholic 5 years.Its a living hell.Once he quit and started back,almost lost his job,gota d u i started back again and i will get out eventually. life is too short.it robs u of who you are. not worth it.

December 16, 2010 at 7:20 am
(73) Jon says:

Yeah, I binge drink. So what? I probably am a hedonistic drinker, by this classification, because I drink heavily for a while (usually weekends) only to appropriate chaos in my life. Otherwise, I’d be a constant control freak and, well, that ain’t great. I have heard that binge drinkers make more over their lifetime than regular social drinkers (who makes up this crap anyways?). It’s a lifestyle and live up to it. I work out 6 days a week, drink for 2 of them and ya know what? The remainder of the nations (USA) average person is obese. So, drink, be marry, have a blast, and STOP with this BS of classification.. Assess yourself and you’ll be fine, so long as your results are positive… No need for psycho’s. hahahah

January 25, 2011 at 5:28 pm
(74) martyblue says:

This is a great discussion and very helpful. I, too, am a binge drinker and have been for many years. I fall into several of the categories above. I can go without alcohol and not have physical withdrawal symptoms, but usually fall off the wagon after about two weeks. I am really determined this time and have been sober for 17 days now. The forums on this site are awesome and the people very supportive. I urge any of you having a problem with drinking to join. We are not alone! Thanks, Buddy T.

January 27, 2011 at 12:37 pm
(75) graham says:

my parents dont have any friends! and all they do in there spare time is drink! fair play, they do work hard but i really dont understand why they want to drink all the time? especially my step dad! he doesnt take anything to do with his own kids but when he’s dunk he will try and get in touch with them. i really do not understand the man! i know my mum is sick of this and wants to do something about it! just wish she would! it makes her look tired and old! i know my step dad would like to continue living this life. i can see it aint helthy!

February 16, 2011 at 12:32 pm
(76) Anonymous says:

I’ve got a problem with my mom. I dont know if she fits into this category. Shes sober all the time except for the occasional situation where she gets upset at the most insignificant things that are said to her. Or if my brother or I try to talk to her about something we’re dealing with at Work/University, and if it doesnt agree with her, she just flies off the handle and goes into this trance of shouting and yelling and abusing and eventually, drinking alot! ANd it continues into her saying things like she wishes we were dead. This has been happening since 2008 and she promised us ONCE that it would never happen again but I knew it was a false one. I REALLY dont know what to do and Im helpless. Shes drunk at the moment and abusing me for every little thing I say to her. PLEASE HELP!

March 8, 2011 at 4:36 pm
(77) Traci C says:

Well, to the person who posted on March 4, 2009, and all before, my husband on that day would have seen his 38th birthday. But on February 2, 2009, he was killed because of a choice he made to drink and drive. He was also a binge drinker. But 6 or 7 years of this and I watched it progressively get worse. He started hiding the alcohol, lying about where he was going, where he had been. He was defensive when confronted and always said he didn’t have a problem. But our two boys were affected by his decision to drink everyday as well as myself. Soon I had to stop all extra activities I was involved in to be home with the boys, since I was never sure if he would be drinking or not. We are not just talking one or two here people, we are talking falling down, running into walls, slurring words drunk, Blacking out was a common thing as well. I have story after story of my husbands binge escapades. And he was a good man, great husband and father. His unexpected death has forever altered our lives and that of our family and friends.

March 9, 2011 at 8:34 pm
(78) Amanda says:

I am a Bordom and perhaps “border” binge drinker. I’m self employed working from home and My time is to myself, which I LOVE, but also leads to boredom especially during these slow economic times. I do not feel a need to drink everyday, or even every weekend like some. I can go weeks on end without a drink and never “crave” it. However, when I do take one drink… I cannot stop Myself. And once I’m buzzed or drunk I keep going til I blackout and people have to tell Me about all the embarrassing, out of character things I did/said.
I have never sought alcohol abuse counseling, I went to AA meeting twice, even got a “white chip” but I could not agree that their “completely abstain from any alcohol or alcohol-infused environments” philosophy was the solution to My particular problem. I want to be able to continue to drink… only to moderation though and only socially…because I’m a young, graduate school age extrovert. Why can’t there be an effective program out there that teaches us bingers moderation rather than complete abstinence?!?!

March 11, 2011 at 8:51 pm
(79) Mick says:

I have enjoyed reading this forum. i have come to the conclusion that I am a problem drinker this week after making a complete fool of myself at a family function. I am humiliated but also a little glad that it has happened as it can no longer be ignored.

Wish me luck.

March 12, 2011 at 10:49 pm
(80) JHC says:

I am in love with a binge drinker. He is the nicest fellow I have ever met. We met 2 years ago shortly afer my father passed away. I have been raising my boys on my own for close to 10 years when I met him. My boys love him too. He is never ever mean, even when he drinks he is NOT mean. When he does not drink, I am the happiest girl in the world. He goes on a binge every couple weeks and has even gone a month without a binge, sadly he just gets so loaded and is a mess when he does binge. Often I feel like the mother in our relationship. He has had an alcohol induced siezure after driving home one night. Falling, sluring words, let me down on many occassions. Has made plans to take me away and then lets me down because he has left to binge for 5 days. Today, I am finally leaving as I know I can’t help him unless he wants to help himself. He is in total denial, and it really hurts. I know he loves me and it will be hard for him when he realizes I am gone. I really hope he will get help and we could live happily ever after, but sadly every hobby he has (including golf which is a complete drunk fest, once a week) involves alcohol and every friend of his loves to drink heavily. They all drink and drive as well. I know I am going to miss him terribly. I hope and pray that he will get help before something really bad happens to him or he kills someone from drinking and driving. I know he would never be able to live with himself if he hurt someone, but he just won’t stop. I have always been a social drinker and I enjoy the odd beer and LOVE a glass of wine with a nice meal, I rarely drink anymore at all since I have seen what how it really hurts people.

March 17, 2011 at 10:06 am
(81) Adam says:

I have been a binge-drinker for about 20 years. The things I’ve done and said (mostly not remembered) are just plain awful. On Saturday 12th March 2011 I went to an AA meeting after finally giving in to the fact that I am an alcoholic. Scary and Nervous times. But I want to and have to change. Reading all these stories is quite sad. The binge-drinker doesn’t often want to or can’t see all the hurt it lays on their loved-ones and friends. I am lucky that my wife is still with me – we were/are at breaking point. To all those who think they might have a problem the chances are you do… I am not hear trying to preach (i am the last person who can do that) but there is help out there… all you need to do is ask. It could be the saviour of your life. I am only on day 6 of not drinking but the negative impact of drink has far out-weighed the positives for far too long now. To all those taking the step to break free from alcohol good luck! I had my first birthday free from alcohol in over 20 years on Wednesday and actually had a very good time. Best thing of all is I can remember everything that happened! To all the wives and husbands and partners of a binge-drinker there is hope but only if the binge-drinker/drunk can face up to their own problems…

March 17, 2011 at 10:27 am
(82) msioks says:

I do not drink at all because of the effects of alcohol on my earlier life.My father abused alcohol so much that he distablised us completely.He used to beat my mother so hard when i was a todler because he always came home drunk.At night when he arrived we had to rush out of our grass thutched house to sleep in the banana trees.Eventually he sold all our family land and deserted us,leaving us homeless. My mother had no alternative but to become a squatter carrying some of my siblings with her;we were twelve,six sons and six daughters.I was admitted in a children’s home where i went through and graduated with a diploma in travel operations.The story is long….however some of my brothers are binge drinkers and i think they inherited from their father.Needless to say, alcohol is a number one home breaker.

