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Readers Respond: What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

Responses: 322

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Updated September 22, 2012

I Quit Today

I have read about your pain these alcoholics cause. First let me say if your life is in danger, get the hell out NOW. Mentally we all think we can take it, but deep down we are depressed and anxious. It's NOT your fault they drink. Do not blame yourself. I went down that road with my husband for 23 years now. I was always drinking right up with him. I now realize it's not cute, it's not fun, it ruins your life. So today I have decided to quit drinking. For myself. I'm not sure what will happen, but I want the rest of my life to be lived without beating myself up the next day for acting stupid. Godspeed to you all.
—Guest Misery

Worried Of My Mom's And My Siblings

My father started drinking when I was just 2 years .. When I was small he used to beat my mom , screaming on my mom , abusing her. I was then small that's why I couldn't stop him, but now i'm 17 still he is there and there. He hadn't changed yet ! But Now i've grown younger so I can stop him from beating my mom, screaming on all persons and abusing anyone! But I can't find the way to make him to STOP DRINKING! My dad remains OK for 3-4 months after that when he starts his drinking he continues it for 15-20 days :/ It's Annoying! Can anyone just tell me the way to make him STOP DRINKING ? Please! I think we've lost everything , Money , House , Car . Everything but we don't have any great future because of my father's this bad habit! PLEASE HELP ME !
—Guest Priyanka

What is a father

My father use to drink and still does since I was a little kid and has gotten worse he drinks right after work I had to go pick him up a houre away from where we lived he drinks right after worke he starts arguing over the littles thing i have gotten so close to hitting him but I can't I don't know what is a father I hear my friend telling me his father is his hero but I don't know what a father is can u tell me what is a father..? Cuz I don't i never played catch he toke me to a baseball game ones that was when I was 6 and now am 21 I been abused like being hit and getting picked up by my ears and getting yelled at name calling being called a dog , useless person , and tell me that he wasted money on me that I can't pay him back am useless . Have. You ever thought dead was so simple ..? I have but I can't live to see my mom suffering by me. Doing this what can I do noting. Just to see if there a better day .... Is there or it's just a cloudy day for the rest of my days
—Guest Person

Getting in too deep

I have a husband who when we married 5 years ago, I noticed he had a drinking problem, 5 years now I like to drink beer and hang and relax but he gets demeaning and blames it on me. I stand up to this and he reminds me it's his house, his everything. I will quit drinking because he always puts it on me. He comes home and drinks up to a 18 pack in 6-hour period then tells me it was me that did it, I could have 6 beers on my night off. He drinks everyday. He blames me for him losing his house and why I have no running water and I pay for what I can. Why does this have to be so hard!
—Guest Just here

At least get your children in Al-anon

My step-father was a week-end drunk. Nice guy during the week. It left me with high anxiety and insecurity. I went to counseling and adult children of alcoholics and it helped. If you stay in the situation, at least get yourself and your children in al- anon. There was no physical abuse in my family. Don't let anyone abuse your kids. I do not drink at all and I do not date men who drink.
—Guest AdultChildofAlchoholic

Jekyll and Hyde.

He owns our home so when he gets drunk he threatens to kick me out and burn my property. In the morning he acts like nothing happened. If anything is said he is around the shop getting another couple of bottles of wine. He used to send me to get them I never buy any drink any more. It's difficult because neighbors and friends buy bottles of booze unaware that even cooking sherry will be guzzled on one of his binges. I wish I could kick the drunk out and stay with the sober guy but it's getting to the point where I may have to make myself homeless just to keep my sanity. What makes a sober person take that first sip if they know what they will turn into? I wish I were not able to get well again and get a job just so I had a bit of financial security.
—Guest Anon

Weekend Drinker

My husband has been drinking as long as I have know him for 16 years. He has had 3 DUIs and has lost his license twice. He has been to a treatment center twice. He use to go to A.A. regularly. One would think he would stop permentaly, but he doesn't. Now he drinks only on the weekends from Friday night to Sunday. We don't do anything fun together because he' s drunk all weekend. I am very unhappy and don't even look forward to the weekends anymore. I just detach a don't say anything anymore. This is not a healthy marriage and I am very. What helps me is to read One Day At Time in Al-Anon and The Language of Letting Go books and pray daily. I can only help myself right now and hope and pray he turns his life over a d stops drinking.
—Guest Unhappy wife

Drunk Dad

All my dad cares about is his drink. Comes home from work, opens a can of beer. On his day off, opens a can of beer before noon. On a good day he'll drink around 4 cans. My mum has tried everything to get him to stop but he hasnt. He always goes out to who knows where straight after my mum leaves for work in the morning when hes off or on a late shift. When he doesnt drink hes a nice guy and was a great father, however his constant drinking has now lowered my opinion of him where I now cant stand to be around him. When hes drunk he always argues, especially with my mum. He never takes responsibility over the bills which leaves more pressure on my mum. He had made it so hard for me to study for my exams due to his constant shouting and always having arguments. I now think of him as a useless man but I still have hope that he will one day stop. It upsets me to think that my mum has put up with this for 20 years - she deserves better. She told me it was much worse when we were younger.
—Guest Guest

He will never quit!

