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Readers Respond: What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

Responses: 205

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Updated October 09, 2014

Tried to bolster self esteem/counseling

I don't know if I'm specifically trying to get him to stop drinking (though I would love it) but I try to counteract things that seem to contribute to how much he drinks. I try to bolster his self-esteem, to remain positive and so forth. When we are together, he drinks, but not to the point of passing out drunk, etc. The worst times are when we/he are/is around his workmates (who all drink) and they encourage it. What has surprised me is how little alcohol it takes for him to get blind with drink. I tried to explain this to them to no avail. So it's like a tug of war, he can spend days with me and not get that way, but within an hour of spending time with them, he's gone. Becomes a person I don't know and really don't want to spend time with. I have broached the subject and he is agreeable to that, at least in the talking phase. I'll keep my fingers crossed once the appointments are arranged.
—Guest Hopeless and confused

I've tried

What do I do? I am married to a person that I have completely fallen out of love with. He is an alcoholic and puts all of his priorities before ours. He is selfish and irresponsible, and my daughter loves him more than anything. So do I stay with him to ensure my daughters happiness? Or do I leave him and break my daughters heart?
—Guest out of love

My dad is an acoholic. It's painful

Drinking alcohol is a terrible thing. It causes many problems, and sometimes people just can't leave it. My father has been an alcoholic since I can remember. Unfortunately, he sexually molested me when I was younger many times. Most of the time he molested me was after he had alcoholic beverages. I forgave him and he promised he would stop drinking, he broke that promise soon and even lets the alcohol beverages in our fridge. Opening the fridge is always a painful experience for me. I thought that all the problems that the alcohol caused would be a good enough reason for him to stop drinking. Now it seems that he prefers his beers over me and his promise. Please people, try to quit drinking, it causes problems and can tear families apart.
—Guest Guest12

Long distance relationship

I have been in a 800 mile long distance relationship. It was only after the second year of talking did I discover the drinking to be a problem. He is on probation and is not suppose to drink at all. He has been sober for 2 years and became such a wonderful chairperson at his AA meetings. Stress and pressures, a daughter's wedding he is excluded from, going back to a high powered job after 5 year hiatus, and an ailing mother finally put him back on the bottle. This weekend he was cited for public drunkenness. Not sure what will happen next and only 6 months left of his probation. I found him after a 27 year marriage ended in divorce due to infidelity on my ex's side and feel like a failure if I were to leave this man. I have showered him with gifts traveled to see him three times and was planning another in September. When he drinks he is all about sex. Everyday, talking about it. He even propositioned a neighbor with a note. Someone needs to tell my heart to let go since I know in my mind I should.
—Guest Confused

He won't stop

My boyfriend of 2 years has been drinking a liter of vodka. After him not wanting help, I finally got him in a priory but after 1 week of treatment came out and hit the bottle again. I love him but can't put up with the pain and abuse he's causing me, therefore I have left to concentrate on my life. Let's hope he can find himself before it's to late.
—Guest Beth

Naltrexone?

Antabuse for 2 weeks, but then he fall again. Can you tell me about Naltrexone injection? Will that help? There is no help in this country for them.
—salminadaubermann

To help someone stop drinking

I have talked to and spoken to the person about alcohol being able to possibly show one of four personality traits that can possibly show different effects. The first being more toughness that can lead to violence which can be dangerous. The other traits getting depressed which is also not good. The other is letting the your guard down. I don't remember the fourth but the fact that drinking makes the person something other than who they really are is dangerous. The alcohol is not worth losing yourself. I have spoken to someone close and he ended up with Alzheimer's disease, alcohol related dementia, cirrhosis of the liver, 2 strokes, this has been very hard and it is all related to drinking. Be safe and never have a drink while sad. Never have any kind of alcohol it is not good for you at all.
—Guest Krysteen

Same trap

I have read every single one of the posts. Glad to know we are not alone. My dad is an alcoholic, and his mom was before him who passed away from liver cancer when she was just 54. If it wasn't for my mom, dad would be in jail or dead. Now I feel that I am falling at the same trap. I broke up with a wonderful young man who I cared for deeply and dated for 4 years but there was just no love, he was more of a brother. And started seeing someone I fell in love with quickly, the problem is he likes to drink. In a way I like that he likes to drink because that's what's accepted in my family. But I am scared for my future, I am in love with this man. He's wonderful when he's sober. I just don't know what to do, help?
—Guest Hopelessromantic