March 17, 2011 at 5:52 pm
(83) Colin says:

I’m fine during the daytime. Never feel the slightest inkling to take a drink; couldn’t even face one. But something very strange happens as 8.30pm comes around. Everything starts to darken and look kinda creepy. I begin to feel a sense of deep unease. This happens at every time of year regardless of the season or level of daylight and whatnot.
So I’ll neck half a bottle of vodka and maybe four beers and the rest of the evening don’t seem so bad. Things seem brighter and the shadows are chased away. Every evening it’s the same 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year. I’ll go to bed around midnight and wake up at 7am and everything’s fine again. Wish it didn’t have to be this way, but it could be worse, I guess, having read some of the stories here. None of the categories above apply to me but I do nevertheless have a problem, albeit an unclassified one.

April 19, 2011 at 6:16 am
(84) tracy ashton says:

my husband fits into all these categories,every couple of months he pops out and doesn’t come back for 2 days, he has just returned this morning, day 4 of his bender and i cant cope anymore he always says he’l change and he’s sorry but it is affecting our whole family life now, what do i do?

April 24, 2011 at 4:43 pm
(85) Lisa says:

Tracey,,,stay and accept his alcoholism or leave and start fresh, don’t listen to apologies – empty words. I know – I made this decision and am happy now with my choice

May 5, 2011 at 1:02 pm
(86) vsjogren says:

I have known my husband for eight years. After four we were married. About six months into our marriage he started to drink occasionly. he had just turned 21 and I am four years older than him. My Father was and still is an alcoholic one of the reasons i married my husband was becuse he did not drink. now he binge drinks for most of the reasons above. He doesnt think he has a problem but its a problem for me.
I have tried everything and he has been to rehab. but is still in denial. i married him for better or worse and this is definantly the “worse” my heart goes out to all dealing with an alcholic. talk to someone it helps. being the enabler is a lonley place.

May 24, 2011 at 10:11 am
(87) Abomb says:

Binge drinking is the beast i always bring home the girls its amazing

May 24, 2011 at 10:19 am
(88) robby d says:

I love drinking it makes me happy. Why do you guys think you all have a problem its the way of life.

July 24, 2011 at 5:03 pm
(89) Sam says:

I have been binge drinking on occasion for about 15 years. At first when i was single i made up excuses that i was just drinking to feel good and have a good time. I met my husband at a bar where we both were binge drinking. We binge drink together then both become aggressive with each other and then our marriage suffers. There has been several occasions were we have had arguments/ fights due to our impaired judgement. A couple of days ago we had a really bad night that could have caused us our lives. We have made the decision to give up alcohol all together. We will no longer let consume the demon nor it will consume us. We will no longer allow it to take over our lives. Binge drinking IS a REAL problem. Anything that impairs your judgement that leads to hospitalization or jail time is not worth it. If youre a binge drinker.Dont let it get this far. Im sorry, were both sorry we did. Were done. Were giving it up. We must help ourselves.

July 26, 2011 at 1:03 am
(90) valleygirl says:

I have been dating a guy for just over a year and I am just starting to have concerns about his drinking. At first, he didnt drink around me much at all. We would generally have a two or three drinks together when we would spend time with each other. He works out of town, so is away a lot and when he phones me he is sounds drunk at least once or twice a week. A few times I have seen him consume about 20 beer in an evening. When I mentioned his excessive drinking he said “I’m off work, I’m not hurting anyone, why do you care? Some people take 6 drinks to get drunk, some take 2, I can drink a lot more, what’t the difference?” I had a hard time responding as to why it bugged me. I try really hard in life not to be judging others and not to try to change anyone. I dont feel superior to my boyfriend, he is a great guy, but I have told him I will never be the girl who parties with him. I go out, I am fun and funny, but never more than 4 or 5 (max) drinks ever. He can drink 12 beer in an hour and a half and wants to go to the liquor store for more beer. I am sitting on the fence about this one because I really care about him. But he doesnt even acknowledge a problem. His buddies also binge drink. He is 34 years old and doesn’t have any money saved up to buy a house or condo, and also doesn’t own anything other than his car. I own my own home, have money put away in RRSP’s and have a great pension plan.

August 2, 2011 at 8:18 am
(91) guitarman says:

Do not quite know what to do……each time my wife and i get together with our housemates, or we are up in scotland with her parents (who tend to drink alot of wine – to point of falling asleep) and she has arranged for friends to come round.

She will easily drink 6-8 cans of lager, and seem “ok”, but if has wine to becomes very drunk, which results in me having to carry her to bed and put her in bed. Last weekend same thing happened, except she freaked out for 3 hours, and hit and bit me, accussed me of horrible things. All i got on saturday was “I’m so sorry i do not deserve you”…..i am tired of this happening what shall I do.

WE ONLY BEEN MARRIED 3 MONTHS…if i nicely tell her that she had enough i get told off for telling her she can’t drink, and she’ll drink if she wants to.


August 21, 2011 at 10:05 pm
(92) Andy says:

Binge Drinking- I drank at first so as to feel accepted socially, as I felt shy and self-conscious. I came to see that Alcohol is the “Great Remover”-it took away friendships/relationships/jobs/money/my self respect, and led me to many bad situations. I have been sober 7 years now, thank god.
I urge anyone who even thinks that they fit the above categories to stop drinking alcohol before it gets worse, which it will. You will find with time that the emptyness that you feel and try and numb with alcohol will go away and that you can fill your time with useful activities like helping and thinking of others.
Seek professional help and the help of recovering alcoholics through AA. Admitting the problem is the hardest part, but please be brave!

August 30, 2011 at 1:16 am
(93) S says:

I am a 62yr old female. I drink because I am basically, lonely. My life did not follow the usual for baby-boomers. I did not enjoy the usual with my children, in many and different ways. My siblings, most of whom followed the status quo, do not fully comprehend,,,,’me and my life’……I am an addict. It used to be cigarettes…….now one is socially outcast….so drinking is still ok and does not “stink” like cigarettes. For me it has always been cigarettes or alcohol? I actually would prefer cigarettes as they do not alter one’s mind. However, socially, there is such a downer on them that I made the choice of alcohol……..not a good one really. I would rather “stink” than not be able to comprehend what is going on etc., etc. Besides, alcohol is costing me soooo much more than cigarettes in cash…….help what to do???? Any advice?