I have tried things I have read on how to get my husband to quit. Nothing has worked. he has gotten worse this year, he drinks 2bottles Vodka in about an hour, then passes out on floor, back porch, or in middle foyer with door open, I read to be supportive didn't work, tried telling him I would divorce him didn't work, told him really needed rehab no that didn't work . he is know mean, abusive sober or drunk, he blames me for everything wrong and why he drinks, I am tired , our kids hate him. I want to leave him when our lease is up in October, I can't live like this anymore, we walk on eggshells every day he is here.
—Guest k

Sad daughter

Every now and then my dad doesn't come home at night, he goes drink but he doesn't even warn us... He has hepatitis C because when he was young he used to do drugs, so we get really scared because it's very risky to drink anything with that illness.... And he does. Plus, i believe he cheats on my mom (he has actually told me and my sister that, one time when he was drunk).... Besides that, he's a very abusive person, both mentally and physically towards all three of us girls... Though, he doesn't hit my mom anymore because she started hitting him back real hard... And i'm so troubled and full of hatred... But when he's ok, he's the best dad in the world, i love him to death... It's very confusing. He didn't come home tonight, i'm sick of hearing my mother cry, but then again, i'm so confused that i actually partially blame her, for not ever protecting us, children, when he hits us nor standing up to him (like divorcing him, instead of beating him too). I hate this, but i love them
—Guest Bibs

Let us stay positive

Am lady of 23 years and married to a 26 years old guy..we are only married for 5 years. Now am experiencing a drinking problem from him. I also think the cause of a miscarriage i had few months ago. He is drinking as if it is the end of the road. This thinking is killing me but I believe that all will pass it is a temporarily. God will make a way
—Guest Luphelo

Making The Wrong Choice

Desperate and depressed I notice that I was making the wrong choices all my life married a Guy who I thought I was going to be happily married but as sad it sounds it has not been nothing like that .. my story is married 3 years have one year old daughter at the beginning my marriage was a tornado always mad at him for leaving me alone to go drink I tired talking to him seriously he stopped. A little bit but than began again 6months later he was an off and go drinker drinking two times a week getting drunk than my daughter came he stopped than terrible he got so drunk that he gotten lost since 5 noting to 12 at noon getting so drunk that I said ENOUGH IS ENOUGH LEFT HIM but he kept begging me not to leave him and I was so determined to leave him and flew back to my parents house with a broken heart he notice his mistakes can I forgive him but I am worried he goes back and my daughter suffers because of me what can I do? Will be making the same wrong choice? Need advise .....
—Guest lonely n sad

Not so good

Ive tried with my husband of almost 5 yrs but it hasn't worked. i just got really upset when he left to go drinking again. i feel that Im done. i have 2 boys with disabilities and our daughter 3 yrs old. they watch this happen so much its hurting them dearly but i still love him with all my heart. i just cant anymore. i pray it was different but i guess he doesn't mind losing his family over it. it hurts so very much and on top of this my beautiful sister past in December. i cant deal with this any longer. Its been so hard i tried talking to him to see if we can get help. he dont want it.
—Guest nessa

Detaching

My husband continuous to drink. He had a blow up, after drinking all day, at me at my daughter's graduation party in our home. It embarrassed me tremendously, but the more I kept my cool, the more he raged and embarrassed himself more than embarrassing me. So I just stay calm and coolheaded. I have learned to walk away, take the do for a walk, etc. and 20 minutes later, he is cooled down. It is like a child acting up negatively to seek attention. Yesterday he drank most of the day and missed a concert I bought tickets for. So my daughter and her friend and I went without him. He doesn't know the fun things he is missing because he is a drunk. His loss, not mine. That's how I look at it now.
—Guest Nole

ENABLING?

Enabling? It seems only to mean not cleaning up his/her messes or going out to buy their booze or making excuses. Sorry, it is much more. You are ALSO enabling when you stand by watching and doing nothing to protect your home against this madness. STOP ALLOWING this stuff in your home! So what if they get angry...they are perpetually angry people anyway. So what if they threaten you...ditto. Do your worst ! I have reached YOUR "rock bottom" before you ever will...I have nothing to lose now...YOU DO! So, get out of my face and dont touch me unless you are stone cold sober or I WILL call the police! Keep your lying, vile comments to yourself and your hands OFF me or I WILL drive you out of the house and you will know the meaning of the word HELL... a precious gift from the one who used to love you. Compassion? Um, sorry...you used that up the last time you disrespected me. Act like a man like I have to do. Dont expect something that YOU never offered to your victim.
—Guest Rowena

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What Have You Tried to Get Someone to Stop Drinking?

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