Mike's Story - Recovering as a Family

I started my sobriety journey in 1993. I did not include my family. We approached the problem as if it was mine alone to cope with and recover from.

This was a mistake in many ways. Alcoholism and addiction is a family disease. My wife and kids did not gain any understanding of the disease. They grew tired of the meetings and the attention I was giving to my recovery. This is a natural reaction of a family that is excluded from the process of recovery.

What none of us understood is that they needed to be a part of my recovery and that this was an essential part of our healing as family. I relapsed after 18 months. They were so isolated from me at this point that they had no idea that I was drinking and drugging again until my disease took over my life to such an extent that I quit coming home.

This time we are recovering as a family. They understand better, as do I, that we need to recover together. I understand that just because I am back in the program that the wounds I inflicted upon them will heal in their own time. All I can do is give them consistent sober conduct and live the principles.

We are all growing closer than I ever knew we could be. My relationship with my wife is blossoming. She seriously considered divorce as an option. She has made it real clear that the only way we can continue on the path we are on is to stay in recovery. This is not a threat and is not the basis of my recovery, it is simply a clear boundry that I have accepted and welcome.

Success Story

I have learned that if I am patient and consistent that progress is inevitable. We have our set backs but now we have a framework to face and deal with what is going on in our family. My kids have allowed me to slowly reassume my role as father. My wife has allowed me to be her husband again.

The potential for growth and love seems to be unlimited. We see a way to nurture and care for each other that never was real before. We are a success story so far, for today, with hope for tommorow.

The chapters (in the book Alcoholics Anonymous) about the family afterwards and to the wives were instrumental in giving us a start on this pathway. I hope our story gives someone at a crossroads some help in patiently waiting for the turnaround to begin.

I am glad we didn't quit before the miracle occurred.