September 6, 2011 at 2:02 pm
(94) Theresa says:

When someone tells you she is a Bingdrinker and not a acoholic
how do you answer them,Also my daughter who is living works in a camp for three weeks at a time and then when she gets out she drinks not everyday but there were also signs of drug abuse.She has been divorced for aroung 7 years now and its gotten worse.Her daughter has been living with her father since the divorce.
They both came for a visit this summer for 2 weeks and my daughter drank for three days.My daughter thinks that 9 to 16 beer in a day is not alot,
My heart is breaking because we remember how she use to be and we don’t even know who she is now.
I did let her know that bingdrinking is alcolholism,How do I talk to her when she lives so far away.
Thank you for reading this would love some feed back.

October 12, 2011 at 12:49 am
(95) SMM says:

I was sober for ten yrs and after a nasty divorce in which my ex-husband ended up committing suicide, I relapsed. Even during those yrs of sobriety I never really thought I was an alcoholic although I went to AA–that’s where I met the ex. Now, after 3 yrs of progressively worsening binging followed by terrible mood swings (bipolar as well), I can admit that I am an alcoholic and powerless. But, i continue this vicious cycle of binging weekly and I am so worn out, both physically and mentally. I really don’t like AA–I have tried to go back a few times but it doesn’t feel right–all I can do is focus on my ex since AA was a huge part of our life. I think I actually have a resentment towards AA for even meeting him there but of course it really wasn’t AA’s fault. I know this forum isn’t about AA but I honestly and earnestly want to quit…can’t do it by myself, so I am desperate for some other alternative. I am not interested in Celebrate as it is just another sect of AA’s doctrine….I just wish in today’s time there were other choices. I am ready to have a sober life again…so ready.

October 18, 2011 at 9:52 am
(96) Sally says:

Thanks everyone I have realised today that I have a problem with binge drinking and have my first aa meeting tomorrow alcohol really can ruin lives! Luckily I have a supportive boyfriend that is gonna help me good luck to everyone in my position too x

October 24, 2011 at 8:27 pm
(97) larry vagnoni says:

I have been “binge drinking” as I type. I have consumed 12 beers in the last hour or so. Binge drinking combined with my own inner thoughts is a recipe for my own pleasure.
I scoff at people who over hype binge drinking. The definition of “binge drinker” varies from continent to continent and from one medical establishment to another. Some people in these establishments might define binge drinking as four or five beers in succession. Others would define binge drinking as two or three days in an inebriated state. As a reader and a commentator what definition do you think is relevant to your own life?
On a side note, those here who say they are powerless against alcohol deny their inherent humanity. Barring extreme cases you are not powerless; the choices concerning your life are yours.

October 30, 2011 at 5:02 pm
(98) Annonymous says:

I’ve been binge drinking since I was 15 and now I am 28. Even though I don’t class myself as an alcoholic as I am only a social drinker and don’t ever feel the need or urge to drink alone I know I have a problem. The things I’ve done and the situations I have got myself make me cringe. My problem is I have the intention just to have a couple but once I start I can’t stop. It’s like I have no control. Friends tells me that suddenly a switch goes off, I’ve suddenly gone from merry to completely off my face (pulling dodgy faces like I’m not controlling my face). I end in places I don’t know, take random guys home I meet in the street and seem to have no self respect. I wake up the next morning feeling fine just the dread of what I might have said or done, flash backs of parts of my night. I manage to laugh it off as I tell my friends what I’ve got up to, they find me hilarious. They love my stories and think I’m great. But deep down I am quite ashamed by what I do. I just don’t know where to go from here. I know I’m an all or nothing girl when it comes to drink so would need to give it up completely but don’t want to loose my current social life. Can this be done?? You know how it goes, if you say you ain’t gona drink one night your mates push you so it makes you feel pressured. I don’t think AA is the right place for me as I don’t crave daily or miss drink when I’m not out it’s purely just I can’t stop once I start. Does anyone know of any good programs for binge drinkers? Thanks and sorry for the long email but sometimes just sharing your thoughts out loud helps. Everyone’s comments on here have been great and really make you think and realise your not alone. How have we become a society that’s social lives revolve so much around alcohol!!!

November 1, 2011 at 3:01 am
(99) Catherine says:

I admit that I am a binge drinker.This weekend I drank 12 cans of cider and whisky.I can’t remember some parts of the night.I become mean and aggressive and tell it like it is when I am drunk.I am fearless and approach anyone,I think I can even approach the president when i am dunk.I have hurt some people with my remarks.My husband has never been honest with me regarding this.Though it happens once in a month the regret takes another month.I feel guilty,disappointed and even ashamed and don’t wish to meet the people I was with during the weekend.It really hurts.

December 1, 2011 at 1:24 pm
(100) Question says:

Hi, im 18 and when i go out with mates i drink about 8-12 units once a week, we usually just go round a mates friday night or go to a party at the weekend. I never drink so much that i don’t know what i am doing and it never causes any promblems between me and anyone else. I’ve never hurt myself or anyone whilst drunk. Would you say I am drinking too much?

December 19, 2011 at 8:45 pm
(101) craigAA says:

if alcohol is causing any problems in your life then its a problem..only you can decided if its a problem..no one else..and if the answers yes then seek help..i did and am doing well now..living a full life in work and with relationships..its not easy it was hard..but nothing worth anything in life is easy..stay strong and one day at a time…

January 6, 2012 at 8:32 am
(102) Jan says:

Reading all those comments made me really sad for all the pain alcohol abuse causes. There is a way out! First, this is a brain disease: no one asks to become alcoholic, but binging can ‘teach’ your body to tolerate more and sooner/later you will end up alcoholic. Those with family members with a problem (genetics) are more at risk. Brain chemistry is changed by the alcohol, that’s why you can’t stop. See your doctor, if you need to be detoxed, ask for meds to stop the cravings. Eat a good diet, get enough rest, talk out your feelings with someone you trust, get to a program, whether it is AA or whatever, because the folks have been there, and together have figured out how to recover. If you were diabetic you’d cut out sugar…if you have heart disease you’d cut out fat, if you have a problem with alcohol, cut out the alcohol. She’s a very seductive lover, easily convinces us just one isn’t a problem. But I can’t eat just one peanut, or just one piece of chocolate. Those who want to ‘learn’ to drink less? If you have to learn it, you aren’t ever going to be able to. The things that keep “social” drinkers stopping at 1 or 2 are missing in your body, no need to be ashamed. The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. We always find an excuse to drink. If I’m bored, it’s because I’m boring! It’s my responsibility to find healthy activities that stimulate me. If you are lonely, go volunteer, help kids learn to read, go visit nursing homes, real loneliness there, you can help! Taking care of self means doing something healthy, helpful and positive for our souls. People string together 30-40 years of sobriety by making the choice, one day at a time, to not take a drink. It’s your choice! Sobriety is not just not drinking, that’s just being ‘dry’…it’s not drinking, and being happy about that choice. AA has ‘the promises’–call them or go to a meeting, and ask! Help is out there, just ask.

January 6, 2012 at 10:51 am
(103) Patrick says:

I really liked the british study indicating differnt types of drinkers/drinking because I really never thought of myself as an all out alcoholic – more like a moderate binge drinker.

