But part of my sickness was, that no matter how bad it got, there was something about them that were comfortable. I was not only used to the chaos, abuse and insanity, I was actually addicted to it and bored to death without it. But more than that, I was afraid to change it. I was more afraid of the unknown, than I was that which I was familiar.
When I finally got fed up and finally walked out and moved away I thought that I had made a big change, but the truth is nothing had changed, except my geographical location. When I finally came into the rooms of Al-Anon, I had to take a hard look at what really needed changing in my life. It was not the alcoholic -- or my marriage, or my job, or my geographic location -- It was ME!
Now, THAT took some real courage! Somebody told me once, that courage is not the absence of fear it's the ability to act in spite of fear! That counrage does not come to us naturally, that is why we must PRAY for it!
God, GRANT me the serenity...
to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
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