Happy Birthday slimkin1!
- Great job on 3 weeks! I'm also 47 and at around 75-80 days now. It just recently started getting easier and the doomy fog is lifting. So hang in there and no matter what don't drink! Loneliness is better than poisoning yourself only to feel more lonely after it wears off anyway. It's kinda hard for me to hang out with my friends who drink because we are no longer on the same wavelength with them two sheets to the wind and me wanting to engage in real conversation. So I read, run, and watch lots of netflix...and I hope I cross paths someday with other souls like myself wanting more out of life than a drunken binge and a hangover.
- —Guest Runner girl
- I know exactly how you feel. Social anxiety is the bain of my life, and alcohol provides the relief. It's the same for most sufferers. The only relief I've had was when I was given Librium by my GP to get over withdrawal symptoms. That worked, but guess what? it's addictive. Talk about irony....
- —Guest Megabeer
- Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'm 2 days off three weeks now. Today is my birthday , the first one I have ever spent sober. I feel a bit depressed with no grog but are getting there by keeping myself busy and taking up reading novels again. I lost a lot through drinking - my children, years that I could have spent looking for a job that I wasted. I'm 47 today. I'm staying away from another drinking friend as well who doesn't think shes an alcoholic but cant live without it. Its a bit lonely without my drinking friends. This site has given me ideas on other things I can do with my life. Thank you
- —Guest slimkim1
- To Yvan Thank you so much for your input. It means a lot to me. Things are on track but i still find it tough. Xxooo
- —Guest Caroshannon350@gmail.cpn
- Thank you. Seeing people that understand makes me feel better. I don't attend AA, I attend a place called "Terros". Which is a facility that provides psychiatric help (including prescribed medicine) and therapy groups. You have to attend three, two hour sessions a week for a month in order to receive any type of medication. Problem is I'm in these groups with convicted felons, meth addicts, sex addicts, and schizophrenics. I'm not judging anyone, but I'm plainly an alcoholic, I've never been arrested and I don't do any drugs, so I feel a bit nervous in these groups at times. It's free though, covered by my Medicaid, so it's what I have to do. I've cut off members of my family because they are too much for me right now. I had a glass of ice tea on the counter, and I caught my mother-in-law smelling it. I flew off the handle. I threw it in her face and said, "CAN YOU SMELL IT NOW?!" Yeah, I'm a little on edge. So I prefer books and movies, rather then people.
- —Guest Josie
- After being forced to go to the hospital, Alcoholism and being alcohol dependent is now permenetly on my medical records. I now may not be accepted for the disability I applied for because of it. I'm running out of money, and fast. If I hadn't drank to excess this would not be so. I tried to treat my social anxiety with alcohol, but nobody seems to focus on the anxiety - just the alcohol. Take the alcohol away, like now, I have anger rages and panic attacks, like I did before I started drinking. But nobody sees this. They just see the alcoholism. This is one heck of a mess I'm in right now. It's like every time I feel like I'm climbing out of the hole, I fall into another one.
- —Guest Josie
- That was a very deep and emotional post. It brought tears in my eyes. It is awful to realize what alcohol has done to us. I have lost a lot in my life, or I destroyed a lot, I prefer to say now. I tried so many times to give up, I always came back to drinking. I am soon 7 months sober, I tried last year, I relapse after 9 months. I can say today, I am done. I will never allow alcohol to destroy once more what I am rebuilding. I am a recovering alcoholic, not a recovered alcoholic. I keep in mind the physical withdrawals, the anxieties, the oppression that followed, but I remember and will never forget the madness, how stupid, proud and arrogant I was, how I used to think I was the only one who was living hell because of my addiction. I was making everyone suffer, I couldn't see it, or worse I didn't care. Today, I know life can be a bitch, but I am doing well because I know life can be beautiful as well if we want to make it beautiful. Thank you for sharing. Yes we can be happy. Hugs.
- —Guest Yvan
To guest scared
- I was gonna come on here and write about how i'm on day 36 of no booze and then I read Guest Scareds post. It resonated so much. I was coming onto this site for years and reading the posts. Like every Monday after the weekends bingeing and I always promised it was my last time feeling like that but come Friday I was always back to it. Over the years I kept drinking relatively under control but there would always be a slip up every few months and I know the withdrawals get worse and worse and more crippling every time. I also know "keeping it under control" is just too much effort. Us alcoholics obsess over booze too much that keeping in check just becomes draining and the inevitable is never far away. Learning to live again without the crutch of booze is the real answer. I'm no expert and I definitely haven't cracked this thing yet but keep going. Day 1 sucks but these early days are there to teach you. I am not religious but I believe in myself to do the right thing. Keep going!!