To give you a brief run down when I got divorced I was really depressed for about a year and that lead to me drinking more than I use to in the past. After a year it wasn’t so much depression as to destress – I did that for about 3 years. Now when I drink it’s because I’m lonely and bored and on a secondary level – it helps me to sleep. Presently, I have never sought help but usually pick myself up and move on which I’m currently, doing. This last year 2011 I just got tired of waking up and it being day 1 yet again! and also, feeling depressed
because of the alcohol consumption day after day. I’ve noticed this as I age. I will say I’m a moderate drinker, I workout 4-5 times week, I never drink socially because you can make an absolute ass of yourself. I also, always drink alone and in the evening and I never get so drunk that I pass out or blackout. I usually will drink one night a week and keep things in perspective. I like the escape and the fact that I drop my body mentally/physlically and sleep like a baby. I also, wanted to say that I make good money, have a great job and that my drinking has never interfered with my realtionships or job.

January 6, 2012 at 12:04 pm
(104) Bonnie says:

I have been married to an alcoholic for almost 30 years. I have been thru all the thinks that people are writing about in prior postings. I am now not in a position to leave the relationship. Reality is that spouses of drinkers have choices taken from them. I know this soundsl like I am playing the victum card but that is not the fact. It is easy to say what you would do until you are faced with making huge life altering changes. Some on in a privious posting said “either stay and accept or leave and get on”. I am not leaving but do not know how to live with it and stay whole. I have tried AA support groups but they did now work for me and I am in a very isolated community so resources are limited. I want to hear from other wives that are in my situation. Please

January 6, 2012 at 8:49 pm
(105) Faye says:

After a lovely, and loving Christmas day just passed, though my daughter and son-in-law enjoyed their beer and we all had a glass of champagne for dinner that included my grandchildren, boy of 14, and girl of 12 though neither of them drank it after a tiny first sip, the next day, Boxing Day was horrendous. My daughter demanded I drive to a small town to help her sign something for my grandkids new cell telephones. I have been experiencing slight cardiac arrythmia and had not told her. While she started screaming on the telephone to me I finally told her about my possible condition and that was why I did not want to drive the half hour to see her in a store! She continued to scream and verbally abuse me, that of which is normal unfortunately. Her and her husband and daughter, the 12 year old returned home to their house where my grandson and I were. As she stormed through the door she was screaming and eventually grabbed me by the throat. This was the worst of the six times in 15 years, and I am 70 with copd so it terrified me. Everyone stood still, stunned I suppose. As I yelled for help my daughter saw her daughter standing in the doorway, jaw dropped, and my daugher dropped her arms, tried to laugh it off. I would immediately have gone to the RCMP around the corner but knew I would never see my grandkids again.
Thinking back 17 yrs. I feel she is an alcoholic, as was her father and his mother. My question: will she admit it?..I mean is there a right time to admit it? Her dad, my x, admitted it AFTER we divorced!

January 6, 2012 at 8:59 pm
(106) Faye says:

Oh THANK GOODNESS for this support group. Teresa reading your message I can relate wholly! My daughter lives a good 2 hrs away, works full time, hockey all the time it seems, husband works somewhere in Alberta..when he does work. He drinks too but have never seen him with alcoholic symptons. He was doing drugs however for years! He went into rehab last year..my fingers are crossed.
Telling your kid you think she is an alcoholic is like facing Goliath, to me anyway. I figure if I said it she would never speak to me again, and I would never see my grandkids again. I am hoping someone at her workplace might approach her. Yes I am spineless but read my other note..am just scared I guess. Good luck Teresa.

January 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm
(107) Faye says:

D-Dog 55
I went to Al-Anon for seven years and it may have saved my life from my alcoholic and violent, x husband. In the bieginning it terrified me then I realized after the cops would do nothing I felt I had to stick up for myself. Bad idea. It made it much worse. Say nothing though did not work either as he followed me from room to room and got worse as I was silent. My daughter is exactly that way. I pray my grandkids will be ok. The school is a good none with decent counsellors..
Hope you get back to AA …55.
There was a military guy in AA, gave us Al-Anon’s a talk one night: told us he drove 100 miles to get a McDonald’s burger, and returned same night. Had a complete black out, went to his car in the morning, could not understand all the burger wrappers, pop cup in the car.
Untill he also read the sales reciept. One hundred miles in a black out….that is the ONLY thing that made him think hard..he could have killed many……

January 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm
(108) diane says:

well, basically there is the sort that occasionally thinks it’s fun, an adventure, a letting go , but they are unenlightened to what it is really about. unenlightened binge drinkers.

February 3, 2012 at 2:20 pm
(109) Liz says:

My husband is a binge drinker in the sense that when he starts he can’t stop until he either passes out or the supply runs out. now, that event may only occur once a week with the other days being rather moderate or maybe even no booze at all. however after 30 years of marriage this has actually affected my attitude towards drink! I cringe at the idea of any kind of social event (including holidays) with him as everything in those events is geared and steered towards drink. my husband would not entertain a social event which did not include drinking. He is in his mid 50′s and the usual effects of age (eg weight gain, creaky knees etc) are made worse by the drinking. he does not recover quickly and needs almost a full day to get over the effects. this means his exercise is limited so he is getting fatter and even less active and fit. I avoid him like the plague when I can see he is “on one” and this leads to real rifts. I even avoid him if we are in company and he gets started – other people find it funny but I find it repugnant. he has injured himself that many times of late. I know this sounds awful but I want something bad to happen to him to give him the wake-up call he needs. sorry to rant, but I am really glad someone will listen who can understand my thoughts.

February 29, 2012 at 9:29 pm
(110) BC says:

I know someone who fits in, at least, the last 3 catergories. The problem occurs when one cannot recognize the problem. It gets serious. Family is then affected and children learn that this is everyday behavior.
I had no idea what alcoholism was. I can tell you now that my husband of 20 years had a problem when I met him. He wanted to drink more than work. I thought he was young and undisciplined and I could help him learn better. Instead I got a man who is broken down and wants to quit his job (not even 50 yet) and spend his time in a bar. He asked me recently if we should sell our house and find a little place above a pizza place. Such bizzare behavior. ALCOHOL EATS YOUR BRAIN! Seriously.
I have now divorced and we both are suffering, as well as the kids, of course. Life stinks.
Don’t date, marry or expose your children to people who indulge in such behaviors. It only gets worse. I regret this deeply. So very much junk that goes along with alcohol.

April 1, 2012 at 5:07 am
(111) Anthony says:

Hi everyone, I have spent the last hour or so reading alot of the comments. I have a similar problem to many people on here which is comforting to know I am not alone. I was on a bad 4 day binge a few weeks back. I have been to aa last year for a few meetings but thought i would be fine on my own. I have been on many binges since than. I know now I must keep going to meetings. I know of one person who regulary goes to AA and has a few drinks at home. He has curbed his drinking through this, Is this ok or wrong? I lost my girlfriend after a 5 and a half year relationship a year and a half ago over drink. I went out for a few days and she had enough. I have had many days of tears over her as i loved her.
ive had this problem for most of my adult life, I will be going to a meeting in the next few days, I would like to think I could have a drink at home in a very controlled situation while continuing to go to meetings but for now i will remain alcohol free. Thanks to all who read my comment, I am nervous but looking foward to my next meeting. I would appreciate your replys, love and god bless, Anthony

May 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm
(112) coco says:

I have a really big binge drinking problem I am 26 I can go about a week then it back at it again and I can’t stop myself. I have blackouts and sometimes I fight people and don’t remember I did it. I’m scared and I need help. I am going to live at a homeless shelter with my one year old child because I burned all my bridges.