Well done

My brother has stopped for one month, and I call him every day, he does not live near me. But today he was slurring his words and I think he may have been drinking, he was doing so well and I felt I had my brother back, which I have not had for over 20 years, I decided to call him back and ask, but his phone is off, sure sign that all is not well. I am so gutted; all we have been through and he promised if he had any worries he would call, and not drink. I know its far from easy he has tried before, but with illness and age, his doctor getting him into hospital, this was his last real change, I so want my brother back! I have to face him tomorrow and I know he will say all is well, Oh what do I do?
—Guest jo

My girlfriend

My girlfriend is studying in another state. Along with the distance she drinks. It was fine for the first year but now she goes out several times a week and gets very drunk with people, and most of the time doesn't tell me. I know shes cheated on me because of the alcohol and what sickens me is that this stuff is legal, after the countless years of pain and tears it has brought people including myself. While at the same time, something as harmless as marijuana is illegal. Its all about money. They don't care about you. They want you to keep drinking and make more money.
—Guest Lonely cloud

Again after 2 years without a binge

Feeling utterly dejected after my sister has started drinking again after 2 years without a drink. When she starts she can't stop herself and in the past I've had to stop her - remove money, alcohol etc. She's had fits, liver disease, cirrhosis - and a letter from a consultant telling her that her next binge could result in death. For the last three years she's been studying at college and has just got her degree. She tells me she can now drink socially - and has done twice before. But of course she can't and this time is the same as it always used to be. Back to the vodka for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I feel sickened for her children - they are teenagers now and scared. What will happen to them now? For the past few years they have enjoyed having their mum back and it is hitting them hard that they are back in the same old scenario. I just don't want to go and stop her this time. It's her decision to drink. It was her decision to stop when she stopped after all.
—Guest Sister

Drinking is a scary thing for some.

I am 23 and have lived around alcohol my entire life. I myself turned to it as crutch, and for the past three years have been in very bad situations as a result. I don't want to drink any more but have failed twice since I pledged to stay drink free. I know it is my choice to drink, but it is so hard not to at times. I struggle with this ailment. Some people don't abuse the booze, but I am one of them who can't stop when I can't start. I really hate the person I become when I am intoxicated.
—Guest Beenie

He gives us the pain we don't deserve

I'm seventeen and let me tell you it's hard when you find out that your father isn't the great man you thought him to be. At first I couldn't believe it but now that I've seen it for myself the pain is unbearable. He drinks almost every night and has lost total control of his life. He's stuck in a dead end job but it doesn't matter to him. Our future is getting messed up because of him but it's like he doesn't give a damn! Family, health, ethics-- it's all just worthless to him. I loved him but now I've started to despise him. I want to get away from him. I want to save my future. I want to save him too but he won't admit he needs help. I wish I knew what to do and right now, even the tiniest ray of hope would do a lot. Just hope that it's not too late when that hope does appear.
—Brair_Rose

23 years of trying

I am 41 now, and still trying. I am married to an alcoholic, same story. I am tired of trying but can't stop trying. He admits and says he is trying to stop, but I know he just says that so I stay and share his pain. Every day he drinks but still functions. I feel his family has issues they are not willing to face. His mom is not an alcoholic but ignorant. She lives in the addition that he built for her and just started drinking alone last year. You would think with all her experiences that would be the last thing she would do, that is why I say she is ignorant. For that I have a great amount of animosity towards her and guess what they both smoke marijuana as well. What a joke! I am the only voice that says stop the madness and live sober, I do. You never know what facilities are true to helping you or taking your money. I am able to live but with a great burden of pain that sits on my shoulders like a ton of bricks. I am great until I come home and see him drunk. Help!
—Guest Lisa

Worst experience

Am 24 years old with a girl baby. My husband has turned out to be the worst person I have ever met. He is so alcoholic that he has no time for his family. After work he goes on a drinking spree where he stays for two days. He only stays at our house when he has hangovers. He has turned out two be violent in every petty issue. Please help me because this is getting on my nerves and am opting to call it quits. He impregnated a girl and the only response he could give me was that he was drunk, though I learned that it was an old affair. Now so many private numbers are calling him. I feel so disrespected since he is unfaithful to me. He has no time for us, he spends most of the money he gets in beer and women. Help.
—Guest jajajo
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