- —Guest Rock Bottom
- My financial problems and anxiety disorder are a huge factor, if not the only factor, for my alcoholism. I have been sober for nearly 3 weeks now. Luckily, my pancreas is fine, but My liver enzymes were slightly raised. My Dr. took my blood to test for Diabetes. I had no idea excessive drinking could cause Diabetes. Just something else to worry about. I feel healthy, but mentally I'm still all over the place. Getting better every day though.
- —Guest Josie
- When I really decided to stop, I felt horrible with all the withdrawal symptoms that I knew only too well (the shakes, sweating, terrible anxiety and irritability....). The difference this time is that I decided that for now, it mattered less to me what people thought. I had to go through this for myself (knowing that my family and entourage would benefit). I knew that taking a few walks would do me good but I didn't want to meet anybody. But I went anyway because it was for me not for the neighbors. Its a very tough ride - I'm on day 5 and I know its not on year 5 but I feel proud to have pushed myself beyond the fear of not trying. Thanks to everyone on this site!
- —Guest hope21
- My name is Caroline and I am an alcoholic. I woke up last Sunday morning after drinking way too much vodka for way too many days, months and years. I was a wreck. As I lay there in bed, I somehow faced myself in terms of accepting that alcohol had robbed me of my health, my looks, my dignity, my career, my self confidence, my interest in life and people, and most of all it had robbed me of who I had wanted to be, a good mother, a good wife, a good person who made a contribution to society.
- —Guest Hope21
- I come here to read hundreds of responses when I go through withdrawal and every time I tell myself that this is the last time, I can't ever let myself get to this point but here I am again. I went to the ER yesterday because I knew after my last binge, this wasn't going to be easy and they gave me Librium to take home. I have 30 days before this last bender and gave it up because I though I'd be more in control this time. Nope. It was a blind, self destructive binge and I missed work for the passed 3 days. I really don't want to do this alone and I'm terrified. I hope the Librium helps and I can make it into work tomorrow. All of your posts are what's keeping me hopeful and able to get through this. Thank you.
- —Guest Scared
- Hi Josie. I feel the same way you do. Very unhappy about the way love is so conditional although I do understand how the ones we love hate to see us hurting or killing ourselves. I am yet again trying to taper down and off and of course nobody trusts me and I don't even trust myself. I was sober for a year in AA and hated every minute of it, never felt crazier or sicker in my life. I am hoping it will get better but really am upset with myself and others at this point. My best to you, I DO understand.
- —Guest psvtt
Look very deep and trust your soul !!
- Wow, reading all these post makes me feel so proud of all these people fighting so hard to change there lives. I've been through a lot of this in different ways and the hardest for me was all the emotional stuff. Knowing I needed help and asking and no one really knowing how. I talked to my doctor and she said I had a lot of soul searching to do, that confused me a bit and I just kept drinking . In my situation at the time there was domestic stuff going on . I had 3 kids , very unhealthy relationship for 12 yrs . I wasn't allowed to have a phone... And previous to having my kids I was addicted to crack for 2 yrs.. I quit crack and switched to alcohol ... In a lotta ways to society it was better than what I was doing and in my mind... It was too but an addiction is an addiction and you need to b really strong and research about it as much as you can on your own in ways you have to listen to that lil voice inside your head that's telling u somethings really wrong and start researching
- —Guest Listen to what your really sayin to you!
- I decided to call the doctor yesterday as for the first time ever I experienced the shakes first thing in the morning after actually not drinking that much anymore. I had to have a drink in the morning (which I have never had to do before) just so people at work would not see the shakes. The doctor has given me Diazepam for the shakes and told me not to just stop drinking but to cut down slowly, she also gave me a therapists number to call. I had an all inclusive holiday recently and drunk very heavily on that, I have always been a heavy drinker, 3 beers and easily 2 bottles of wine pretty much every evening for the past 20 years (I am 38). I stopped drinking for a week about 2 months ago and didn't get any symptoms at all, so why now? Anyway, I haven't had a drink so far today and the tablets are working for the shakes but I do keep going dizzy and am finding it hard to concentrate. I will seek the help I need but the stories on here scare me for what I face :( But I will do it)!!
- —Guest DD