May 22, 2012 at 4:30 pm
(113) A says:

That just about covers the whole of society, they will be banning alcohol before we know it. Get a life!

June 28, 2012 at 11:05 pm
(114) Unhappy wife says:

I’ve been married to the man for 31 yrs. Looking back I wonder why I stayed. He and his dad were drinking companions. Both drove semi and sober they were ok. My husband lost job after job. Drunk driving. Got so bad he ended up in jail twice and finally a really bad event gave him some prison time.

He is a heavy smoker, and drinks 3-5 cans of Genny Cream Ale after 5pm and says it’s really not booze, nothing like a stronger beer is. He is retired now and I see him just puffing and hacking up a lung and drinking until he goes into bed. It wrecked our marriage and killed what I felt for him. I think I’m just waiting him out and keep myself busy. If it weren’t for my sons help, I’d be living in the street. He can go a long time without drinking, but, when he goes off the deep end, it’s depressing.

July 5, 2012 at 10:26 pm
(115) Tom says:

A Re-bonding and Community Drinker. How does one control this? I may drink daily, weekly or even monthly without any urge but when the need to drink hits me forget all else. Strange but true

July 11, 2012 at 3:06 pm
(116) Tammy says:

Your fiancee is probably an alcoholic…. Alcoholics do not need to drink everyday. Please rethink marrying this man if he does not stop or try to get help…. Believe me, it does not get better and marriage will not help him… He needs to find out why he does this type of drinking and go to some kind of counseling to research his soul… He is the ONLY one who can help himself, but he DOES need support…. Binge drinking can cause immediate death, no matter how long of a time a person has been a drinker..

July 25, 2012 at 10:17 am
(117) OverIt says:

My husband of 18 years has been a binge drinker 10+ years. Beer on weekends, a 12 pack in an hour or 2. He hides it from me and lies about it as if I can’t tell he’s drunk. He told me he does it to give him “liquid courage” when he does yard work…he has a snake phobia. Yet he binges when he’s not doing yard work. He’s depressed. He passes out. When I try to rouse him, he is mean and talks nonsensical. I called him out on it with his parents last year. I’ve heard so many times that he won’t do it anymore. He won’t get counseling, but we can’t afford it anyway. Our oldest daughter knows when he’s drunk. I hate it and feel trapped and hopeless.

July 29, 2012 at 2:47 pm
(118) mail@fireworkslewes.co.uk says:

I’ve ignored my now husband’s binge drinking for 5 years. He has just exploded at me for bringing it up and blamed me. When not drinking huge amounts he is, as is typical, a wonderful caring guy then he drinks and drinks and drinks. He would probably down six pints without even realising it. At this point he could be described as “a fun guy to be around” and lots of people do enjoy his company. Then of course he will have another and another then he turns into Mr Obnoxious. He’s rude and complaining, he swears at you if you try to quiet him down. He has a loud voice anyway so the whole restaurant/bar can usually hear him. I mostly just want to die of embarassment. Sometimes I drink a bit quicker just to sort of block him out.His sister drinks every day from early in the day but when I’ve suggested there might be a family issue, he just explodes.

September 4, 2012 at 12:42 pm
(119) Goldengirl says:

I can completely relate to so many of these posts. My husband is an alcoholic/binge drinker. It was really bad, he got into trouble and went to rehab. I dont think the rehab is what helped but he trouble he got into. That was 2 years ago.

I can see that drinking is now creeping back into our lives. I have two daughters, 13 and 6. They love their dad so very much. I have lost all respect for him and have told him I lose feelings for him each time he drinks b/c it hurts our family so much. However, if I divorce him I am just leaving my daughters to handle it without me, I cannot and will not do that to them. What a situation.

Anyone who is thinking about marrying or being in a serious relationship with an alcoholic or binge drinker, look at the big picture. Don’t do it. I have been married for 15 years and had I known this is how I would feel about this man I never would have married him. I do have one thing, our children. They are my life, I love them so much and would not have them if it were not for him too.

Anyone who wants to share thoughts I would welcome the feedback!

September 12, 2012 at 12:22 pm
(120) C Dell says:

My son-in-law is a law enforcement officer and he binge drinks. Sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. He likes local bars. He works a lot which I think keeps him from drinking more frequently, but once he starts, all bets are off. He also does’t eat when he drinks, I assume to allow the alcohol to enter his system quicker and also to accommodate the case of beer he can put away. His behaviors cross the line; he becomes verbaly hostile, slurs his speech, stumbles, has droopy eyes and demands to be fed (by my daughter). I worry that it will escalate to carelessness with weapons and/or physical and verbal abuse. He stays emotionally buttoned up when he is sober. He recognizes the problem, but does not appear motivated to change it. My daughter is pregnant with her first child and is disgusted with this behvior, which he seems to be able to control sometimes, so when it happens again, it sets off a whole new round of hurt and upset feelings (hers, ours, his parents, etc.) I think it will eventually ruin their marriage. I know I wouldn’t put up with it.

September 13, 2012 at 8:33 pm
(121) Lily says:

I’ve heard people say that if someone binge drinks that they must be an alchoholic, which kind of confuses me because I always thought that you have to be dependant on alcohol to be an alcoholic.

I binge drink heavily about once every 3-6 months. When I drink, I drink alot, roughly about 11 standard drinks in one session, and I’m female and of a small stature. I usually pass out and can’t remember much of the night and vomit alot over the course of the night. When I drink it’s usually out of boredom or feeling really down, I’m always a happy drunk, never get aggressive or cry or anything, just have fun. I don’t do anything stupid when drunk, other than one time quitting my job lol, never drink and drive, never have sex with people I wouldn’t want to have sex with (I’m asexual and am not interested in that), don’t treat people badly.

Thing is, I only drink a couple of times a year, I go for months without having a drink, I usually am not interested in alcohol.

So is it really alcoholism to occassionally binge drink like in the scenario I mentioned?

September 24, 2012 at 9:18 pm
(122) Amy says:

I am a little over 6 months without a drink. Lonely binge drinking was my thing. I was a weekend warrior, until my DUI. Thankfully no one was hurt except my pride. Like all good binge drinkers I built up a strong tolerance to alcohol. My BAC was .27( I am a 40 year old woman who only weighs 120 lbs.) I admitted myself into an intensive outpatient program 3 days after my DUI. Today I say my DUI saved my life. Somewhere around 4 months it got harder to not drink. Much harder. But with a great support system I made it another 2 months. I’m not sure if heavy duty urges will come again, but if they do I will be ready :) it is amazing how much better I look and feel. I finally feel like I love myself when I look in the mirror. Nothing bad will ever come from quitting drinking. When I think about it the only thing I gave up was, guilt, shame, extra calories and hangovers. If you binge and can’t stop – get help.

September 27, 2012 at 8:56 pm
(123) stace says:

I have admitted defeat and went to my first AA meeting tonight. I have not drank in 3 days and the meeting tonight has helped me understand i have a serious problem, i took my kids away for the weekend, got drunk every night, blacked out and fell constantly. My husband was away with his mates so i was able to drink as much as i could, I,m embarrassed with myself and know i,m going to do damage or death to myself. i constantly sneakily drink and that could lead up to a bottle of vodka a night, I,m 36 and my children need me now… fortunately my kids don,t see me being in a state much, but that weekend made me realise, its not fair on them, i love them so much so will try my hardest to not touch alcahol again. God give me strength.

October 29, 2012 at 12:54 pm
(124) Yecats says:

My husband of 3yrs is a wonderful husband, father and general good guy. He’s great around the house. He works hard. But..as a lorry driver he works away 4 days and is home 4 days. When he’s home he drinks at least on 2 of the days. It wouldnt bother me if it was just 2 or 3 but we’re talking a bottle of vodka(at least) or 10+ bottles/cans of lager. He doesnt get violent, he’s been nasty on acouple of occasions but for the most part he just gets drunk and stupid. But i cant cope with it. I find it tiresome and boring. I dont really drink at all. The odd night out(2-3 a year) and a glass or 2 of champagne at christmas and new year. So my question is , ‘is my husband a binge drinker/borderline alcoholic or is it just my dislike of alcohol and its effects on people?’ Thanks for reading this, any input would be appreciated.

December 5, 2012 at 1:22 am
(125) buddy2287 says:

I’ve been with my husband almost 17 years. I knew he drank a lot at first. I thought he would stop after we married. I don’t have evidence but I can always tell he’s drinking when I’m out of town. He does this secretly. How can I know for sure before I go crazy?

January 9, 2013 at 11:18 am
(126) Erika says:

I say I would fit into the boredom and/or depressed drinker. Been bad for almost 2years now. Trying new things though to stop it.

January 16, 2013 at 3:33 am
(127) Joe says:

It is sad to see all the comments of people who are suffering from binge drinking. Not only are the binge drinkers suffering but their friends and spouse too. I have been sober for almost 8 years and put my family through many of the things mentioned here. I always felt I was only hurting myself and not my family when I would stay out and drink. I also didnt realize that I was an alcoholic even though I only drank once or twice per week, had a family, had a business, sent my kids to private school. Now I know its not how many times per week you drink but how the alcohol affects you. I quit for four years on my own but still something was missing. Alcoholism is a twofold disease consisting of mind and body. We have an alergy so that afte our first drink our body tells us we need more. Then without the tools learned in AA we dont have a defense to get along with the riigors of life and need alcohol to relieve our tensions, etc. We drink too much , get in trouble and promise (and mean it) not to do that again. But soon tensions build without our needed AA tools and we neeeeeed to go back to having a blowout. The hard part is an alcoholic does not see the the benifit of AA cause it takes awhile to be able to utilize the tools available so we go back to the only tool we know. Alcohol. I truly am so much happier now going to AA . I can treat the world and my family and me how we all should be treated.
Good luck all .

January 22, 2013 at 12:02 am
(128) Laura says:

I married my boyfriend of eight years, a year & a half ago. We moved in together and lo and behold! He drinks bourbon to get snockered every weekend. I didn”t know. He always behaved around me while we dated. I have watched him fall down, crack his hip from a fall, shat his pants and basically fall apart with one fell swoop. He refuses help since he is 54yrs old and successful (I am 52 and do well for myself). We waited to get married, so our kids would be grown. I have never been so embarrassed in my life. How could I have missed all the signs? I left him last August after a particularily bad weekend and haven’t been back. He was recently arrested for public intox and spent the night in jail, after spending $500 in a local pub buying drinks for the house. He wants to talk to me – so maybe he is ready to get some counseling – I will find out next week when he comes back in town. I am hoping for the best.

January 23, 2013 at 2:36 am
(129) LOUISE says:

MILITARY AND doctors, also cia mk-ultra- all use alcohol-and other drugs- to DISSOCIATE a soldier, patient or cia asset-a spy- so as to control them better- so as to enter another personality- an alter- when someone wants to leave you but doesnt want to be blamed or guilty for leaving- they will adopt another persona-an alter- to do things and make you mad- hoping you will leave- that way they can say the alter did it- not themselves- i have done this- i know plenty men, women who admitted to me they did this hoping the partner would leave- the abuse increases because the partner, parent etc wont leave -so the message has to get stronger to do the job- saying sorry after, oh please dont leave- is only so we dont feel guilty- in AA BIG book- theres a place says alcoholics cannot love- i admit and accept this- and all that it means- if we care about others- we will keep ourselves out of their lives- we are friendly only to use them- as is proven by our comlicated scenarios we invent of what we will do for them-and what they will do for us- and we have the whole controlled story already planned and wanting it- leave others alone- and just be happy to live with a small piece of liver, pancreas and brain left over- marriage is prostitution- only matriarchies can nurture children- not fathers or brothers,etc- keep childhood safe- governments want us and our kids drunk to dissociate from our thinking minds-from ourselves- robots who do evil for drug- we obey

January 23, 2013 at 2:46 am
(130) LOUISE says:

it got so bad- i joined the KRishnas- lol- polluting yr conscious spirit with any stimulant,poison- is against their philosophy-but it worked- i got a totally different identity- a different role, if you like- it worked- the AA big book has peoples stories- and we need to have some group- even if its just to go listen and not talk- its still company -we see were not alone having been abused in childhood- or with no job -or to have interests other than white man s education – keep on- eat protein and stay away from carbs- which get the cravings and down feelings started-look it up- sugar blues book

January 23, 2013 at 3:00 am
(131) LOUISE says:

IF YOU GIVE A DOG some alcohol- are you the criminal or the dog?if it becomes alcoholic- do you call the addicted dog immoral or selfish or problem with ego? all animals ,all people are damaged by alcohol- their organs poisoned and malfunction- are weakened and so crave- so what do we do with the dog that craves alcohol? the scientists already cured the dogs- so rebuild your nervous system- the right chemistry- stay rested and aware of tiredness- like the scientists did- and stop psychoanalysing

January 23, 2013 at 11:25 am
(132) jayne says:

I did have a partner,he liked to come home from work every day and have 4 cans of lager and come friday and saturday binge drink get argumentative and controlling,he goes into kitchen and talks out loud to himself,where just mates but insists i stay saturday nights,just for one thing i guess,no passion just seems like sex,love him,but could he change,

February 4, 2013 at 2:00 am
(133) Alcoholfree says:

A few years ago I was in a serious relationship with someone who was a friend prior to. 6 months in, I discovered he was a binge drinker. He almost died of alcohol poisoning, if it hadn’t been for me arranging his trip to the hospital. Turns out, it wasn’t his first time in the hospital for this reason, he was put on suicide watch and he had stomach lining damage from prior episodes. This was a very horrible and traumatic experience for me, as I didn’t grow up witnessing alcoholism. He attempted treatment, but ultimately did not follow through, as he wasn’t ready to accept that he was an Alcoholic. Some time later, he revealed that he had drank again. I decided to end it because I was not going to to be secondary to alcoholism. Alcohol abuse does not bring anything good to any relationship. I don’t take care for drunk men and certainly will not clean-up after them again. If a guy can’t survive without alcohol, I certainly can survive without him.

February 24, 2013 at 5:42 am
(134) linda says:

I love this great guy. When I met him we just drak some and it seemed harmless but then every time we drank more. I suddenly started these patterns that he didnt remember what he said the night before. he would ask to see me again and just go away. He told me it was anxiety but I now know it is alcohol. I know people have many bad things that have happened to them in their life. They could drink an ocean to numb the pain but to go on like this pushing away love and friendship seems to me to be going down into the abiss.If you saw that movie there is only enough air in the tank to get back. I am waiting for the day he decides to take the steps to find comfort and safety-but to decide to live and be loved in the short time remaining.

March 16, 2013 at 4:43 pm
(135) Me says:

It happens to the best of us. Its so hard to stop and you will hit some speed bumps. Keep trying and you will not only feel better but see results. Help is the key wether from family, professionals, or both.

April 5, 2013 at 5:21 pm
(136) neal says:

susan(11) I feel your pain, because i am in love with the the most wonderful woman in the world. She works hard and is very passionate about all she does. It just that when shes alone that she wants 2 drink and she say an do thing thats not of her charater. And its killing me inside to see her like this. You see we were together 19 yrs ago and after all this time God brought us back together. So you see i lost her once and now tjat shes back, i refuse to let her go thus time. Even though they say a drunk speaka a sober mind. Why would u ask another man too come and get ur p—y and say thar u love them. But you never can say or act this way unless your drunk. So can someone plz help

April 7, 2013 at 4:11 pm
(137) Richard says:

I am 39 year old who thinks he’s still 17. I always thought binge drinking was having a few more than the recommended amount….I am sadly kidding myself. I had a bender last night which has almost cost me my marriage. This is not the first time I have been out and I can identify with the comments made. I love to socialise and be around like minded people and most of the time I have the drink under control, then I go and mess things up by having the next drink and lose control. I love wife and children dearly and know I need to beat this thing!! By sending this I accept I must change my attitude to drinking. I feel very saddened by the comments and what some people had/having to endure…..I know how my wife feels now and it has shocked me to my core, I feel embarrassed and disappointed with myself.

April 29, 2013 at 3:15 pm
(138) joseph bush sr says:

There are a class of drinkers who want to blot out the daily existence by drinking to oblivion, who drink to get drunk and stay drunk as the wino and those that drink for months on a daily basis, this is the 10th type. I was into that before I came to my senses.

May 2, 2013 at 12:42 pm
(139) Samantha says:

hi guys.
my step dad, my mom’s husband was a binge drinker. he even did drugs. ruined my and my little siblings life forever. so, if you are in a bad situation with an alcoholic, get out. it isn’t going to change. i’ve learned that faster than my mother has.
well wishes to all of you

May 13, 2013 at 9:19 pm
(140) poor wife says:

I live with a weekend binge drinker and i used to drink with him and he constantly tries to persuade me to join him,regardless of what i say.I am unable to work from injury and have no money to get out.He won’t admit he has a problem and when the topic comes up i am the one who gets abused for mentioning it.I am so unhappy with life with him and he doesn’t seem to care, he cares more about alcohol.I know i need to get out but i am unable.I know i need to ignore him and not bring the issue up but i worry about him,even though he doesn’t deserve it.If someone had some advise that i haven’t thought about,i would take it on board.

May 15, 2013 at 12:22 am
(141) elisabeth says:

I can identify with all the women here. I just broke up with my boyfriend. We dated for 8 months, I told him in the beginning, in order to date me, he would have to have sobriety under his belt. Go to meetings and take care of his disease. The first time we met, he did not drink, when i came home from visiting him in another state, he was on a binge for 7 to 8 days, i had no idea, until he actually called me and said he was drinking. you would think i would of payed attention to that red flag. He remained sober for months on end, he started going to meetings. About a month ago he had another slip. He just vanished for days, he stopped calling and i was so miserable blaming myself. So i took him back again, with trepadation, because I “Loved Him” He stopped going to meetings, and in the back of my mind i knew that their would come a day. Last week, i did not hear from him. I broke up with him because in my heart and mind, i knew he was drinking. What helped with that descision, was all the other experiences i had in the past with alcoholics. What i remembered was my own insanity. I had enough of enough. The other thing that helped me, was alanon. I have been in alanon for 10 years and it has been the best thing i ever have done. It saved my life, and it also taught me, that no matter what i say, how i scream it, what i do could break or change an alcohol. I am sad because i will miss the beautiful man behind the bottle, and yet what i have gained through all of this is my dignity and self respect, plus I realise i am not his God. If anything letting him go is Loving myself enough to have peace of mind. I will miss the person behind the drinking and yet i will NOT miss the days he is gone me worrying, and continuing my own insanity over and over and over again. Im grateful for the courage to love him afar, the courage to let go, the courage to take care myself and most all i am grateful I have no hate for this man but compassion.

May 30, 2013 at 10:18 pm
(142) Kevin says:

I have a problem with all or nothing drinking when it comes to liquor. Ill have a few, then keep going for some reason; the next thing I remember is waking up on the bathroom floor with an angry wife. I really just cannot drink liquor, it happens almost evey time.

Fortunately I don’t drink too often, otherwise it would have potential to destroy me.

June 7, 2013 at 4:18 pm
(143) Emma says:

It was love at first sight with my boyfriend i met 3months ago. UNTIL a few weeks ago when he went on a mad binge n didnt answer his phone to me til 1pm the next day. I was sooo annoyed i told him to get lost, left him for a few days then warned him if he tried that type of bull EVER AGAIN id be GONE. Well with me taking him bk that one time he must have thought i was some sort of mug cause just a few days later he did it again but this time it was 9pm the next day b4 he answered his phone! Hahaha messed with the wrong woman there! LET ME TELL U HE IS GONE FOR GOOD NOW! He spent a few days texting me the usual ‘im sorry i have a problem. Pls give me one more chance’ so i just changed my phone number. Im no mug. That trust has gone. These people who r going off on binges etc, u dont kno what the HELL else their getting upto, more then likely shagging about behind ur back, cause afterall, ur not there, u dnt c what their getting upto. Im not having that bull. Im 31 and have two beautiful kids who wil NOT be exposed to that type of life. I love the man but wow, i never felt so much worry n stress n anger as i did when he disappeared. I feel sorry 4 the women on here who havent had the strength to walk away! U only get one shot at this life n ur gonna look back at your life one day n realised u wasted it all cause u didnt have the guts to go through a break up with some #### head! Yeah i know people hav had bad upbringings n thats why some drink but life is what u make it! Gud luck, dnt know how ANYONE copes with being in these situations x

June 23, 2013 at 3:51 pm
(144) joanne says:

How true is Kevins comment I have such a good husband all ruined by binge drinking feel sooo sad

July 1, 2013 at 7:12 pm
(145) Mike says:

I am 36 years old and have been drinking since I was 15. I have been drinking every day for I dont know how long. I usually drink 6-10 beers a night, and lately have been taking 2-3 shots as well. I am reading these comments and looking back at all the things that have happened because of my drinking. I know I need to quit. I am afraid I cant, or I will just cut back and end up in the same place as today. Any advise out there please let me know.

July 2, 2013 at 4:10 pm
(146) WhatADay says:

I lost my last GF because of the damned binge drinking! I quit for a few months to make it work, but the damage was done. I was single again, so I started up again ,and drinking slowly became as bad as it ever was. Living in New Orleans doesn’t help at all, and I’m moving back home at the end of the year because it’s just too easy to drink here. I’m 35 and want more out of life than what I’ve been putting into it. I know it starts with me, and I feel I’ve matured enough over the fast few months to know I need to quit drinking, straight up, nor more BS.

August 30, 2013 at 4:14 pm
(147) julie says:

my partner is a binge drinker,the second he leaves work he drink 4 strong lagers,it takes17 minutes would you believe? he gets ill regular,and misses work,they know why &hes on his last warning!im so lonely,at 56 i should be enjoying life,instead i watch him flake out 7pm daily, but gets up nxt day as fresh as a daisy, people have admitted they did not believe me , until they witnessed what he does.

September 24, 2013 at 10:47 pm
(148) Jack says:

So what am I, exactly? I just had a birthday and decided to get 2 bottles on Kentucky Bourbon (750ml each.) And not just to get drunk…seriously, I like to hurt myself a bit. I love “getting better.” One reason, and this is odd but I swear, it always happens to me…I get a real uh…sexual craving. Seriously, and it’s always the greatest sex I’ve even had. I’ve gone through three Ashley Tisdale blow-up dolls…lol, no just kidding. But seriously, that’s my favorite part about it.

But I only do it maybe 3/4 times a year. What’s the verdict? Stop doing that? Because I heel like hell right now. And I have an erection from here to Wyoming but no desire to relieve myself. I was diagnosed with anxiety meds, xanax and clonapin and I’m taking them but they aren’t working and I’m to the point where if I try to get a refull before October my doctor’s going to cut me off…and rightfully so, benzos are more dangerous than alcohol depending on who you ask. But I noticed last night I wen through like 4 or 5 1mg Xanax and with no relief. I don’t know what the max dose is but 4mg seems like a but too much, especially since it’s specifically for panic attacks. It gets in, it gets out. And the clonapin…those are like tic tacs. I don’t notice a thing even prior to my binge when I popped those.

September 24, 2013 at 10:50 pm
(149) Jack says:

So basically, my question is…since binging is worse that true blue/daily alcoholism…and I paddling in that boat to hell? Because to tell you the truth…I’m not that big a fan of alcohol right now. Especially since it rendered these pills I take, for very good reasons (not to get high, I HAVE anxiety AND panic Attacks)…I jump right back on that wagon. Because that medication is far more important than getting drunk every once in a while. Anxiety and worse, panic attacks are the WORST thing to ever have to deal with. I’d rather lose a limb. Seriously. Maybe that’s subjective but I just want to get a point across. And now, after thee drinking, the panic attacks are back with a vengeance and even the short acting meds are doing the trick. And i’d pop the clonapin but now I’m all like…the is a “Heath Ledger Cocktail” I’m screwing around with. And I want to live. So uh…any advice would be gold. And a confirmation that 3 to 4 times a year is still considered binge drinking. Because I see once a week, once a month or whatever but for me, it’s like once every 4 months. Of course, I still fell horrible so…I may just quit anyway. But if that’s the case, then I think people need to start pointing that out, as well. If I missed it, I’m sorry…but I didn’t see that particular warning

September 24, 2013 at 10:58 pm
(150) Jack says:

Oh, and PS

I’m eating, keeping everything down. I slept a little. I can walk, I can feed the pets. I’m not yelling at anyone. The main symptoms are the anxiety and panic attacks.And ta=hat uneasy you’re going to die feeling in the pit of your stomach. Which is always there with anxiety but, I gotta say…I don’t like it. I wanna see the new season of South Park. That’s very important to me.

OH, I’m done. I’m a writer…so I write a lot. I said I’m a writer, not an editor so do not point out the numerous typos. Thanks.

January 15, 2014 at 9:39 pm
(151) Discouraged says:

Because I am a logical person, I could not believe that my husband of 8 years had no control of his binge drinking. How could he go months of occasional night caps at home or no drinking at all to drinking with friends & blacking out every time he goes to hang out which is every 6 months. When he does it, he doesn’t call or return home to the next day. He jeopardizes everything we work for. Like previous postings, he becomes defensive when approached and to some respect, I have been in denial of the magnitude of this problem. This week I told home I would leave hoping that he was see the need to get help & he agreed, but just the idea of fighting this everyday is overwhelming & the several comments of relapse. I hear the ” get out while you can” and the true impact of my life as I know it is crumbling over his drinking. I don’t accept alcoholism as a disease over a choice, which is what ticks me off most. I logically believe he can make another choice. I read all these comments to get a better understanding. I’m no different. I’m hurt, sadden & pissed that my children, husband & I will have to struggle with alcoholism if I stay. Feel like I’ve been dealt a sentence for a crime I did not commit.

January 29, 2014 at 4:04 pm
(152) pink cloud says:

I don’t think anyone should be giving out advice on what to do with their relationships, only share personal stories that may help the person decide fo themselves. One can love with detatchment an alcoholic and there are several support groups that are good with that, Al-anon and Celebrate Recovery are ones I have used to learn tools for coping and having a happy life, even when living with an alcoholic (he’s in recovery now, 6mo sober). Many of us who ended up in this type of relationships will find that we are codependents and instead of trying to fix the binge drinker, we should be looking to heal ourselves.

Prayers up to anyone affected by alcohol, it sucks so much life from good people, and when you learn to have fun without it, it’s an awesome natural high and you remember the memories the next day!

Live and let live, one day at a time!

February 21, 2014 at 12:28 am
(153) some guy says:

I found this study very helpful in the area of trying to figure out why I drink so much. I drink almost a fifth of whiskey every day. I think if people were more informed about why people use crutches less people would use a crutch and find comfort in a healthier way.

February 27, 2014 at 7:04 am
(154) Ayla says:

I’ve never heard of many of these categories before. I’m 17 and probably fall under de-stress or boredom. I’ve never drank with anyone else before, always at home between 12am and 4am until I fall asleep. If your underage are the help groups still anonymous?

March 17, 2014 at 8:47 pm
(155) steve says:

Why are people who love drinking, and think it is a way of life, reading these comments?
What could have possibly drawn them here?

May 6, 2014 at 6:02 am
(156) mary says:

19 years of marriage and 3 children later I divorced my husband who to this day still drinks and will never see the sadness his lack of control cost. I did counseling did Alan on thought I was the crazy one in the relationship . Now 8 plus yes later I have my life back and my daughters have a stable role model in their life. Here is a joke my counselor told me “how can you tell who the alcoholic in the family is? You look around the room for the CRAZIEST person in the room and it will be the other guy! If you’ve been the partner of an alcoholic you’ll get that joke. The other guy is the Alcoholic. I also learned that the age a alcoholic starts drinking is the age/mentality the drinker stays at.

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